by S Lawrence
Love,
Momma
I just stare at the words, tears running down my face. My fingers run over the bracelet that I have had on since my feet touched the ground here. Determined...that is what I am. Don’t get me wrong, I am sad, but I am now on a mission. My “dad” better hope he isn’t married with kids because I will destroy him for letting her down. Hell, he better be either dead or in a coma; shit, no, I take that back, please don’t be dead...please don’t be dead. Coma, maybe. I crawl up on the bed and put the note back inside the journal. I can’t believe I hadn’t seen it before. I guess everything happens for a reason. Laying down, I stare at the ceiling. It takes forever for me to drift off but once I do, my night is filled with standing stones, a dark haired man shrouded in the fog just out of reach and a copper-haired lover because, well, who am I kidding, his dark smoky lilt made my panties wet.
I wake to find a sliver of sunlight burning through my eyelids, straight to my retinas. Slowly, I crack open my eyes, squinting, throwing my hand over my eyes. They feel as dry as the Sahara. Blinking, I remember the dreams from the night and can’t help the smile that creeps over my face. I can only imagine what they would be like if I had actually seen his face. Grabbing my phone off the table, I check the time. Shit! It is already almost noon, fucking jet lag. Quick shower, pull my hair up and throw on some jeans, then I’m out the door. First, I must find coffee. I know there must be a Starbucks around here somewhere close.
A few minutes later, one venti caramel mocha with an extra shot and a scone in hand, I begin to wander the streets and shops. Grandmother would be giving me the look, the one that says even my eating is a disappointment, as I inhale the pastry. Oh well, I look down, checking to make sure there isn’t a pile of crumbs on my chest. Not a pile but a few. Dusting them off, I stop outside a shop. In the store window, my gaze lands longingly at a wool skirt that is purple and pink plaid. I have a pair of pink, patent leather, Marc Jacobs peep-toe heels that would look divine with it, easily talking myself into the purchase I step toward the door. Suddenly, all the hairs stand up on my neck, I swivel my head around looking for, well what, I don’t know, but I do know my radar is pinging off the charts. It feels different than last night when I just felt like someone was looking at me a little too hard. This feels dangerous, like the time I almost got mugged. I was walking as fast as I could when I ran smack into some guy, who I then pretended to know, the would-be mugger turned and ran away. I say mugger but let’s get real; he wasn’t there for my wallet. After that day, I have been more aware of my surroundings. I’m proud to say I have taken self-defense and martial arts lessons from a great instructor. One of his lessons, he taught on a street in the French Quarter, showing me how to covertly look for predators, if I felt threatened. Still sweeping the area, I step into the shop, but as I do, I turn towards the window looking out trying to see if I can catch my would-be stalker. Again, I see no one, and I feel silly. Who would be following me? I don’t know anyone here except Connor, and I doubt he is following me around, even if I did break his heart a little, I smile at the thought. Besides, the feeling is gone. Maybe it is just my imagination working overtime.
A few minutes later I leave the shop, plaid skirt in hand. I just couldn’t resist. I scan the area outside just in case. Of course, I don’t see anything, but I hear bagpipes, and I follow the sound. Did I tell you that I love music? Any kind really but I especially love music played on the streets, that’s a Nola native for you. I find the source of the music outside a park in front of a huge statue. It’s an older man, and he has his kilt on. I don’t recognize any of the songs that he plays, but after a while, another man joins him with a drum. The next song I recognize as the song from The Last of the Mohicans. I take out my phone and video it to send to Emma. We used to watch that movie, a lot of time spent wishing to find a man like Nathaniel. She is going to love this. I don’t know how long I stood there listening, but my stomach growling told me it was time to get some more food. I throw some money in the box, which earned me a wink and a ‘thank you lass.' I dig my phone back out to check the time and send the video to Emma, realizing it was already four-thirty. Pulling up the map, I put in the Three Sisters and started walking there. What can I say? The food was really good. Right, Aislin! I am sure it has nothing to do with trying to get another look at Kai. Nope, not one bit, I lie to myself. My phone starts ringing with a video call from Emma.
“OMG, I miss you!” I squeal at her.
“That’s it! I’m getting on a plane; I can’t stand it, I need to be there. Where are you right now?” she asks with excitement.
“Oh, I am heading back to the place I ate last night, to get some food.”
She is looking at me with a speculation on her face. “You aren’t going to try a new place?”
“Umm, no. I really liked the food last night,” I say with hesitation.
“Really?” she asks with a hint of disbelief.
“Yes, really and the atmosphere.” I glance down at her with my eyebrows raised.
“What did you have to eat...that was SO good?” she says, dripping with sarcasm.
“Just a burger but it was great.”
Now her eyes narrow, couple things about Emma you should know. First, she can smell a lie like a bloodhound and second; she is like a Pitbull with a bone, she won’t let go until she gets the truth. She currently has her determined face on.
“Oh look! We’re here.” I turn the camera around as I walk inside. Connor is behind the bar again.
“Och, beautiful girl! You are back. Couldn’t get enough of me I see.” he said with a grin.
“Connor, this is Emma, my best friend. Emma, say hello to the best bartender in Edinburgh.” I introduce them.
After the greeting, I turn Emma back to me. “He’s cute and the food might be great but tell me why you’re really back at the same place tonight.”
“I told you...” I started.
“Beautiful girl came back to try to catch a glimpse of the elusive Kai.” Connor’s smile is unrepentant, as I gave him a withering look.
“And who is Kai?” Emma smirks, sinking her teeth in deeper.
“Kai is a man from the highlands who sings here every great once in a while. He stole her from me last night with his magical voice.” He places his hand over his heart dramatically.
“Should I leave you two alone to discuss this?” I grumble.
Connor slowly saunters away chuckling under his breath. Emma just looks at me, waiting for me to break and spill the beans. I manage to hold out for about a minute, which may be a new record.
“Okay fine! I will tell you.” I proceed to spill my guts. I don’t want her to get her hopes up about me meeting someone. She has been on a mission lately like I’m some old spinster, it’s not like she’s married with kids. Of course, there wasn’t much to spill since all I had was the color of his hair but I did go into great detail about his voice and the effect it had on me. I give her so much information that even Connor blushed a bit, which made me like him even more. I tell her everything except about the feeling of being watched; I don’t want her to worry. We talk a little more; I promise to send her more videos and to call her when I get to the B&B tomorrow night.
“I love you so much!” I say, ending our chat.
“I love you too. Be careful and have fun with Kai.” She hangs up, laughing.
Shaking my head, I wave Connor over. “Can I get a burger, fries and a beer? Oh and Connor, thanks for the ‘help,'” I say with reproach. Looking around I notice a dark haired man with his back to me, I don’t know why I notice him, but I see he is looking in the mirror on the wall watching people at the bar. When I catch his eye later as he leaves, I get a weird vibe, kinda like when you’re in the Quarter, and someone looks at you a little too long, although I haven’t seen him looking at me at all.
Chapter 12
I glance up into the mirror and see her sitting at the bar. I have my back to her so I can watch her, hopefully without notice
. Today I discovered just how in tune with her surroundings she is. She appears to be very street smart, constantly vigilant, while seemingly relaxed. I don’t know what her background is. Could she have had training or is it some innate characteristic of her psyche? She suddenly turns her head, eyes scanning the room and I quickly look down at my phone. I dare not watch her for too long, but I stay, waiting for something to happen, something to give me a clue as to her importance. I am startled by my phone chiming as a text comes in, I was staring at her again. I read the text and frown. He wants a picture. How will I be able to get one with her being so vigilant? Tomorrow, that’s when I‘ll do it. When she is out, I’ll catch her in the crowd. I will hide in plain sight and blend in. With my plan made, I get up to leave. I don’t plan on looking at her but suddenly I am, and she is looking right back at me. Her gaze lands on my eyes and she smiles, but I can see she is unsure, she is questioning whatever it is she is thinking. Breaking contact, I hurry out, angry with myself for being seen. The anger grows as another text comes in asking for the picture. I am tempted to hurl my phone to the ground, stomping it into minuscule pieces. I know I must calm down. I look down at my phone and realize my knuckles are white and I have cracked the case. I send the message back that I couldn’t get it tonight but I will tomorrow. I hurry down the street to my hotel, the one across from hers, and make my way to my room. I sit in the dark, staring until I see her light come on. Her face appears in the window just before she closes the curtains. I grab my computer to make my notes for the day. I don’t know where to start really and sit staring at the screen for what seems like hours. Finally, I begin my report.
FROM: XXX
TO: COUNCIL
REGARDING: UNKNOWN FEMALE
SUBJECT REPORT:
SUBJECT IS UNKNOWN. HER IMPORTANCE IS UNKNOWN, BUT IT MUST BE SIGNIFICANT. SHE SEEMS TO HAVE SOME ABILITIES AND MUST BE WATCHED WITH CAUTION. TWICE SHE SEEMED TO KNOW I WAS WATCHING HER. I WILL FOLLOW MORE DISCREETLY TOMORROW. I SUGGEST NOT APPROACHING UNTIL WE KNOW MORE ABOUT HER ROLE. I HAVE TRIED TO FIND OUT HOW LONG SHE WILL BE AT HER HOTEL BUT THE DESK ATTENDANT WAS NATURALLY RESISTIVE TO MY QUESTIONING. SUGGEST HACKING THE SYSTEM. SO FAR, HAVE ONLY HEARD HER FIRST NAME, WHICH IS AISLIN. PLEASE ADVISE FURTHER ACTION.
I send the report. They will not be happy with the lack of information, but what do they expect? I did not even know of her existence until last night. I had only come to this place because of the bracelet; we felt the power of it. She is not the woman in the photo I have. She could have found the bracelet anywhere. The woman in the photo is beautiful, not to mention she should be older. This woman is beautiful but not in the classical sense. She is exotic but not flashy. As I watch her, with her raven’s wing hair and vivid blue eyes, I was drawn in. I couldn’t stop looking. She exudes a sexuality without realizing it. Quietly reserved, you can just glimpse the fire that she hides away, but she doesn’t invite just anyone in. She was open and animated with her friend on the phone, and I was transfixed. The bartender flirted because he could feel that smolder and I watched her flirt back but only in the polite sense. I could tell her heart wasn’t in it. These observations are not what they are looking for. I shouldn’t even be thinking them. My assignment was to find the bracelet and bring whoever had it, to the council. They will wonder why I have hesitated; I have no answer for them. Tomorrow I will acquire her and the bracelet, taking them north. Lying on my bed, I plan to wake early and grab her as she leaves the hotel.
Chapter 13
It is barely sunrise when I merge onto the highway; I was so excited to start towards the north that I couldn’t sleep. I had packed last night, so after tossing and turning for half the night it seemed, I decided to get up and get going. Today’s destination is Loch Ness and Castle Urquhart. I have reservations at a small B&B, just outside the tiny town. Now, I just have to keep my eyes on the road and not everything around me. I see so many beautiful places to stop along the way. I often wonder why we find things so much more beautiful when we are on a trip. Is it just that we don’t see it every day and we are fascinated by it? I mean really. Are the rolling hills in Scotland more beautiful than the ones at home or is it that when we are away, we pay more attention. I have often driven home and not even remembered the trip at all. There have been times I’ve parked my car in the driveway and I am surprised I’m already home.
Here, nothing crowds my brain. It is just me and my surroundings, I don’t even have the radio on, and the beauty blinds me. Not only of this area or country but of the earth. My brain, which is usually a constant hurricane storm with thoughts swirling and crashing into ideas, is eerily quiet. I picture it like the smooth glassy surface of the loch. I have read about how people have a system in their brains, like on Sherlock when he says he has a mind palace, well I don’t. Mine is more like a swirling vortex of a hurricane, with my memories, thoughts, and ideas written on tiny slips of paper. I reach out, grabbing one, and pray it is the one I want. Sometimes, I get lucky, and one floats gently down to me, although even then, it might not be what I was wanting. But I do find those are the ones I really need in that moment. They are important, crucial to me, and while it might seem like some random thought, I know just what it means. But this place...this place has calmed that vortex. I feel like here, those important slips of paper will float to me. I just have to be patient.
Chapter 14
“FUCK, FUCK, SON OF A FUCKING BITCH! She left before sunrise! What fucking woman gets up and leaves before sunrise?”
My phone dings and I read the message. “No fucking shit! Thanks so much for your god damned help! I know she is leaving today...she is already fucking gone! You stupid assholes.”
Deep fucking breaths. Okay, let’s see if they found her whole trip itinerary or if I just have to follow the bracelet. I send a message, throwing my shit in my bag while I wait for a reply. When it comes, it is all I can do not to kill someone. I leave without checking out; the council can take care of at least that. My Jaguar XKR-S is snarling when I hit the highway; this car is my one tangible vice. It is pure rage, wrapped in metal, growling like it will break out and eviscerate you if you’re not strong enough to control it. It warns you to know that the man driving will do the same. It’s a warning; you should heed it. In seconds, I’m racing toward the bracelet at 150 miles per hour, the speed calming my rage.
Chapter 15
I may have stopped more than I planned along the way, but I couldn’t resist the sheep, cows or even the flowers. Note to self, buy another memory card for my camera. When I checked into the B&B, the owners, Kevin and Edward, who were so adorable together, suggested going to the castle this evening. Apparently, the sunset is very “braw.” Edward explained that meant it was beautiful, after seeing the total lack of understanding on my face. So here I am, walking towards the beautiful ruins. We just don’t have things like this at home.
Pausing, I pull out my phone. I have to make a video of this to send Emma; she will love it. I begin with the camera panning across the horizon, taking in the Loch and the castle. Flipping the view to selfie, I start my walking guided tour for Emma. I am a history nerd, so I’ll be boring her a bit, but she’ll get over it. Telling her all about it, I walk to the tower. Later, I’ll wonder on the fact that I am alone here, but for now I’ll savor the solitude. Getting to the top, I stand in silence, my breath stilled by the view and the feelings coursing through, not just my body, but my soul. I glance back at the camera, “Oh Emma, I get it finally. I feel what she felt. I can’t explain it but...it is like some hole is just suddenly filled.” I am surprised to see moisture gathering on my eyelashes. I sign off with a ‘wish you were here’ and hit send.
I make up great stories in my head, usually when I am trying to go to sleep. But as I sit at the top of the tower, watching the sky turn a brilliant shade of orange, I imagine the Lady of the castle. Only the lady because she has lost her family, fighting against the evil Laird who would force her into marriage and steal her castle. In this story, she is pr
otected by a fierce dragon, one sworn to protect her. I spin my tale as the sun sets until I hear someone calling out to me, “Miss, the castle is closing.”
“I’m so sorry. I was well, lost in the mystique of this place,” I reply in surprise.
“Ach, dinnae fash y’sel! Tis braw fur sure,” the curator remarked, eyeing the vanishing sun.
“Well, I am sorry if I held you up. Thank you again.” I say as I make my way back. I hustle to my car; I hate when you stop for someone, and they stroll along like they got nowhere to be. I mean come on, move like you got a destination for Christ’s sake. Heading toward the village, I realize my stomach is eating my spine. The protein bar I ate hours ago is long gone. First priority find food. Second, wander the shops.
***********
He stood atop the tower long after she was gone. She was glorious. Did she realize she was telling her tale out loud? He liked that her hero had been a dragon. She hadn’t worn the bracelet today, but now that he had gotten close, he would be able to track her anywhere. She smelled of rain and magnolias. He remembered their heady scent from the gardens at Caerhays. Her skin ivory like their blossoms. Her voice like good whiskey. His chest rumbled deep at the thought of her.
***********
After dinner, I strolled along the streets, or I should say street, looking in the shops. I went into an art gallery; the artist was working with glass. I stood for a long time, fascinated by the colors and fire as he turned the piece, shaping it into a beautiful orchid. Finally, turning to look around and see the cutest little Nessie made from a blue-green glass. I have to get it for Aunt Joy. Next I find a purple thistle, with a Celtic knot that I pick up for Emma. I am ready to checkout, but as I walk to the counter, I see a gorgeous carved miniature Castle Urquart, with a glass dragon wrapped around it, just like my daydream from earlier. When I look up, the artist is standing, smiling at me. “I love it. It is exactly what I thought of when I was there today.”
