After taking a fifteen-minute break, Ms. Pearl returned to the stage with even more vigor. I couldn’t keep still, was swaying from left to right. Her voice was so rich. The white men seemed to gaze at her in awe. I knew after her final rendition, Okeh Records would rush to sign her up. Simon enjoyed the music too. But at times, he was standing near the bar as if he was hoping to run into someone. Adam and his date were quiet. They didn’t seem to have much in common; she slid motionlessly into his arms staring straight ahead as if she was bored. I was certain it was just a date of convenience because he had been gawking at me all night. We stayed until Ms. Pearl sang her last song.
When the show was over, Simon came back to the table and assisted me with my coat. “You leaving?” Adam asked.
I turned to answer him, but Simon answered first. “The show is over.”
Adam grinned. Then he helped his date with her coat.
It was strange leaving at the same time as Adam and his date. As we followed the crowd exiting the club, I sensed something strange. I looked over my shoulder and in the corner was Herman Camm’s twin staring straight at me with a wide smile on his face. It scared me, so I pointed him out to Simon.
“That man is not paying you any attention, Carrie.”
“He is, I promise you,” I said, attempting to convince him. Instead, he shook his head in disbelief.
Adam was behind us and overheard me trying to convince Simon of Herman’s presence. He reached down and touched my hand without Simon ever noticing. Then he said to Simon, “Man, that cat was smiling at Carrie.”
Simon didn’t say a word. He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the door and down the cobblestone sidewalk. I turned around and Adam was standing with his date, watching us scurry down the street.
Chapter 2
Late one evening as we were settling down, Simon announced he was leaving to play ball. It was in the heart of winter. I peered out the window at the dull sky and snow flurries, the moon hidden behind the clouds leaving an anvil silhouette for the imagination. Thoughts were bouncing around in my head. Where on earth does anyone play ball in this weather? I opened the front door, stuck my head out and sniffed the moist scent of snow in the air. At first the snowflakes began to fall and melt on the ground, and now a blanket of snow was covering the street and tree limbs. Simon assured me he was headed down south where the weather was mild, and they played baseball all year round.
“We are heading to New Orleans to train with the colored boys down there. Folks around here say they are good baseball players. Some people think them boys are better than we are,” Simon said, sitting on the bed vigorously stuffing clothes into his duffle bag.
I wanted to believe him. He loved baseball and lived it every day of his life. I had to listen to stories about how Pete Hill had hit more home runs than any white baseball player. He said Pete, a leftie, often tricked his opponents by hitting with either hand. A baseball powerhouse is what they said about him. Simon also talked about Rube Foster and how he was making it right for coloreds. He said the National Negro League was taking off and the white baseball players were finally respecting the colored talent. Besides, Rube Foster was the best player ever. When he talked about it, his eyes lit up and a smile would fill his face from ear to ear. He loved the game of baseball and didn’t mind talking about it to anyone who would listen But Ms. Pearl, and Nadine, my chocolate and beautiful neighbor overly fascinated with Simon, said they had seen him when I thought he was out of town.
I stood watching him pack, moving with him around the bedroom. “People say you are in town when you say you are out of town playing ball.”
He stopped stuffing clothes in the bag and stood straight up and shook his head. “Carrie, ain’t no way they saw me. I was out of town with the team. I just don’t understand why people will make up lies. You know they are jealous of us.” He stuffed a pair of trousers into the duffle bag. Nadine might be jealous with a childish crush on my husband, but there was no way Ms. Pearl, with all her fame, was jealous of me. She was living her dream as a singer, and everybody knew her. They even said she was better than Bessie Smith. There was no reason to be jealous of us.
I shook my head. “I just don’t see people mistaking you for somebody else, Simon. You stand out in a crowd.”
“I’m not the only tall man around, you know!” he argued, agitated by the inferences.
“You are right about that,” I agreed. However, Simon was tall and muscular and with one glimpse, people knew he was an athlete. He had absolutely no fat on his body, just lean muscle. He stood out amongst most of the puny men in the community. He was the only athlete anybody talked about in Jackson Heights, where we lived. And most everybody knew him.
“There is a cat that comes to the club, people think looks exactly like me. But I don’t think so.”
I smacked my lips, and sat down. “Do you remember the time when I came home early and Nadine was sitting at my kitchen table?” He nodded his head yes. “You were supposed to be out of town then too.” He glanced over at me, swallowed and took a step backward. I knew I had struck a raw nerve then. His mood changed. The frowns were lining up across his forehead.
He raised his voice and attempted to explain. “I had just got in! Nadine saw me put the key in the door and ran across the street. I didn’t know what she wanted! Something is wrong with that woman, I tell you!” All the while he was talking, I noticed the frowns increasing on his face, and the way he forcibly stuffed clothes in the bag. He was upset!
I was determined to get an answer along with a reaction. “Simon, please don’t lie to me,” I pleaded. “We have been honest all this time. Now is not a good time to start lying.”
I could tell he was unsettled, although now he was forcing a smile. Simon slid over on the bed and put his arm around my shoulder. “I am not lying to you, girl. I love you. Now stop listening to everything people around here say. These folk don’t want to see you happy.”
I softened, and believed him. He had been there for me ever since the first time I’d met him in Jefferson County. I remembered how my heart fluttered at the sight of him. He was a gentleman and very patient with me. The times when we were alone and snuggled in each other’s arms, he could have convinced me to give in to the passion; instead he was patient. He’d taken care of me in many ways, and accepted my bastard son as if he was his own. There was no reason to doubt him now. Besides, Nadine would definitely lie. She was no more than the neighborhood tramp to me, who couldn’t keep her eyes off my handsome husband. I remembered how she’d questioned me the first week I was in town. She had come over to my house for a cup of sugar, and instead had questions for me. “Why did you come to Richmond? It is not like the country,” she’d said. I had gazed her directly in her eyes and answered, “I came to be with my husband.” She’d tooted her lips up, glanced at my husband, stared directly at him, and allowed lust to overtake her. She was trying my patience.
I watched Simon tuck his dress trousers into the duffle bag with a matching shirt, and then he glanced around at me. He added underpants, long johns, and more than enough clothes to last for several weeks. Outside, snow clouds were hanging low in the gray sky, and the wind was twirling around the few leaves left shivering on the barren trees. And he was going to play baseball in the wintertime…
It wouldn’t be long before I, too, would be leaving for school. I had enjoyed the sabbatical away from Petersburg, which was almost as boring as Jefferson County. The time away had given me an opportunity to bond with my son who was precariously walking around and picking up things only a fine eye could see. Little Robert watched his daddy fill up the duffle bag. At times he pulled on Simon’s trousers to get his attention. “I’ll be back, little man,” he told him, patting him on the head. He smiled and reached for Simon who was folding a long-sleeved shirt and stuffing it in the bag. If it is so mild, then why is he carrying so many winter clothes with him? I wondered.
Once he was done, he picked up Robert and sat him on his
lap. “I am going to take Robert downstairs to Mrs. Hall’s house. She’s been asking about him.”
He wrapped Robert in a heavy blanket. Down the steps they went to Mrs. Hall’s with Robert balanced on his shoulders, and Robert smiling all the way. Robert loved it when he carried him that way, and would often fake a cry when Simon put him down. I went into the bathroom to freshen up. I searched under the basin for my sponge and soaked it in a few drops of vinegar and water. I had to be careful not to use too much vinegar since it would burn my skin. I wrung out the excess water and inserted the sponge deep inside of me.
Simon came back up the steps singing. Across the street in the dark, Nadine was on the porch and waving while the wind was blowing her hair astray. She was a pathetic excuse for a mother, I thought. She did anything to get the attention of a man, especially Simon. If it meant catching a cold from being in the wintery weather, it didn’t matter. Simon waved at her and yelled, “You had better go inside; it is cold out here.”
“I know,” she hollered back. “I just wanted to speak to you. I haven’t seen you in a while.” She stood with her hands on her hips, while the wind lifted her dress above her knees.
“I am on the way back out,” Simon yelled back at her.
“Be safe, and hurry back,” she said, flipping her hair out of her face. “Take care of yourself. When will you be back?”
“I’m not sure,” he said and came into the house. I glanced out of the window and Nadine was still standing outside, the wind blowing her dress and her curls, the snow flurries sticking onto the porch. Her balusters were already snow covered.
Simon quickly sealed up his bag. Leaning it against the door, he pulled me by the hand and led me into the bedroom. He gazed into my eyes, and then started to undress himself. He quickly removed his shirt, showing the hairs on his muscular chest. He unbuttoned his trousers and they fell to the floor. I knew what to expect. He removed my blouse and exposed my heavy breasts. Afterward, he took off my skirt and panties; they toppled to the floor. Flames from the fireplace lit up the room. The coal furnace was a great source of heat, but it was cozy watching the sparks from the burning wood dance in the air. With the lights off, it was a beautiful sight. Instead of getting into bed, we decided to lie in front of the fireplace, on top of a quilt Momma had made. He started caressing me. My body twitched, and all of a sudden, I was hot all over. He kissed me and pushed the bulge in his shorts against me. When he began to kiss my neck, I could feel the warmth take over my limbs, and the sweat pop out of my skin. At the moment his tongue traveled down from my collar bone to my stomach, I was squirming. I ran my hands up his back and massaged his shoulders as his tongue explored my body. When he turned me over to enter me, I thought about the sponge I had inserted. I didn’t ever want him to know I used it. When our bodies connected, I moaned like it was my first time. Oh what a night!
I was completely still. My breath stabilized as I watched him go into the bathroom and return with a wash towel. When he gave it to me, I smiled and stretched out on the quilt butt naked. After cuddling bare for a while, I decided to put on one of my house dresses.
“You gon’ be all right?” Simon asked, buttoning up his shirt.
“I’m fine.” I picked up my clothes from the floor on the way to the bathroom. I dislodged the sponge, washed it, wrapped it in a wash cloth and stuffed it way back in the corner of the pine cabinet underneath the sink. I returned to the bedroom where Simon was sitting on the bed, and flopped down beside him. I hesitated before asking one last time, “Why are you leaving in the heart of the winter? Baseball is played in the spring and summer.”
Simon answered quickly, without even looking at me. “We are going down south to play because it is warm there. It is damn near sixty-five degrees at night folks say.” I noticed he‘d packed more winter things than warm weather clothing.
“It just doesn’t sound right. Nobody leaves their family in the winter.”
Simon was shaking his head back and forth, and then he exploded, “Woman, why can’t you get this in your head? I love baseball!”
“You don’t need to get loud,” I said. “It just doesn’t make sense to be playing out somewhere in the cold weather when your family is home in the warmth. Do you see the snow falling out there?” I pointed out.
The frowns in his forehead disappeared. “Remember I will be back in a few weeks. Meanwhile, go to school and concentrate on your schoolwork. Before you know it, I will be opening the front door.”
There was something about our conversation that didn’t feel right. A cold chill traveled throughout my body. Either it was my nerves or my intuition telling me he was lying again. Nobody with any sense would be traveling down south or anywhere in the snow. Even down south the men took a break in the wintertime.
It was cold, snowy, and pitch-black when Simon got into his car. I waved at him from the front door and threw him a kiss, not knowing where he might lay his head.
Chapter 3
My momma stepped through the door two days after Simon left. She came wagging an oversized leather suitcase packed full to capacity with enough clothes to last more than a month. It was as if she already knew Simon was on the road, or had seen him somewhere. She was all wrapped up and shielded from the wind. She had a red scarf she had knitted wrapped tight round her neck, a man’s hat on her head, and thick stockings tied in a knot above the knee. She had on the old folks’ comforts she had ordered from New York that came above her ankles, almost like boots. She was country for sure, and everyone could tell. She knocked on the door, and when I cracked it open, she was standing on the porch kicking the snow off her shoes. Coming inside, she set her suitcase down on the floor and slid it into the corner of the kitchen. She stood up, stretched her back, took off her coat and scarf and handed them to me. I hung them up on the coat rack and proceeded to pour her a cup of coffee, which had been keeping warm on the stove. “Not too much,” she said, demonstrating with her hand the amount. Before she took a sip, she searched the kitchen with her eyes as if she was expecting someone else to be there. I really didn’t know what caused her to do that, but shortly afterward, while sipping her coffee and watching the smoke billow in the air, she paused as if she had a sudden thought. She peered straight into my eyes with a serious stare, which made me a little uncomfortable.
“I’m here to help you, Chile. I know how hard it is to manage without a man ’round to do things for you. Ever since my husband died, I’ve had to do all the thinking around the house.” I wondered if she was spooked or something. She acted as if she knew something bad and I desperately needed her help.
I smacked my lips and before she noticed, I smiled. “I think I manage okay when Simon’s gone, Momma…ain’t that right, Robert?” Robert looked up at me with his beady little eyes and grinned. The two teeth he had in his mouth gleamed like shiny pearls.
“Whether you admit it or not, you need help,” she said. “No woman needs to be living in a city like this without her husband. Do you even know these people around here?” I hesitated to answer her because I really loved being in my neighborhood and around the people. It was a colorful community, and everybody spoke and welcomed you. There was a beauty salon around the corner, a butcher down the street, a school a block over, and a church or two within walking distance. It was a fully serviced community. And, it was the place I had envisioned when I was in Jefferson County.
I shook my head no. “I know my neighbors. Everybody around here seems to be real nice.”
“Does that woman still live over yonder?” Momma said, nodding her head toward Nadine’s house.
“Are you talking about Nadine?” I asked, only to agitate her more. I could tell our conversation was turning sour. Nadine was not someone I wanted to think about.
“That floozie who is always chasing after yo’ husband… you know who I’m talking about,” she said matter-of-factly with her head tilted to the side waiting for me to comment.
“She is still across the street,” I replied.
“You know you need to watch her. She is one who no woman should trust. She is just like Pearl Brown.”
“Momma, you are so different these days,” I said, listening to her blurt out these things.
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“You used to be quiet. Now you are saying things about people you would have slapped me in the mouth for mentioning.”
“Well, it is the truth. I haven’t said anything I am ashamed of yet, Chile,” she commented, with a sly yet serious grin on her face.
“Momma, I don’t really want to talk about Nadine. She’s just a neighbor and not a friend. I’m not worried about her, and furthermore, I don’t know much about her.”
“You should worry, Chile, and keep yo’ eyes wide open too. That woman is dangerous, I tell ya. I would make it my business to get to know her.”
I struggled to keep quiet so I bit my bottom lip and just listened to Momma talk, even though I had something I really wanted to say. I got up from the table, and inhaled to get my nerve up. “Momma, you just got here. Isn’t there something else to talk about other than Nadine? How is everybody doing in Jefferson?” I said, changing the subject.
Momma sucked her lips and released a sigh. She cleared her throat, and then asked me to sit back down. She turned toward me and gazed straight into my eyes. It was an intimidating stare, so I looked away. “I am old enough to say whatever I want to. I never raised you to be disrespectful, and I ain’t taking it now. I was just giving you a bit of wisdom. You should listen and keep any sassing to yo’self. You know better. Don’t you let being up here in the city make you no fool, Chile.” Her words sucked away my courage.
I quickly got in line. I had said way too much and knew it. “I’m sorry, Momma,” I apologized.
Momma didn’t say anything. Instead, she shook her head. “I am going in the back room, unpack and put my grandson down for a nap.”
Cranberry Winter Page 2
