by Ella Miles
His hair is disheveled. He usually styles his hair in a purposefully tousled way. He’s got the perfect bed hair down. But this is more. It’s not styled. Just messy. It matches the chaos in his eyes.
He looks like a disaster, but despite whatever he went through to make him look like this, his mouth and body don’t give away any distress.
He hasn’t said anything since entering the room. He puts his hands in his pockets, most likely to remind himself he can’t touch me.
I let go of the sheets and toss them down to my waist. Caspian both scares me and electrifies me. His eyes travel to my breasts, and I ache for more. I see the promise in his eyes, that he will do more if I say the word.
I don’t.
I won’t give in to his steamy stare. He saved me, but I’m still not free. I will never let a man touch me again until I’m free.
“What happened?” I ask, after several minutes pass of nothing.
He stares, and I see everything. It was bad. Blood everywhere. But he’s used to seeing blood and death. The same as me. He lost someone. Not a close relative or friend, but someone he was responsible for. He never fails.
I see it all in his eyes. I’m used to not being able to read people, but Caspian reads like an open book. I’m not sure if I’m not usually observant, or if I prefer not to know. Because if I were able to read the people in my life, I wouldn’t like what I found.
Caspian doesn’t answer, except with his eyes.
“What do you want with me, Caspian? Let me go. Let me call my family.”
He doesn’t answer. He stares at me. His jaw eventually ticks familiarly. He does it to hide his real emotions. Because he doesn’t want people to know what he’s feeling. But I notice.
“Seven more days,” he says.
I stare at him, trying to decipher the meaning of his words. He’ll let me go in seven days, or he can finally touch me in seven days? He doesn’t clarify.
“What do you want with me, Caspian?” I half whisper, half scream.
I expect a smirk or a half-hearted grin. I expect him to think of some deliciously, naughty thing he wants to do to me that I only get a hint of in his eyes.
I get none.
His mind doesn’t leave the room. His thoughts stay in the present. And his quietness scares me more than any dirty thoughts ever could.
“Nothing, I should have never taken you,” he says so quietly, I’m not sure he said it.
Caspian turns and walks out, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I will never admit my thoughts turn dirty when it comes to him. That Caspian stars in my fantasies. It’s just because I’ve been without a man for so long. It has nothing to do with the man, and it has everything to do with me.
One day left.
Days left in my month is how I keep track of time. It’s better than counting seconds, like I was doing before at Dante’s.
My body wants to spend the day in bed. It’s so comfy, and even though I’ve healed tremendously in the last month, I still have a long ways to go. Another day in bed would do my body good.
I won’t lie around my last day though. I need to get up and out. I need to enjoy my last day, if it is, in fact, my last day of ‘freedom.’
I stretch, before moving to the edge of the bed. I’m wearing pajama pants and a tank top. I consider changing, but I’m not allowed out of the house except to sit out on the deck, so there is no reason to change. I brush my teeth and comb my hair, which finally has all the knots out of it. And then I walk to the kitchen, smelling the delicious french toast cooking on the stove.
I pour myself a cup of coffee, before Michi realizes I’m awake.
“Wow, I wasn’t sure you knew how to get out of bed for breakfast,” Michi says.
I smile softly as I lift the coffee to my lips. I don’t know what Michi does to the coffee but every time is different and mouthwatering.
I take a sip. “Mmmhmm.”
Michi lifts an eyebrow as he holds a spatula in his hand to flip the toast.
“Good?”
I nod. “Delicious as always. Where is this roast from?”
“Hawaii. I thought you deserved a bit of a vacation. And since you can’t go to Hawaii, I thought I would bring a tiny part of Hawaii to you.”
“Thank you. Is that french toast?” I ask with too much excitement in my eyes and voice.
He nods. “Your favorite.”
I bite my lip. French toast was never my favorite. It’s always too sweet. But anything Michi makes has quickly become my favorite.
I glance out at the sunlight covering the deck. I want to eat outside, but I want to talk more with Michi first. I glance around the small house and open my ears as best I can, trying to hear if Caspian is here.
“Caspian is at work; you have the house to yourself,” Michi says.
I stare up at him incredulously. He can read my mind as easily as I can read the word on the side of the coffee cup.
Buona giornata; “have a good day” in Italian.
I warm. I will have a good day, whatever awaits me. It will be good.
“I put a copy of Treasure Island out on the deck for you to read.”
“Thank you.” Michi has gotten me countless books since I’ve been here. They are always amazing. Books about adventure or travel. Never about love or family. He’s careful with the books he chooses for me. He makes sure they are enjoyable, without reminding me of anyone I might miss.
I drink more of my coffee while Michi cooks. I usually eat my breakfast in bed, and then come out and talk to him for lunch. We never talk about anything serious. He takes my mind away from my life, but I’m running out of time if I want to know anything about Caspian.
“What is it like to work for Caspian?” I ask. I rarely even say his name in front of Michi, so it’s weird to say it now.
“He’s a good employer. I’m happy, and he’s more than generous.”
“You live here all the time?”
He nods. “I like the seclusion. I’ve only taken a handful of vacations in the five years I’ve worked for him.”
“Are you allowed to leave?”
He chuckles with his back to me as he flips my french toast. He finally turns back. “Of course I can leave, Gia. I’m not a slave. How do you think I get this tasty coffee and french toast for you?”
I blush. “What can you tell me about Caspian? How did he get into the security world? Does he date? Does he have any family nearby?”
Michi freezes. “I don’t think I should talk about Caspian’s personal life. Any questions you have about Caspian need to go to him.”
I frown, but I was expecting he wouldn’t say much about Caspian Conti. The man will remain a mystery to me, for at least another twenty-four hours.
“Why don’t you take your coffee outside and enjoy the sunshine?” Michi says, dismissing me. I don’t ask him if he also knows today is my last day of ‘freedom,’ but it appears from the sadness in his eyes, he knows.
I take my coffee and walk outside to my favorite chair, but it feels more like I’m walking to the guillotine. Or at least my last meal before death finds me.
I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but I won’t dwell on it. I’ll eat my yummy food. I’ll read my book. I’ll tan in the sun. And I won’t think about tomorrow.
My breakfast and lunch are delicious. Michi is an excellent cook. I don’t know why Caspian doesn’t have him cook wherever Caspian stays when he isn’t here.
I hear shouting, and my heart does its usual freeze. I hear Caspian’s voice, but I also hear the faintness of a woman’s voice.
A woman?
That can’t be. Why would Caspian have a woman here?
He wouldn’t want to bring a date to see me. I glance at the large glass door out of the corner of my eye, and I can see Caspian standing in the living room as a woman sits on the couch.
What the hell?
I don’t move, afraid the couple might notice I’m outside. So far the pair seems to be locked in an argument.<
br />
I can’t hear the exact words they are saying to each other. But they are yelling.
I turn my head more fully to watch them, not caring if they notice I’m watching. They shouldn’t be here if they didn’t want me to snoop.
That’s when I get my first look at the woman. She’s wearing regular clothes. Jeans and a black T-shirt. But her face is puffy from crying. Her auburn hair is matted. And then I see the bruise on the back of her arm.
She was taken, just like me. I don’t know if Caspian saved her, the same as me, or if he was the one who stole her in the first place.
Could he not wait one more day to have me? Did he need a release today, and that’s why he stole this woman?
Oh, God. I can’t be responsible for Caspian hurting another woman. Before I realize what I’m doing, I’m off my chair. I’m at the glass doors trying to listen to the conversation, but the doors are extra thick. I’d guess even bulletproof, and definitely soundproof.
Caspian grabs the woman’s arm over the bruise, and I wince, feeling the pain in my own arm. He starts pulling her down the hallway to the bedroom. I can’t let him rape her. I can’t.
I jerk the door open and shout. “Stop!”
Both of them freeze and stare at me. The woman’s eyes are huge, as she realizes Caspian has another woman here. She looks at me like I might be able to free her, but she doesn’t realize I am just as much a slave as she is.
Caspian looks at me with rage expanding from his eyes. It’s clear he forgot I was even here. And now that I’ve interrupted, he’s even more pissed.
“Stop? What are you going to do to make me stop?” Caspian asks, his voice void of any emotion.
“Please, don’t. You promised you wouldn’t hurt me for one month. My time isn’t up yet, and this would hurt me.” I don’t think this falls under the rules of our agreement, but I have to try.
He shakes his head. “That’s not how our deal works.”
I swallow hard, trying to push any fear down. “Please, don’t rape her.”
The woman’s eyes grow larger at my words. But Caspian holds up a hand to silence her. She goes silent, before a word can leave her gaping mouth.
“What does it matter to you if I raped this woman? I promised you a month, and you have one day left. This woman is nothing to you. If she satisfies me, you might even get longer than a month to be free of me.”
My eyes cut from Caspian to the woman. I see the fear I’ve felt too many times. And I see Caspian’s rage. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this pissed before. I’ve seen a similar look in Dante’s eyes. He will beat her within a second of life. Only then, when she has no fight left, will he use his cock to finish her. She will be dead by morning. At least her spirit will. Her body will follow quickly.
“Please?” I say in barely a whisper.
“Why should I?”
Caspian stares at me, not letting me have a moment alone with my thoughts. I can’t think. I will do anything to prevent him from hurting her. I can’t protect myself, but I can protect her.
“Rape me instead.”
9
Gia
Why did I just tell Caspian to rape me?
Because I can’t help myself. I can’t watch another woman deal with even a drop of the violation and pain I’ve felt. I won’t let Caspian hurt this woman.
I don’t know who she is. I shouldn’t feel guilty for any pain she might endure. I shouldn’t feel responsible for saving her from the same fate I’ve faced. But the way her dark eyes bulge wide when she stares at me, with a sadness I didn’t think was possible until I was taken, made me want to do anything to save this woman.
I don’t care what happens to me. This woman is fragile. She couldn’t survive the same things I’ve been through. She’s too kind. One crack of a whip would break her.
Caspian lets go of, and ignores, the woman, as they both stare across the living room at me: his new prize.
I haven’t moved since I pleaded with him to take me, instead of her. He hasn’t either. We are both locked in a staring contest which might never end. The intensity flowing between us has us locked together in a wind that will never stop blowing.
Neither of us realizes it, but Caspian starts walking toward me. His feet stop automatically, just in time to prevent his body from crashing into mine. God, his eyes are so beautiful. And dangerous. And kind. And mysterious. And bright, but with specks of dark.
I don’t breathe. I don’t move. I don’t back down. I try to lock down everything I’m feeling tight away in my chest so Caspian won’t have a clue how to break me, while I try to figure out what he’s feeling. He’s a walking contradiction. He has equal parts light and dark. But that can’t be true. He has to have one side of him that is stronger. Is it the light or the dark?
Right now, dark.
His chest rises and falls sharply as he sucks in all the oxygen in the room with each breath before exhaling deeply enough to blow me over. The beauty I saw on his face turns to a painful stare. All the light from his eyes evaporates until I’m not even sure his eyes are blue anymore.
He’s decided. He’ll take me instead of the woman behind him. He wants me. And I’m giving myself to him willingly. He doesn’t have to tell me his decision. His body does.
I smile. It will probably be my last smile. So I savor it. I let the tiny bit of joy from winning cascade through my body, warming me all the way to my fingertips. My cheeks pink and my eyes soften. I saved her. I don’t know who she is, the woman still standing behind Caspian, staring at us like she doesn’t have a clue what’s happening.
You’re safe, I whisper in my head. Run. Hide. Find joy in your last days. I’m not playing games though. I’m not that type of woman. I prefer reality.
“I’ll be in the bedroom,” I say, turning. Happy to get one more word in before Caspian lets his inner demon out. I can see the evil in him growing stronger and stronger as every second ticks by. Dante lets his monster out freely. Caspian keeps his locked away. It’s how he has so much control.
But now I’m permitting him to let his true self out. And it appears it takes Caspian time to unlock the door to the dungeon in his soul. I’m not going to stand here and watch the darkness cloud him, as fear starts creeping up my own body. Caspian doesn’t get to see my fear.
My instinct is to wrap my arms around my body as I walk back. Holding myself to bring me comfort and keep Caspian’s negative energy away. But I won’t let him see me cower. So I strut with my hands by my side. My legs are steadier than they’ve been since I arrived here.
I open the door to his bedroom. I don’t know whether to hope he will follow me immediately, or he will take his time. Immediately, I decide, before I lose my nerve. I want this over fast.
I get my wish.
Caspian presses my body against the wall before I even realize he’s in the room. I don’t know how he’s able to walk in this house without making loud steps.
I wait for the hit. Or for him to choke me. Knock me out again, like he did last time. Or like Dante has done countless times.
I know Caspian is a brute. I see it fully in his eyes now as he pants over me. His breathing may be unsteady, but he is perfectly in control of himself.
I close my eyes slowly and deliberately, trying to find a happy place for my mind to go to. I imagine Caspian’s deck, where I’ve read so many books this last month. What was the name of the last book I read? It had a blue cover, I remember, but the title escapes me. It was about a prince going on a grand adventure to save his kingdom. I try to remember the book, but it’s easier to remember the feeling of the sun burning my skin. The smell of the pollen scattered over the deck, making me sneeze. The cool breeze is making me shiver in the early morning, before the sun fully rose.
“Open your eyes, Gia,” Caspian says.
I won’t. I don’t care what he does to me, but I need my happy place. I need to go somewhere that isn’t reality. It’s the only way I’ve survived this long.
“O
pen your eyes, Gia, or I’ll go back and—”
I open my eyes. He doesn’t have to finish that sentence. I don’t want him to hurt that woman. He knows it. And now I’ve obeyed him, he knows he can use it to get me to do almost anything.
I hate him. Maybe even more than Dante. I could deal with the physical pain as long as I had my escape. I don’t know if I can daydream with my eyes open. I need to get under Caspian’s skin, so he’ll punch me. If my eyes are swollen shut, then he can’t ask me to open them.
Caspian shakes his head slowly, side to side.
“You, Gia Carini, made a big mistake.”
I swallow hard. I don’t disagree. If I cared only about myself, then it was a mistake.
I saved her, I repeat to myself. That’s what I need to hold onto. I saved another woman.
“You want me to rape you?” he asks, his voice deep and rumbling in his throat.
“Yes,” I say, without hesitation or fear.
“Good.”
I blink, but force my eyes back open, before the blink turns into shut eyes again.
Caspian licks his lip, like he is deciding the best way to devour me.
And, damn it, my nipples perk up at the thought of his tongue licking me like that.
Caspian will not turn me on. It’s just because he’s good looking. His body is strong and fit. His hair is luscious and dark. His eyes are what I like most about him, but they’ve changed. This isn’t the same man I had fantasies about. This man is dangerous.
I am not turned on by Caspian, I repeat over and over to myself.
Caspian backs away from my body. He hasn’t even touched me yet. Not really. Other than moving me to the wall, but I’m pretty sure my body moved voluntarily.
“Undress me,” he says, standing a few feet away from me.
“What?” I ask, not expecting him to give me a command. Dante commanded, but he preferred to use his fists to get me to do what he wanted.
“Do you need your hearing checked?” he asks.
“Um…no…I just…don’t understand.” I would have expected him to tell me to undress. Dante always kept his clothes on when he raped me. I’m wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants. Not exactly real clothes, but it at least hides my body.
