The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya
Page 12
Tsuruya wasn’t here as part of the hot pot spectacle or to chaperone Asahina. As for why she was our special guest today…
“So about that snowstorm lodge.”
Haruhi had upgraded the modifier from “snow” to “snowstorm.”
“Rejoice, Kyon. Guess what? Tsuruya is letting us use her vacation home for free. I hear that the location’s fantastic. Can’t wait to see it! Here, chow down.”
Haruhi tossed a chunk of pork onto Tsuruya’s plate and dropped a piece of fish that had finished cooking onto her own plate.
“I usually go with my family.”
Tsuruya threw the chunk of pork into her mouth and swallowed it whole.
“But this year the ’rents are in Europe on a business trip. They’ll be finished in three days and the whole family will be going to Switzerland to ski afterward! So I’ll take you guys to the vacation home with me! Sounds like it’ll be a blast!”
Tsuruya must have heard Asahina mention Haruhi’s winter plans at some point and offered to provide lodging. Koizumi was probably standing by to jump at the first opportunity presented, so he wrote up a vacation plan and presented it to Haruhi, who jumped with joy like a cat receiving sashimi.
“I’ve got something here for Tsuruya!”
She withdrew a plain armband from her desk and labeled it HONORARY ADVISOR before handing it over. Right.
Speaking of Koizumi, he was smiling as he watched Haruhi, Nagato, and Tsuruya dig in like this was some kind of eating contest before he apparently noticed the look on my face.
“Please rest assured. There won’t be any surprises this time. Everyone will be aware that we are merely playing a game of detective. In fact, we will be using the same members as before.”
Arrangements had been made for Arakawa the butler, Mori the maid, and the Tamaru brothers to put on another show for us. I guess that works, but what do those people even do for a living? Are they desk jockeys at your “Agency” thing?
“They are all actors I happen to be acquainted with from a small troupe…Would that satisfy your curiosity?”
If Haruhi’s willing to accept that story, I’ll take it.
“Suzumiya does not concern herself with the details as long as she is having fun, though the provision of entertainment would be the greatest hurdle before us…My stomach begins to hurt when I worry if my script will be to her liking.”
Koizumi clutched at his stomach in an exaggerated gesture, but the smile on his face made it clear that he wasn’t even trying to act like he was in pain.
I believed myself to be a better human than Haruhi, so I couldn’t ignore reality the way she did and party away without a concern. I glanced around the room for something that might alleviate my worries before spotting Nagato and the blank look on her face. Your typical Nagato. The Nagato I was accustomed to was chomping away at the hot pot as if nothing had ever happened.
“…”
In any case, I thought.
For once, we should prevent the situation from deteriorating to a point where any strain would be placed on Nagato. No, we were obligated to do so. Though experience would tell us that we should be safe this time. Nagato hadn’t been required to perform any spectacular feats during our summer camp. I could only hope that this winter trip would be the same. Leave the hard work to Koizumi and his people.
As I considered this, I looked down at the documents before me.
According to the schedule on these sheets of paper, our departure was set for December thirtieth. The day before New Year’s Eve. The snowy mountain itself wasn’t that far away. A few hours of bumpy train riding would get us there on the same day.
In any case, once we arrived the rest of that day would be spent skiing, followed by a party (no alcohol allowed) that night. The arrangements for food preparation were similar to those on the summer island, as Arakawa the butler (who was more convincing than a real butler, despite being a fake) and Sonoh Mori (the fake maid) were in charge. The two Tamaru brothers would arrive the next morning, which would lead us to the prelude of our little detective game.
We would spend New Year’s Eve analyzing the case and deducing the trick behind it before assembling at midnight to present our individual theories concerning the “Poisoned Chocolate Incident,” with Koizumi playing the role of the mastermind who would reveal the solution in a nonchalant manner. And then we would all be filled with this sense of relief as we bid farewell to the old year and welcomed the new. Glad to see you!
At least, that was the plan.
I looked up to see Haruhi practically beaming at me. I’m no longer surprised by her ability to gloat before she’s actually accomplished anything.
“We’ll ring in the new year with a bang.”
Haruhi was in the process of snatching up a leek with her chopsticks.
“I’m sure that the new year will appreciate our efforts and make this year a good one. I guarantee it. I can sense that the upcoming year will be a turning point for the SOS Brigade.”
I don’t really care about your personifying years, but I doubt that your definition of a good year would be good for the rest of us.
“Really? I was thinking that the past year was a lot of fun and hoping that next year would be the same. You don’t agree? Oh, Mikuru. The broth in the hot pot’s boiling down, so add some more water.”
“Ah, right away.”
Asahina pranced over to the kettle.
“Oof.”
She heaved the heavy-looking kettle above the hot pot and carefully tipped it over.
As I watched her graceful movements, I reflected on everything that had happened in the past year, which made me hesitate for a moment. Haruhi had said that the past year was a lot of fun. If you were to ask me if I thought the past year was fun, my answer would be obvious.
After all, I’d started off as a kid who longed for the mysterious and unknown. I just wanted an experience that involved aliens or anything along those lines. It wouldn’t make sense for me to not be happy about my fantasies’ becoming reality. Still, I wouldn’t expect such events to continue regularly.
However, despite all that, this was how I felt on the inside.
Yeah, it was fun.
I could confidently say that now. It took a considerable amount of time for me to reach this point. But to be completely honest, I would have preferred a little more peace and quiet. Personally, a few more intervals of relaxation in the clubroom would have been nice.
“You say such weird things.”
Haruhi’s cheeks were stuffed with fish liver.
“We’ve been having a blast this whole time. You haven’t had enough fun yet? Then we should party hard before the year ends.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
She didn’t know about the ordeals I’d experienced and how I’d managed to survive them. I’d had to win a baseball game, end summer vacation, restore the distortions to reality that had come from the movie, go back and forth between past and present, and establish the fact that I will need to return to the past again in the future. The choice had been my own, so I couldn’t blame anybody else, but I was ridiculously busy this time of year for somebody who wasn’t planning on becoming a teacher.
Well, not that I could say any of this to Haruhi.
“We’ll have time to party after we get to that mountain lodge.”
I brushed aside Haruhi’s extended chopsticks as I plucked some cabbage from the hot pot. It wasn’t every day you got a chance to have some of Haruhi’s special hot pot. I needed to fill my stomach before the females of the group (excluding Asahina) with their voracious appetites devoured all the food. Didn’t know when I’d get another chance to enjoy such a feast.
“I guess.”
Haruhi was in a good humor as she heaped beef tripe onto her own plate.
“We need to light up the place with our partying. Got it? New Year’s Eve only happens once a year. Just think about it. We only get to experience a certain day of a certain year once in
our lifetime. The same goes for today. Today will never come back once it’s gone. That’s why you’re obligated to live every day to the fullest so you have no regrets. I’m determined to make every single day of my life unforgettable.”
Haruhi’s idealistic sermon drew a quick response from the adjacent Tsuruya, who was sinking her teeth into some half-cooked chicken.
“Wow. Harls, you can remember everything that happened 365 days a year? Wowzers. Mikuru, give me some tea!”
“Ah, right away!”
Asahina held the teapot in one hand as she carefully poured green tea into the guest teacup Tsuruya was holding up, looking rather happy as she performed the task. Haruhi was having fun arbitrarily administering the hot pot, Koizumi had a rather elegant smile on his face as the steam emitted from the hot pot, and Nagato simply dug in without making a sound. Tsuruya, the honorary advisor, was here as a temporary brigade member, but for the most part this was your typical SOS Brigade atmosphere.
I now understood the true value of these brief moments we shared. Having chosen this world, I was more or less guaranteed to encounter more bizarre happenings that involved Haruhi. At the very least, I’d expect to run into a couple more of these before everything was said and done.
Besides, we haven’t come across any sliders yet.
“If you plan on making an appearance, just bring it.”
I accidentally said that out loud, but apparently nobody could hear me over the ruckus of Haruhi and Tsuruya fighting over mushrooms.
However, I have a feeling that Nagato’s eyelashes twitched ever so slightly.
I glanced over at the window to see that snow was trickling down slowly, as if against the sky’s will. Koizumi must have followed my gaze.
“Once you reach our destination, you’ll have enough snow to play with until you’re sick of it. Incidentally, do you prefer skiing or snowboarding? I happen to be in charge of arranging for the implements we will use.”
“Never snowboarded before.”
I tossed him a halfhearted reply as I looked away from the winter sky. Koizumi still had that neutral smile on his face, though it seemed a bit forced.
“Now then, are you staring at the falling snow or thinking of a certain girl whose name happens to mean ‘snow’ in another language…”
It was clear that there was nothing to gain from exchanging glances with Koizumi. I shrugged and joined the battle for mushrooms.
We got away with the forbidden gas stove without being discovered by any teachers or tattletale students, though it was possible they noticed and chose to ignore us. Either way, we ate until we were stuffed, cleaned up the pot, utensils, and trash, and left the clubroom. By the time we exited the school building the light snow had stopped.
After bidding farewell to Tsuruya, who had to attend a party at her home, the SOS Brigade members headed to the bakery. Once we picked up the extra-large cake Haruhi had ordered, we set off to Nagato’s apartment.
Not because we felt bad about Nagato spending Christmas Eve all by herself, but because Nagato, who lived alone, had offered the ideal place for eating cake and going wild. I couldn’t be sure if Koizumi, tasked with bringing Twister, or I, carrying the cake box, got the better deal, but Haruhi was clearly in a joyous mood as she skipped ahead of our little group. Her cheer had apparently spread to Asahina, whom Haruhi would swing around from time to time, and Nagato, who silently shuffled along.
It seemed that we wouldn’t have to worry about a blizzard of Santa Clauses instead of snow. Haruhi certainly appeared to be satisfied as she enjoyed this very ordinary Christmas Eve. She was in the same mental state as my sister. Just for today though, probably.
I shouldn’t need to explain the reason I was feeling so tolerant this time of year. Haruhi could suddenly propose that we go Santa hunting and roam the night streets, and I would simply join her with a mocking smile on my face.
It was undeniably true that every one of us appeared to be having fun as we played the various games Koizumi had brought to Nagato’s soundproof room. Two laptops were hooked up for a
And that was essentially how our Christmas Eve went.
* * *
The period between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve flew by so fast that I had to wonder if Haruhi was pushing time along. During that time we did a massive cleanup of the clubroom and I received a puzzling phone call from a former middle school classmate that resulted in my going to watch a football game. When all was said and done, the new year was knocking on our door.
A new year, huh? I wonder what’s going to happen. Personally, I need to do something about my grades or I’ll be in serious trouble.
My mother wasn’t being very subtle about her desire to send me to a cram school, so this would be the perfect opportunity to use my participation on a healthy sports team or in an official club of some sort as an excuse, but since I was a member of an unofficial and incomprehensible association that basically lounged around—at least, that was how it looked to other people—I could understand why someone would question the presence of a student with poor grades but planned on going to college.
For some reason Haruhi had ridiculously good grades, and based on the finals we just took Koizumi would also be considered smart. Asahina was also a diligent student, though it was possible that she was interested in studying ancient practices. And I shouldn’t need to say anything about Nagato’s grades.
“Well, I’ll deal with it later.”
First, I needed to make sure this winter trip was a success. That would be my only focus for now. I could do my studying in the next year. Since our mountain lodge countdown party had to start in this one.
And so, on that note—
“Off we go!”
Haruhi was yelling at the top of her lungs.
“Yahoo!”
Tsuruya was just as hyper.
“The weather at our destination is ideal for skiing at the moment.”
Koizumi delivered an update on the forecast.
“So we’re going skiing? As in the skiing where you glide on snow?”
Asahina lifted her chin, which was tightly secured by a scarf.
“…”
Nagato stood perfectly still with a small bag in one hand.
“Yay!”
My sister was jumping around.
We were in front of the station early this morning. We would be taking a train from here and switching to a connecting train before reaching the snowy mountain that was our destination at a little past noon. Which was fine, but why was my sister here when she wasn’t supposed to be…?
“Who cares? Can’t do anything about her tagging along. The easiest solution would be to bring her with us. She probably won’t get in our way.”
Haruhi hunched down and smiled at my sister.
“If it were somebody I didn’t care about, I’d just chase them away, but your sister’s a sweet girl, unlike you, so I’m perfectly fine with this. She also helped us out with the movie, and Shamisen will have someone to play with this way.”
Yes, our family calico cat was a member of this trip. I shall refer you to the SOS Brigade’s travel planner for an explanation.
“We will need a cat for the gimmick used in this particular mystery.”
Something along the lines of The Cat Who…, I’m guessing.
Koizumi had taken a seat on his own luggage.
“A random cat would have sufficed, but Shamisen did an admirable job of acting when we were filming the movie. I was hoping for an encore performance.”
The present Shamisen is just your typical domesticated cat that can’t speak. You probably shouldn’t expect much from him. I looked over at Haruhi, whose nose was practically touching my sister’s.
“And as a result, she spotted me leaving.”
Our departure was early in the morning and I had already told my mother to keep mum about the trip, so I wasn’t very worried at the time. Since I figured that my sister didn’t realize I was going on a trip with Haruhi and everybody else. But a surprising pitfall awaited me. I was in my room, stowing the slumbering Shamisen in a cat carrier, when my sister walked in for some inexplicable reason. She must have gone to the bathroom and, being half-asleep, stumbled into my room by mistake on her way back.
Things took off from there. My sister’s eyes suddenly opened wide.
“Where are you taking Shami? Why are you dressed like that? Why are you packing?”
Wow, she’s annoying. And after my eleven-year-old sister threw a fit that was exponentially worse than the one last summer, she latched onto my bag with both arms and legs like an oddly colored shellfish adhered to a rock.
“We can manage to accommodate another person,” Koizumi said with a smile. “One additional child isn’t going to put us over budget. I would agree with Suzumiya. There is no point in sending her home after she’s come all the way out here.”
My sister had finished jostling with Haruhi and proceeded to bury her face in Asahina’s ample bosom and hug Nagato’s perfectly still legs and shake, before she finally started squealing with laughter as Tsuruya swung her around.
Good thing I have a sister. If she were my brother, I’d have to take her to the back alley this very second.
* * *
My sister didn’t slow down at all as she spent the duration of the express train ride to the snowy mountain jumping around us with glee and wasting energy. If she’s too hyper now, she’ll be tired out by the time we reach our destination, which means that I’ll have to carry my sleeping sister once again, not that I would be able to accomplish anything by telling her this. Haruhi and Tsuruya were just as excited as she was and even the normally reserved Asahina seemed to be uncharacteristically enthusiastic about this trip. And Nagato of all people had given up on reading the paperback that she soon stuffed back into her bag, and she stared at my sister in silence.