I ran my tongue over my teeth. “Pretty much.”
“You know what I want to say, but I’ll reserve it for another time.” He raised his glass. “To the women who can put up with the likes of us.”
He and I clinked glasses.
“I’m never settling down,” Erik said. “I can’t see the point. Where’s the fun in that?”
“Way too much work,” Carter agreed. “Hey, does this mean I can hook up with Ashley now? I’ve had my eye on her for ages. You know what they say about redheads?”
“They’re crazy?” John said.
“True, but they’re extra wild when it comes to sex.” Carter smiled.
“Ashley’s always done exactly what and who she wanted, so it’s up to her, but you have my blessing.” I chuckled knowing Carter couldn’t handle her, but would go down in flames trying. Hell, stranger things had happened. Maybe they’d be perfect together.
Dan rejoined us and we ordered burgers.
Carter craned his neck to survey the bar filled with fisherman. “There are too many guys in this place, where are all of the chicks? Are we getting strippers tonight?”
“No, we are not getting strippers in Friday Harbor, but we can drop you off over on Shaw,” I offered. “Pick you up on Sunday on our way home.”
“What’s on Shaw?” Erik asked.
Nick and Dan chuckled.
“Are there lots of strippers on Shaw?” His eyes widened. “I’ll go. Better than sitting around in the rain with you smelly assholes.”
“Yeah, lots of chicks and they’re not used to young, hot guys being around. I’m sure you’d be really popular.” I encouraged him.
“Really? Why aren’t we going to Shaw already? Isn’t this a bachelor’s weekend?”
John was the first to crack. “How do you not know about the nuns of Shaw Island, doofus?”
“Nuns?” Carter and Erik’s faces fell.
“Seriously? That’s messed up. No way are they going to put out,” Erik mumbled into his beer.
Locking eyes for a moment, John and I had a silent conversation. Tonight we passed the wingmen torch to the next generation. I finally understood what he had with Diane, and what was developing with Hailey was better than anything the Kelsos were going to find in a bar or random hookup.
In my head, I heard Pops’ voice:
It’s about damn time, knucklehead. Oh, and I told you so.
I raised my glass in tribute.
Old man knew what he was talking about.
SIX SHOWERLESS MEN, stinking of fish, campfire smoke, and general manliness arrived in Langley harbor early Sunday evening. We never did drop Carter on Shaw Island, despite his bragging he’d convert the nuns. I had images of him being smacked with a ruler and repeating a bunch of Hail Marys. Then again, he might get off on the punishment. Forty-eight hours was about my limit for guy time and I was grateful to load up the truck’s bed with the remainder of our supplies.
“Say hi to Hailey for me,” John yelled with a wave as he got in his own truck.
I hadn’t said anything about seeing her tonight, but the bastard somehow knew I’d head over to her place. I flipped him off and started my engine.
I didn’t bother texting on my way. I wanted to surprise her . . . if she didn’t smell me coming first. I needed a shower. I contemplated how warm the lake might be in April. Much warmer than January, but still crazy cold for swimming. A plan solidified in my head as I turned off the road: me and Hailey in a hot shower.
An unfamiliar black car blocked my usual spot by the garage. In the few moments it took me to decide to back out of the driveway and call her from my house, the front door opened. Hailey exited with the older woman who had sat with her at the funeral.
Seeing my truck, Hailey gave me a big smile and waved. I grinned. I’d missed her. However, there was no way I was getting out of the truck to meet her mom smelling like a Sasquatch. I rolled down the window and said hello, not moving other than turning off the engine.
She said something to her mom and walked over to me, a strange smile plastered on her face. “Why aren’t you getting out of the truck? Are you not wearing pants?” She leaned through the window to peek inside.
“Of course I’m wearing pants. What kind of guys’ weekend do you think we had?”
She shrugged and the green of her eyes sparkled. “I’ve heard stories of men in the woods. Did you have a drum circle? Get naked and paint your faces with mud?”
“No one played any drums. Or painted their faces. We offered to drop off the boys on Shaw to visit the nuns.”
She laughed and then wrinkled her nose. “What’s that smell? Do you have a wet dog in there I didn’t see?”
I pushed the button to raise the window. “It’s me.”
Her fingers pinched her nose closed. “Did you roll in dead fish?” she asked through the closed window.
“No. I should go.”
“You can’t. My mom’s standing right over there and wants to say hello.” She waved at her mom, who walked in our direction.
“You really want me to meet your mom after you said I smell like a wet dog?”
“Too late, we don’t have a choice. Plus, you’ve met her plenty of times.”
The woman with the same green eyes as her and short gray hair stood beside the truck with a sweet smile and a confused expression. She didn’t have Hailey’s height, but there was no mistaking the family connection.
I lowered the window again. “Hi, Mrs. King.”
“Tom, it’s so nice to see you. Why don’t you come inside?” She smiled but her nose wrinkled slightly and she took a step away from the truck. “Or we could sit out on the deck with some coffee.”
I begged her with my eyes to come up with some excuse as to why I had to suddenly leave without having coffee with her very nice mother.
Instead, she smiled and agreed coffee on the deck was a great idea.
The best I could hope for would to be downwind.
“You two go on ahead. I’ll meet you out there.”
“Smart, smart. Yes, probably wise not to let you inside of the house.” Hailey inhaled before leaning through the window to kiss me with tightly closed lips, clearly holding her breath.
“Nice. Can I shower first? I promise to run through the house as fast as I can.”
She picked something out of my beard and held it up for me to see. It was a twig.
“I’m debating which would be more awkward. Waiting around with my mom while you’re naked in my shower doing who knows what. Or sitting near enough to you to have a conversation.”
Something itched my scalp. I pulled a leaf out of my hair. “Maybe I should throw myself in the lake again.”
“Yep, shower it is. No more naked family time.” She laughed.
I opened the door to get out and she moved away. “Give me a two minute head start so I’m not breathing your stink trail.”
“I missed you, too.” I lunged after her, but she was too fast and dodged my grasping hands.
Screaming, she dashed inside of the house. I counted to thirty, and then followed.
“Excuse me, Mrs. King, I’m going to borrow Hailey’s shower before joining you for coffee. I apologize for my appearance. I was camping with some friends in the San Juans this weekend.” I used my most charming, parental-ass-kissing voice to charm her.
Both women gave me a pained smile and waved me upstairs. I waited at the top of the stairs to overhear how Hailey explained me in her shower.
“He’s very handsome, but I hope he doesn’t stink this much on a regular basis. We’ll have to get you some of those plug-in room scents.”
“Mom,” she whined. “I swear this is a one-time thing.”
“Well, as long as you’re happy.”
“I am, I really am.”
My chest puffed up with pride and I wondered how long her mom planned to stay.
After my shower, I discovered one of my stolen shirts sitting on the bathroom counter. I didn’t have clean
jeans, but all in all I smelled human again.
Hailey met me in the kitchen with a non-parental appropriate kiss and ass grab.
“Thanks for the shirt.”
“You’re welcome. And so you know, I totally peeked at you naked in the shower.”
“I figured. How could you resist?” I smirked. “Sorry about the dirty jeans.”
“No problem, you won’t be in them for long.” She brushed her fingers along my fly.
The sensation fired up my blood and I had to move her hand before things escalated to the point I wouldn’t be able to walk outside in front of her mom. “You know what’s worse than being naked in front of my sister? Tenting my jeans in front of your mother.” I held her grabby hands between mine, lifting them to my lips to kiss her knuckles.
“Fine. But just know the entire time she’s here, I’ll be imagining you naked.” She walked to the slider with two cups of coffee. I raised my eyes to the ceiling and thought about anything but the sway of her hips or her ass in those jeans. Thinking about her long legs around me was the last thing I needed. I distracted myself by making a cup of coffee.
We sat on the deck, making small talk about our families for hours. Or at least twenty-minutes until her mother declared she had to get home to finish a pot roast. I think she said pot roast. Hailey had been rubbing her fingertips along the skin behind her ear, completely distracting me. I loved that spot. It smelled so strongly of her, and when I dragged my whiskers along the same line, she always shivered with pleasure.
“Tom?”
I snapped out of my fantasy. “Yes?”
“Mom’s leaving.”
“Oh, right. Nice to see you, Mrs. King.”
“Call me Angela. You two should come to dinner soon. Do you golf, Tom? I can’t remember.”
Golfing? Dinner? “My golf game is mostly a round at Island Greens with old clubs.”
“You’ll be fine. Martin makes more divots than he does shots, but don’t tell him I said so.”
“Mom, Tom doesn’t want to golf with Dad.” She sighed. “Don’t overwhelm him. He’s skittish and might run away.” She winked at me.
I wanted to wrap my arms around her from behind and bite the tender skin where her shoulder met the curve of her neck. Instead, I smiled and aimed my charm at her mother. “I look forward to it. We’ll make it a foursome.”
Her mom’s hand toyed with her necklace and a slight blush colored her skin. I bit the inside of my cheek to hold in my smug smile. Very few women were immune to my charms, and Angela King was not one of them.
The door closed softly behind her when she left. I locked it, and the slider too for good measure.
“Were you flirting with my mother?” She leaned against the couch. “I can’t believe you were flirting with my mother.” She shook her head with amusement.
I shrugged. “Every woman, no matter her age or marital status, likes to feel charming and beautiful. A little flirting is good for the soul.” I stalked closer to her. “Now what were you saying earlier in the kitchen about getting me out of my jeans?”
I kept my promise to Dad and showed up for Sunday dinner a week later with Hailey.
We parked near the barn and stared at each other in the silent cab after I turned off the engine. I cupped both of her cheeks in my hands “Ready?” I searched her eyes for the same nervous energy I felt.
She nodded. I gave her the softest kiss, but didn’t push for more. Instead, I rested my forehead against hers and shared her breath.
“You?” she whispered.
I rubbed my skin against hers when I nodded yes. “Give me a minute to enjoy this peace before everything changes.”
“Everything?”
I retreated far enough so I could meet her eyes. “I don’t want to share you. Or this.”
Her lips brushed against mine. “You’ll be fine.” With a squeeze to my hand she reached for her door handle. “Rip the bandaid? One, two, three . . .” She jumped out of the truck and jogged toward the front door.
I quickly caught up with her before she could knock. “You’re crazy.”
“Why?” she asked, slightly breathless. I imagined other ways I’d like to make her lose her breath involving fewer clothes and being horizontal.
“Knocking only makes it awkward.” I opened the door. “Mom, Dad? We’re here.” I grabbed her hand and wove our fingers together.
We discovered Mom in the kitchen. At first she was confused and explained Lori hadn’t told her she’d be bringing an extra person.
“Mom, she’s my guest.”
Mom blinked at me as the cogs in her brain ground against each other, falling into place when she saw our intertwined fingers. Her bachelor son had finally brought home a date.
“Oh, well, then, well, we’ll use the nice china.” Her hands fluttered around the counter, straightening spoons and spatulas, stirring pots that didn’t need to be stirred, and opening the oven door twice despite nothing being inside.
“Teri, it’s only me. I’ve been over to this house a million times since I was a kid,” Hailey reassured her.
“Of course you have. No reason to be awkward now.” Mom poured herself a large glass of White Zinfandel and added two ice cubes. “Who wants wine?”
I ducked out of the room to find the men folk. The Mariners had an afternoon game. Frankly, I couldn’t be around Mom anymore and keep a straight face. Plus, I was honestly worried she’d start talking weddings, or worse, kids.
“Your mom knows now?” Dad greeted me.
“Yep.”
“You left Hailey in there with her?” He nodded toward the kitchen.
“Uh-huh.”
“Probably for the best.”
We watched the game and talked about new players, the young pitcher, and chances for a World Series’ run until dinner was ready. When we pulled out our chairs at the table, I noticed Hailey had her own glass of white wine, complete with ice cubes. Cara and Amy each gave me a thumbs-up while Ellie spent the entire meal chatting with Hailey about her family. Over dessert, Lori handed me Noah, who squirmed in my arms, tugged at my beard with his sticky fingers, and spit up on my shirt all within three minutes. Gross.
“Better get used to it,” Lori said, full of smugness. “Hailey always said she wanted a bunch of kids.”
“Kids and I don’t get along.” I passed Noah to Hailey, who smiled at her, showing off his Donnely dimple. Little man was making the moves on my woman and he couldn’t walk yet. Had to hand it to him; he would be a charmer like his uncle. After wiping the vomit off of my shirt, I held up my hand for a fist bump.
“What are you doing?” Hailey asked.
“I taught him this trick a few weeks ago.”
Sure enough he bumped his hand against my knuckles. “See? Taught him everything he knows.”
My sisters groaned in unison, but Hailey’s eyes softened as she sniffed Noah’s ginger curls.
“Did you huff the baby?” I asked in a low whisper.
“Smell him.” She tipped him closer to me.
“No thanks, he already puked on me once. We’re better off at a distance. Plus, sniffing babies is weird.”
“You sniff me.”
“That’s different.” I leaned closer and rubbed my nose near her ear. “Pheromones and all,” I whispered, my hand traveling up her thigh and resting close to her hip. Her lips were inches from mine, so I closed the gap to kiss her.
“Not in front of the baby,” Lori scoffed, taking Noah.
“Honey, that’s exactly how babies get made.” Nick draped his arm over her shoulder.
I scooted away from Hailey faster than a bullet, and nearly fell out of my chair.
Everyone laughed at me, including Gramma. “This family needs more grand babies.”
“Time to go.” I stood and tugged Hailey up with me.
Dad gave me a sympathetic look. “Escape while you can, son.”
Female giggling and chatter about combinations of hair and eyes followed us down the hall.
I couldn’t get outside fast enough.
In the bright light from the moon, she stood and laughed at me. “You should have seen your face inside. You can’t let their teasing get to you so easily. Never show weakness. Ninja rule number one.”
I scrunched up my brow. “What are you talking about?”
“Your family was giving you a hard time in there. I don’t think any of them seriously want us to start having kids tomorrow.”
“Even Ellie?” My own grandmother was in on this?
“She probably instigated it. Seriously, you about passed out when you were holding Noah and Lori started in about babies.”
“I did not.”
She stepped into me and encircled my waist with her arms. “You did. It was cute.”
“And the head sniffing? That part of it, too?”
“No, I really do like the way babies smell. It’s like laundry fresh out of the dryer.”
“Only the dryer is a vagina.”
“Gross.” She slapped my chest.
“You have to give me a break. I’ve spent my entire sexual life avoiding getting someone pregnant. Hard to shift gears.”
She leaned into my arms. “I really am not ready to have a baby. Lori was teasing about me wanting a ton of kids. Or if she wasn’t, she was referring to my Nick Carter phase which coincided with 7th Heaven.”
“You wanted to have kids with a Backstreet Boy?” I tapped her nose with my finger. “That is the most ridiculous thing ever. You shouldn’t have told me.”
“Why?”
“That’s golden material for teasing. So I’m a second choice to Nick?”
“Not at all. Well, not anymore.”
I chuckled, and leaned down to suck on her full lip. I gave it a little nip before whispering, “You’re a weirdo.”
“Yes, but I’m your weirdo.” Her hands lifted to my neck and she arched into me.
“I’m the luckiest guy in the world.” I picked her up and spun us once.
“My Nick Carter loving teen girl heart thanks you for saying so.” She sighed. “But don’t tell Nick. He’d be devastated.”
“I won’t ever mention we had a conversation involving the Backstreet Boys this evening. Trust me.”
Confessions of a Reformed Tom Cat Page 22
