When she made no quick and witty comeback, he figured she might have gotten a hint of his frustration.
“That really doesn’t have anything to do with us.”
That really has everything to do with us. He kept his mouth shut as he heard her take another quick breath.
“It’s just that—this wedding with all its details and arrangements is consuming my entire relationship with my daughter. Adding another layer, telling her about what you and I have been doing lately—”
“I thought we had a few secrets. Just the two of us. You and me.” He couldn’t help himself. She’d left herself wide open for that one.
“Oh, Jonah.” She laughed on the reply.
He could imagine her face growing flush, her gaze lowering in a way that showed a sense of innocence. A vulnerability that he cherished every time it was revealed to him.
“You know what I mean.”
Do I? Do I really? You want a frickin’ silent partner. And I just don’t want to be that guy for you anymore. “Yeah I do.”
“I knew I could count on you to understand.”
Don’t overestimate what I’m willing to do for you. “That’s me. I’m one hell of an understanding guy, aren’t I?” He laughed at the end to cover any sarcasm. “I’ll be over within the hour, and we can decide what we want delivered.”
“I’ll see you then, and thank you.”
“No problem.”
Touching end on the screen, he slipped his phone into his pocket beside his wallet and snapped off the bedroom light.
Heading for the elevator that would take him down to his car, he previewed the evening that awaited.
Once he got to her house, they’d enjoy some wine, a little food, a lot of sex. Oh yeah, each other’s company if they happened to come up for air long enough to converse. Then, when her daughter summoned her for another exhaustive video chat, his job would be to sit quietly. Act like he wasn’t there. More like didn’t exist.
And never cease to marvel at how much he hated every minute.
****
As he walked through the door, Jonah brought the warmth of Cynthia’s body up against his, and touched his lips to hers.
But damned if he could stop there.
What he intended to be a lighthearted kiss hello became a deep and thorough assault of her mouth. Hands caressing her back to draw this woman closer, he bent her backward so far he had to brace one hand against the wall to steady them both. Whether she meant to or not, she shifted to move further into him, and he bit back a moan.
At that exact moment, a fractured form of some damned wedding tune chirped out of the damned computer. On a breath of regret, he released her mouth and brought his lips to rest on her forehead. “I know. You have to get that.”
“I do. For some reason, she’s calling ahead of time.”
She patted perfectly styled hair and straightened her collar before sitting down in front of the computer screen.
After a brief, very brief greeting, her daughter started in on the latest crisis that had prompted the early call. “What if the dresses don’t arrive on time? My bridesmaids will end up wearing jeans and tank tops. Or nothing at all.”
“At least I won’t be naked.”
By its nature, Cynthia’s statement caught his attention. Sure as hell got that right.
“My dress is already pressed and hanging in my closet.”
“My entire wedding will be ruined.”
“Your entire wedding will certainly not be ruined over a few missing dresses.” Cynthia hazarded a glance his way. Could it be she was getting as sick of the particulars of their little arrangement as he was?
“Clothes are sometimes very overrated.”
“What?”
“If nothing else, your attendants can wear dresses purchased off the rack. There’s still plenty of time for that.”
“We’ll never find five identical dresses off the rack, Mother.”
“Who says all five have to be identical? Similar styles. The same color in different styles. It will be unique.”
“I don’t want unique. I want perfect.”
“Oh, sweetheart, then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment after disappointment as you go into the future, I’m afraid. Variety is the spice of life.”
Letting the two female voices move to the background, Jonah focused on his own thoughts. It wasn’t that he resented the intrusion of her daughter into their time together. Or even actually considered the calls all that intrusive.
Okay. Scratch that. This latest call had been damned intrusive.
The reality was, he missed Cynthia’s undivided attention. Her conversation. Her companionship. Regardless of his partner’s motives, Jonah was not here merely for the sex.
Not that he’d want to do without it. He just had no doubt he could—do without it—if he wanted to. At least temporarily. He glanced down at his lap. Unlike during his younger years, this current disruption hadn’t left him with a still raging erection and a profound impatience to be satisfied.
In an odd way, listening to Cynthia as she soothed, suggested compromise, solved another’s problem, left him with a deep peace he could easily get used to.
Being around this woman gave him a true sense of—what the hell would you call it—confidence to—hell, he didn’t know—a confidence for…
Maybe confidence in his ability to really live again.
“Sounds good, sweetheart. I’ll talk to you then.”
Jonah glanced up as the light from the screen illuminating Cynthia’s face, blinked, fluttered and went dark.
Then she rose from her chair and came over. “How do other mothers get through the planning of their daughters’ weddings?”
He patted the seat beside him and extended his other arm toward her. “Exactly the way you are.”
The moment she sat, it was second nature for his arms to immediately go around her. More so when she burrowed in to rest her head against his chest and lay her palm flat on top of his thigh.
“I’m not positive I’m going to survive this.”
Smoothing the hair back from her temple, he kissed the place he’d just touched. “Sure you will. And when the day arrives, you’ll go and have a wonderful time.”
“You have more faith in me than I—” She nestled closer for a second then sat up and turned to face him. “It would be nice if you could go with me, but I just—”
When she stopped speaking and looked away, he brought his hand up to massage the tension from the back of her neck. He opened his mouth, but shut it again when he failed to come up with something worth saying.
“It would be too complicated to explain to Jen. I mean, a minor ordering mishap throws her into a tizzy. The knowledge her mother has become involved with someone—” Her voice dropped off again.
Jonah did his best to combat an internal flinch when she stumbled over the true definition of their relationship. Then decided against helping her define it. “You’ll enjoy the day and probably be sad when the party’s over and the last guest leaves.”
“Or be so relieved, I won’t be able to stand it. There’s so much planning involved.” Her hands splayed out in front of her and began to tremble. “Between you and me, I’ve pretty much had my fill of trying to talk her off of any number of figurative ledges these past few weeks.”
“Hey. You’ll be fine. I believe in you.” Capturing her wrists, he wrapped her against him and smiled as he felt her relax.
Her arms came to rest on top of his as they circled her from behind. She leaned her head back on his shoulder and sighed. “You are so good for me right now. And, these days I’m not up to planning beyond now.”
“At the rate you’re going, do you think you ever will be?”
Though she didn’t turn around to look at him, she definitely tensed. For the first time, he had no inclination to massage his way out of it.
“What brought that on?” The question came at him from over her shoulder when he’d half expected
her to sit up and push away from him.
“Isn’t this getting a little old?”
“Are you saying what we’re doing doesn’t work for you anymore?”
She still hadn’t turned to face him, and he could only guess at the emotions trailing across her features.
“Just saying it might be nice to go out somewhere once in a while. Dinner maybe? A movie?”
He could have sworn her rigid body eased. “I’m willing to do dinner and a movie.”
“Say, next Saturday night. Dinner at least. I’ll pick you up.”
“Okay.”
“How about six?”
“Six is good.”
He left it at that. Not wanting to hear whatever answer, slash excuse she was bound to come up with if he requested more.
Then again, he could always walk away.
Chapter Eleven
Walking down the stairs, Cynthia smiled at the sudden peal of the doorbell. She hadn’t gotten ready one moment too soon. Even if she had tried on and discarded more potential outfits than she cared admit to.
“Hello. You’re right on time.”
Standing in the open doorway, she darn near gasped. Jonah wore well cut casual slacks paired with a navy blue cable knit sweater and light blue button down collar of an oxford shirt filling in the V-neck plunge. The outfit was male model perfect by itself, but a butter soft black leather jacket afforded him a bad boy air.
Butterflies which had hovered in her mid-section the whole time she was getting ready for tonight finally took flight.
It was apparent he approved of the gray slacks and black angora sweater she wore. Feeling like the freshman who’d snared a date with the most sought after guy in the senior class, she became lost in a chocolate brown gaze filled with more promises she couldn’t ignore.
“You look beautiful.” He walked toward her, and she tilted her face upward. Taking her in his arms, he captured her lips. “And I’m the lucky guy who gets to take you out tonight.”
Letting her go, he helped her into the wine colored trench coat she cinched at the waist. “Looks like we’re both in the same boat, ’cause I’m feeling pretty fortunate myself.” Her smile was genuine and bright. Grabbing her purse, with Jonah’s arm around her shoulders, they walked out into the night. “So where are we going for dinner?”
“You’ll see when we get there.”
From the very beginning, Jonah made the evening perfect. Taking them around to her side of the car, getting her safely settled and shut inside before he took his place behind the wheel. Then reversed the process after they arrived at Cornell’s, a high priced seafood restaurant, with the very best shrimp cocktail ever created.
“My favorite place. But how did you know?”
He paused to take her hand as they approached the entrance. “Let’s just say I used my powers of observation.”
Ushering her through the door, that same hand was now placed thoughtfully on the small of her back. Silly or not, she considered herself the luckiest person in the world to be the woman Jonah chose to share this evening with.
As the hostess set menus down on a small, round table to one side of the dining room, she was sure Jonah would have pulled out the chair for her if the nimble footed maître d’ hadn’t hustled over to beat him to it.
They sat, they ordered and, in short, their perfect date continued without a hitch.
“And that was how we got that bird out of the court room.” Jonah’s laughter filled their little corner of the restaurant.
Cynthia leaned forward with a confidential air. “With no casualties reported.”
“I hadn’t thought about that incident in quite a while.” Jonah’s smile, when he gazed at her, warmed her all the way to her toes. “Or laughed about it in even longer.”
“You’re just fortunate that judge took pity on you.”
“He somehow knew it was my very first time before the bench. I try to emulate the spirit of that encounter every day when I’m in my own courtroom.”
Cynthia sat back to catch her breath. “I laughed so hard tonight my sides hurt.”
Jonah eyed her over the rim of the wine glass he’d just brought to his lips.
Remind me to massage those sides of yours later tonight. When we’re lying naked together.
What she expected him to say flashed through her mind.
“Maybe I should stop making you laugh then.” He paused to take a sip. “Because I’d never want to do anything to hurt you.”
She practically inhaled a healthy gulp from the glass he’d recently refilled for her. If she was honest with herself—brutally honest—she was sorely disappointed he hadn’t spoken her fantasy words. Disappointment which did nothing to squelch the visuals running through her imagination. Jonah’s hands swift and sure as they glided over her skin.
She took another swallow of wine, but the smooth liquid did nothing to neutralize the heat that rose up to clog her throat.
Don’t ever stop making me laugh, Jonah.
Closing her mouth before the thought could escape out loud, she poked at the remnants of a crusty roll on her bread plate. “It’s nice to laugh once in a while.”
“I’m glad you said that because—”
Looking up at him, she began to smile then grinned outright as he launched into another story about the goings on, behind the scenes, in a supposedly prim and proper courtroom.
They were both laughing again when Jonah finished. “Sometimes you have to laugh at the mishaps in life.”
“Or you’ll end up crying about them instead.” She quoted one of her clients without thinking too much about it.
“So true.”
“This has been nice, Jonah. Very, very nice.” She sat back as demitasse cups of liquor flavored coffees were delivered—whipped cream on both—as Jonah had insisted. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“I’m glad you accepted.”
Her response turned out to be a weak smile.
Their evening together was wonderful to say the least. So why did an unusual sense of regret slide through her every time she and Jonah took a short break from laughing?
Because their time together like this, like a normal, happy couple who enjoyed each other’s company—outside the bedroom as well as in—would soon end?
Then what?
Had she so diverted from the no strings and no commitments plan she had laid out for the rest of her life? Who knew if she had the ability to pull it off?
If she concentrated hard enough, she could see them going on this way for years. When she allowed herself to imagine the two of them together beyond the one night stand that had drifted on for the better part of a few weeks now. Truth was, she could see them together, but not too clearly.
Life’s simple pleasures. That’s what she intended to share with Jonah Colt. Life’s simple pleasures.
And none of its pain.
“So you’re having as good a time as I am?”
Startled out of her ponderings, she met his gaze and caught her breath. The warmth of Jonah’s hand as it covered hers crept up her arm then across her collarbone to make a direct hit on her heart. “Of course.”
“I like being with you. A lot.”
“I like being with you too.” Her voice remained breathy and faint as she gave the pat response.
She’d been so convinced she could do this. Have a sexual fling, the type where both parties get up afterward and go on with their lives as if nothing—and no one of consequence—had happened.
A short time later, while Jonah was busy settling up the check, she glanced over, and her gaze came to rest on the strength of his profile. Solid, resilient, attractive, caring, kind. Everything the little girl she’d once been had dreamed of having in a husband someday.
She blinked then made herself look away.
Her worst fear was being realized. She was falling in love—had fallen in love—with the man sitting across the table from her tonight. Now she needed to figure out how to fall out fast. Before a
ll of this was, inevitably, over.
“Are you ready to go home?”
“Any time you are.”
Despite all intentions to the contrary, she knew full well what going home with Jonah meant.
“Let’s leave, then.” He was at her side as she stood. Then his arm came around her waist as a matter of routine, and she was a goner.
A rush of emotion clogged her throat first, then continued to flood her eyes until a single tear broke loose. One she brushed away.
“—Colt, Sir.”
Jonah stopped and dropped his arm from her waist. “Rogers?”
Except for the sir, she didn’t hear exactly how he’d been addressed. Rogers was probably a one-time law clerk of Jonah’s. Or a student.
Which made perfect sense, until the two grown men embraced long and hard, as if their very lives were impacted at meeting like this. She was oddly reminded how some of her crime victims would treat each other at the end of a particularly difficult confession during group.
“How have you been, sir? It’s been a while since—”
Jonah’s response was quick and sure, his hand remained on the young man’s shoulder. “Doing great, Rogers. How about you?”
A name, she had a name. But nothing else to identify his relationship with Jonah.
“I’m getting back to it.” The other man dropped his gaze. “It’s a slow process.”
“Slow, but not endless.”
Cynthia picked up on a catch in Jonah’s voice as he cast a nervous glance her way.
She had scant time to contemplate any number of possible reasons behind the unusual connection as she and Jonah were introduced to Rogers’ parents.
“So you were Anthony’s commanding officer? It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.” If the father was having trouble holding in the emotion evident on his face, the mother wasn’t even trying.
Tears streaming along her cheeks, she stepped up to wrap her arms around Jonah and hold on. “You saved our son’s life.” She turned to address Cynthia. “Your husband saved our son’s life.”
“He is a wonderful man.”
Stunned, that was all she got out before she, too was buried in the woman’s grateful arms. From there, she listened carefully, wanting to absorb every word about Jonah these people knew.
Only If You Dare Page 9
