“And not only is this personal, but I’ve not told anyone about it, either.”
“Well, now I’m really intrigued,” Christian said.
“That image, the one with the field of grass. I’ve seen it in my mind. It just pops in there, and it’s happened more than once. Your drawing is the perfect representation of it. I mean perfect.”
“Seriously?” He leaned forward, sliding his chair closer. “That’s pretty bizarre. But why was that upsetting to you?”
She slowly shook her head, trying to find an explanation. “I wasn’t really upset, but it just triggered this weird emotional response. I feel like it must be significant, but it’s unnerving because I don’t know what it’s about. What inspired you to draw it anyway?”
“A song, actually.”
“Oh.” Her voice dropped. She half expected him to say he’d had the same visions, that she wasn’t weird at all. Although, hearing it from Christian wouldn’t be the strongest testament to normalcy.
“You know that song ‘Fields of Gold’? It’s very visual. I could always see it in my mind, and had to put it on paper.”
Sophie’s shoulders slumped. “So, I guess I just chalk it up to a huge coincidence.”
“Maybe not.” Christian quirked an eyebrow and smiled. “Maybe you should stop worrying and just go with it. If it’s something important, you’ll figure it out.”
She felt a certain lightness inside, happy that he had asked her here. However, there was a definite disturbance in the universe. Whether this kinship continued was doubtful, but for today, in this small window of time, she had a brother.
Thirteen
It was early December, and Evie had complained repeatedly that she hadn’t met Sam yet, especially when he was pretty much all Sophie talked about. That was about to change; Sam had invited them both to a morning class at the community center that was a couple miles from his house.
“He didn’t give you a hint as to what kind of class this was going to be?” Evie asked as Sophie drove them to the center.
“No, and I don’t know why he’s being all secretive about it. It’s kind of a weird request, I know, but at least you’ll finally get to meet him. The rest of the family will get to meet him when I have him over for Christmas dinner.”
“You need to get moving on this relationship,” Evie urged. “I’m not getting any younger, and I’m still waiting for you to give me a niece or nephew.”
“Slow down there, little missy!” Sophie said. “We haven’t even had sex yet.”
“Poor guy. And he’s still around? Maybe that should be your Christmas gift.”
“Shut up.” Sophie pulled into the parking lot of the community center. It was eleven o’clock on a Saturday, and there were all kinds of people, young and old, coming in and out of the building. When they reached the entrance, Sam was waiting outside.
Sophie introduced Sam to her sister. “I’ve heard an awful lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet you,” Evelyn said.
“Same here,” he replied, shaking her hand. “Sophie said you were lovely. She was right.”
“Thank you.” Evelyn blushed and turned to Sophie. “Please tell me you’re keeping him.”
“I hope so.” Sophie gazed at him fondly. “So what is this class we’re taking?”
Sam held the door open for them. “Laughter yoga.”
“You’re kidding,” Sophie said. “Laughter yoga? I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
“My Aunt Ruby teaches it.”
“Sounds kind of interesting.” Evie adjusted the rubber band that held her ponytail. “The way you like comedies, Sophie, you should be all over this.” They stood at the main desk as Sam paid the small fee for the three of them.
“Well sure, who doesn’t like to laugh? But something’s gotta make me laugh. You mean we just sit around and laugh. About nothing?” Sophie didn’t get the point.
“You’ll see,” Sam said.
They walked through the long hallway that led to the room where the class was scheduled to be held. When they reached their destination, the participants, most of them elderly women, were all standing outside the door. Looking around, Sophie realized that the three of them were the youngest people there.
A woman with short gray hair made her way toward them. “You made it!” She gave Sam a hug and a kiss. She wore sweatpants and a pink t-shirt that said Laughter is the Language of the Soul.
“Aunt Ruby, this is Sophie and her sister, Evelyn.”
“Welcome!” Ruby embraced Evie before moving on to Sophie. “So this is your Sophie,” she said, putting her hands on Sophie’s shoulders.
Sophie liked that, being referred to as Sam’s.
“She’s just adorable, Sam. Both gorgeous girls! Well, come on, doll babies. We’ve been relocated, so we have to grab some chairs out of the smaller room next door and bring them in here.”
The students grabbed black folding chairs which they carried into the empty room, then arranged into a big circle. The room seemed large at first, but as more students began to filter in, it looked as if there wouldn’t be enough space.
At last it was time to begin. There were two other men there besides Sam, both elderly gentlemen. On the other side of the room was a woman, maybe in her forties, who was accompanied by three teenagers, two girls and a boy.
“We have a very large class today. Wonderful!” Ruby began. “Well, there are many, many benefits of laughter.” She leaned forward in her seat, eyes wide with enthusiasm. There was something about her that reminded Sophie of Betty White, although there was no physical resemblance.
“Laughter reduces stress hormones,” Ruby continued, “can help relieve pain, and can increase our immunity.”
Sophie’s ears perked up when she heard this bit of information. She would bring Evie here on a regular basis if it might help her immune system.
“And. . . .” Ruby held up her index finger to make her next point. “The really great thing is that our bodies don’t know the difference between real laughter and forced laughter.”
Sophie began to wonder how this was going to work. Was each of them expected to get up in the middle of the circle and try to make everyone laugh?
“So the key is to let yourself go and just have some fun,” Ruby said. “One last thing, throughout the class, we will repeat a little mantra. We put our thumbs up and say, ‘Very good! Very good!’ Then we raise our hands in the air and go, Yayyyyyy!” She waved her hands.
Seriously? Sophie turned to Evie in horror and mouthed, I am so sorry! Evie bit her lip. Sophie turned to Sam on her other side and leaned into him. “I’m trying not to laugh already,” she muttered.
He smirked while staring straight ahead. “That’s the whole idea.”
The class started, and they worked through various little exercises. One of them consisted of seeing how long they could all laugh forcefully. Sophie had to admit the laughter was contagious, especially listening to Aunt Ruby. She had such an infectious giggle, and before Sophie knew it, she was genuinely laughing. She observed the faces around the room and gave her attention to an old man who was clearly having difficulty, which was funny in itself. His forced laughter was almost a grimace, maybe even a muscle spasm.
Next, Aunt Ruby had them raise a hand and spread their fingers far apart. This was going to be an exercise that required them to pretend being on a roller coaster. The index finger of the other hand would be the cart, rising and falling along the finger “hills”. Whenever the “cart” went up a hill, they would all breathe, “Ahhhh . . .” with their voices rising in anticipation. And when the “cart” plunged from its summit, they would squeal, “Wheeeee!” as if speeding down the track.
Sophie’s hands were in the ready position when she turned to Sam again. “We are not really going to do this, are we?”
“C’mon. You claim to love roller coasters.”
She played along, feeling like an absolute fool, thankful that none of her students could see her. Then she not
iced the three teenagers sitting across the room, really enjoying themselves. If anything, she would have guessed kids their age would think themselves too cool to partake in such silliness.
On and on they played like children. During the next activity, they pretended to talk on the phone, hearing something hilarious on the other end of the line. They walked around the room, holding out their imaginary phones to one another as if to share the joke, laughing at each other’s stories. Sophie caught Evelyn paired up with muscle spasm man, and she was laughing so hard there were tears in her eyes—at what she did not know. The man still didn’t look like he was having such a great time.
In another part of the room, a tiny old Hispanic woman handed her invisible phone to Sam. The phone must have been microscopic because she presented it with two fingers rather than her entire hand. Sam accepted the phone in the same manner, with two fingers, held it to his ear and said, “Qe pasa?” Then he busted out laughing as if he had just been told the raunchiest joke he’d ever heard.
Sophie turned around as the teenage boy brought his phone to her ear. “Dude! You gotta hear this!” He held his chest, pretending to catch his breath. She leaned her ear toward his hand, when again came Sam’s uproarious howling.
That was it. She could no longer maintain her composure and began giggling uncontrollably at the ridiculousness of this whole scene. Evie and Sam were standing opposite each other, and Evie was doubled over with laughter. Between Evie and herself, Evie had always been the more reserved, but she was really letting loose. Her mascara had even smeared at the corner of her eyes. Poor thing. She really needed this, more than Sophie would have guessed.
By now, the room could have easily been a rain forest, it had become so sticky. However, Sophie could not stop laughing in the midst of the muggy chaos. She pulled her shirt away from her body, waving it back and forth in an attempt to dilute the humidity. Soon her stomach muscles ached from her laughter, and she was rapidly overheating, in need of a cool shower.
Sam caught her eye from across the room, and they watched Evie laugh her little heart out. He gave Sophie a wink. She wrapped her arms around herself before bringing her hand to her mouth, trying to subdue her amusement, and silently thanked him.
This day had been a lovely gift. Given by him. It made her wonder how many days like this she had overlooked in the past. Since he entered her life, she had acquired this new awareness of such moments that before had gone unnoticed, taken for granted.
The crowd of people, the commotion around her, fell away. This could be it; she may have finally struck it rich. What did she see in his face that made her feel as if she were the only girl on the planet?
His expression softened as he smiled at her warmly. She marveled at those genuine, thoughtful eyes that conveyed affection so sincere, so selfless, she was overwhelmed with a gratitude she never thought possible. Her heart beat evenly, peacefully, strangely locked away from any fear she had ever possessed.
Fourteen
The morning after laughter yoga, Sophie got up feeling more rested than she had been in a long time. Normally, she woke several times during the night. Last night she didn’t recall a thing after her head hit the pillow. If only she could laugh like that every day—imagine the sleep she could get.
When she called Sam to talk about where they would have lunch that day, there was despondence in his voice, something she was not used to.
“Is everything okay?”
“No, it’s not,” he said. “We’re gonna have to cancel lunch.” The emotion in his words scared her. Maybe his mom had taken a turn.
“What’s wrong, Sam?”
“I gotta take Abby to the vet. It’s time.”
“Oh, no. You’re sure?”
“She’s in bad shape, Soph. I can’t watch her like this.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“You don’t have to do that. It’ll be fine.”
“Well, I want to,” she said, choking up. “I want to say goodbye, too.”
“Are you sure?” he asked doubtfully. “I don’t want you to have to go through that again.”
“I’m coming to pick you up.”
They drove in silence. Sam sat in the passenger’s seat, holding the Whippet-sized mutt in his arms while stroking her fur. Sophie wondered if Abby was in any pain; she didn’t whine or complain, although animals seldom did when they were sick.
Stupid pets! Why couldn’t they ever go in their sleep like they were supposed to?
“This isn’t necessary, you know,” Sam said. “I knew it was coming. It’s not like it’s a real shocker.”
“I don’t care. You are not doing this by yourself.” Sophie had asked her mom to come with her when it was time to put Heidi down.
When they stepped inside the veterinarian’s office, there was a burly man already seated, wearing a baseball cap and Cubs sweatshirt, waiting with a young boy. The man held the leash to their Chihuahua, who shook convulsively when Sam and Sophie entered. It was always funny seeing a large man with such a dainty breed.
“What’s wrong with that dog, Dad?” the boy asked when he noticed Abby.
The man cast Sam a look of empathy. “He probably needs some medicine, buddy.”
“Can I pet him?”
“Nah, I think you oughta let him be. Why don’t you hold Rambo while we wait?”
Rambo. What an appropriate name for a dog that quivers like a Mexican jumping bean, Sophie thought.
An assistant dressed in Scooby Doo scrubs came out from behind the front desk. “Hello, Mr. Collins,” said the middle-aged woman; they were already expecting him. “Hello, Abby girl.” She rubbed Abby’s face. “Will your friend be coming back, too?” she asked Sam.
“I don’t know. It’s up to her.”
It hit Sophie that perhaps Sam wanted to do this alone, and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her so. She had assumed that because she would want someone with her, he would, too. “I didn’t even make sure you were okay with me coming. Whatever you want.”
“Sophie, I’m good either way. If I wanted to be alone, I’d tell you. Really.”
“Then I want to come with you.”
The assistant led them into an exam room, and Sam laid Abby on the table while Sophie took a seat in the corner. “Right now, I’m just giving Abby an injection to relax her, then I’ll take her in the back. We’ll put in a catheter, which we’ll use to administer the drug,” she explained. “I’ll bring her back in and give you a few moments to say good-bye, then the doctor will come in and give her a sedative, and finally the euthanasia solution.”
“Got it.” Sam swiped the corner of his eye.
She put her hand on his shoulder. “It’s peaceful and it’s painless. She won’t feel a thing.” He nodded as she gently lifted Abby from the table. He opened the door leading to the back room, then closed it behind her.
Sophie wasn’t sure what to do. She wanted to comfort him, but worried about making things worse. He lingered at the door, his head lowered. His clenched hand briefly pressed to his brow before he turned to her. With a forced smile, he shoved his hands in his pockets. She wasn’t going to ask him how he was doing, or if he was okay; that would be an ignorant question. Of course he wasn’t okay. When he took the seat beside her, she just held his hand.
They sat quietly for a while, then he kissed her hand before taking it in both of his, holding it in his lap. “It’s all good,” he finally said. “She’s been a great friend.”
Another employee came in, accompanying the assistant, and laid a fluffy blanket on the floor without saying a word. Abby was placed on the blanket. “Okay, we’ll give you a few minutes.”
Sam and Sophie took a seat on the floor next to her as she lay on her side. She already seemed much sleepier, but her eyes were still open. Her fur was coarse under Sophie’s fingertips, her ribs protruding. She hadn’t been eating much and the weight had fallen from her.
Sophie wondered what was going through Sam’s
mind as he gazed down at Abby, his hand resting on her face. Sophie bowed her head, covertly glancing up at him. It was less an attempt to spy on him than an effort to keep from tearing up; she couldn’t bear to stay fixated on Abby. He smiled wistfully, seemingly unaware that Sophie was still in the room. “It’s okay, girl. I won’t forget you.”
As Sophie watched him, an image flashed of a man playing in the grass with the dog that had been with her in the barn. The Australian Shepherd ran circles round him, and the man had his arms out, as if about to tackle her. Sophie couldn’t make out his features, but she knew it was the same person who had been working on the tractor. He turned.
It was Sam. He had a different face, but it was Sam.
She drew in a quick breath. Sam looked up, about to ask what was wrong, when the veterinarian entered with the syringes. “Hello, Mr. Collins,” he said gently. “Are we ready?”
After a solemn drive home, Sophie followed Sam to his front door. She decided to tell him about her strange daydreams, but it could wait until another time. “Do you want to call it a day? You’re probably not in the mood for company.”
He unlocked the door, before turning to give her a short kiss. “I’m fine. I want you to stay.” Ushering her inside, he plopped himself down on the couch, playfully motioning for her to join him. He really did seem all right, but she wasn’t sure if he was putting up a front.
For a moment, his gaze lingered on Abby’s bed that sat in the corner of the room. He cleared his throat.
“You probably think I’m avoiding things too much,” he said. “Honestly, I have to say it’s a relief. Each day I kept hoping she would go on her own. She’s not in any more pain, and I’m more than good with that.”
Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. He really was capable of walking the walk, at least in this instance. There were a lot worse things in this world than losing your pup, but when you’ve had a pet for that long, it’s still tough. When Sophie had to let Heidi go, she brooded for a week.
“Thank you for coming with me,” he said.
“Thank you again for bringing me and Evie to that class. It was surprisingly beneficial. Just what she needed.”
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