by Abby Ayles
A Broken Heart’s Redemption
A Historical Regency Romance Novel
Abby Ayles
Edited by
Elizabeth Connor
Copyright © 2018 by Abby Ayles
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Contents
Be a part of the Abby Ayles family…
Acknowledgements
A message from Abby
Introduction
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
32. Epilogue
The Extended Epilogue
Do you want more Historical Romance?
The Lady The Duke and The Gentleman
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Be a part of the Abby Ayles family…
Also By Abby Ayles
About the Author
Be a part of the Abby Ayles family…
I write for you, the readers, and I love hearing from you! Thank you for your on going support as we journey through the most romantic era together.
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Acknowledgements
Thank yous
Thank you to my parents for their ongoing support. You have turned the world upside down and inside out in order for me to pursue my dreams. I love you.
Thank you to my beta readers Laura Bayer, Janet Graves and an anonymous one. Interacting with you is so fun and I am so thankful to have you in my corner rooting for me every step of the way.
Thank you to my editorial team for helping bring my words to life in the exact way I envision them to be said. You push me to be better.
Thank you to the authors who inspire me. There is no world without love, and your books are the reason I’m here now.
Most importantly, thank you to my readers! Whether you are new to my work, or a loyal fan, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
A message from Abby
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed every page and I would love to hear your thoughts whether it be a review online or you contact me via my website. I am eternally grateful for you and none of this would be possible without our shared love of romance.
I pray that someday I will get to meet each of you and thank you in person, but in the meantime, all I can do is tell you how amazing you are.
As I prepare my next love story for you, keep believing in your dreams and know that mine would not be possible without you.
With Love
Introduction
A Broken Heart’s Redemption
Betrayed - Hopeless - Cynical - Romantic
Lucy cannot think of how to mend her broken heart after Duke Perry so cruelly manipulated her. And she cannot understand how all of society continues to fall for the farce of marriage. It is just a means to trade power and wealth, after all, isn't it? Her friends tell her to hold onto hope, her parents tell her to stop behaving so crudely, and her suitors tell her to treat them with more respect. But honestly, she does not wish to marry any more. The more men she puts off, the better.
In Baron Andrew Jones she meets another cynical heart, a man betrayed by his former fiancée, who abandoned him whilst he was travelling. Like Lucy, he believes marriage is just a way for some people to gain control over others. Most around him are disturbed by his coldness and bluntness. But in this black heart Lucy sees a few shreds of sweetness and hope which draw her in. Between their common suffering and these moments of tenderness, Lucy finds herself slowly doing something she had sworn never to do again: falling in love.
But the Baron is committed to a life free of all attachments, and Lucy is left with a terrible decision: Must she live her life as a mistress? Marry a man she does not love? Or commit herself to a life of chastity and pursue fulfilment through faith instead? Truthfully, none seem right for her. But can she win Lord Jones over before it is too late? Or is his heart?
Chapter 1
Lucy peered through the slightly open doorway and rolled her eyes. The young man was probably around her age, wearing very expensive clothes that neither fit nor flattered him properly. He stood with his right shoulder slouched and fiddled with a bookmark.
She continued to hesitate, watching his actions, wondering whether she even should bother with this one, or whether it would spare everyone’s emotions if she were to just walk away. Well, at least his emotions. It was not as though she intended to marry anyone at all, let alone someone as young and green as him.
She did not understand why her parents insisted on putting her through... this. Setting her up with the young sons of any and every man of some status in the area. Of course, all of them were of age. But they were all still naïve, coddled, ill-suited to courting a woman. They did not know how to dress themselves, where their family income came from, or what they would do when they were the man of the house.
She may as well have been dating schoolboys. They were that much less educated, less experienced, and less inquisitive than her. Some were even a few years younger than she was. At the very least her parents could have chosen her suitors she did not feel compelled to look down on.
Walking into the room she smiled as politely as she could manage. She would have to make something of an impression, after all. She had taken her time to dress up and make herself presentable and it would be a real shame if all that effort went unnoticed.
The young man grinned nervously and had the presence of mind to stand and bow as she curtsied. Some had not even managed this much. But then he was stuck. Still standing before his chair, he had forgotten what to do next. She waited a few more seconds for at the very least a handshake or a verbal greeting, but when none was forthcoming she quietly made her way to her seat and sat down.
Seeing her sit back down he seemed to realize that he could, fell backwards into his seat, and laughed nervously.
He was yet another buffoon. Back when she still had hopes for ideal love she found these behaviours to be a sort of endearing clumsiness, a little like seeing a kitten fall over i
ts own paws. But now she knew what men could really be like, she found his awkwardness repulsive. How could he be so innocently clumsy and yet at once be of the same sex as the man who had broken her heart?
The young man introduced himself as “Terrence” and asked her to call him by his first name, not his last one. Which was just as well considering that she could not remember the last name her mother had hurriedly told her the night before.
“My family owns a lot of land, so you would be well provided for,” he said with a smile.
“Farmers also own a lot of land,” Lucy retorted. She could not believe how blatantly some of these men tried to win her over with power and money.
He laughed nervously. “But I am not a farmer. I have a good name, I am strong and healthy, I have four private tutors...”
Lucy nodded and smiled. “I suppose you are a lion tamer also?” she asked. She could see that she was already beginning to get on his nerves. It would not take much more pressure to cause him to throw a fit and leave, vowing never to return. “Or, let me guess, a Saint?”
“I have never met a woman as rude as you,” he said, his expression somewhere between indignation and the verge of tears.
“Then you have never met an honest one.” Lucy raised her chin.
Her mind was telling her not to be so cruel. In many ways, it went against her core self, the way she had been her entire life. But her heart…nothing else protected her heart like pushing these men away. If she continued to be mean, perhaps it would chase all men away.
For good.
She had a multi-stage attack for breaking down the focus of any suitor who outlasted her cold shoulder. First, she would seek out his insecurities by picking on his flaws, to make him hate her. Then, she would mock his way of speaking, or his interest in her, to make him feel he was beneath her.
And if none of that worked she would turn to pure rudeness.
She had sped up the process a little bit for this young man. She wanted him gone, and fast. There was no chance at all and he needed to know that. She tried to tell herself that in the long run it would help him. Perhaps she would put him off trying to marry some other poor, naïve girl. But deep down she knew it helped only herself.
Terrence stood up and glared at her. “I do not know why I bother. All women my age are just stuck up brats. I ought to wait until I am older and time has made you nicer.”
And with that, he stormed out the room.
Lucy liked to pretend that their words never hurt her. The truth was, they always did. She was not stuck up, or prude. She was not just looking for money. She was not spoilt. She was simply disillusioned and afraid of ever trusting a man. She had learned that the hard way.
But if she said that she might endear herself to them, and they might try harder. If they believed she was a spoilt brat then they would likely not return. It was for the best. Wiping a single tear from her cheek, she stood up and left the room also.
Her mother, Baroness Fitzgerald, was waiting for her at the foot of the stairs, a look of exhausted frustration on her face. “I cannot believe you, Lucy.”
Lucy shrugged. “I did nothing. I dressed well, I did my makeup, I went to see him and talked to him just as you asked. I did not speak out of turn, I answered all his questions—”
“And if you did so like this, it is no wonder he left,” Lady Fitzgerald said, rubbing her temples. “How did you ever become so rude?”
Lucy bowed her head in slight shame.
“What did you say to him?” her mother asked.
“Nothing. I just answered his questions,” Lucy insisted.
“A man does not leave the house like that when 'nothing' happens... I have half a mind to chaperone your dates again myself,” she said.
“I suppose he isn't suited to me either,” Lucy remarked.
“No man is suited to a petulant child that answers back,” Lady Fitzgerald said with a stern glare.
Lucy shrugged. “I did my best. If they will not love me for who I am...”
“But this is not who you are,” her mother replied. “This is not the girl I knew, or the girl that came back from school. You are different. I can only hope it is a phase.”
“And if it is not?” Lucy asked.
Her mother shook her head. “Very well, just... leave.”
Lucy knew better than to reply when her mother asked her to leave. It would invariably result in being banished to her room for a day or more. She just nodded, curtsied, and went off to have a nice, quiet walk in the gardens.
She did not care if her mother sat in on her meetings with her suitors. Lady Fitzgerald had done this before and even then, it only took one or two dates for them to become disinterested. Lucy had her little ways of getting under their skin so that her mother would not notice she was doing so on purpose. She could be under the watch of an entire room of chaperones and still find a way to put her suitors off her.
She felt a little sad about this. She and her mother had been so close when she was little. But their values had become starkly divided as Lucy grew older, and now what her mother wanted for her and expected from her in no way reflected her own ideals.
Lucy could not bear to tell her mother the truth. That she was rejecting these men on purpose. And it was all because of... him. Because of that outrageous man who had made her fall in love with him, only to sweep the carpet out from under her feet and leave her confused and angry as he married her best friend.
Antoinette, she could forgive. After all, one could not help who they fell in love with. What she could not forgive was Duke Perry's deceit leading up to the incident. If he had never loved her, then why had he given her the impression he did? Why had he allowed her to fall so deeply in love with him? It all came down to one thing...
“It is all just money, money, money with men,” Lucy sighed as she sipped tea with her friend, Mary.
“Not all of them,” Mary assured her. “Many men are very pleasant to spend time with.
Lucy wrinkled her nose and said nothing.
“You cannot continue to run from love because of Duke Perry,” Mary said.
Mary was not as close a friend to her as Antoinette had been. In many ways, despite the physical and emotional distance between them, Antoinette was still Lucy's best friend. But she needed to have someone to talk to, to share these thoughts with, to spend time with. She could not simply bottle them up forever.
And Mary, as Antoinette's cousin, was also a valued friend to Lucy, and came a close second when it came to good advice. Except now.
“Look at myself and Christopher,” Mary continued to elaborate. “We have had our ups and our downs, and we both have our flaws, but above all he is a good man.”
“It is different for you, I suppose. But there are many people who are unhappy in marriage,” Lucy insisted. “And I have no intention of joining them.”
“Then be careful who you choose to marry,” Mary replied. “Rejecting everyone will just cause you more heartache when you realize how many good men you have hurt and pushed out of your life.”
Lucy sipped her tea again and sighed a little. “But how can I tell a good man from a bad one? I thought I had found the best man in the world and that was all a facade. What looks like a good man... anything could be lurking behind that character. I almost married Duke Perry. I thought he loved me.”
“But you did not marry him,” Mary countered.
“Only because he became a Duke and had enough money to marry his sweetheart,” Lucy said with a huff. “Had he remained poor he would have continued permitting me to believe he loved me until he was nice and secure.”
“It would not have happened if it was not supposed to,” Mary insisted.
Lucy could not see why Mary was so determined to defend men. Her man was fine, sure. She was lucky. But Lucy had courted many more men in the last year than Mary had done in her whole life. Lucy had the true volume of experience here. And men were most definitely in it for the money and little else.
“All sorts of things happen which are not supposed to,” Lucy finally said. “So many people are miserable in their marriages.”
Mary shook her head. “You will understand these things in time. But romance is not all fairy tales. Things happen that will make you angry, people do things that disappoint you. But when a man and a woman are united by God, these little things melt away and the bigger picture takes over.”
But she already understood. And that was precisely why she was not going to get married. Ever. Lucy used to believe in the fairy tale version of romance. She had liked that version. It was nice. It was fun. It was natural. Two perfect souls coming together, overcoming all kinds of odds in the name of love, and being just right for one another and living happily ever after without a single argument. The fairy tale was the good version.
The real version of romance just did not live up to her ideal. And so, she would not have it. She wanted the perfect romance or nothing at all, and if the perfect romance did not exist, then she would choose nothing.
“Let us talk of more pleasant matters,” she said, forcing out a smile. “I have seen our roses are beginning to bloom. How are yours doing?”
