Frustration filled Damian. He was a pastor; he’d taken courses in counseling and should know what to say. But the words weren’t coming. He was scared that if he didn’t find a way to draw her out, she’d withdraw from him completely.
On the fifth floor Rachel went right to the nurses’ station and told them who she was. Damian followed her when the nurse pointed them in the direction of the waiting room. This waiting room looked pretty much like the one they’d just spent the last several hours in.
Damian dropped their things on one of the chairs, watching as Rachel resumed her pacing. He couldn’t figure out why all of the sudden she was so filled with tension. The news had been good from the doctor, so why was she reacting this way?
“Rachel, come sit down.” Damian patted the seat beside him.
Rachel stopped pacing and turned to look at him. “No, that’s alright. I’ve been sitting enough already.”
Her agitation was beginning to rub off on him, Damian realized. He couldn’t seem to find a comfortable position, and soon he was standing as well. The room was too small for both of them to pace around so Damian pulled out his phone and placed a call to Serena.
When there was no answer at her place, Damian assumed she was on her way to the hospital. Next he tried Reverend Anderson. His answering machine picked up the call, so Damian left a brief message updating him on Mari and Jace’s condition.
Damian leaned against the wall of the waiting room. He hoped the nurse came soon to tell them Mari was in her room, and that Rachel could see her. Maybe another visit would help calm Rachel down. Even though the last visit had left her more agitated than ever.
The elevator doors opened, and Damian looked over to see Serena step out, bundled up in a thick winter coat.
“Rachel!” Serena hurried towards her friend and embraced her. “I’m so sorry to hear what’s happened to Mari. How is she doing?”
Rachel filled Serena in on what had happened in the past several hours. Damian met Serena’s gaze over Rachel’s shoulder. He saw the worry in her eyes and knew it was not just for Mari. Damian suddenly remembered that Serena didn’t know that Mari was Rachel’s daughter. Serena probably couldn’t figure out why Rachel was so upset.
“Serena, there’s something else you need to know,” Rachel said, placing a hand on her friend’s arm.
Damian was relieved to hear Rachel tell Serena about Mari.
“That’s just amazing!” Serena exclaimed.
“I’m so afraid I’m going to lose her now.” Even though Rachel’s back was to him, Damian heard the tremor in her voice. “What if I got her back just to lose her again?”
Serena pulled Rachel into another hug. “Have faith, Rachel. God wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Really?” Rachel jerked out of Serena’s arms and stood rigid, her arms locked at her sides, fists clenched. “God’s taken more from me than you’ll ever know. Why would He let me keep Mari this time? Maybe He knew I’d be a lousy mother, and that’s why He let her be taken away when I was young and why He’ll take her now.”
“You gave her away, Rachel. That was your decision,” Serena reminded her in a soft voice. “You did what you thought best for Mari, and I think it was the right decision.”
“But why did this have to happen now? We just found each other again after all these years.” Bitterness laced Rachel’s words.
Damian stared at her, unable to believe that the woman before him was the same one he’d held just hours earlier. He’d never heard such bitterness and anger from her directed at God, or at anyone for that matter. What had happened to her faith?
A nurse came into the waiting room, and for a moment Rachel’s anger was forgotten.
“Is Mari in her room?” Rachel asked as she approached the nurse. “Can I see her?”
“Yes. She’s not awake yet, but you can see her for a few minutes.”
Rachel followed the nurse without looking back.
Once they were alone, Serena turned to him. “What’s happened to Rachel?”
Damian sat down, propping his elbows on his knees and ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t have a clue. She was doing okay, holding it together, until she went in to see Mari in the recovery room. After she came back out, she had completely changed. It was like one person had gone in, and another came out. I’ve never seen her like this.”
Serena sat down beside him. “I’m just so amazed at the news that Mari is her daughter. Who would have guessed? She mentioned having stuff in her past at one time, but I never thought it was something like this, and certainly never would have guessed that Mari was her daughter.”
“I never guessed either. She had the baby before she came here, so I wouldn’t have known.”
“Is that why she’s been holding you at a distance?” Serena asked.
“I’m not sure. I think there’s more, although I don’t know what. She had to have known I wouldn’t hold something like that against her. She was young. If it was a decision on her part to have sex at that age, it is not for me to forgive but for the Lord.”
“Something’s hurting her bad, Damian.” Serena stared at the doors through which Rachel had walked earlier, concern etched on her face. “I think it’s something that’s been buried for a long time because what I know of Rachel now, she’s just not the sort of person to be so negative.”
Damian agreed with Serena but that didn’t help him figure out what to do.
“How’s Jace doing?” Serena asked.
Damian felt a twinge of guilt for focusing so much of his energies on Rachel and Mari when his own brother was hurting. “He’s going to be okay. At least physically. Mentally and emotionally he’s going through a rough time. He was driving the truck when the train hit them. I think he blames himself.”
“Poor kid.”
“Has anyone called Mari’s aunt? Someone should let her know.”
Damian nodded. “I’ll mention it to Rachel when she comes out again. Maybe she has an idea of where we can get her contact information.”
Serena settled herself on one of the chairs, and now it was Damian’s turn to pace. He kept glancing at the clock on the wall, but it seemed the hands were mired in molasses they moved so slowly.
A group of people stepped off the elevator and took seats in the waiting room, chatting with each other. Damian walked to where Serena sat and sank down on the chair beside her, trying to calm himself down.
It was over forty minutes before Rachel reappeared. Considering it was supposed to have been a short visit, Damian was surprised she had been gone so long.
He could see immediately that she’d been crying. Damian stood when she approached them and motioned for her to sit by Serena while he sat down in the chair on the other side of her.
“How is she?” Serena asked.
Rachel started to reply but tears welled up and spilled over. She pressed her fingers to her lips, and Damian could see her hand was trembling.
“What happened, Rachel? Did she take a turn for the worse?” Fear crept up Damian’s spine. It would absolutely devastate Rachel and Jace if anything happened to Mari.
“Here.” Serena held out a tissue.
“I’m sorry.” Rachel took it with shaking hands and wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “Mari woke up while I was there.”
“That’s great!” Damian exclaimed, relief flooding him.
“Not so great,” Rachel said, shaking her head. “She doesn’t remember anything.”
“About the accident?” Serena asked.
“No. She doesn’t remember anything. Period.” Rachel buried her face in her hands.
Damian wanted to gather her close and comfort her, but when Serena reached out to hug her, he held back. He had hoped that once Mari woke they would be well on their way to recovery…that the worst would be behind them. Apparently not.
Finally Rachel lifted her head. “The doctor said that most likely it’s just temporary, because of the swelling her brain. Once the swelling goes down, the
amnesia should go away as well.”
“That’s good news,” Serena told her.
“But what if it doesn’t go down? What if she never remembers?” Tears spilled down Rachel’s cheeks again.
Damian met Serena’s gaze knowing their shared concern for Rachel was intensifying.
“Rachel, we need to just wait for now,” Damian advised. “Don’t get too upset with all the ‘what ifs’. The good thing is that Mari is awake. I think that’s a pretty big hurdle.”
Rachel turned to look at him. The pain and confusion in her beautiful eyes reached deep into Damian’s heart and squeezed it. If only he could take it all away for her. He wanted only to see joy and happiness in her eyes. Her pain was killing him.
“Sweetheart.” Damian reached out and stroked her cheek. “Don’t try and shoulder this all on your own. Serena and I are here for you. I think you need to take a break and get some rest. You’re exhausted, and it’s effecting the way you’re viewing things right now.”
Rachel shook her head, and Damian lowered his hand. “I need to be here for her. What if she needs me?”
“Rachel, she needs you to be well-rested and alert so any decisions you might have to make are made with a clear mind. Is she sleeping now?”
Rachel nodded. “They said she’d probably sleep for the next couple of hours at least.”
“Let me take you home,” Damian suggested. “It’s already one in the morning. You can sleep for a couple of hours and then come back.”
“No, I need to be here in case she wakes up again.”
“I’ll stay,” Serena said. “I’ll wait here, and if she wakes up, I’ll call you right away. You’re only a few minutes from here. Let us do this for you, Rachel. Now that Mari’s healing, she’s going to need you even more. Get some rest while you can.”
Damian could tell from the way Rachel’s shoulders slumped that she was going to take them up on their offer even though she didn’t want to. He picked up her jacket from where it lay on the chair next to him. “Here, put this on. The sooner we go, the sooner we’ll be back.”
Rachel slipped her arms into the jacket as he held it, then zipped it up. “Let me just talk to the nurse before we go.”
Damian pulled on his own jacket while he waited for her.
“I told the nurse I was going,” Rachel said when she came back. “I also told them that you were going to stay, Serena, and to call my house if they need me.”
“Good.” Damian handed her purse to her. “Let’s go.”
Placing a hand on her back he directed Rachel to the elevators. As they waited for it to arrive, he glanced back at Serena. She sat with her head bowed, most likely in prayer.
Rachel said nothing as they left the hospital and headed for her house. Damian didn’t try to pursue conversation, waiting instead for Rachel to talk if she felt the need.
He pulled into the driveway of her house and braked. The Christmas lights decorating the front of Rachel’s house sparkled brightly in the darkness, a jarring reminder of happier times. Damian climbed out of the cab of the truck and rounded it to open Rachel’s door.
Instead of climbing out she sat motionless on the seat, staring at the house.
“Rachel?” Damian said softly.
In the glow from the lights Damian saw silver trails on her cheeks. Without thought he reached for her and drew her into his arms. The height of the cab of the truck put her at just the right place to lay her head on his shoulder. And she did, without resistance.
The cold air bit at Damian’s back and neck, but he didn’t care. It was more important to comfort Rachel and give her the strength and support she needed. Damian could feel the soft heaving of her shoulders and knew she wept, even though she did so silently.
When the heaving stilled, Damian slipped an arm under her knees and swung her unto his arms. With one leg he shut the door of the cab and started towards the house.
“The key’s in my jacket pocket,” Rachel said softly.
Damian set her down on the back porch and waited for her to fish the key out. He took it from her and unlocked the door, letting her precede him into the kitchen.
“Thanks for bringing me home,” Rachel said as she slipped off her jacket. She stood there, an expectant look on her face.
“I’m not going anywhere, Rachel,” Damian told her firmly.
“But it doesn’t look good, us being here alone together,” Rachel protested.
“I think people will understand.” At least Damian hoped they would. He hadn’t even thought about it before leaving the hospital and now, at one-thirty in the morning, there was no one he could call. “I want you to eat something and then go on up to bed and sleep. I’ll wait here in case the phone rings, and they need you back at the hospital. In case you didn’t notice, you have no way to get back there since we came in my truck.”
Rachel didn’t say anything right away, just gnawed on her lower lip. She looked so young standing there, certainly not old enough to be the mother of a seventeen year old. It was strange to think that Mari was older now than Rachel had been when she’d had her.
“I’m not hungry,” Rachel said finally.
“Okay, then just go upstairs and lay down. Maybe when you wake up you’ll want something.” When Rachel began to shake her head, Damian held up his hand. “You have to eat something. But right now, try and get some rest.”
Rachel nodded and left the room.
As he stood staring at the blinking lights on the Christmas tree, Damian wondered if all of this with Mari would change his chances for a relationship with Rachel. Being this near to her during such a difficult situation had convinced Damian, more than ever, that he wanted to be by Rachel’s side through all the ups and downs of life.
If he could only convince her of that, but now wasn’t the time. Damian prayed for patience because the right time might be months away depending on Mari’s recovery.
*****
Rachel woke slowly, reluctant to be drawn from the warm cocoon of her blankets. She put off opening her eyes as long as she could, stretching beneath the blanket. Her movements brought the realization that she wasn’t wearing her comfortable pajamas.
Now fully awake, Rachel sat up and threw back the blankets. Why was she wearing the same clothes she’d worn the day before? She started to stand when everything that had happened over the past day hit her with the force of tsunami. Rachel sank back onto the bed.
Mari.
Ignoring the weakness of her legs, Rachel bolted off the bed. She needed to be at the hospital with Mari. She hurried down the stairs, remembering that Damian was going to stay in case the hospital called.
Soft music came from the living room, and Rachel found Damian seated in the recliner there. At first she thought he was sleeping, but as soon as she stepped into the room his eyes opened. He looked alert, and Rachel realized he must have been praying.
“What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?” Rachel asked.
“It’s six. You’ve been asleep for about four hours,” Damian said as he pushed the footrest of the recliner down and stood. “How do you feel?”
“Okay,” Rachel replied impatiently. She wanted to get back to Mari. “Did the hospital call?”
“No, but Serena called about an hour ago to say that Mari was still sleeping.”
“That’s good. We can get back to the hospital before she wakes up.”
Damian cleared his throat. “I often find that a quick shower after sleeping helps me to feel even more refreshed.”
“Are you saying I should take a shower?” Rachel asked.
“I think you’d feel better if you did. Shower, change of clothes, a bite to eat, and then we’ll head back to the hospital.”
Rachel wanted to argue but knew Damian was right. She spun on her heel and hurried back upstairs to her room. Within twenty minutes she’d had her shower and changed into fresh clothes.
She found Damian in the kitchen when she went back downstairs. He shoved a plate wit
h a sandwich on it and a cup of coffee towards her. Perching on a stool at the counter, Rachel snagged the plate and pulled it in front of her.
“Not exactly breakfast fare,” he said, motioning to the sandwich. “But it was fast. I knew you’d want to get back as soon as possible. Want me to pray?”
Rachel nodded and bowed her head. Damian’s prayer wasn’t long as he asked for healing for Mari and wisdom for the doctors as decisions were made.
Picking up her sandwich after Damian’s prayer, Rachel was sure she’d take one bite and not want any more. However, after that first bite, her stomach growled, and she ended up eating the whole thing. Rachel knew that was good since she needed her strength.
She reached for the cup of coffee in front of her. “Have you talked to your folks?”
Damian shook his head and finished his bite of sandwich before replying. “It’s a little early. I’ll call them when we get back to the hospital.”
“When is Jace being released?”
“Later this morning, if he’s still doing okay.”
Rachel took another sip of her coffee. She wished Damian would eat faster. Now that she had her food and caffeine, she wanted to get back to Mari.
After drinking the last of the coffee, Rachel stood and took her dishes to the sink. She rinsed them quickly and stuck them in the dishwasher.
“Can we go?” she asked when she saw that Damian had finished his sandwich.
He gave her a smile of understanding and handed her jacket to her. “Let’s hit the road.”
Chapter Fifteen
Twenty minutes later they were back in the elevator on the way to the fifth floor. The hospital was a bit busier than it had been with they’d left. Thankfully the elevator was empty, and only Serena and one other person remained in the waiting room.
When they approached, Serena looked up from the book she held. “Hey! You’re looking much more rested.” She stood and gave Rachel a hug.
“Now it’s your turn to go and get some sleep,” Rachel told her. “I sure appreciate you staying. I felt much better knowing someone was here for Mari.”
Waiting For Rachel: A Christian Romance (Those Karlsson Boys) Page 16
