by Meg Xuemei X
When he finally let her slide down, her hands were pressing against his broad chest. His heartbeat throbbed against her palms. His scent of sunlight and ocean and espresso disconcerted her for a second. He was both familiar and strange, which made her desperately want to reclaim him.
“Why didn’t you bring guards?” He was suddenly furious. “Shouldn’t you at least bring Duncan?”
Lucienne raised an eyebrow. “I thought you wanted to see me alone.”
“No matter how much I want that, we can’t act impulsively and irresponsibly anymore,” he said. “Not while the Sealers are after you. If I’d known you’d come alone, I’d have picked you up. You’re still as reckless as ever.”
“Look who’s talking,” she said. “You know you can’t go to the Red Mansion.”
He looked at her unhappily. “Why can’t you develop some sense of self-preservation?”
“Did you bring me here to pick up a fight?” she demanded.
“I don’t want to fight you.” He sighed. “I blame myself. It isn’t safe for you to step outside Sphinxes. But when I knew you were in Chicago, I just couldn’t pass up the chance to see you.”
“I needed to see you, too,” she said, “about Nexus Tear.” As soon as she said it, she regretted it, especially when she caught fleeting disappointment in his eyes. She came to meet him because she missed him. Why didn’t she just say so?
“That’s also the main reason I must see you,” he said.
As they settled in their seats across from each other, Lucienne noticed the half-open loft offered exclusivity while they could oversee the downstairs lounge.
She eyed the burning candle and a single red rose on the white-draped table. On the red plate were chocolate soufflé with strawberries.
“Lucia.” He took a breath before continuing. “I was wrong about Nexus Tear.”
She waited.
“It isn’t a weapon,” he said, watching her. “It’s the missing piece to your Siren’s insignia.”
“How did you know?”
“Bayrose found out. She’s the girl you met at Schmidt’s.”
“But she told you it was a weapon in the first place.”
“I wanted her to dig deeper, so she did.”
Lucienne pressed a finger against her cheek. “Why would she do that for you?”
“She wants to help me.” Vladimir tried to keep his voice flat, but Lucienne sensed his evasiveness. “Like many nice, eager teenage girls.”
“And you trusted this nice, eager teenage girl on such crucial information?”
“I tested her, and she hasn’t violated my trust. So yes, I consider her reliable.”
Lucienne felt the sting of his words. She hadn’t proved trustworthy so he had left her. “I guess Bayrose is more than reliable,” she said. “She’s lovely.”
“She’s hot,” Vladimir said with a knowing smile.
“I’m glad you met some hot girls.” Lucienne managed an even tone.
“What else do you think of Bayrose?” Vladimir asked.
“You’re asking the wrong girl,” she said. For a second, she had lost her usual coolness, her tone dripping acid. “I don’t think of her like you do. I only met her once, but obviously, you two adore each other.”
Vladimir’s grin grew wider. “You sound jealous.”
A flash of anger blended with humiliation and jealousy. A muscle twitched under her eyes. She only hoped Vladimir didn’t catch that movement. “I’m not jealous, Blazek,” she said, keeping her expression and voice composed. “On the contrary, I’m very happy for you two, especially for you. You’re a great guy, who no doubt deserves a wonderful girl.”
She fed a spoon of chocolate into her mouth and bit hard. Chocolate soufflé was one of her favorite desserts, but this time it tasted sour on her tongue.
“Mmm, delicious.” Setting aside the spoon, she met Vladimir’s gaze. “Don’t fret about the vows you made. They meant nothing. I’m releasing you from them.”
Vladimir’s smug grin faded. The muscles in his jaw twisted in anger. Lucienne watched him through her eyelashes. Always quick-tempered, she thought, picking up another bite of soufflé from the red plate, her pinkie in the gesture of an orchid finger.
“You tried that before and it didn’t work. My vow is for a lifetime,” he declared as suspicion darkened his eyes. Even the reflection of the candlelight failed to lighten their deep hazel. “Are you trying to find an excuse to dump me?”
“What are you talking about?” She glared back at him.
“If I’m out of your way, then you can be with Ashburn Fury,” he said. The biting look he gave her dared her to deny it. “Is that it?”
“It was a mistake for me to come,” Lucienne said, tossing the strawberry back on the plate, no longer concealing the resentment in her eyes. “Do whatever you want. Be with whoever you want.” She rose from her chair, extracted a hundred dollar bill from her purse, and flung it to the table. “Tell the waiter to keep the change.” She pushed her chair away and turned to leave.
Vladimir blocked her. His hand grabbed her forearm.
Lucienne stared hard at his strong hand around her arm, then at him. The Siren’s icy look was potent, but he didn’t flinch. Instead, he pulled her into his arms as if it were his right.
She struggled half-heartedly. His grip on her only tightened.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered in her ear. His warm breath on her cheek made her skin tingle. “When I’m jealous, I become an infuriating idiot. The closer I want to get to you, the further I push you away.” Frustration laced in his voice. “I don’t know how to act when it comes to you.”
Wasn’t she the same way? She lashed out when feeling insecure. She wanted to be close to him, but often wound up driving him away. Tonight she had only a few stolen hours with him; she shouldn’t waste another minute fighting.
She slid her fingers into his braided hair. “You’re an infuriating idiot even when you aren’t jealous,” she said. As she clung to him, getting familiar with him again, her chest tightened with a foreboding fear that one day they would drift apart with the world, other people, and even themselves between them.
Vladimir pulled the chair up with his foot. He seated himself before setting Lucienne on his lap. “Idiot I might be,” he said, “but my love for you will never change.”
“I won’t hold you to that.” She touched his face.
She needed to accept that things changed. Things had changed between them since she had first met him in Desert Cymbidium. They had become different people, especially during these few months apart.
How long could his feelings for her last while all odds were against them? But while she still had him, she would cherish every moment.
“There are many pretty girls out there,” she said, resting her cheek against his throat. “It’s okay for you to like them. Even you can’t deny how gorgeous Bayrose is.”
Vladimir frowned. “I didn’t realize you had insecurity issues.”
“Insecurity issues?” Lucienne snapped, ready to leave his lap, until his arms fastened around her waist. “Other girls can be touched. I cannot,” she said matter-of-factly, though the truth pained her more than anything. “I might never be able to give you what you want. I know what that does to a man, especially a man like you.”
“A man like me? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Physical pleasure is essential to you, and you’ve held back for almost three years. How long can you hang in here? It’s cruel for me to not let you go, to not release you from our bond. I’m not like, ‘if I can’t have you, no one else can.’ Your happiness is important to me. So I’m giving you my blessing to be with any woman you choose.”
“You’re so ready to give up on me?”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Fight for me!” His tone spat fire. “I won’t love any woman other than you. I can’t. I’ve tried. I just can’t. It’s impossible for me to be attracted to them ever since I fell fo
r you. You’ve marked me as yours. I’ve tasted how it is to be with you. Everything and everyone else pale in comparison to the feeling I get when I’m around you, even though I’m forbidden to have you.”
Pain filled his hazel eyes, shadowing them to dark ember. “Even if you can move on, I can’t. Call me selfish, call me whatever you want, but I’ll not let any other man have you. You promised that one day we’d be together. So, no, I’ll not release you. And I know you’re a warrior of honor. As long as I stay true to you, you won’t move on either.”
Lucienne gasped. She didn’t expect his feelings for her to go so deep. Sorrow descended upon her shoulders.
He had once been a notorious playboy, but her love for him had handicapped him. Had she done this to him or had the Siren’s power maimed him? Jed told her once that the Siren’s love was irresistible and poisonous.
“One day I had the weirdest vision.” Vladimir’s voice croaked as if he recalled a mournful incident. His calloused thumb tracked her cheekbone. “I watched you and Ashburn fencing, and then you leaned forward to kiss him.” He let out a shaky breath. “There was nothing I could do to stop it. So I begged. I’ve never begged anyone in my life, but I begged you not to do it, not to forget about me.” He buried his face in her hair, as if he couldn’t bear to summon the sight of her kissing Ashburn again.
A shiver passed over Lucienne. Only she knew that wasn’t a vision. She almost kissed Ash when their fencing turned into a dance. She stopped only when she heard Vladimir calling, “Don’t do this to me again, láska. Don’t give up on me, on us….”
She thought she had a supernatural bond only with Ashburn. How could Vladimir have reached her metaphysically? Perhaps through his desperation? If she kissed Ash that day, there would be a third, and then endless ones. Ashburn’s lips once made her forget the whole world amid smoke, fire, and her loyal warriors’ bodies on the battlefield.
Their second kiss would have made a choice for her. The Lure would claim her. Vladimir and she would never have a chance again.
“You confused me, Vlad. You said Bayrose is hot. You obviously can feel—”
“I feel nothing for her,” Vladimir said. “I liked to see that you’re jealous, but I forgot how much you hate to be teased. Bayrose, Rosemary, or whoever, are all pretty paper flowers to me.”
Lucienne wriggled her nose. “There’s a Rosemary, too?”
Vladimir’s eyes sparkled.
Lucienne inserted her fingers into his hair and twisted his braids playfully, pulling his head backwards so she could look into his eyes. She read that he was true to her, from beginning to end. “You have no idea how jealous I can be,” she said, “when I picture you and other girls together.”
“For real?” His smile broadened.
“I don’t like it when I’m that way.”
“But it turns me on.” He chuckled and picked up the chocolate strawberry she had tossed back. After she took a bite, he moved the rest toward his mouth.
This simple gesture was so intimate that it made Lucienne hot for him all over again. Then she remembered what he forgot—the DNA in her saliva was poisonous to him. She snatched the fruit before it reached his lips. He blinked in puzzlement, and then hurt started forming in his eyes.
Lucienne inserted the leftover strawberry into her mouth and put on a lovely smile. It quickly disarmed him. “Did Bayrose know about your coming to see me?” she asked, intending to use the elder’s daughter to distract him. Then she picked a strawberry wrapped in rich chocolate from the plate and offered it to him. After he took a bite, she put the other half into her mouth.
He suddenly understood. Profound sadness sank in his eyes, along with love for her. And his love was stronger than his sorrow. “I don’t have a habit of laying my secrets bare to everyone,” he said, “except to you.”
“She changed her story about Nexus Tear.” Lucienne cocked her head. “But I already knew it was the last element to my—insignia.”
“How?” Vladimir regarded her intently.
“Ashburn told me.”
A pause. Then, “And you trust him with such crucial information?”
“His databank is gold, you know that.”
“Every database has flaws.”
“Ashburn hasn’t been wrong on all—many things,” Lucienne said, as detached as she could. She didn’t want him to get jealous again. “He isn’t wrong about Nexus Tear. A fragmented memory from my insignia has confirmed what he said.”
“What else does he know about your insignia?” Vladimir asked casually.
Vladimir always craved to know her every secret. If he could, he would dip his hand into her veins to know how her blood flowed.
“He has my ancestors’ memories,” Lucienne said nonchalantly.
“But not yours.” He inhaled. “I’ve been thinking about this. He has everyone’s memories but yours. That makes you special to him.”
It was more than that. Ash and she had more than that. But it wouldn’t be wise for her to tell Vladimir.
“Do you prefer to talk about Ashburn the whole night?” she asked.
“I just wondered why he doesn’t have your memories.”
“My Siren’s power blocks his sight.”
“Your insignia doesn’t like me,” he said drily, “but it approves of him. I still can’t figure out how he could kiss—”
Lucienne always knew this touchy subject would come one day. “—me without being burned?” she finished the question for him.
That reality hurt him more than anything, more than the kissing itself. His dead look was still raw in her mind, and Lucienne never wanted to see him broken like that again.
“The TimeDust in him overrides the prohibition from my Siren’s insignia,” she said. “It decided that he and I are destined mates. It’s been driving us together.”
Vladimir watched her closely. Lucienne could tell he sensed how uncomfortable she was talking about her relationship with Ash, but she owed him an explanation, though she wouldn’t and couldn’t tell him the whole truth.
“I saw how you were drawn to him when you first met him,” he said.
Lucienne raised an eyebrow.
“Through the satellite footage,” he added, and Lucienne cursed Ziyi in her head. She should teach her friend how to be discreet.
“Is it TimeDust?” asked Vladimir.
“Yes.”
“Your body responds to his power?”
“It does.” Lucienne swallowed, feeling like she had been caught again.
“And his power has never stopped working on you?”
“No.” She looked impassive, yet her anger was mounting.
“So—”
Her back straightened. “You want to turn tonight into an interrogation?” She pulled away from him, ready to leave his lap and never come back.
“Not so fast, miláček,” he said. His arms on her waist were like iron bars. “You’re short tempered. I was trying to estimate the odds against us.”
“You should know better than toying with me.”
“I wouldn’t try, knowing you,” he said. “I just wish you could have told me, and I could have been there for you, rather than leaving you alone to struggle against his power.”
Lucienne narrowed her eyes. Vladimir usually seemed insane when he was jealous.
“It’s not like I haven’t seen his power,” he said. “He can block a satellite and provide energy for a whole town. No ordinary girl can fight power like that.”
“How could you know I resisted him?” Lucienne whispered.
“If you surrendered,” he said, “you wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t have wept when I left. You wouldn’t have had that joyful look when you spotted me in that psychopath’s lab.” Tenderness brimmed in his eyes. “Just look how you look at me now, I’d give up everything for you. If you do not love me, you wouldn’t resist a perfect man like Ashburn Fury.”
She drew a sharp breath and exhaled. Yes, she had been struggling against the Lure, b
ut things had changed between Ash and her. Their connection went beyond the program and their predestined bond. In Vladimir’s absence—when she had thought he had turned his back on her—Ashburn was there for her.
Lucienne shut her eyes. The hollow ache inside her was an endless black sea. Hurting either one of them was the last thing she wanted in the world, but she was hurting them both.
“I’m the kind of guy who doesn’t accept impossibilities,” Vladimir said. “I’ll remove anything and anyone between us.” His voice turned dreamy yet furious. “Láska, it’s killing me to be away from you. Every day is like a death sentence without seeing you, holding you, telling you that I love you.”
Before Lucienne could react, he planted his hot lips on her jaw. “In my waking hours while plotting to take down the Sealers, I often picture this—” His lips sunk hungrier on her skin. “Feel your warmth. Smell your scent.” His mouth traced the line of her jaw to the space beneath her earlobe.
Lucienne’s breath hitched and her eyelids grew heavy with desire. “You know we can’t—” But she didn’t have the willpower to push him away. She wanted him, all of him. She took off her glasses and arched her neck to give him a better angle.
“I’ll be careful,” he said. “I’ll stop before it becomes unmanageable. You’ll remind me before your power attacks.” His tongue was on her earlobe; his teeth nibbled
it, sending her shuddering. “You care for me too much to let me burn, miláček.”
“Ash isn’t a villain,” she said, half-closing her eyes at the pleasure, amazed that she somehow remembered to persuade Vladimir to leave Ashburn alone. What Vladimir said about getting rid of anyone between them unnerved her. “Ash has been trying to get rid of TimeDust.”
“Is he, with his god-like power?” Vladimir said in a sarcastic tone. Obviously he didn’t like her defending Ashburn.
“I won’t betray you again, Vlad,” she said. She needed to set the boundaries for him when it came to Ashburn. “But Ash is important to me, like Kian, Ziyi, Aida, and you.” She felt his back go stiff. His lips moved off her neck. “He’s a friend. If you hurt him, I’ll never forgive you.”
A draft of cold air came between them.
