“It’s so weird.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Come on, Mom. It’s weird.”
Her mom walked further, without speaking, until they came to the prettiest spot on the ranch. The view of the valley never failed to take Peyton’s breath away.
“I’m going to tell you something you may not like.”
“Okay…”
“I wasn’t crazy about Kade Butler.”
This was news. Never before had her mother said a negative word about Kade, or Lang. Even when he left her and the boys, her mother didn’t defend him, but she didn’t disparage him either.
“This isn’t like you, Mom.”
“I know it isn’t. I’ve always believed that you were capable of making your own decisions, for your own reasons. I can’t pretend to know how you feel inside.”
“Why didn’t you like Kade?”
“It should be obvious, Peyton.”
“Well, it isn’t,” she snapped, tired of her mom’s cat and mouse game.
“We rarely saw you when you were with him, sweetheart. That’s a red flag. There were others. I don’t know if he was always honest with you.”
“Alex said the same thing the other day. Only she said he wasn’t the man I thought he was.”
“Did she elaborate?”
“Yes.” She wasn’t ready to tell her mom what Alex told her about Kade. It really didn’t make him seem any different in Peyton’s eyes. It hadn’t changed the way she saw him. Maybe because she sensed it about him.
“Peyton?”
“She told me he was going to work for the agency, the CIA.”
“I know what the agency is, sweetheart.”
“She said he kept it from me. He was afraid I wouldn’t like it.”
“And did he?”
“He didn’t discuss it with me, but I don’t think he intentionally kept it from me.”
“He discussed it with your dad.”
“What? Seriously? Why didn’t Dad say anything to me about it?” And why did Kade think it was okay to talk to her dad about something he hadn’t shared with her?
“Kade asked him not to.”
“Then Dad isn’t any better than Kade was.”
“Peyton!”
“I’m tired of men keeping me in the dark about things that affect my life. Lying, sneaking around, cheating—I’m sick of it.”
“Your father didn’t do any of those things.”
“He didn’t tell me Kade spoke to him about things I was unaware of. That’s lying.”
“No, it’s waiting. Kade asked him to wait.”
“For what?”
“He was going to ask you to marry him.”
Peyton sat down on the ground, and put her elbows on her raised knees. “It would’ve been important for me to know that before I gave him my answer.”
“Yes, and your father would’ve told you, but then Kade was killed and there was no reason to.”
“We never discussed marriage, Mom. Never. Brodie said something about how things might have been different after we were married. That I’d get to know the rest of his family better. I told him that Kade and I weren’t as close as he seemed to think we were.”
“Maybe you didn’t think so, but Kade believed you were.”
There were so many things she didn’t know about him, not just about his new job. The more she heard, the more it sounded as though Kade assumed things, took things for granted, or believed he knew how she felt without discussing it with her.
“I don’t think I would’ve married him, Mom. I had a lot of doubts, even about the relationship continuing. He swept me up, I loved him, but that little voice inside me that I refused to listen to before I married Lang, wasn’t keeping quiet.”
“I’m happy to hear you’re paying more attention to your intuition.”
“I had a dream about Kade this morning. I was at Stave, sitting in the sun, and I must’ve dozed off. I dreamt he was sitting at the table across from me. He told me his mom was going to be okay.”
“Alex told us it left you quite shaken.”
“Worse. I went looking for him.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Her mom knelt down and put her arm around Peyton’s shoulders.
“I’m mortified about it now. Addy’s probably going to quit since now she works for a madwoman.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Addy is fine. She’s worried about you, but otherwise fine.”
“Worried about my madness.”
“No, Peyton, just worried about you. Don’t make more of this than it was.”
“You sound like Alex.”
“I’ve always loved that girl.” She smiled. “Peyton, talk to me about Brodie.”
And say what? They had crazy sex last night? That she spent a day with him and he swept her off her feet, just like Kade had?
“I don’t know what he wants from me.”
“Maybe he just wants to get to know you.”
“Why? Aren’t there other single women in the valley the Butler boys can chase after? Or maybe they’ve already gone through all of them.”
“Peyton!”
“What? Have you seen them? They’re Adonises. Every one of them. Kade was. Maddox looks just like him, except taller. Naughton is…what did Alex say? All dark and broody Scottish guy, but no less godlike. And then there’s Brodie with his gorgeous blue eyes and his eight-pack abs, and, and that…” Ass. She was going to say ass. That incredible ass, and his powerful legs, and his mouth. His mouth was magical.
Her mom was fanning her face. “Your father always made me feel the way Brodie makes you feel.”
“Brodie doesn’t make me feel anything, Mom.”
“Now who’s the liar?”
“That isn’t very nice.”
“Neither is lying.”
Peyton’s cell phone rang. “This is probably Brodie calling, and I don’t want to talk to him.” She took her phone out of her pocket and looked at the screen. It was Jamison.
“Hey, Jamie. What’s up?”
“Where are you and Grandma? We’re starving.”
“Sorry, honey. We went for a walk. We’ll come back up now.”
“Boys are starving,” she said to her mom.
“We’ll finish this conversation later.”
“No, Mom, we won’t. There’s nothing more to say on the Butler subject.”
“Where have you been?” Naughton asked when Brodie walked into the house.
“First I went and saw Peyton, then I came back and went for a ride, and then I drove over to the hospital again to see Ma.”
“How is she?”
“She’s fine, although she begged me to bring her home. Says the walls are closing in on her.”
Naughton laughed.
“She said you were with her.”
“She and I were in the vineyard talking about the old vine Zins, and she said she didn’t feel well. The way she was holding herself, where she said she had pain, I knew it was her heart.”
“I’m glad you where there.”
“Me too, since neither of my brothers bothered to come home last night.”
“Mad didn’t either? Interesting.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t know about him and Alex.”
“Not a clue.”
“He’s more in love with her than you are with Peyton.”
“I’m not in love with Peyton.” Although he could be, very easily. If she’d let him.
“You tell her Ma dreamt she saw Kade?”
“Yeah.”
“What’d she say?”
“That she never wants to see me again.”
Naughton laughed again, but Brodie didn’t find it funny. “Wait until you’re where I am, Brother. Some girl getting you all tied up in knots.”
“Who says I’m not?”
Brodie raised his eyebrows. “Then how come you were home last night?”
Naughton returned to chuckling, and Brodie went upstairs. He was exhausted,
between waking Peyton up over and over again last night, Ma’s heart attack, and then this shit with Kade, he needed sleep. Maybe when he woke up tomorrow he’d know what to do about Peyton.
“You guys want to go home tonight or stay here with Grandma and Grandpa?” her mother asked. She had cookies baking in the oven, what were her boys going to say?
“Can we ride tomorrow?”
“Of course we can.”
“Mom, will you go with us?”
“I think I can do that. Although Alex may think I’ve abandoned Stave completely.”
“Call her, I’m sure she’ll be fine with it. I know your dad enjoys spending some time there. Maybe he’d like to fill in for you again tomorrow.”
“I don’t want to ask him to do that.”
“He loves it. It’s been a while since he got to interact with customers, and listen as they tell him how fabulous his wine is. It’s good for his ego.”
“If you think so.”
“I’ll talk to him when he gets home later, but I’d wager I’m right.”
After dinner Peyton walked down to the guest house. The boys wanted to sleep in the main house again tonight, and she didn’t mind. At least she was with them for dinner, a rare occurrence on a Saturday night. She’d be with them again tomorrow, if her dad agreed to cover for her.
She’d spent a lot of time in this little house right after Kade died. Her pillow could tell stories about how she cried into it night after night. She found comfort being so close to her mom and dad, particularly since her mom would often walk down and check on her.
She was their only child. After she was born, they tried to have more children, but her mom miscarried enough times that her dad said he couldn’t stand to watch her go through it again. They talked about adoption, but the process was long and complex, and soon they gave up on that too.
Peyton often wished for a brother or sister, but once she became friends with Alex, she realized how overwhelming a big family could be. Alex had six brothers, and she was right in the middle of the pack. She’d beg to spend the night at Peyton’s house just to get away from the madness of it.
Her phone vibrated and she saw a text alert. She guessed it was Brodie, and she was right. It would be so easy to give in and answer him, but she couldn’t. It was better to cut ties now before either of them got in any deeper. She didn’t care what Kade’s ghost told their mother.
He should’ve anticipated Peyton wouldn’t answer. She made herself clear this afternoon. It wasn’t as though she was the first woman to break things off with him, if you could call what they had enough to break off. With her, though, Brodie couldn’t accept it. He couldn’t shrug his shoulders and walk away. He was used to letting go, knowing another woman was waiting in the wings, probably someone he wanted more anyway. This time, he didn’t want another woman.
He wanted Peyton, and no one else. It was crazy, he knew that. A week ago, he hadn’t met her, and now he felt as though he couldn’t live without her. He was obsessed, and that went against who he’d believed himself to be all his life.
After an hour, he got up. He couldn’t sleep and he couldn’t lie there letting his mind wander. He checked the time, just after midnight. How many nights had he gone out for a midnight stroll? Too many, and this one, just like the others, was all because of Kade.
If Kade was going to talk to anyone in a dream, why couldn’t it have been him? Brodie needed his advice, counsel, and guidance so much right now.
Telling their mother that Peyton needed him didn’t help one bit. If it even happened. It could’ve just been his mother’s mental state, whatever medication they had her on. But then how did she know about him and Peyton? As far as she knew, he was just delivering Kade’s box of stuff.
Kade’s box of stuff. Maybe there’d be something in it that would help him figure out what to do about Peyton.
12
“If you’re sure you don’t mind, I could use another day out here with my boys, and Mom.”
Her dad kissed Peyton’s cheek. “I don’t mind at all. I’m enjoying myself. As long as I know it’s temporary, I love it. The idea of running the tasting room full-time never appealed to me, which is why I hired you thirteen years ago.”
Her father couldn’t stand the idea of being trapped inside anywhere. Weathered by the sun, his face was tan year round, and if it wasn’t for his full head of wavy hair, he’d look older than he was. It was still almost completely blond, with very little gray, if any. He kept himself fit, in the same way her mom did. They were a beautiful couple. Strikingly so.
His eyesight wasn’t as good as it once was, so he wore tortoiseshell square-shaped glasses, which made him look more like a professor than a farmer.
“Winemakers are farmers,” he’d say. “At least those of us who manage our own vineyards.” Peyton supposed there was truth to it. It didn’t matter what their crops consisted of, farmers needed to educate themselves on how best to maximize their production. Grapes or corn. It was essentially the same.
“Are you going to Los Cab?”
“We are. I haven’t ridden in so long. I need it.”
“You used to ride every day when you were a teenager. Your mom and I hardly saw you, between that and surfing.”
Peyton loved both, and hadn’t made enough time for either. It was the reason she and Alex set up Stave’s schedule the way they had. They both had three days off in a row. Alex was off Monday, Stave was closed Tuesday and Wednesday, and Peyton was off Thursday. Instead of taking advantage of it, both of them spent too much time in the tasting room on their days off. The last few months especially.
They’d talked about hiring a manager, but it seemed silly. With a four-day work week, they should’ve been able to balance their personal and professional lives with little effort.
“Ready, Mom?”
The boys were climbing into her mom’s Range Rover, while her parents said goodbye. Peyton watched them. What they had is what she always wanted. They respected and admired each other. Dad was Mom’s biggest fan and vice versa. They didn’t agree on everything, but they found a way to discuss their differences without anger. When her dad gripped her mother’s neck and kissed her, Peyton looked away. It reminded her too much of Brodie, and how he’d done the same thing.
“I’m so happy you’re with us today, Mom,” Finn snuggled up to her, and Peyton melted. Had she been absent in their lives lately? She prided herself on the time she spent with them, but obviously something was off. Starting right this minute, that was going to change. Her boys were her number one priority, and had been since the day they were born.
“Me too, kiddo.”
Jamison was looking out the window, lost in thought. “What’s up, Jamie?”
“Nothin’.”
“It’s somethin’. Tell me.”
“I just want you to be happy, Mama.”
Peyton eyes filled with tears, and she turned and looked out the front window so her boys didn’t see. Jamison never called her “mama,” unless he was feeling sick, or sad, or he was worried about her.
“I’m happy when I’m with you guys.”
“You know what I mean.”
She almost laughed, and would’ve if her heart wasn’t splitting in two. Sometimes she thought Jamison was the wisest person she knew. How a ten-year-old could have the sensitivity and insight he had, was a mystery.
“Riding makes me happy.” Peyton turned around and looked at him. He was smiling at her, and rolled his eyes. Yep, he was her boy.
The box sat on the kitchen table all night, and was still there when Brodie went downstairs the next morning.
“You takin’ that over to her?” Naught asked before he left for the vineyard.
“I told her I wouldn’t, unless she asked me for it.”
“Why’s it on our table then?”
“I’m thinkin’ about looking inside.”
Naughton shook his head, but didn’t say anything.
“Would it be wrong?”
/>
“Can’t answer that.”
“What would you do?”
“Doesn’t matter. What are you gonna do?”
“I don’t know. I thought if I did, I might find something that would help me figure out what to do about Peyton.”
Naughton slapped him on the back and walked out the back door. “Good luck,” he shouted before he climbed in his truck.
He needed it. He needed her. What the hell was he thinking, and why couldn’t he just stop? All of this was so unlike him. It would’ve been unlike Kade, too. Both of them could walk away, not think twice. Ultimatums never worked with him or his brothers, not that Brodie could see Peyton ever issuing one. It was likely one reason none of them were married. No one had been important enough to stay with when things got messy, or uncomfortable, or a woman wanted more than they were ready to give.
But Peyton? It was as though two atoms collided when they met, and instead of bouncing off each other and spinning in different directions, they fused. They formed a new particle, and it was impermeable.
Brodie heard music playing in the other room, coming from the wireless speaker. He checked his phone, but it wasn’t connected. What was? Where was the music coming from?
He recognized the song, and the band. He shook his head, laughed, and looked up at the ceiling. “You tryin’ to tell me somethin’ Kade?”
You’re the one, the only one, the only one that’s just right just for me
For that I say,
I will come and I will stand and I will live my life beside you
I’m a proud, a proud man, but all the same
I’m just a fool, I’m a fool for you
I’m a fool, I’m a fool for you
John Butler Trio was Kade’s favorite band. He’d paid them to play at the vineyard one year in May, during the Paso Robles Wine Festival. Even the first line of the song playing was what he’d just been thinking.
Two atoms they collide, you and I make them a child
What lovely creatures they are, something right from the stars
And I helped you bring them forth
I offered a safe place to land
An overflow of love, falling right into my hands
How could he not believe this was Kade talking to him? Brodie didn’t need to look inside the box. His brother had finally answered him. Now it was up to him to figure out how to convince Peyton that they were meant to be together. He told her he was going to make her his when their bodies fused together.
The Promise (Butler Ranch Book 1) Page 12
