Finally, after his wavering confidence stabilized, he smiled weakly. “Are you De Wuu?”
“Yes,” she responded with an expression filled with shock, denial and a thousand other emotions.
“My name is Adam Roh, and I am so sincerely sorry to meet you under these conditions.”
“He’s not coming back is he?” she stated simply. “That’s why he’s not here now, with his friends.”
“I’m afraid so.”
She looked at him with sudden interest. “And who were you to him, Adam Roh?” she asked.
“We were friends. And in a way, I am responsible for your husband’s death. He was helping me on a mission and I screwed up. If there had been more time…” He trailed off, unable to continue, and then reached for her, pulling her close to him in a tight embrace. She lost control of herself then, sobbing uncontrollably in his arms for what seemed like an hour. In reality, she expended the worst of her negative emotions in the space of a few minutes. The hard part was over… Adam simply waited patiently until she expended the anguish that she needed to get rid of. Finally, she managed to calm herself once more.
After finishing his hug with De Wuu, Adam pulled back from her and reached into his pocket. Studying her youthful, simple beauty even more closely he handed her the steel-mesh necklace with the two crescent moons on it. It was the same one that Tran Wuu had carried into battle on numerous occasions and left in his care, the one with her picture inside. “Your husband wanted me to return this to you,” he informed her, only tentatively meeting her gaze. It was very difficult for him to look her in the eye. “I… I am not a full time soldier. I was new to combat and promised to keep him safe. During our travels, I occasionally acted impetuously, due mostly to my inexperience. The actions leading up to your husband’s death were triggered by one of those impulsive reactions. I am so sorry Mrs. Wuu, I would give anything if I could take it all back and do things over again, this time the proper way…”
She listened to him quietly, one of her younger children embracing her leg tightly while the other kids looked up at him curiously and studied the unfamiliar contours of his face. “Arte Kasik just said that you ended the war,” De Wuu told him in response. “Is that true? Is the fighting somehow miraculously over?”
Again Adam looked at his feet, uncertain as to how much he should tell her about the outside world at this point. “My friends and I have managed to achieve this, yes,” he stated slowly. “After years of fighting, a lot has been accomplished in a short amount of time. And although I led the fight to save the Wasteland, it was the help and support of my own people that allowed me to survive.”
De Wuu reached out with one hand and ran it along the side of Adam’s face, and at first he flinched in response to her tender touch. She just stood there, looking at him with her deep, chestnut brown eyes. “If the war is truly over and our children will be safe, my husband would consider that an even trade,” she said, tight lipped. “And much as it saddens me to agree with him, so would I.”
“I will never forget him,” Adam continued, fighting back tears. “He was the first friend I made upon entering the Wasteland, and his loss almost destroyed my resolve to help end the war.”
Unexpectedly, Janney Stox stepped forward and put a reassuring hand on Adam’s shoulder. Adam hadn’t even seen him approach or begin to listen to their private conversation, but it felt good to have a friend nearby. “We were on a combat mission,” Stox began steadfastly. “This man acted to save people who were being tortured to death. His actions weren’t nearly as impulsive as he might have you believe. He saw people suffering and he acted in defense of them, doing what was necessary to save their lives. Your husband and the rest of us supported him on that mission and we ended up succeeding beyond our wildest dreams. It was a clean operation with minimal casualties. Your husband approved of that mission and volunteered with the rest of us to go… I myself heard him say so. He is with Mott’s Ghost now, resting until you arrive to reunite with him someday.”
De Wuu smiled at Adam. “Then there is nothing to worry about,” she replied calmly. She stepped forward and voluntarily pulled Adam to her in a gentle hug, holding him close while sobbing in soft bursts of emotion, pressing her face tightly against his shoulder. “I do have one thing to ask for,” she said suddenly, pulling back long enough to wipe fresh tears from her eyes with her right arm. “This underground compound is low on supplies, particularly fresh water. We haven’t seen a supply ship stop by in quite some time now. Can you possibly get us the water we need… and perhaps some food too?”
“I can do a whole lot more than that,” Adam promised her, feeling some of his self-confidence slowly returning. “Tell your people to gather up their personal belongings… everything they want to keep.” He pointed toward the room he had come from and the brilliant golden light still emanating from it. “All of you are going someplace safe, to a new home where you will have food, clean clothing and water. You will have as much as you need. None of you will ever be hungry again.”
Planet Tranquility in the Proteus Galaxy…
Adam Roh walked along the thin sidewalk up to the medium-sized, light blue home numbered 820 on the corner of 29th street. He glanced briefly toward the louvered white shutters flanking each window, the ones he had finished painting just prior to beginning preliminary work on the Wasteland project in the Science Lab. A small stream of wood smoke wafted from a brick chimney on the roof, letting him know that his wife was already home. Dozens of various types of brightly colored flowers sprouted from the dark, freshly watered flower beds on either side of a small wooden staircase leading up to the front entrance. He paused on the sidewalk just long enough to glance around at the fresh green lawn, breathe the fresh air, and overall just admire and appreciate what his wife had done with the place during his brief absence.
God, but this kind of family friendly atmosphere almost seems out of place to me now, he found himself thinking. There’s no metal walls, no flickering overhead lighting, no rusty blood stains beneath my feet. He hadn’t realized, until now, just how fast a person could get used to living in hell.
He hesitated once more, knocking on the door instead of going straight in, simply because he loved to hear the sound of running kids’ feet. On this occasion, however, he heard the a dog barking instead. A dog? Seconds later he did hear speedily running feet, right before the door snapped open a couple of inches. Looking down toward the small pair of blue eyes studying him, he smiled at the mop-headed boy watching him. “Hi kiddo,” he said with a wide grin. “How are you doing, Billy?”
“Daddy!” screamed young William with a huge smile. He threw open the door and launched himself into his father’s arms, hugging him tightly and angling his chin so that he could press the side of his face against the base of Adam’s neck. Again there was the sound of a dog barking in the background.
“Just when exactly did we get a dog?” Adam asked imperiously, putting on his best ‘man of the house’ tone of voice. He stepped inside the door and entered the small living room, where a small brown and white cocker spaniel sat looking up at him with puppy dog eyes and big floppy ears. Again the small dog barked sharply at him, causing the little three-year old girl standing next to the wily beast to begin giggling almost uncontrollably as she hopped up and down.
“His name is Tycho, Daddy,” said young Cassidy, dropping to her knees and hugging the small animal tightly. “We just finished feeding him, so you’re just in time to take him for his evening walk.”
“Cassidy honey, I swear, you get more freckles with each passing day.” Adam slowly removed his light jacket and laid it on a small couch. “But seriously, you guys, c’mon? When did we get a dog?” he asked again, more emphatically this time, studying the small creature with genuine interest.
“I got him for you,” said a very familiar voice.
“Did you?” Adam turned to regard his brother Thomas thoughtfully as the younger Roh emerged from the hallway leading to the kitchen.
“Where exactly did you find a dog on this infernally large planet?”
“It’s simply my effort to reciprocate,” Thomas told him in response. “George is very old now, but you got me a cat at a time in my life when things were really, really tough. For a while there I didn’t even think that I was going to make it. George helped me learn to appreciate the good things in life and to take the bad things less seriously. Since you’ve been facing some dark and dirty things in life yourself these days, I figured that having a creature around to adore you would help settle you back into a normal life.”
Leaning over long enough to scoop up the small spaniel, Adam looked into the dog’s deep brown eyes thoughtfully. The animal sniffed his hand and then his face carefully, finally deciding that he approved of this new human. He struggled in Adam’s arms until he found a comfortable spot and then began contentedly licking the side of his face. Both Billy and young Cassie continued to laugh. “Look, he likes Daddy!” said young Cassidy with a beaming, little girl smile. “He likes Daddy a lot!”
Holding the small dog comfortably in his arms, Adam smiled appreciatively at the young innocence of his kids before glancing up toward his brother. “Thanks Thomas,” he said with sincere gratitude. “Thanks a lot. This little guy will add a lot to the family!”
“No problem,” his brother replied, jerking a thumb back toward the kitchen. “Nori is getting dinner ready. She’s hoping that you’re done at the Science Lab for a while. I think she wants you back home for the foreseeable future.” Lowering his voice, he whispered softly. “And I think you’re going to find it very hard to say no to her this time.”
Still petting the small brown and white dog’s head gently, Adam smiled. “I’m not going anywhere,” he replied with a relieved sigh. “All of the hardware has been removed from my body except for the implant. I’m keeping that in place, just like the rest of you have decided to, in case we need to use them again at some point in the future.”
“The extraction procedure sure didn’t take long,” commented Thomas idly. “Wasn’t it scheduled for this afternoon? I expected you to be in surgery for quite a while.”
Adam nodded. “Dr. Simmons is a meticulous note taker and she has lots of experience now. She told me that the process of installing implants on so many of us has given her plenty of practice. The parts that are located well away from the brain are much easier for her to work with – she had me on and off of her surgical table in less than two hours.”
Thomas pointed an index finger sharply in Tycho’s direction. The dog continued to sniff the clothing of its newly arrived owner, eagerly selecting and analyzing each of the various smells embedded there. “Karen gave me the puppy,” he chuckled with genuine amusement. “She’s pulling double duty as a part time veterinarian these days, so she has lots of sources where animals are concerned.”
Leaning down, Adam handed the contented animal to young William. “Why don’t you and Cassie take Tycho for a walk before dinner?” he suggested firmly. “I’ll have plenty of opportunities to watch him, it would seem. So you two walk him tonight and I’ll take him out tomorrow.”
“Okay,” Billy said excitedly. “I like walking him… all the neighbors come out to pet him!”
“I’ll bet they do,” nodded Adam with a cheerful grin. “He’s irresistible.”
The two Roh brothers watched the young children grab a leash and excitedly push past Adam as they moved eagerly toward the door. “Don’t stay out too long!” he cautioned them, sniffing the aromatic scents wafting in from the kitchen. “Your mother will have dinner ready soon.”
“We won’t!” he heard both Billy and Cassidy shout back at him.
Adam took a minute to stretch his arms and then seated himself on the small couch. He leaned back, doing his best to relax, and just sat there staring straight ahead for a few minutes. His thoughts were snapped instantly back to reality when he felt Thomas sit down next to him.
“Are you going to be all right?” his brother asked him curiously.
The elder Roh was silent for a moment before answering. “I think so,” he responded finally, turning slowly to face his brother. “In addition to removing hardware components, Dr. Simmons conducted a brief initial ‘interview’ to determine how my mental faculties are doing.”
“And…?” Thomas was looking at him expectantly.
“So far I have mostly survivors’ guilt,” he told his brother. “And the bad dreams continue. The worst thing is the mistake I made that cost someone their life. It literally hurts inside to know that I’m going back home where everything is normal while Tran Wuu’s wife and her kids try to deal with the enormity of their loss. I know there are a lot of other widows of this war out there too, especially among the Crasel. But if I could change just one single thing about this whole affair…”
“You can’t.” His wife stood in the hallway entrance leading to the kitchen with her arms folded, wearing a cloth, stain-covered apron. “That’s what you’re going to have to make yourself comfortable with, dear. You went into a tough situation and you did your best and not everything turned out perfectly. That doesn’t mean you failed in any way, shape or form. It just means that a flawed, emotional man confronted some of life’s toughest challenges and prevailed. A human being can’t go through something like that without picking up a few psychological scars... it’s not possible.” She stopped suddenly and looked at the two of them suspiciously. “Did you tell the kids to take coats with them before they left?”
The brothers exchanged wary glances. “Yes,” said Thomas at the same instant Adam said “No.”
“That’s what I like about the Roh brothers,” Nori growled with a mildly disgusted shake of her head. “I always get the truth out of you two, whether you want to tell me or not.” She exhaled softly, watching her husband with a kindness and compassion that was usually hard to detect in her expression. “It’s tough now honey, but things will get better. I promise.”
“I would agree,” nodded Thomas with sincerity. “It’s going to be rough for a while Adam, but I went through a rough patch after Earth’s destruction and I know that you can too. Suddenly one day you look up and – wow, it’s ten years later and everything is good.”
“Dr. Simmons wants me to see a psychiatrist!” Adam growled irritably. “Why?”
“You’ll know in a few weeks’ time,” replied Noriana softly. “Right now, there is a lot of emotional baggage floating around in that noggin of yours, honey. You’re going to have to find a way to leave it all behind and move forward with us… your family. You’ve also got a lot of residual memories that are not your own.”
He saw instantly what she was driving at. “Bok’s memories?” He turned toward her and studied her expression before shifting his gaze back to Thomas. “I was hoping that they would fade with time. The information from his mind is easily accessible to me, but not the memories… probably because I never personally experienced them. But they do occasionally flare up. Do you think I will continue to have dreams about him?”
“Possibly.” Nori walked across the sand-colored shag carpeting and gently kissed him on the forehead. “Over time, the specifics of each dream should fade. More than likely you’ll have flashbacks to some of the more intense moments from the past two weeks – the gunfire, the sights and sounds and smells of battle. Dr. Simmons has done a lot of research on this kind of thing and I made certain she found a good psychiatrist who can help you through it. Remember, it was your choice to try and read thoughts out of that creature’s mind.”
“Seeing a psychiatrist is a lot easier than you might think,” Thomas told him. “I still speak with one occasionally and take medication to help with my insomnia. The problem with confronting the larger, unthinkable problems in this life is that many of them change you forever. I could have declined to treat my medical conditions, true, but had I gone down that road I never would have been able to sustain a long-term relationship with Kari, much less have kids with her.”
“Seeing
a Doctor doesn’t mean you’ve changed in a bad way,” his wife commented reassuringly. “It means you went through a really traumatic experience and need help training yourself to live with tough memories.”
“I’ll do whatever I have to do to get back into the smooth flow of civilian life,” Adam declared firmly. “I’m told that part of that will involve periodic visits to check in on the Crasel. They’re going to live in a small suburb on the outskirts of this city where we can interact with them regularly and help them avoid too much culture shock.” He glanced down at the floor and said nothing for a moment. “I can’t see how they can avoid it entirely, though. There is just too much changing in their lives… and it all happened so quickly.”
“Fortunately, most of those changes are for the better,” Nori emphasized. “The civilians will be okay, Adam, but it’s the soldiers – like that man you mentioned earlier at the Science Lab…”
“Janney Stox.”
“Yes.” She watched his reaction carefully as he spoke the name. “People like him are big and tough, used to shrugging off all of their injuries and emotional problems so that they can pick up a gun and fight for their survival and the future of their loved ones. Many of those people, in all of the clans, will have serious anger issues to deal with. They were all basically born and bred to hate each other. You can help them with the healing process. Since they look up to you as the leader who liberated them from the Kuth, many of them will follow the path that you set for them. So even if you don’t totally need to use the medical system to the same degree as they do, your example will encourage them… help them accept the help that many of them are used to denying they really need.”
Adam nodded, realizing instinctively that what she said was true. “I think Janney Stox will be okay. He’s kind of taken to Tran Wuu’s kids and I believe he will work to fill the void left by the loss of their father. Even if he and De Wuu simply remain friends over time, I think they will all function nicely together.”
The Pathfinder Trilogy Page 82
