by S Lawrence
I raise my hand in silence, hoping to stop Kai from his forward momentum. Lips pursed, he stops only when he is close enough to grab her if he thinks I might touch her again. Giving her my full attention, silently demanding her to see the truth stamped on my face, I begin to speak quietly to her. “I know you feel damaged and broken.” Kai stiffens at her small whimper, but I continue, “I know you don't believe me when I say that one day, you will be whole and happy again, but it is the truth. That monster might have done horrible things, but you didn’t allow anything. Chris was not your fault, nor would he wish you to feel that way. You stayed alive.”
Sweeping my arm around, I draw her eyes to those standing around us. “These people, I use that term loosely here, want nothing more than to help you put your pieces back together. I say that you aren’t in pieces. I say, this new you was forged in the hottest fires of Hades and you, my dear, will soon discover the warrior inside waiting to wage your war, beneath the hurt.” Her eyes shift from face to face until they land on the giant cream-colored dragon. His head lowers until his brilliant blue eyes are level with her matching ones.
Chapter 27
Squeezing Jason one more time, I silently thank him, well...for everything. My eyes are locked on the dragon, some part of my mind is freaking the fuck out, but the little girl in me, the one that once looked at every passing man, checking to see if I saw some part of myself in him, that part is locked like a laser beam on the same blue eyes I have seen in the mirror every day of my life.
Movement to my left causes my head to turn, but my eyes hold his until the last moment. I focus on the most beautiful beings I have ever seen, I say beings because somehow, I recognize that they are not human. They are too much, too everything. I feel like when you look at the sun, and you have to look just to the side of it; not to say they shine, it’s just, I don’t know glorious.
One steps toward me, holding out her hands. I couldn’t help but reach for her. “I am Morrigan.” She says it like someone would say ‘Hey, my name is Brittney’, no big deal. That hurricane in my brain comes quickly to a standstill, and the folktale replays word for word. Frozen in wonder, I could only stare. “I’m sorry you had to leave your mother, sorrier that this awful thing happened to you, but we’re here to help, along with Kai.”
Her voice is like music, but my heart aches at the mention of momma. Somehow, I manage to squeak out, “THE Morrigan? The Goddess Morrigan?” I can hear the tinge of hysteria in my voice. Honestly, it is a little much, don’t you agree? Yeah, too much. I glance back to those blue eyes. The Guardians, the portal, the bracelet, so many things are falling into place.
Turning, I take a single step toward the cream-colored dragon. “Faolan?” I barely whisper.
I feel my legs giving out. I’m hot, holy shit, I will not faint like some, well, girl. Bending over, I suck in huge breaths. Laughter explodes out of my mouth and in moments, I’m cackling like some deranged hyena. It was his scent that reached my senses first. Spice and cloves, a hint of sandalwood with an overall muskiness that has my laughter tapering off. I know it’s Kai without even looking. Then he is talking, and all that warm whiskey flows over me. I straighten, pulling the sheet, or whatever it is, tighter around me. “I’m sorry, I ran from you.” I apologize even when I want to run again. He feels so important, has since the first night but now, I know I am shaking my head no. He reaches for me but I step back, narrowly missing his hand and I can see his hurt. His hand hangs in the air for a moment before slowly falling back to his side.
Chapter 28
I can tell the material is hurting her. Her movements have caused some of the deeper wounds to reopen, and a growl vibrates my body as I see, and smell the fresh blood. I want to go to her, pull it from her body but instead, I take a deep breath, counting, trying to steady myself so I can be strong for her. I take one step her way with my hands held out, “I’m not going to touch you, Aislin.” I like the way her eyes flare at her name on my lips. She isn’t as broken as she thinks. “I just wish to introduce you to your father.”
Her gaze jerks to Faolan. Biting her lip, she wrings her hands together. She knows it is truth. I’ve never heard a dragon purr, but Faolan did, as she reached hesitantly for his muzzle. Jerking her hand to a stop a mere inch from him, her eyes bounce to Jason’s face, and he nods his head. Jealousy is an ugly creature that rears its head at the thought of her needing Jason’s reassurance; I would like to punch the smirk off his mug but don’t want her to feel sorry for him. When I emerge from my fantasy, I’m amazed to find her standing with her forehead resting on Faolan’s snout. Danu and Morrigan are smiling.
“Kai, we’ll leave you to explain and translate for Faolan. As far as your call to war, it must be discussed further,” Danu says with an air of authority.
They shift away as I turn back to find Aislin looking at me with confusion. “War?” she asks, with a look that brooks no deceit, while I struggle to find the words. Jason had no such problem.
“Yeah, Kai called the Guardians to war to avenge you, while you were, visiting your mom.” Both of our mouths fall open in shock. Faolan snapped his mighty jaws at him, just missing Jason as he jumps away.
“Could you give us a few minutes? If you could just wait with your father, I’ll be right back to explain everything I can,” I say, grabbing Jason's arm and drag him towards the portal. I ask, no, tell him to get the fuck out of here and to please check on the druids. I make plans to meet him later, on the other side, to discuss what he has found out about the Order of Sceach and where the headquarters might be.
Chapter 29
I’m touching an actual mother fucking dragon. Like, a living breathing, possibly purring, dragon. Let’s gloss over the fact that I just met an ancient freaking Goddess or should I say two and I’m currently petting a dragon, who is my, um father? Like Emma said, if we’re willing to take one leap of faith why not take another. I turn slowly, looking at this place. This other what? Dimension? World? I don’t even know. It is beautiful in a foreign type of way. I don’t even know how to describe it. It has a blue sky, but there are three moons in it, giving enough light for it to seem like day. Maybe it is the day. I wonder if there is night here. Everything is just a little more, like the grass is grass but greener and thicker. It seems to shimmer like gossamer wings of a dragonfly.
I’ve made a complete circle and am once again staring at this mammoth dragon. He hasn’t spoken or can he even speak? I am assuming, which you know what that makes, that’s right an ass outta you and me, he can change to a man? I mean I’m pretty sure my mom described a man, not a dragon. I’m almost positive I would’ve noticed a description of a dragon. So, I stare, and he stares back, for how long I’m not sure, but suddenly, a puff of smoke shoots out of his nose.
I’m sure my current expression is like a cartoon, where the character is blinking extremely slow right before either 1) they lose it or 2) they dissolve in laughter. I am on a precipice, and honestly, it could go either way. Then I hear Puff the Magic Dragon playing in my head and a giggle bubbles up. I can feel more, the kind you’re trying to hold in and your nose is flaring from the deep breaths you’re huffing in. Just as quickly, it breaks free, and I’m laughing like a lunatic again, tears streaming down my face. My only coherent thought is that I’m a single leap from a one-way ticket to the looney bin.
I have always wondered at the heroine in romance books that find out their lover is something “other” and she is just like, oh, okay that’s cool, you know, no biggie. I mean it really is a biggie. Like moments ago, I was napping. I had thoughts that maybe druids were real in the most benign sense of the word, now I’m somewhere, and there’s all this.
He is moving towards me, Kai, stalking closer. Now that I can study his face with a slightly calmer mind, I lose my breath. God, he is magnificent. I can’t help but shrink back though, he is huge, and a warrior in every sense of the word. I look up, yes up, at his face. I am a solid five foot nine, and I can’t remember the last time I
had to bend my neck back to see a man’s face. He must be well over six feet and appears to be solid muscle, the tight t-shirt he’s wearing, not capable of hiding the eight pack underneath.
Chapter 30
Kai is distracted by her long inspection of his body. Clearing his throat, he sees her gaze fall to the ground, glancing at Faolan for help as he struggles for words. Finally, I decide just to begin. "Aislin?" Her eyes stay glued to the grass, so he forges ahead. "Well, I am sure you have a lot of questions." Her face is the equivalent of an eye roll when she brings her face up to his. "Okay, you're right that's probably an understatement, but before we get started, I would like to look at your wounds." Her head is shaking no before he even finished speaking. She is backing away; the sheet clutched so tightly her knuckles are white. He is about to try to convince her when Morrigan appears.
*********
I screech. There is no other way to put it. But in my defense, the Goddess just poofed in the right beside me. I can still feel my head shaking because I can't let him see the damage. One look and he'll know my shame, all the things that monster did to me. Just like that, I am back in the room. A cool hand touches my shoulder, and I flinch, jerking my face to prepare to fight but it is her ethereal countenance, not my personal demon. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I can't seem to stop, my body is shaking, and I am breathing way too fast.
She pulls me to her, seemingly unaffected by my resistance. I'm glad of it once her arms come around me a certain peace is found, as she murmurs in my ear. I bury my face in her neck, the tears once again flowing from my eyes. She is talking to Kai and my father, but my overloaded brain is unable to process the words.
Suddenly, it was like the drop on a tall roller coaster, causing me to gasp, then it was over. When I dared to raise my head, we were somewhere else. When I say somewhere else, I mean it could have been anywhere in the universe for all I know, but it was resplendent, I don't mean a temple or even a mansion. It was just a little house looking out at a churning sea, but something about it was just so magnificent. She lets me out of her embrace, only to take my hand.
Gently, she pulls me to the door and crosses the threshold. Inside is the many mementos of a hundred lifetimes. "This is my sanctuary, I come here to remember but also to forget when it is all too much. When I have lost too many," she smiles a little sadly as she looks around the room. "I thought, if you would like, I can help to heal the marks upon your body. There is nothing I can do for your soul, but maybe this place can bring you a small amount of peace."
I feel the tears welling in my eyes, and I hate that I want to cry again. Swallowing repeatedly I ask her quietly, "What if there is no peace for me?"
Holding out her hands she leads me to an opulent bed. She looks a little embarrassed by it. “It is my one vice,” she confesses, chuckling under her breath. I sit on the side not knowing if I can force my body to lay down. She moves across the room.
********
I look at this girl, battered and beaten. I give her a choice, waiting for her to decide. I remember Beathag and how many months it took her to recover from the mental trauma, but this woman is stronger. It will take time and a special person to show her, her strength. I gather the salve I need to put on the wounds, the ointment does nothing for it is the magic that heals, but I find humans need to see something, rather than just believing, no matter what they have already witnessed. Turning back to her, I feel great pride in this girl. She is laying down with the sheet draped over her. As I near her, I watch as her body tenses. "Child, you need never worry about what others may think. Do you know who I am, the legend they attach to me?"
She nods but whispers quietly, "Not everything."
I ponder my next step, knowing that my seeing the marks on her body will be the hardest part for her. Carefully, I suggest, “Why don’t I tell you my story while I tend your wounds?” A look of gratitude appears on her face as she slightly nods her head in silent agreement. So, I tell her the tale of my people and how I became The Morrigan, Goddess of War.
Chapter 31
In the beginning…
"Where we came from isn't important, what we came from is what matters. The what is a river that shapes us. We are from a planet of clans, which had warred for thousands of years, which still war to this day. The separate clans rarely had contact, but there were those few younger members that came together with the same beliefs. They believed that it was time to stop fighting. They no longer even know why they fought. Danu, my mother, was one. She had met my father, who came from another clan and fell in love. They were young and hopeful. Others, not only from their two clans but many of the clans, joined them. They grew to know that peace would never come to their world, so they began to plan. They knew time was limited, that they would be found out, punished and separated. They made their plan to leave the planet and began to gather supplies. Things to take them to their new home.
It was a daunting task for many reasons. One being they could only sneak a little bit away at a time so as not to get caught. Then the unthinkable happened. Me. A baby to be born of two clans. One clan, who only fought when forced, joined to the spirit of the planet, whose gifts centered around life. The other, relished war, called for blood, whose warriors were legendary throughout all the clans.
It was decided to move the timetable forward. Adjusting the plan, so that they would all, at one time on the same day steal all of the remaining items for the journey. As the day drew near, suspicions were growing. Clan elders had begun to notice, not only items missing but also the amount of time the younglings were gone from the group. The day finally dawned, those that were leaving began their final scavenge. One clan was known for their skill at manipulating, what humans know as wormholes, portals. The portals here on earth are just minuscule versions of those we use to travel through the galaxy. They had a young man, Hermes, from that clan waiting at a portal for them. They don't know how the elders found out what they were doing that day, but as they raced towards Hermes and the portal, the alarm went up throughout the clans.
Danu ran hand in hand with my father, Odin. As warriors from every clan chased them, it was Odin and others from his clan that fought. Odin with his spear protected my mother. They lost many that had joined with them in the battle for their new life. It was only Hermes' skill that prevented those that would not only stop them but kill them from following. For what they did was considered a grave unfaithfulness to their clans. They ran from portal to portal until they reached your earth.
Humans were just starting to realize that the world was bigger than the small area they lived in. You have to understand; they didn't come here to be Gods, on their world everyone had magic. They weren't exceptional in their abilities; it was their ideas that set them apart.
They arrived here upon the Earth more powerful than any other beings. You, humans have a saying "Power corrupts; Absolute power corrupts absolutely." It is a tale older than time. Danu watched as the man she loved changed, turning more like the clans of the old world with every worshipper. It wasn't just Odin, it was others too, and before long they had divided. Each choosing a different area to settle. Danu and those seeking peace settled here in an area now called Scotland and Ireland. The others settled around the world. If you have studied mythology, then you have more than likely said their names.
You may be wondering about me; I was born here in these Highlands. I am known as a Goddess of war, but I also was once considered a triple Goddess. Death, life, and birth. My skills in battle come from my father and my value of life from my mother. She has left the Highlands and the warriors to me, retreating to the Vanishing Isle. I did fight alongside the warriors, but I also made sure they had a good death. Now, I visit both my parents, help my highland warriors wherever they fight in the world, appearing to them on the battlefield to bring them courage and comfort. When they return to these land with their minds broken from the horrors of war, I do what I can to ease their suffering. That is how I came to know your druids, Sean an
d Michael."
I sit in the chair beside the bed. The entire time I've spoken, I've been sending healing energy into Aislin's body. The wounds are closed, no longer weeping blood. I could've made them completely disappear, but I believe being able to see them fade from her body will help her spirit along with its healing path.
“They aren’t my druids,” she states, clearly looking me in the eye, daring me to disagree.
Leveling her with an admonishing look, I speak kindly but forcibly. “Their brother died in the room with you. They have claimed you, you will not dishonor his memory, or their loyalty, by denying it.” Aislin gasps as if struck. “My child, I do not speak to hurt you, you must understand that you are not the only one who lost something in that room. They lost a brother. Seeing both of your bodies, they knew exactly what had happened. They will give their souls to protect you now, not to mention what your father and Kai have lost.”
Chapter 32
I look at Morrigan; I can tell that my face reflects my anger. I don't want to think of Chris or what others have lost. If I do, I have to admit what I lost. "And just what did Kai lose?" I snap at her, which is probably not the greatest idea. Like any wounded animal, I’m lashing out at the one that is trying to help me.
Sighing, she looks at me in sympathy. “What do you know of my Guardians?”
My mind shifts back to momma's journal, I want to roar my outrage, since it is what brought me to this point. Suddenly, a sparrow lands on the window seal, Morrigan tilts her head in confusion and then understanding as see stares at it. I close my eyes to the sight because I know what that sparrow means. Licking my lips, I begin to speak. "I know you made them protect your children from humans; that they were joined to a dragon's soul."
