His mother gasped, and both his brothers stood and paced the kitchen.
“Go on,” his father repeated.
“Her father asked their lawyer to fight it, but I want to ask that we support her in any way we can.”
“Of course we will,” his mother spoke, and for the first time since he came back from Argentina, he saw the fire return to her eyes.
“I’ll know more later in terms of what she’s facing, but for now, I just want to make you aware of it. Also, I understand that Lang has been going to the boys’ basketball games. I’d like to start going myself.” He looked at his two brothers, who nodded in agreement.
“Finally, I’m going to see Peyton as soon as we’re finished. She and I have a lot to talk about. I’ve been made aware of an issue with her health, and my guess is that is why Lang was able to blindside her with this custody petition.”
“Brodie—”
“Ma, Alex wouldn’t elaborate. She said Peyton needed to tell me herself.”
Brodie looked from Maddox to Naughton, neither spoke.
“Mad, am I ready?”
“Yes, you are.”
“Alex told me you mean well, and for now, I’m going to take her at her word.”
“Good.”
“Can I have my keys, please?”
His father walked over to the drawer in the kitchen. “They’ve been in here all along. Well, since your brothers went to the airport in Los Angeles and brought your car home.”
In the weeks between the plane crash and today, his body had been ravaged to the point of near death. Whatever health problems Peyton faced, he’d help her. He knew what it was like to fight to stay alive, to keep his body from succumbing to overwhelming odds against him. The advice Kade gave him in his dreams kept him going.
“Get up, get moving,” Brodie dreamt Kade told him. “Keep hydrated. Keep warm.” The dreams he had of Peyton gave him the will to listen to the dreams he had of Kade.
Whatever was wrong with Peyton must be bad, maybe even life-threatening. He couldn’t imagine any other circumstance in which she’d stop working entirely, or allow Alex to close Stave even temporarily. He couldn’t fathom her missing her boys’ sports events, and have no knowledge Lang had been there instead.
Brodie pulled up near the Wolf’s house, turned off the truck, and took several deep breaths. Here he was, the place he’d wanted to be for so long. This was it—either she’d forgive him, and let him be in her life, or she wouldn’t.
Alex told him to remember two very important things when he talked to Peyton. Apologize last, after he told his story, and refrain from saying he regretted anything.
Peyton never struck him as being an insecure person. She couldn’t possibly think he regretted having sex with her? It wasn’t the sex he regretted, it was the underhanded way he went about seducing her into it.
“I get that, Brodie,” Alex said to him. “But tell it the way it happened.”
When Brodie opened the truck door, he saw Peyton’s parents sitting on the front porch of their house. They reminded him of his parents. Before he climbed the steps to where they sat, Peyton’s father approached him.
“Welcome home, Son,” he said. When Brodie held out his hand, Jamison Wolf pulled him into a hug instead. “We prayed for you every day.”
“Thank you, sir.” Brodie’s eyes filled with tears. “Sorry. Emotional these days.”
“Don’t apologize,” Peyton’s mom said, hugging him the same way her husband had.
“I guess you know I’m here to see Peyton.”
“She’s upstairs, Brodie. Has anyone…uh…prepared you?”
“Yes and no, Mrs. Wolf. Alex explained she’s had some issues with her health.”
“Let me show you where she is.” Peyton’s father led Brodie inside. “First door on the left when you get to the top of the stairs.”
“Do you want to let her know I’m here?”
“It’s better this way. Just…try not to upset her too much.”
“I don’t want to upset her at all.”
“Good luck.”
Peyton was asleep when Brodie walked into her room. He didn’t expect the deep, dark circles under her eyes, or for her to be as pale as she was.
There was a chair by the window, which Brodie pulled closer to her bed. She opened her eyes and blinked.
“You’re not dreaming, sweetheart.”
“Brodie.” She sat up and clutched the pillow in front of her. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to you, Peyton. How are you?”
“I’m okay.” She shifted, and held the pillow closer.
“Alex told me you’ve had some health issues.”
“Is that what she said?” Peyton smirked, and looked away from him.
“I’m not here because you’re ill.”
“You shouldn’t be here at all.”
Brodie closed his eyes, focusing on all the things Alex told him not to say.
“Peyton, the last time I saw you—”
“I don’t want to hear this, Brodie.”
He leaned closer and tried to hold her hand, but she yanked it away.
“I need to tell you, Peyton. It’s important that you know what happened that night.”
He took another deep breath. “I was traveling on winery business in San Francisco, and drove back to Cambria. I stopped by your house and Sam told me you weren’t home. I went to Stave, and saw your car, but you weren’t there.”
Brodie heard Alex’s voice in his head. “Do not say you’re sorry until you’ve told her everything.”
“Before I left for up north, you told me that I wasn’t Kade, and I never would be.”
Peyton nodded, but still wouldn’t look at him.
“I waited. I didn’t know where you were, but something told me to wait.” Brodie looked up. “Or someone.”
He cleared his throat, and said a silent prayer that he wouldn’t cry when he told her what he’d done. He wouldn’t ask her forgiveness, he’d tell her, and then she could decide what was next for them.
“I didn’t say much when you invited me inside. God, Peyton, this is so hard. When I made love to you that night, I didn’t use a condom.”
He didn’t look at her. He couldn’t. He had to keep talking, or he’d never tell her the truth.
“I did it on purpose, Peyton. I made love to you without a condom because I wanted to tie you to me, forever, whether you wanted me or not. It was the only way my deranged brain could think of.”
She was crying, but he couldn’t stop now. This was his one shot to tell her everything, and no matter how hard it was to continue, he had to be man enough to admit what he’d done.
“I didn’t ask if it was okay, I didn’t ask if you were on birth control, because I didn’t want you to stop me. I’ve never had sex with anyone without a condom. Never.”
“After, when you looked into my eyes, and begged me not to say I was sorry, God, Peyton. I’ve never felt like such an asshole. I took your choice away. I forced myself on you, into you. And the first thing you said to me was for me not to be sorry.”
Peyton turned her body away from him, sobbing into the pillow she held so tightly against her.
“When I heard you sobbing that night, like you are now, my heart broke over what I’d done. I was filled with shame, not because I was with you, but because of what I had done to you. I knew what I was doing, and I did it anyway.”
There was more. He had to finish, and when he did, he’d walk away. It was clear to him now, that she’d never forgive him, and why should she? He was a lying, conniving bastard.
“I drove as fast and as far from you as I could. When I got to the airport in Los Angeles, I got on the next international flight available. That’s how I ended up in Argentina.”
Brodie cleared his throat, and wiped away the tears he couldn’t stop from falling. “I fled, knowing I couldn’t stay away from you. I couldn’t, I was too weak. And Peyton, I couldn’t apologize ei
ther, because if I had the chance to go back and undo it, I wouldn’t. What kind of man does that make me? I tricked you, and manipulated you. I was ready to beg you to let me be a substitute for the man you truly loved. I knowingly tried to force you to have my child.”
It was a long time before Peyton turned her body toward him. She wasn’t crying as hard, but tears still rolled down her cheeks. He looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry, Peyton, but not for making love to you. The only part I’m sorry for is trying to manipulate you into spending your life with me.”
“Brodie…”
He loved hearing his name on her lips, but there was more he had to tell her.
“I came very close to dying after the plane crash. I dreamt about you, and about Kade. I dreamt he was telling me how to stay alive, but you were the only reason I wanted to. I slipped in and out of consciousness, and if the search party hadn’t arrived when it had, I’m not sure I would be here.”
Brodie moved closer and rested his hand beside her, hoping she’d reach out to him, but she didn’t.
“There’s more, but it isn’t important, Peyton. The only thing that is important is that you know this—I love you. It may seem crazy, that we haven’t known each other that long, but I love you, and nothing can change that. I love you so much that I fought to stay alive so I could come back and tell you how much. More than anything I want to spend my life with you. I want to be a father to your boys, and I want to make more babies with you. I want you to choose to be with me, not because I forced you, but because you want to. I want you to be with me because you love me, Peyton.”
Brodie rested his head on the bed next to where she laid. Telling her everything that had weighed so heavy on his soul took every ounce of energy in his body. His fatigue was the same as it had been when he was rescued and the helicopter flew him away from the plane’s wreckage. He was about to push his chair back, and stand, when he felt Peyton’s fingers run through his hair. He couldn’t move, even to breathe, for fear she’d stop. His body craved her touch, and the loss of it so soon after he’d felt it would devastate him. The place where he rested his head was damp with his tears, but he wasn’t ashamed of them. Crying meant he was alive.
He thought back to the day he met Peyton, the cold wind from the ocean stung his face with sand, and he remembered being grateful to be alive that day too.
“Brodie,” she whispered. “Look at me.”
He raised his head, knowing what she was going to say. He’d prepared himself, it wasn’t unexpected. He just hadn’t realized the depth of hurt that pulsed through his body, anticipating, knowing, she was going to ask him to leave. His gratitude for being alive dissipated. Without Peyton in his life, he’d rather he’d died in the crash.
Peyton rested one hand on his, while she moved the pillow away from her body with the other. She tossed it to the floor, and moved the blankets away that covered her body. She reached down and raised the oversized t-shirt she was wearing, took his hand, and brought it to her bare abdomen.
“She’s fought to stay alive too, Brodie.”
20
Peyton studied Brodie’s face, waiting for the moment he realized what she was telling him. His eyes, already red from tears, filled again as they looked from her face to her belly, and back again.
“Peyton…I…”
She shifted on the bed, and pulled him toward her. “Hold me, Brodie. Hold us.” She leaned forward so he could put his arm around her, and nestled close to him. He splayed his fingers on the place their daughter grew inside her, and Peyton felt his warmth spread throughout her body.
“I’ll never be cold when I sleep with you, Brodie. You keep me warm.”
He cried again then, his head resting against hers. “I don’t know what to say.”
“There isn’t anything more to say.”
Brodie heard the bedroom door creak, and opened his eyes. Alex peeked inside, smiled, and closed the door behind her. He wasn’t sure how long he and Peyton had been asleep, maybe a few minutes, maybe an hour.
The fatigue he’d felt earlier was gone. The hurt that had pulsed through his body was replaced by an energy so powerful, he worried he’d scald the woman sleeping in his arms. His woman. The woman carrying his baby. From his most shameful act, came the most precious love he’d ever known.
“I love you, Peyton,” he whispered before he let his heavy eyelids close again.
“Mom?”
Brodie woke the same time Peyton did, and saw her two boys standing in the doorway. He motioned for them to come closer. When they came over, taking turns hugging him, he prayed he wasn’t dreaming. The scene that surrounded him was almost too good to be true. He looked at Peyton, and felt the love he saw in her eyes.
“Did you tell him about our baby sister, Mom?” Finn asked.
“I did.” She laughed.
“Did he think of a name yet?”
Brodie laughed too. “Not yet, buddy.”
Finn was wearing shorts, and pointed to his leg. “Look, you can hardly see my scar anymore.”
“Wow, that’s amazing. I hope my scars heal as well as yours did.”
Brodie’s eyes met Jamison’s, who hadn’t said anything since he came into the room. “Come back over here, buddy.” Brodie pulled him close so the boy’s head rested against his chest. The same dampness he’d felt earlier from his own tears spread on his shirt.
Peyton rested her hand on her son’s head. “It’s okay, Jamie. Everything is going to be okay.”
“Don’t leave again,” Jamison said against Brodie’s chest.
“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
The bedroom door flew open, and Alex spilled into the room. “Told ya,” she jabbed Maddox, who followed her.
“Yes, you did.” He smiled.
“Someday you’ll learn.”
“What will I learn, Alex?”
“That I’m always right.”
Maddox looked at Brodie and Peyton. “What I’ll really learn is to tell her she’s always right, whether she is or isn’t.”
“This room is getting crowded,” Peyton’s dad said, shifting so her mother was standing in front of him. “How about we take this party downstairs?”
Peyton tightened her grip on Brodie’s arm. “We’ll follow in a minute, okay?”
“Of course. Come on everybody.” Her father herded everyone out of the room, and closed the door behind him.
“I almost lost the baby a couple of times, Brodie, so the doctor recommended bed rest. That’s why I’m staying here with my parents. They’ve been a huge help with the boys, so has Alex.”
“Whatever we need to do, Peyton, I’m with you every step of the way.”
“I’d like to go home.”
“We can make that happen.”
“But—”
“When I say every step of the way, I mean everything. Whatever you need or want, I’ll take care of.”
“Let’s go downstairs. We can talk about all of this later. You may want to take some time to think about it before you jump into this with both feet.”
“How long did you think about jumping in when you realized you were pregnant?”
“If you mean how long did I think about keeping the baby, I didn’t think about it at all. There was never any question that I wouldn’t.”
“Same for me, sweetheart. No questions, no doubts, no nothing. I love you, Peyton. There are things we need to talk about. We went from no communication at all, to me taking you home. There’s a lot in between we didn’t say.”
“You mean there’s a lot I didn’t say.”
“By your actions alone, I’m assuming you want me in your life. For now, I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give.”
“I’m not ready to say the words you want me to say.”
“I’m not pushing, sweetheart, but there is something I need to know.”
“What’s that?”
“Have you forgiven me?”
Peyton breathed deeply, and looked into
Brodie’s eyes. “Forgiven you? No. I knew what we were doing that night, too. You didn’t trick me or manipulate me. I wasn’t intentionally trying to get pregnant, but I didn’t stop you from making love to me without protection. So what’s to forgive? I misunderstood your reaction that night, I hated thinking you regretted what we’d done. I hated you for leaving me too, but that wasn’t what you were doing.”
“It wasn’t. It’s so cliché, but it wasn’t you, it was me.”
“I understand that now. It might be more difficult to leave it behind us and move on with our lives, but there are two things…more really, that I’ve learned in the last few months. Life is short, and those you love can be taken from you in an instant. I lost Kade, and then I thought I lost you. When I believed I’d lost our baby, I was devastated. I don’t want to waste any more precious time, Brodie.”
Brodie lowered his head and covered her mouth with his. He dreamt so often of kissing her. Just having her in his arms felt like some kind of miracle, but the intimacy of sharing a kiss, one filled with passion, and even love, was more than he ever expected. If they didn’t stop now, he wouldn’t be able to walk down the stairs without embarrassing himself and everyone else. He pulled away, but held her close.
“We should go downstairs.” Peyton sighed.
“Should I carry you?”
She laughed. “As I told Alex, I’m pregnant, not paralyzed. I can walk, I just need to stay off my feet as much as possible.”
“There they are.” Peyton’s father stood and motioned for them to sit on the sofa. “As you can see, the party has grown somewhat.”
Between the time her boys woke them and now, Brodie’s mother, father, and Naughton arrived. “Our daughter Skye is on the way with her family too, but if it gets to be too much, Peyton, just let us know, and we’ll go back to the ranch,” Laird told her.
“She’s pregnant too,” Brodie whispered to Peyton. “They’re having a boy.” He rubbed his chest, near his heart. “And we’re having a girl.”
Peyton rested her head against his shoulder and put her arm around Brodie’s waist.
The Promise (Butler Ranch Book 1) Page 21
