The mamasan talk to me and say I can work in her bar and not go with customer. Just collect and wash glasses and talk to customer behind bar and serve drinks, but not go with customer. Mamasan say I make more money than selling flowers. So I agree and I start work in bar. Very first night I very scare. One lady give me sexy dress to wear and put make-up on me. I feel so scare and shy and when I try to talk to customers I start to cry. Dean was sitting in the bar and he see that I very upset and ask me what is wrong. I tell him everything and he say to me he not let me work in bar, that I too nice to be bar girl. Dean take me out of bar straight away and he pay for me to stay in a nice room. He pay rent for 3 months in one go. He say better I just sell flowers and he will also take care of me. He buy me clothes and give me money for food. He buy me mobile phone and pay for top up. Nobody ever be nice to me before and I love him. He tell me that he want me to be his wife and I say yes. He let me stay in his hotel with him for rest of his holiday and he show me how to make love. He tell me every day he love me and he say that he was going to sell his house when he gets back to England and then come back to Thailand and marry me. I so happy and so excited because I love him true and I think I have good future now. Dean was on holiday with his friends, but after he meet me he take me everywhere with him and his friends. We have lovely holiday and I cry and very sad when he had to go home at the end of the month. He promise he come back and see me soon and, when he sell his house, he come to live in Thailand and marry me. We make business with a bar for farang. I tired now, Sa-teven. My brain tired.”
“OK” I said and I kissed her on the cheek.
The late afternoon had turned into early evening and we sat amongst the palms and watched the red sun slowly dropping into the sea. It was simply beautiful and probably the most romantic moment that I had ever experienced. I loved being with Pin. She snuggled up to me and we sat with our arms around each other, just silent and watching the last of the red sun disappear from our view. She kissed me so gently on my neck, my whole body tingled.
We got on the motorbike and I drove back to Karon Beach. I stopped on Patak Road.
“Where do you want me to take you to Pin?”
“I want to stay with you Sa-teven.”
“Wow! Really?”
“Jing jing.” (Really) She nodded and smiled.
“Are you sure Pin?”
“You not want me to stay with you?”
“Oh God yes! I want very much. I really like you Pin. I more than really like you. I have a feeling about you that I have never had with anyone else before.”
“I stay with you please, Sa-teven.” Pin wrapped her arms around me and I could feel her bump pressing against my back. She rested her head on my back and I drove the short distance to my hotel.
We walked back along Patak Road and found a lovely seafood restaurant. I ordered two fresh lobsters for me and Pin. We sat and ate and drank by the light of the candles on our table. It was romantic and it was perfect. I noticed several of the staff looking at us and smiling. I guess everyone loves a romance! After the meal we strolled along Patak Road hand in hand and then slowly headed back to my hotel. The girls in the two bars at the top of the cul-de-sac did their usual waves and squeals. I waved back to them with my free hand and Pin giggled.
When I collected my room key from the reception the girl didn’t even ask Pin for her ID. She must have known that she was not a bar girl. She just smiled at me and wished me a pleasant evening and I didn’t get the sense that there was any sort of underlying sarcastic meaning or sexual innuendo. I just said ‘thank you’ and I walked to the room hand in hand with Pin. I felt a calm and a happiness that I had never ever felt before in my life. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it was almost as if the whole reason that I had been drawn to Thailand was just to meet Pin. I knew that I was in love with her, but it was too soon and I was too shy to tell her.
“Can I take shower please?” whispered Pin, putting her hand in front of her mouth as she whispered it. She looked so cute. I just wanted to hold her and never let her go.
“Yes, of course. Help yourself.”
Pin went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. I heard the water running and she seemed to take forever before she came back into the room with the white towel wrapped around her. Her hair was glistening and wet. She held her clothes in a neatly folded bundle and placed them on the chair.
“Wow Pin! You look so beautiful” I gulped.
Pin slid between the sheets before removing her towel and handing it to me to hang up in the bathroom. She was careful to keep the sheet pulled up over her breasts, keeping herself covered as she slid further down the bed. I showered before I joined Pin in bed. I climbed in next to her and wrapped my arms around her soft warm body. We kissed and it was wonderful. It wasn’t the Thai sort of sniffing kiss. It was proper kissing. It was gentle and passionate and felt different from any other kiss that I had ever had. We kissed and caressed and made love. OK, I have already told you that I am not very experienced in that department, but I can tell you that this was the best that I had ever felt in all my life. When I felt myself inside her I had a sudden panic attack. I didn’t want it all to be over in a few seconds and I knew that I couldn’t keep blaming it on jet lag. It was almost as if Pin could sense it and she held my face in both her hands and kissed me.
“Slowly Sa-teven. Slowly. Relax, not panic. Everything OK. You perfect for me, just relax.”
An amazing thing happened and I did relax. I sort of just took control of the feelings that were swirling around inside me. I controlled my breathing and stopped grunting. I felt relaxed and I felt happy. I controlled and directed the feeling and emotion into our love making. The longer I lasted the more confident I was feeling. Suddenly I felt like a proper lover, a real man and not the inadequate child that I had always been in the past. Pin had made me into a man.
As we were making love I whispered to her.
“I knew that I loved you as soon as I saw you.”
“Thank you my darling. Thank you for loving me. I need you to love me” she whispered back to me.
“I do. I really do. I love you.”
“Yes, I can feel your love. It is important you love me.”
“I love you Pin.”
After we made love we kissed a lot and held onto each other. I rubbed her pregnant tummy. I kissed it and talked to the baby inside. I wished it was my baby. I had the overwhelming feeling that I needed to take care of both of them. I had such a strong feeling of love for the mother and the baby. I loved them both. I wanted to protect them and make everything as good as I could for them. We held each other as we chatted.
“What happened with Dean?” I asked wanting to know and not wanting to know at the same time.
“When he go back to England he ring me every day at 6:00pm Thai time and we talk for ten minutes. He say that he ring me in his dinner time when he at work. He never want me to ring him, but I don’t care because he ring me every day and every month he send me money so I not work in bar. I make promise to him and I never do work in bar again. Dean tell me that he was trying to sell his house and soon he will come to live in Thailand and marry me. We talk about what business we can make. Dean tell me how much he misses me and after another two months he came back to stay with me again. This time he came on his own, but can only stay for two weeks. He tell me every day how much he loves me and we make love every day. I think he is my future and I am very happy. After two weeks he went back to England and again every day he ring me at 6:00pm Thai time. After another two months I know I am pregnant. I was excited but I was also scare. I ring Dean to tell him the news. He very angry because I ring him and he not talk about me pregnant or about the baby. He just shout that I ring him, because he say I break the rules. I cry very much, but later he ring me back and say sorry. He say he very happy. He wanted to have baby after w
e marry, but no problem. He start to send me more money to buy things for the baby. He tell me that he will come back to Thailand in another few months. He come back after four months, but he is different. I think something change, but he say everything the same and no problem. He get many phone calls on his mobile this time and argue with lady from England. I ask him if he has wife in England and he get very angry with me. He say no have wife, just lady customer. He fix her car in his garage and she not happy, so she keep ringing him to make argument. I think this not true, but he get very angry when I try to speak to him anything. With all the money he give me I buy him a gold necklace. I hope it make him happy, but he not happy. His mood angry every day. He make me very scare. You want to see photo, Sa-teven?”
“Photo of what?”
“Photo of Dean.”
“If you want me to see” I said, really not wanting to look at her ex-boyfriend.
She got out of bed and went to her purse wrapped up in her clothes on the chair. Her nakedness was beautiful. She got a photo from her purse and unfolded it before she handed it to me. A bald-headed middle aged man looked back at me. I thought he had a sly smile and I hated him.
“He looks older than 48” I said.
Pin just laughed and kissed my cheek. The man in the photo was not really fat but he had a little beer belly. A pot belly. He was wearing little round gold rimmed glasses and a sleeveless T-shirt and some baggy shorts. He had a tattoo on his left calf. It was a snake wrapped around a dagger, with the letters LUFC above the dagger and the words ‘Leeds until I die’ under the dagger. I thought that he was as ugly as his tattoo and I just didn’t like the bloke.
“Sorry Pin” I said, handing her back the photo. “I wish you hadn’t showed me his photo. I just hate the bloke and I am sure that he was married. What happened in the end with you two?”
“I’m tired now, Sa-teven. We sleep now and I tell you everything tomorrow.”
“OK, darling.” Wow! I had just called her Darling. I was 38 years old and that was the very first time I had ever called anyone Darling. And I meant it. It was also the first time that I had ever told anyone that I loved them. And I meant that too.
We kissed and made love again before we fell asleep in each other’s arms. I thought that I was in heaven and I felt a warmth and happiness that I had never experienced before.
When I awoke in the morning Pin was already gone. I had not heard her leave. I felt an overwhelming happiness and calmness. I knew that I would see Pin later and although I was a bit disappointed that she wasn’t still in my arms, I was so happy that we had become so close. I showered and went for a swim in the pool before I showered again and went for breakfast. I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something really special had happened between Pin and I last night and I couldn’t stop smiling.
I was really happy when I walked out of the front of the hotel and into the bright sunshine and saw Pin sitting on my motorbike. She smiled, waved, hopped off the bike and came running into my arms. I swung her around and we kissed. I have to tell you that there was no doubt that I really felt like the happiest man in the whole world. I noticed the reception staff all smiling at us. I think everyone was happy for us. I got on the bike and Pin climbed on behind me and wrapped her arms around me. We had decided to ride up to the Big Buddha high up on the hill just outside Chalong. It was a steep winding road that took us to the top. We lit candles and incense, stuck gold leaf on the Buddhas, prayed and walked around and took in the amazing views of Phuket Island. I banged a few gongs and made a wish. They say that if you make a wish and tell someone what you wished then it won’t come true. But I’ll tell you. I wished that I could spend the rest of my life with Pin. We found a bench away from the crowds of people and sat in the shade of some cocoanut trees.
“So what happened in the end between you and Dean?” I asked. “How did it end?”
“Dean was not the same. He angry with me all the time and he start drink too much. When I try to ask him anything about his life in England or about the future in Thailand he get very angry and then he start hitting me.”
“Oh, my God!” I gasped.
“At first he say sorry so much and say he drink too much and he really very sorry. He kiss me a lot and say he never do again, but he do again. He started to hit me for everything and I was very scare. He not the same man who I fall in love with. Then one day he had been drinking and he was asleep in the afternoon. My face was big and bruise same-same your face now, but without the sunburn. His mobile phone ring. I see it number from England and I answer phone. English lady say ‘Who the fuck are you?’ I say her that I am girlfriend of Dean. She say me ‘Dean Wilkinson is my husband you fucking chinky-eyed bitch.’ I very scare now. I tell her that he promise to marry me and that he is trying to sell house in England to come and live with me and that we get married soon. I tell her that I am pregnant and me and Dean have baby soon. I ask her if she really married to Dean or just girlfriend. She say me that they have two children and they are married already 18 years. I know then that Dean tell me lie from the start. He not good man. He already married with wife and children in England, so I don’t know why he tell me so many lies and pretend to have life with me. His wife is also crying on the phone. Sometimes she is calm and want to know everything about me and ask how Dean meet me and what he say to me. Ask me everything he say about the future. She tell me her name is Debbie and they have two boys who not easy to take care and the oldest boy already in prison. She worry the youngest boy also go to prison soon. Sometimes she not calm and get angry with me and scream that I am a whore and steal her husband and that she is going to kill me. I just keep say ‘Sorry’ so much to her. She ask me what I am going to do with baby and she say, if it is a little girl, then they will take the baby and give me money. I say I not want. She ask where Dean is now and I say he is here asleep in bed. She say wake him up she want to talk to him, but I so scare. I say he hit me again if I wake him up. She tell me that he has hit her for the last 20 years and she say I deserve to be beaten because I steal all persons husbands. She start screaming again and I close the phone and go for walk on the beach. I not want to be there when Dean wake up and his wife ring him again. I don’t know what he do to me now. I think he be very angry that I speak to his wife and now I know the truth about everything and I know he lie so much. I have no family to help me and take care of me so I very scare. I not know what to do.”
“Oh Pin. That’s terrible. So what happened?”
“Sa-teven, come on. I’ll take you to secret place and then I’ll tell you how it all end.”
We went back to Karon Beach, walked along the beach and then along Patak Road. I liked walking along with my arm around Pin. We walked past food sellers and markets. We sat at a table near to one of the street vendors, who was cooking and selling BBQ chicken and bags of sticky rice. We ate the delicious food and washed it down with a bottle of Cola.
“Is this the secret place?” I asked. Pin laughed before she could answer me.
“Oh, Sa-teven. You so funny. No this is just eating place, I show you secret place later. Secret place very special to me. I like you so much Sa-teven. You very good man.”
I was having another perfect day with Pin and I loved every minute of it.
After we had eaten Pin grabbed my hand and we walked back to my motorbike. We rode back down the hill towards Karon Beach and Pin directed me along a coastal road between Karon Beach and Rawai Beach. We rode along the road for a while and the views were simply breathtaking. Pin tapped me on the shoulder and she signalled me to turn off. I rode down a dirt track towards the sea. We stopped at a little grassy area that had enough palm trees to give some good shade from the tropical sun. I walked to the edge and looked down at the sea only about 20 feet below me. If I was brave I could probably dive in from here, but I wasn’t brave and it would be a hell of a climb back up to Pin. It was a beautif
ul place, very quiet and off the beaten track. The views out over the Andaman Sea were just spectacular. I liked Pin’s secret place. It did feel special and secret and I was honoured that she had brought me here. It seemed like a fitting place to hear the end of Pins story.
“Wow Pin! This place is beautiful. I love it here.”
The Flower Girl Page 6
