“His pocket knife tore through my clothes in seconds. He left nothing. I hadn’t even seen the rope in his back pocket until he shoved me against the rail post and began tying it around my body. That’s where he left me for two days after telling me that no one would ever touch me again, that no one would want to touch me once they knew what a whore I was.” She maintained eye contact with Vance, but they had gone vacant again, disassociating herself from the memory in an effort to block out the humiliation and pain she had been forced to endure.
Peter swore softly and shook his head. His gaze slid from the statuesque Natalie to his notepad where he scribbled a few more hasty notes. Even after he finished writing, he didn’t speak for a long time. Gypsy squirmed in Natalie’s lap, trying to snuggle closer to her hurting friend, but she had completely shut down by then and wouldn’t respond to him in any way.
The next time Peter spoke, it was to Vance rather than Natalie. “Tell me about the call and letter,” he said quietly so as not to disturb Natalie.
“The call,” Vance said after a worried glance at Natalie, “I didn’t hear myself, but she told me it was her father and he demanded she come home to face the consequences of her actions. He said they had been searching for her for seven years, and now that he’d found her, she wouldn’t be able to escape her punishment any longer.”
Peter looked back at Natalie. She sat staring blankly ahead with her arms wrapped stiffly around Gypsy. Frowning, he looked back to Vance. “And the letter?”
Rather than explaining, he handed the sheet of paper over. It didn’t take long for Peter to read it and drag a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know what to think when you called. No offense, but one phone call and a letter from her father didn’t sound like much to go on.” He shook his head. “After hearing the rest of her story, I can’t believe this guy is still running around free. What kind of sick bastard ties his teenage daughter to the porch and leaves her there just because she had sex with her boyfriend? I’m all for teen abstinence, but that’s child abuse. And no one did anything to help her?”
It was sickening to even contemplate such a thing could happen. Knowing it had happened…hearing Natalie’s empty voice recount such a tragic event in her life, made him regret eating breakfast. If touching her at all wouldn’t have sent her even deeper into herself than she already was, Vance wouldn’t have let go of her for the rest of the day, maybe longer. All he wanted to do in that moment was wrap his arms around her and erase all the internal scars she tried so hard to hide.
“It’s a miracle she functions as well as she does. Something like that would have broken someone weaker,” Vance said.
“Days like this make me lose faith in humanity in general,” Peter said grimly.
Vance started to nod in agreement, then frowned and shook his head. “But people like Natalie restore that faith. She’s so strong, and she doesn’t even recognize it in herself. She thinks she’s weak for running away and hiding, but she did what most are too scared to actually do.”
His eyes were pulled back to Natalie. Her empty expression had softened into one of sleep brought on by the need to escape. The emotional hell he had just forced her to endure was too much on her system and she’d retreated, but that wasn’t entirely unexpected. He hated that she’d had to even think about it, let alone relive it, but now he and Peter both understood the danger she was facing. They could protect her now.
“If she’s not willing to go in front of a judge with all of this, getting a restraining order will be difficult,” Peter said.
Vance shook his head, even though he had been the one pushing that very thing earlier that morning. “I don’t think she can handle going through this again.”
Nodding in agreement, Peter said, “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure she’s watched out for regardless.” He stood and handed Vance a business card. “Make sure she has my number in her phone in case she needs something when you’re not here.”
The assumption that Vance would be in Natalie’s apartment on a regular basis made him hesitate in taking the card. “I’m not sleeping with her,” he said, defensive even though he wasn’t entirely sure why. So what if he was involved with Natalie? Guilt twisted his gut, because he knew there was more than one reason getting involved with Natalie would cause disapproving looks.
“I know,” Peter said calmly, “but I can see that you care about her a lot and want to keep her safe.” He extended the card again until Vance finally took it. “I’m sorry I judged you before. Stephanie was a great girl, but sitting alone in your apartment drinking all day isn’t going to help you deal with losing her.”
Grimacing, Vance’s head dropped. “You called Guy, didn’t you?” Vance should have remembered that Peter and Guy had become friends over the years thanks to his work on the psychiatric floor of the hospital and his frequent involvements with the local police.
Peter sighed. “You sounded a little frantic when you called this morning and Guy had already asked me to keep an eye on your building since you were refusing to talk to anyone. I wasn’t sure what was going on and I was worried.”
“I really am doing better,” Vance promised. “And I’ll call Guy later and apologize for dropping off the planet since the funeral.”
“Hey, everyone understands you needed time to process things. They’re just worried.” He looked back at Natalie for a moment. “Watching out for Natalie gives you something to do, something to focus on, and she really needs it. If something more than that develops between the two of you…nobody’s going to fault you, Vance.”
Vance narrowed his eyes, remembering all too well Peter’s earlier reaction. “Oh really?”
Holding up his hands in defense, Peter said, “I’m sorry. I really am. It just took me by surprise to think you were already involved with someone else. For whatever reason, Natalie was the only one capable of getting you to sober up and leave your apartment, and that can only be a good thing.”
Not sure how to respond to that, Vance didn’t say anything at all.
“I’ll talk to a few others and let you know what we can do to make sure Natalie’s protected, okay?” Peter gripped Vance’s shoulder to reassure him. “You’ll stay with her for a while, I’m guessing?”
“She’s off work until Monday. I’ll…” Vance trailed off, not sure what answer he was trying to give. Going back to his apartment made his chest constrict even though he knew Stephanie’s things had been packed up. Natalie hadn’t asked him to stay, and probably didn’t even want him there. “I’ll be around to make sure she’s okay,” he finished awkwardly.
This time, there truly was no judgment in Peter’s expression or tone as he told Vance he’d be in touch soon and took his leave. After the door closed behind Peter, Vance reached forward automatically and turned the deadbolt. Then he just stood there, unsure of what to do next. Natalie had taken off work to keep an eye on him, but now he was the one trying to protect her. But how? Would she really put up with him in her apartment for that long? He didn’t even have a toothbrush or clothes. Eventually he’d have to go back to his apartment, but the longer he put it off the better in his mind.
Making a decision he wasn’t entirely sure was the best, he found his phone and dialed Guy’s number. After nearly ten minutes spent reassuring him that everything was all right and Vance hadn’t disappeared off the face of the earth, he was finally able to make his request. There was only relief and no judgment when he asked Guy to pick up a few things from his apartment and bring them to Natalie’s. Maybe Guy was just better at hiding it than Peter had been at first, but then again, Guy had been the one to ask Natalie to stay in contact with Vance in the first place.
He hung up a few seconds later and turned back to the living room to figure out what to do about Natalie. Slumped to one side in the armchair, he knew she was going to wake up sore and stiff if he left her there. Touching her seemed like such a foreign thought, he almost tossed away the idea of moving her to her bed as soon as it formed, but as he stared at her, exha
usted and hurting, he couldn’t just leave her there.
It was more than the fact that she looked incredibly uncomfortable. What she had said about everyone being too afraid of her father to touch her, of never knowing tenderness or kindness until Thomas risked her father’s wrath to be with her, and especially of his parting promise after tying her to the porch railing that no one would ever want to touch her again, Vance needed to touch her. He needed to show her that not every touch would lead to pain and sadness.
Gently, he picked up Gypsy from her lap and set her on the floor. The little dog barked once in annoyance, but then went unnaturally still as Vance reached forward to slip his arms beneath Natalie’s body. Gypsy seemed rather intuitive when it came to Natalie’s needs, and she watched in a strange reverence through the entire process of Vance lifting her into his arms and cradling her seemingly frail body against his chest.
Never once did she bark or object as Vance carried Natalie. In fact, the little dog scampered ahead and led the way to Natalie’s bedroom, bumping her nose against the door to push it open for him. Vance smiled at the helpful gesture and pushed it open the rest of the way with his foot. The rich lavenders and periwinkles matched Natalie’s naturally soft nature and the deep tones of the furniture seemed to ground the room to provide a comforting stability.
Gripping the edge of the comforter in her mouth, Gypsy tugged it backward for Vance. He chuckled at the dog and laid Natalie carefully down on the bed. He had to play a bit of tug-of-war to get the comforter corner back from Gypsy, but she finally let go and he pulled the blanket over Natalie’s body, pausing in the middle of the motion when he saw the expression on her face.
When he’d picked her up, there had been zero emotion, zero reaction even. He’d been too busy paying attention to Gypsy to notice when the change had occurred, but it almost looked as if she were smiling. It wasn’t very noticeable, just a small upturn at the corner of her mouth, but it was vastly changed from the broken deadness he had seen earlier.
Vance settled the blanket around her shoulders, but hesitated leaving. Gypsy was already curled up on the floor as close to the bed as she could get since her stubby little legs would never allow her to climb up with Natalie. She would let him know if Natalie woke up. That should have been reassurance enough, but Vance didn’t leave. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing as he walked around to the other side of Natalie’s bed. Leaving the room just seemed so…difficult.
It was almost lunch time. Guy had promised to run to Vance’s apartment during his lunch break to bring Vance what he needed for the next few days. He’d call when he got to Natalie’s. It wouldn’t be long. Lying down for a few minutes just to make sure Natalie was going to be okay would be fine. He’d be up and gone long before she woke.
He was careful not to touch her or get too close as he laid down. Rolling onto his side, he watched her expression to be sure he wasn’t disturbing her. The only change was a slight relaxation that rolled through her entire body. The longer he lay next to her, the more she relaxed. The change was startling as he realized he’d never seen her look so peaceful. He was so accustomed to her furrowed brow and tense features that she seemed almost like a different person.
Reaching forward, he brushed her hair back from her face, not because it seemed to be bothering her, but just to see what would happen. He was rewarded by a brief deepening of her faint smile. It was there and gone in a moment, but Vance’s hand froze as he really looked at her. He’d never noticed before how beautiful she was without the burden of constant fear. Relaxing back against the pillow, he wondered what it would take to see that peaceful beauty when she was awake. He was still contemplating that thought when exhaustion got the better of him.
Chapter 23
The Effort
Natalie woke slowly, which wasn’t a common occurrence for her. Nightmares often plagued her sleep, and even when they didn’t she almost always woke with a start, heart racing as her ever present fear kicked in to keep her company for the day. The calm with which she woke was unsettling, while at the same time strangely delicious.
Blinking slowly, she wondered why it was so light. Her mind felt foggy and she couldn’t quite remember what day it was or how she had ended up in bed. The last thing she remembered…cold flooded through her body as the memories resurfaced. Talking to Detective Morrow, telling her story, Vance listening. That last thought made her crash more than anything else, which was both confusing and shocking. What must he think of her after hearing the truth?
Her chest began heaving as her fingers curled around the comforter. Wretched tears poured down her cheeks and fell into her hair no matter how hard she tried to stop herself from yet another round of crying. Sensing her distress, Gypsy whined and whimpered from the floor, unable to reach her. A sudden shift in the mattress beside her very nearly made her scream, but the muttered curse that followed had a bewildering effect.
Vance jumped away from the bed, eyes wide. “Natalie, I’m sorry,” he pleaded. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I just laid down for a minute…to make sure you were going to be okay. I was worried, I…”
Her breathing slowed with every word. The tears stopped altogether. The fingers that were strangling the blanket relaxed. Sluggish understanding crept into her mind. He had been there the whole time. Lying next to her as she slept…as she truly, honestly slept. That should have terrified her, having him that close to her. She had never slept so peacefully, certainly not since running away from her parents, likely not since she was a small child.
Backing up from the bed, Vance looked as panicked as she usually felt. “No,” she begged, “don’t go.”
Vance frowned. “You…want me to stay? In here?”
She nodded before she let herself think about it for too long. Afraid she’d change her mind if she didn’t speak quickly, she said, “Lay down again. Please.”
Wary, Vance moved slowly. The mattress shifted as his weight settled back onto the bed. She could barely feel his presence, but that subtle change in her position was so reassuring, she sighed and never wanted to move from that spot.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Vance said quietly.
“You didn’t.” She breathed in deeply, taking in the moment of peace. “I didn’t even know you were there until you jumped up.”
Vance shifted, drawing her eyes to him. He looked at her, brows pinched together. “But…you were upset and crying. I thought…”
She shook her head, the movement so small it barely even rustled the pillow case.
“Why then?”
Natalie closed her eyes as a swell of panic tried to rise. “I remembered telling you about my father and I was afraid…” She swallowed down the fear lodging in her throat. “I was afraid of what you must think of me now.” Her chest rose and fell heavily with each deep breath.
“Think of you?” Vance questioned. “Why would hearing the truth about what your father did to you change the way I think about you? All it did was help me understand you better.”
Disbelieving, Natalie pulled back from him. “You must see me differently now. How could you not? Don’t you see how damaged and broken I am?”
“Broken?” Vance leaned up on one elbow and studied her. “Natalie, I’ve never thought of you as broken. Hurt, injured, yes. Damaged? Not beyond repair, if that’s what you’re thinking. What he did to you was cruel. Not just after he found you with Thomas, but all of it. No parent should ever treat a child like that. The way he treated you left scars, but his actions don’t make you who you are. If anything defines you, it’s your strength.”
Frowning, Natalie turned to face him. His reaction was nothing like what she expected. It was reassuring, but confusing as well. The two days she’d spent tied to her front porch naked, everyone saw her. Maybe not the entire town, but enough of them. No one helped her. Most didn’t even look at her. The few who did, looked at her like she was lower than the dirt they walked on. There’d been no compassion in their eyes, no pity even. Ther
e was a good chance they all knew why she had been tied up, and they all seemed to think she’d gotten what she’d deserved.
Her hometown was small and close-knit, but not a single person ever lifted a finger to help her. Natalie suffered in silence. She could only assume there was a consensus on her punishment, on her worthlessness. It broke the last of her strength and confidence. If everyone who saw her there on the porch thought she deserved to be publicly humiliated because of her disobedience, they must have been right, weren’t they?
She couldn’t understand whether Vance’s reaction had been unusual, or if her entire hometown had been wrong.
For the past seven years, Natalie hadn’t gone a single day without thinking of that one moment of weakness with Thomas, her father’s punishment, and the town’s passing of judgment. Vance was wrong to say what happened didn’t define her. It had done exactly that for seven years. Every decision she’d made was motivated by that singular event. Changing her name, choosing a major, moving as far away as she could, living like a virtual ghost, never making attachments or leaving an impression.
Vance said her strength defined her, but he didn’t understand. “I wasn’t strong then,” she whispered. “When he finally untied me and dragged me back to the basement, I let him. I spent two weeks in a locked room when I knew how to escape. I chose not to.”
All the compassion she had wished for and never seen during those two days on the porch was pooled in Vance’s eyes. “Why? It couldn’t have just been waiting for your birthday.”
“For days and days, I ate the food my mother brought me and then went back to staring at the wall. Graduation came and went while I was locked in there and I didn’t care. I had given up. I thought I would die in that room, that one day my mother wouldn’t bring me meals anymore.” Natalie’s heart squeezed as she remembered those days, the pain she wished she could feel at thoughts of dying. “Part of me wanted it to happen. I wanted to disappear. It seemed like the only way I’d ever be rid of my father and that town.”
The Only Shark In The Sea (The Date Shark Series Book 3) Page 19
