by Mary C Neal
SAME EXPERIENCE, DIFFERENT DETAILS
As I researched the near-death phenomenon, I found strong confirmation that while story details may vary, both the substance and the emotional and spiritual meaning of those stories rarely do. Skeptics often use these differences between individual details to question the validity of the NDE phenomenon, and I empathize with their cautious, even dismissive scientific standards of reproducibility. But I’ve come to see this response as unfortunate and misguided.
How do any of us describe or experience intense beauty? This is an almost universal component of NDE descriptions, and not surprisingly, the specific expression of that experience of beauty varies between individuals, just as it does on Earth. Think of it this way: Some of us appreciate the informational realism of photographs; others prefer the more emotive and suggestive communication of abstract paintings. For some of us, Mozart’s arias move us to tears; others of us definitely prefer the gritty emotion of a country-western song.
I believe God presents to each of us at our death the experience that will speak most powerfully and directly to us, whether that is music, dance, flowers, animals, or some other deep expression of beauty. Why wouldn’t our loving Creator want to welcome us home with the language of our heart?
In my view, the variation in experience speaks even more strongly to NDEs not being the result of mere physiology. If the NDE experience were nothing more than a chemical or physiological response, I would expect more consistency. In my medical practice, for example, I have treated scores of people who have broken a bone. Their pain response is largely dictated by physiology, and its course is quite predictable. Such is not the case with NDEs.
PROFOUND CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE
One feature of NDEs is remarkably consistent, though, and clearly points to a higher dimension of reality. As I’ve mentioned, most experiencers lose all fear of death but gain a universal belief in life after death. Even those who died as atheists don’t just think there is a God—they know there is.
Lifestyles and core beliefs change. Materialists become altruists, alcoholics are often unable to imbibe, and strict religious dogma tends to give way to grace. Most of us come back determined to make a difference in the world, and with a heightened awareness of and appreciation for the present moment.
After my own return, my husband remarked that I didn’t seem to care about anything anymore. But it wasn’t that I didn’t care, just that what I cared about had dramatically shifted and deepened. He didn’t realize that, although I now felt entirely removed from the cares and values of this world, I cared very deeply about what I believed was of eternal importance.
And this is true for many others. Most people become significantly more spiritual after an NDE, regardless of their religious background, and many return with increased psychic or intuitive abilities. Sometimes NDEs even create lasting objective physical changes such as lower blood pressure, or measurably altered electrical fields.15
KNOWING THE UNKNOWN IS…COMPLICATED
But for most people, the return to Earth and to a physical life is also a complex and confusing event. While people who have had an NDE rejoice in their encounter with unconditional love and acceptance, experiencers often feel a sense of isolation and confusion upon return to their previous life. While there is sometimes guilt at not wanting to come back, there is also depression at having returned. Many struggle with understanding their experience and how to incorporate it into their life. Recognizing the immortality of their soul, most experiencers have a greater sense of purpose for their earthly journey, and many become more driven and determined to make a difference in the world, but some are unsure about how to do so. These emotional and behavioral changes are not always accepted or understood by loved ones, often leading to strained or severed friendships and marriages.
As for me, after many months of research, discussion, and consideration, I concluded that my experience had been real and true. In accepting this conclusion, however, I was also accepting the reality of all that I had been told regarding my work on Earth and my future challenges. While it was electrifying to have had this experience, it was also a heavy burden. I was scared and felt isolated and lonely. No one, including the people closest to me, could possibly understand what I had experienced. I couldn’t admit to them that I hadn’t wanted to return, something impossible to understand outside the context of God’s love, and I couldn’t tell them about the challenges we were about to face.
Yet, about one thing I was absolutely certain—heaven is real, and I had been there.
Chapter 7
A GUIDED TOUR OF HEAVEN
“Joy is the serious business of heaven.”
—C. S. LEWIS
As I speak across the country about my experiences, a crowd invariably lines up afterward to talk. Trust me, it’s not because I’m an unusually riveting speaker. What compels them to linger, often for several hours, are their own stories and questions. Some want to know if they’ll see their departed loved ones again, or if their departed loved ones know what is happening now on Earth. Some are wrestling with their own mortality, or the recent death of someone they cherished. Some just want to personally look into my eyes and ask me if it’s all true. But what people ask about more than anything else is heaven. Everyone wants to know what lies beyond the veil.
I often say that my story, and the truths it reveals about who God is and what he wants for us, is for everybody. But I also acknowledge that mine is a Christian experience. The Jesus who comforted me while I was drowning, and spoke with me in that beautiful field, was the Lord I knew from prior experience and from scripture. What a person of another faith or no faith experiences in an NDE, I simply cannot say. For example, I have no idea if there are different heavens or different parts of heaven. Some version of heaven is described in the texts of all major religions and, like my own descriptions, is consistently noted to be extraordinarily beautiful, gardenlike, and the place of our eternal home.
What I know for certain is that I was somewhere other than in my body, it was glorious, and Jesus was there with me. This is my testimony.
Most of us are familiar with biblical descriptions of heaven, but even those come with limitations. In the book of Revelations, we read that heaven “shone with the glory of God, and its brilliance was like that of a very precious jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal” (Revelation 21:11). Notice how important the word like is in almost every description of heaven. That’s because the closest we can come to an accurate description is to compare the qualities of heaven with something we understand from Earth. The word paradise might come close to capturing the essence of heaven in our language, but even that is limited.
When people ask me to get as specific as possible with what I learned, here are the questions I hear most, and what I say in response.
“WILL WE KNOW EACH OTHER IN HEAVEN? WILL WE SEE OUR LOVED ONES?”
My experience, the experience of many others, and the biblical texts deliver a definite yes to these questions. We will definitely know each other in heaven and we will absolutely see our loved ones. Almost immediately after leaving my body, I was greeted by a group of beings who were simultaneously familiar and unfamiliar. This may sound strange and perhaps even unsettling, but I can assure you that I felt nothing but peace and happiness in their fellowship. I received a very warm welcome into heaven and immediately felt right at home.
Grace, whose testimony appears in Cherie Sutherland’s book Within the Light,1 describes an experience similar to mine:
There seemed to be figures, grouped, almost a theatrical grouping, like a stage set. And at first they were just amorphous, shadowy figures and I was peripherally but intensely aware of a grouping on my right, ahead of me, but I hadn’t really looked at it. I knew it was there but it was not impinging on my consciousness too much at that stage—I was too busy looking the other way. And as I looked, one of the figures seemed to resolve itself, and I thought, “I know that face,” and I suddenly realized, “O
h God, it’s my aunty Hannah,” who died eleven years ago. And then I saw my uncle Abraham, who died before I was born….I knew they were there to see me, and they knew me, even though they’d never met me.
Could I have identified the individuals who welcomed me? If I had been there longer, or paid greater attention when I was there, I believe I could have done so. I liken it to one’s attending a large gathering of relatives but not quite being able to remember each person’s name, to whom they are married, or how they are connected to you, but knowing they are family. Regardless, I was delighted by their presence and immediately knew they were people who were part of my “life circle” or “soul group,” for lack of better terms, with whom I have an eternal bond.
THE FOURTH LESSON THAT HEAVEN REVEALS
Heaven is a reality where we are made whole—no pain, no sorrow, no suffering—understanding prevails, relationships are reconciled, and we will be with God and our loved ones forever.
I have experienced the deep pain of losing people I dearly love, and it is a great comfort to me to know that when I next return to heaven, my son and all the other people I love who have gone before me will be there waiting. I look forward to this time with great anticipation.
“WHAT DO PEOPLE IN HEAVEN LOOK LIKE?”
Those who greeted me on the pathway appeared to have a normal physical form, yet they also seemed ageless, appearing neither old nor young, fat nor skinny, dark nor light. Each of the beings I met was beautifully radiant and exquisitely vibrant. In fact, it was their luminosity that made their forms and faces somewhat indistinct, and it reminded me of why angels and saints are often drawn with halos.
Their brilliance should have been blinding, but it wasn’t. Casting no shadows, it seemed to be generated from within, rather than from an external source. I, too, seemed to absorb and radiate this brilliance. They were wearing robes that appeared to be woven of fabric made from millions of shimmering filaments, actively radiating both color and love. Describing the robes and physical attributes of these spirits is like trying to describe the ethereal and constantly changing spectacle of the aurora borealis, or northern lights. They appeared somewhat solid, and I was unable to see through them, yet they simultaneously appeared pearlescent and translucent.
Is this how people in heaven always appear? Did they take on human form so that I would recognize them, know their love, and not be afraid? I really don’t know, but it’s fun to wonder.
“DID YOU HAVE A BODY IN HEAVEN?”
I wore a robe similar to the ones that the other spirits were wearing. It flowed as I moved, but I had no sense of its fabric moving against my skin. I had no sense of its weight or mass. Actually, I don’t really know if I even had skin. Like the others, I seemed to also have a physical form, but there were no mirrors and, truthfully, I never thought to look. Although now I wish I had taken more mental notes, it just didn’t seem important at the time, especially since I had no plans to return to Earth or share my story if I did return.
I will say that I still seemed very much like “me,” but with all my flaws and limitations removed. I was still aware of my earthly life and journey, but I think I was experiencing the perfect “me” that God sees.
We were standing, sometimes jubilantly dancing about, and occasionally sitting, but there was no sense of weightlessness or of gravity. We just sort of existed in the space. Although we joyfully embraced, I have no conscious memory of the brush of their garments, or what they felt like beneath my fingertips. I don’t remember a feeling of breathing or swallowing and never thought of a need for nourishment. I clearly smelled the intense fragrance of the flowers that surrounded me, but I have no recollection of other smells.
Although my husband is very musical and will likely hear symphonies in heaven, I did not. I have no ability to sing, don’t know sharps from flats, and can’t hear the nuances of sophisticated music, so angels performing a symphony while sitting on the clouds might not have inspired me to stay long. I was able to hear what sounded like the rustling of a gentle breeze, and I heard a musical harmonic of some sort when I was on the arched threshold. It was as though the joy emanating from all the souls and angels I saw was merging to create a perfectly harmonious song of praise. When I looked back down at the scene on the riverbank, I could also hear the normal voices of my boating companions as they were performing CPR. But while I could also “hear” and understand the voices of my spiritual companions, I did not hear them as distinct sounds. I would not, for example, be able to describe them as high or low, male or female.
All my senses seemed to be expanded. I did not merely hear the sounds that reached my ears or detect the smells that reached my nose. I felt like I could “hear” color and “smell” sunshine.
“WAS ANYONE SICK OR HURT IN HEAVEN?”
No. This restoration to health and wholeness is described by all who have had an NDE or dream visitation. Loved ones who died in illness are restored to health, and those who were crippled in life are restored to strength. I can’t begin to tell you how important this fact is for me personally. My son’s body was mangled after he was struck by the car of a young man who was distractedly driving, but when I subsequently saw him during a dream visitation, which I will describe in a later chapter, he was whole, strong, and vibrant.
Then there’s Geoff, who shared with me the details of his NDE. He first told of the traumatic birth that led to his cerebral palsy. His legs never worked well, and he struggled to walk. Several years prior to speaking with me, he was involved in a car accident in which he suffered grave injuries and almost died. His heart stopped several times, during which he described leaving his body and going to heaven. He said that he suddenly looked around and saw that he was in a golden field. He saw his beloved grandmother at the other end and was shocked to discover that his legs worked perfectly when he began running to her. He was equally surprised to see his grandfather waving to him, looking nothing like the elderly, cancer-ridden person he had been at the time of his death several months earlier.
People who were mean and bitter on Earth are loving and joyful in heaven. This may not be welcome news to those who have told me about relatives and friends who hurt them that they never want to forgive or see again. I found understanding in heaven. Relationships that were contentious or broken on Earth are restored to love in heaven.
“DO YOU THINK LOVED ONES IN HEAVEN CAN SEE US HERE ON EARTH?”
I believe the answer is yes. My experience of being simultaneously aware of what was happening in heaven and also what was going on behind me on Earth opened my eyes to the possibility that spirits really do cross into our world.
In addition, after listening to hundreds share with me their own stories of NDEs and spiritual encounters, I’ve concluded that the spirits of our deceased loved ones are not completely removed from our earthly existence. (Not that I can entirely explain this, of course.) I believe they are aware of us, and our life events, that they are our greatest cheerleaders, and I believe they are able to sporadically cross into our world. I’ve just heard too many stories of this occurrence to ignore the possibility.
While I was in heaven, I did not forget my earthly life. I was able to see and understand everything that was happening on the riverbank. I thought about my husband and my children, my parents, and siblings. I’ve never been able to figure out how to describe this, but as I thought of each one, I was able to empathetically be a part of them, transferring a feeling that everything is “fine.” It was as if a part of my spirit traveled to wherever they were at that moment and interjected an emotional sense of contentment into their psyche. I did feel some disappointment at not returning to them and sharing their life journey, but I was confident they would be fine. I was equally confident that I would continue to love them, still be a part of their lives, and be reunited with them when their own work on Earth was done. It is interesting, though not surprising, to note that I thought and remembered a great deal about my relationships while I was in heaven, but not at all ab
out my work or other earthly issues that occupy so much of our time and attention.
Although I don’t know what prompts the ability to cross into our physical world, I don’t believe that our loved ones cross over at our request. I wonder, though, if sometimes God allows them to come to us in order to bring comfort and assurance.
“ARE THERE ANIMALS IN HEAVEN?”
I have been asked many times if I encountered animals during my time in heaven, but I did not. Animals, however, are one of God’s wonderful creations here on Earth, so it would make sense that they would also be in God’s heavenly world.
In fact, the words of Isaiah 65:25 imply there are animals in heaven, and many people have recounted seeing animals during their NDEs. P. M. H. Atwater has observed that, “animals are often seen during near-death episodes, either as part of the scenario or as that initial greeter or guide.”2
Bryce Bond3 had an NDE after being rushed to the hospital after a violent allergic reaction. He remembered passing through a long tunnel toward a brilliant light. He describes what happened next:
I put my dog on the ground and stepped forward to embrace my stepfather when a very strong voice is heard in my consciousness. Not yet, it says. I scream out, “Why?” Then this inner voice says, “What have you learned, and whom have you helped?” I am dumbfounded. The voice seems to be from without as well as within. Everything stops for a moment. I have to think of what was asked of me. I cannot answer what I have learned, but I can answer whom I have helped.
