by Susan Lewis
Susannah was incredulous. ‘I can’t believe a mother would do that to her own children,’ she said. ‘How old are they?’
‘Robin’s almost seventeen – he’s the one who wants to be a photographer. Julia’s fifteen now, and Kim will be fourteen next month.’
‘So the girls are virtually the same age as Neve? What happened to their real father? Surely she doesn’t stop them seeing him too?’
‘He died of cancer when Kim was six years old.’
‘Oh, how sad. Do they remember him?’
‘Robin and Julia have quite a few memories, Kim less so, and Helen has done more or less the same with him as she did with me. She never talks about him, though I think she used to, before I came on the scene, but then his photographs were all packed up and anything that used to belong to him disappeared from the house. I only know that because Robin told me. I never saw any of it myself.’
‘She sounds a very … controlling sort of woman.’
‘Yes, I guess she is in some ways, but I keep reminding myself that it won’t be long before the children are old enough to make up their own minds about who they have in their lives. I’m ever hopeful they’ll still want to know me then.’
Susannah’s eyes were full of sympathy as she sat back for the waiter to deliver their starters.
‘Don’t worry, it’ll be all right,’ Alan told her as they began to eat. ‘Seeing you again is what matters tonight.’
Regarding him tenderly, she said, ‘Lola was clever enough to remind me before I came that you’ve probably had your share of knocks.’
His eyebrows went up in a philosophical way. ‘Life doesn’t happen without them,’ he remarked. ‘If it did, I for one would be out of a job.’
Smiling at the irony of that, she said, ‘I suppose I always imagined someone in your profession to have it all worked out, or you’d have a way of dealing with life’s challenges that allowed you to rise above the pain so you didn’t end up being all screwed up by it. That’s a pretty naive assumption, wouldn’t you say?’
‘But a common one. In actual fact we shrinks are some of the nuttiest people on the planet, but please don’t tell anyone, it’s not something any of us want to get out.’
Laughing, and remembering how much she used to love his sense of humour, she carried on eating as the wine waiter held up a bottle for him to approve, before opening it.
The rest of the meal seemed to pass far too quickly as they meandered down the avenues of their past lives, reminding one another of events long forgotten, and sometimes laughing so hard that Susannah could barely catch her breath. His expression was so dry as he watched her that it inevitably set her off all over again, until he was no longer able to keep a straight face himself.
They were the last to leave the restaurant, and Susannah waited in the doorway while he ran round the corner to get the car. It turned out to be a black BMW that she knew right away was going to impress the heck out of Neve. More importantly though, Neve was going to adore him, and though she knew it was boastful to think it, she felt confident he’d adore her too.
‘I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed seeing you again,’ he said, as they drove through the lamplit streets of Battersea. ‘In some ways it feels as though we’ve never been apart, which I suppose is a bit of a corny thing to say, but I’m afraid it’s the best I can do.’
‘It’s a lovely thing to say,’ she assured him, ‘and it’s how I feel too.’
He glanced at her in his gently self-mocking way. ‘If I hadn’t been such an ass all those years ago things might have turned out very differently,’ he said, ‘but I left it too late to come back and find you. You’d already met Duncan, and I knew I’d never be able to offer you what he could when he’d already cast you in one of his plays.’
Thinking back to that time, she said, ‘The only good thing ever to come out of that marriage was Neve, and I wouldn’t be without her, so it would be wrong to regret it. I’d like it all to be over now though.’
‘Does that mean you’re not divorced?’
‘Not yet. Don’t ask me why. I suppose I couldn’t quite bring myself to dump that on him as well when he went away. As soon as he comes out though, I intend to put it in motion.’
‘Do you have any idea when that’s likely to be?’
‘I’m afraid it might be quite soon. He’s applied for parole, so he could be roaming free by the end of the month.’
He threw her a quick look. ‘How do you feel about that?’
‘Frankly, sick, because I have a feeling he’s going to ask to see Neve. I don’t think she’ll want to, but I hate the idea of her even having to make a decision.’ Suddenly realising how similar this was sounding to his own situation, she added quickly, ‘Please don’t think I’ll stand in her way if she wants to. It’s just that he truly hasn’t been a good father …’
‘It’s OK,’ he assured her. ‘I’m not making comparisons. The circumstances are very different, but I have to admit I’m already feeling quite protective towards Neve, possibly because if everything had gone according to plan twenty years ago, she could be mine.’
Feeling a swell of wine-fuelled emotion rise up in her, Susannah said, ‘Frankly, she’d be a very lucky girl if she were.’
He smiled and put a hand over hers. ‘Thank you for that,’ he said. ‘It means a great deal.’ Then, after glancing at her, ‘As I think I said in one of my emails, one of my big regrets is that I’ve never had a child of my own.’
Lifting her eyes from their hands, Susannah said, ‘I can’t wait for you to meet Neve. I have a feeling you two are going to get along very well together.’
Chapter Six
‘SO COME ON, what happened? Where is he?’ Neve cried, jumping on to Susannah’s bed the next morning to wake her up.
‘Oh God. Who let you in?’ Susannah grumbled, trying to push her off. ‘What time is it?’
‘Nearly ten o’clock and we’re going off our heads waiting to find out how it went. So come on, cough! Every last detail.’
As the memories came flooding back, Susannah felt her heart expand warmly through her chest. ‘I swear, you are the world’s most precocious child,’ she told Neve, trying to sit up. ‘And what’s this, for heaven’s sake?’
‘A bag of croissants. It’s OK, Pats,’ she shouted. ‘The coast is clear, she’s on her own and she’s got a nightie on. Have you?’ she said, pulling back the duvet.
‘Yes I have,’ Susannah retorted, grabbing the duvet back. ‘Now will you get off me, please, you’re heavy.’
‘I want to know what happened,’ Neve insisted, rolling on to the other side of the bed. ‘Didn’t he stay the night?’
‘Evidently not, and will you stop asking personal questions.’
‘I’m the one who set this up, so I have a right to know. Did you snog him when he brought you home?’
‘I’m not answering that.’
‘Mum! I’m your best friend, we’re supposed to tell one another everything.’
‘No. She’s my best friend,’ Susannah informed her as Patsy came into the room. ‘You are too nosy for your own good, so go and heat up those croissants and put some coffee on, please.’
‘This could be my future we’re talking about,’ Neve protested.
Susannah looked at Pats in dismay. ‘What do I do with her?’
‘If I were you, I’d just give up and answer her,’ Patsy advised.
Delighted, Neve sat cross-legged at the end of the bed facing her mother.
Laughing as she looked at her, Susannah said, ‘OK, it was a fabulous evening, virtually as though no time at all had gone by. I can’t remember when I last felt so relaxed with a man … And yes we kissed, but only outside, in the car.’
Neve’s eyes turned incredulous. ‘Didn’t you invite him in?’ she demanded. ‘For heaven’s sake.’ Then to Pats, ‘She is so out of practice.’
‘I didn’t want to appear too eager,’ Susannah explained, ‘but you’ll no doubt be thrilled to
hear that he’s coming round later to take us all out for lunch.’
‘Yes!’
‘That includes you, Pats,’ Susannah went on, ‘and Lola, obviously, which’ll save her conjuring up one of her roasts this evening.’
‘He’s taking us all?’ Patsy murmured. ‘Is he insane?’
Sparkling with laughter, Susannah said, ‘Oh come on, it’s not as though he doesn’t know us, except Neve, of course, and we can always protect him from her.’
‘Oh, thanks very much,’ Neve retorted. ‘Like I’m a liability, or something?’
‘Embarrassment,’ Susannah corrected. ‘Or you could be, so please don’t start asking him to adopt you, or marry me, or …’
‘Like as if!’ Neve cried. ‘I’m the one who has experience with men, remember?’
‘I’m so glad you don’t know how that sounds,’ Susannah told her.
As Neve opened her mouth to respond, Patsy quickly clapped a hand over it saying, ‘Enough. Time to go and heat those croissants, I think.’
‘But that’s not fair,’ Neve grumbled as she got off the bed. ‘If it weren’t for me last night wouldn’t even have happened, so why …’
‘Will you stop complaining,’ Susannah chipped in. ‘You’re going to meet him later, so what more do you want?’
‘Details,’ Neve reminded her as she went through the door.
‘That’s a two-way street,’ Susannah called after her.
Neve was back. ‘I tell you everything,’ she retorted.
‘Really? Then what a boring life you must lead.’
In spite of herself Neve had to laugh, and still trying to think of a suitable riposte she went off downstairs to turn on the oven.
‘So it was good,’ Patsy said, taking over Neve’s spot on the bed.
Susannah was glowing. ‘Frankly, that would be an understatement,’ she confessed. ‘He’s so … Well, like he used to be, but funnier, more sophisticated … I can’t wait for you to see him again. You can make it today, I hope.’
‘Are you kidding? I’d cancel my own wedding rather than miss it.’
Laughing, and stretching as a shiver of happiness coasted through her, Susannah said, ‘I know I’ve only seen him once, but I already have such a good feeling about this. It’s like something that was out of kilter has just clicked back into place.’
Unsurprised, but no less delighted, Patsy gave a sigh of rapture. ‘Did he talk much about what he’s been doing all these years?’ she asked.
‘A bit. He’s had quite a difficult time of it lately, mainly through the break-up of his marriage, but I’ll tell you about that later. What matters is that he’s back here in London, trying to make a go of things again.’
‘And the timing could hardly be more perfect. There you are, both of you, needing to rebuild your lives, and up pops fate, God, the Universe, call it what you like – actually, Neve might be a good name – to sort things out so you can do it together. Amazing, but I guess that’s how great things happen, by all the elements turning up in the right place at the right time.’
Experiencing another surge of elation, Susannah said, with no little irony, ‘You don’t think we’re getting a bit ahead of ourselves here?’
Patsy gave a blink of surprise. ‘How’s that possible, when you’re already twenty years behind?’
By the time Alan came to pick them up, with Lola already comfortably ensconced in the front seat of the BMW, Susannah’s happiness had grown to such a peak that she simply couldn’t stop smiling. One look at him told her that he was in much the same state, and as they embraced, kissing briefly on the lips, she could almost feel Neve’s excitement bubbling out of control.
‘Here she is,’ Susannah said, her throat tightening with pride as she turned to make the introduction, ‘the infamous meddler.’
Neve’s blue eyes were alight with eagerness as she looked up at Alan, and with her hair loose like her mother’s, and her lips shimmering with the same pink gloss, she looked almost as radiant.
‘I think architect of our reunion suits you better than infamous meddler,’ Alan told her affectionately, shaking her hand, ‘and I have a feeling I’m going to be long in your debt for coming up with the design.’
Beaming delightedly, Neve looked for a moment as though she might throw her arms around him, but in the end she only said, ‘Cool.’
Laughing and showing no such reticence, Patsy came forward and embraced him warmly. ‘It’s great to see you again,’ she told him. ‘And I think you’re extremely brave taking us all on at once, particularly when we know how raucous Lola can get after a couple of glasses.’
‘I heard that,’ Lola retorted from inside the car. ‘And it only takes one to get my pecker up.’
‘Please tell me she didn’t just say that,’ Susannah muttered, turning away as the others started to laugh. ‘No!’ she said quickly as Neve appeared about to respond. ‘Whatever’s on the tip of your tongue, swallow it.’
Neve’s mischievous eyes went to Alan, who was clearly enjoying himself immensely.
‘OK,’ he said, gesturing for everyone to start piling into the back seat, ‘I’ve booked a table for one at the Rose and Crown in Kew.’
‘What about the rest of us?’ Patsy quipped as she got in first.
‘She’s such a wag,’ Susannah chided, giving her a shove.
‘I want to go in the middle,’ Neve insisted.
Half an hour later they were pulling up alongside the pub on Kew Green so Lola could get out to save her walking too far – and once the others were out too Neve quickly hopped into the front seat saying, ‘Can I come with you while you park?’
Clearly delighted, he said, ‘Of course. Seat belt on. Do you know this area at all?’
‘Not really,’ she answered, giving her mother a cheeky little wave as they pulled away. ‘We came here once with the school, to look around the Gardens, but it was ages and ages ago. About a year, I think.’
‘Oh, ages,’ he agreed, suppressing a smile. ‘I thought, as the weather’s not too bad today, we might take Lola for a stroll through the Gardens after lunch.’
‘Oh, she’d love that, but we should have brought her chair.’
‘It’s in the boot,’ he told her. ‘I used it to get her across the estate when I picked her up.’
‘Oh, yeah of course. I bet she was really pleased to see you, wasn’t she? She says really nice things about you.’
With a laugh, he said, ‘Are you trying to make me blush, young lady?’
Reddening herself, she said, ‘I mean it. She does.’
‘Ah, there’s someone pulling away,’ he said, glancing up ahead, ‘we can probably squeeze in there.’
After the car was parked they started back towards the green, walking side by side in a slightly awkward, but pleasurable silence, until Neve shyly took his arm as they crossed the busy road.
‘Mum told me that you don’t see your stepchildren any more,’ she dared to venture as they reached the other side and she let go again. ‘That’s a real shame. I expect you miss them, don’t you?’
‘Yes, I do,’ he admitted.
‘Do you think your wife might end up changing her mind?’
He inhaled deeply before saying, ‘I’d like to think so, but she isn’t showing much sign of it yet, I’m afraid.’
‘You’ll keep trying though?’
‘Of course.’ He glanced down at her and smiled fondly. ‘I hear you don’t see your father,’ he said. ‘That’s a great shame too.’
She shrugged. ‘He was into drugs and stuff before he went away, so it’s best I don’t see him really.’
‘Don’t you miss him?’
‘No. Well, I suppose I did a bit at first, but he was always out of it, and shouting at Mum, or passing out like he was in a coma. It wasn’t very nice, so actually I was quite glad when he went away.’ She stole a quick look up at him, and receiving a playful smile, she said, ‘It’s kind of funny, isn’t it, that you don’t see your children, and I don�
�t see my dad. It’s like, perhaps we can fill the empty spaces for one another. You know, if you and Mum do get together. Do you think you will?’
Unable to stifle a laugh as he imagined Susannah’s face if she could hear this conversation, he said, ‘It’s certainly my hope.’
Sounding a little sheepish now, she said, ‘I suppose I shouldn’t have said that, should I? Please don’t tell her, or she’ll get all embarrassed and mad with me.’
‘Don’t worry, it’ll be our secret.’
With a big smile she looked up at him again. ‘I’m really glad I decided to go on to Friends Reunited. Mum would never have done it on her own.’
‘I’m glad you did too,’ he said, and picking up her arm he tucked it back through his as though to seal their promising new friendship.
By the time they’d finished lunch the sun had broken through the clouds, making a visit to Kew Gardens a must.
‘It’ll give you lot a chance to walk off some of that wine you managed to get through,’ Lola chided, throwing a wink at Neve.
‘Apart from Alan,’ Neve piped up defensively, ‘because he’s driving.’
Patsy was about to deliver one of her famous retorts when she lost it to a hiccup, making them all laugh.
‘I’ll go and get your chair from the car,’ Alan told Lola, as Susannah lowered her aunt on to a bench in front of the pub. ‘Coming?’ he said to Neve.
Brightening and blushing, she needed no persuading, and emboldened by her own share of the wine she linked his arm as soon as they set off across the green.
‘Is anyone else getting the impression she’s developing a crush?’ Patsy wondered idly, as she slumped down next to Lola and lifted her face to the sun.
Susannah’s eyes were glowing as she watched Neve and Alan. ‘He’s wonderful with her, isn’t he?’ she said, giving Lola a hug from behind.
Patting her hands, as her own eyes shone, Lola said, ‘It’s about time your luck changed, my girl. His too, from what he’s been telling us.’
‘It’s really touching that he still carries pictures of his stepchildren, don’t you think?’ Susannah commented, going to sit next to Patsy.
‘They’re lovely-looking,’ Patsy replied. ‘The boy’s a bit spotty, but he can’t help that I suppose. I wonder what the wife’s like.’
