by Skyla Madi
As soon as the cool air hit my face, I inhaled deeply allowing as much air as possible to fill my lungs. The oxygen swooped in so fast my head spun and I was certain my lungs were going to pop like a balloon. I dropped my head onto Eli’s shoulder as he carried me onto a grassy area. I gripped him tighter as he bent over and sat me on the grass, leaning me up against a tree. Eli knelt between my legs, leaning right into my face.
“I need you to breathe slowly. In. Out. In. Out.”
Trying to breathe in a rhythm physically hurt my chest and whenever my breathing slowed, I’d panic and it’d kick up a notch again.
Mila and Zavion approached from the left and I pulled my knees to my chest, burying my face in them. I was embarrassed.
“Are you okay?” They asked, almost in unison.
Thankfully, Eli answered for me.
“She needs space and I’m going to take her for a walk. Tell Tay he’s has to referee the rest of the exam.”
“Tay left just after you took Ruby outside.” Zavion replied.
“Okay.” The confusion in Eli’s voice was obvious. “The clipboard is on the ground, where Ruby was sitting. Give it to Guardian Sera and tell her to take over.”
When I was sure they’d left, I lifted my head. Eli was looking at me, waiting for me to let him know when I was okay.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” He asked, rising to his feet.
He extended his hand to me and I took as helped me to my feet. I bit my lip nervously and entwined my fingers. After we walked for a few minutes he finally spoke.
“What happened?”
I flicked my hair over my shoulder and rubbed the back of my neck. Strangely, it felt stiff and sore.
“I don’t know.” I muttered. “I was talking to Tay and thinking about Hank and it just...happened.”
Eli stuffed his hands into the pockets of his pants. “That night is over, you beat Hank. You were better than him and you got away. I know the memories are still fresh in your mind, but know that you are safe here at Sage. You are untouchable and the more you think about it, the more these panic attacks will reoccur.”
His words echoed through my mind. Untouchable? Safe? If that was true, why didn’t I feel safe? In the pit of my stomach a horrible feeling stirred.
“About last night.” He began, interrupting my thoughts. “I think instead of pretending like it didn’t happen, I should apologize. It was wrong of me to take advantage of your emotional vulnerability.”
I stopped walking and stuffed my hands into my own pockets. “You didn’t take advantage of me Eli, I’m not a child.”
And I wasn’t. I was eighteen, which gave me the right to vote, drink and do anything I wanted, really. Last night was a consenting kiss between two adults and I knew he enjoyed it as much as I did. I felt it.
“Now that I’ve apologized, I want to put it behind us and forget about it.” He continued, as if I never said anything.
Forget about it? If only it was that easy. There was no way I’d be forgetting a kiss like that anytime soon and I couldn’t even if I wanted to. It was amazing and unforgettable. But, if he really wanted me to pretend like it never happened, I’d do that for him. His green eyes locked onto mine and they were intense—almost pleading.
“What we did last night was...” He sighed and drew his hands up to pinch the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. When he took his hands away and opened his eyes, he said. “It was incredible, but it was also stupid. Being a guardian angel is all I know and it’s all I want to do. I can’t take any more risks... I won’t take any more risks.”
He was right. If we were caught, that would be it for him. He’d be banished from our communities and forced to live with humans. Nothing would happen to me, but he’d lose everything.
“Fine.” I agreed. “I’ll forget about it.”
He smiled tightly and reached out to me before closing his fist and dropping it back to his side. He wanted to touch me and I realized my body was tense and my breathing slightly shallow because I wanted him to touch me, too.
“Thank you.” He said, his gaze flicking to the grass momentarily.
I nodded, a little saddened by the thought of it never happening again.
***
We walked back to the auditorium in silence and I couldn’t tell if it was a comfortable silence or an awkward one. We entered the building and the fights were still going. Two unknown male guardian angels were fighting it out in an intense brawl. They did high kicks, low kicks, rolls and flips. I envied the way they moved. If I had skills like that, I’d hunt Hank down and take him on myself. My eyes scanned the front row until I saw Zavion and Mila sitting where I was earlier, at the far end of the auditorium. Keeping my head down, I walked over to them and slipped into the chair beside Mila.
“How are you?” asked Mila, touching my hand.
“I’m a lot better now, thanks.” I scratched my head, more out of nervousness than itchiness. “I’m sorry I freaked out, I have no idea what happened.”
Even after Hank killed my mum and turned me, I never had a panic attack. Today was a first for me and it was scary. I thought I was going to die.
“It’s okay. You’ve been through a lot.” She said.
I nodded, unnerved by her sympathetic eyes. I didn’t want to talk about me anymore so I subtly changed the subject.
“Has Cloud fought yet?” I asked, turning my attention to the mats in the middle of the room.
“She didn’t show up for the test. She was matched up against Raphael.” Zavion replied, leaning into our conversation from his chair.
“Maybe she slept in?” I suggested with a shrug of my shoulders.
He snickered. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Does Raphael pass automatically because his partner didn’t show up?” I wondered aloud.
“Nah, he’ll fight your angel.”
I fronwed. My angel? Oh, right. He meant Eli. I smiled at the term my angel. Eli was my angel and so far he was always there for me even when I wasn’t in immediate danger.
A woman called Raphael to the fighting mats and her deep, husky voice pulled me from my thoughts. She was very tall and slender—definitely super model material—unlike the other guardian women who were thick and fit. Her auburn hair glistened in the sun that shone through the dusty windows and in her hands, she held Eli’s clipboard. She must be Sera. Sera was very pretty, but her skin was a little weathered from age and no doubt fighting. She looked about my mother’s age, maybe even a little older.
“Raphael Ames will be fighting his mentor, Eli De Luca, due to his opponent not arriving today.” Sera announced.
“Why don’t they get a god to fight Raphael?” I asked Zavion. “They used you.”
“I was approached to fill in two days ago. Cloud not showing up is too sudden to replace her.”
Eli stepped up to the mat and I noticed he’d switched his black guardian for a rather sexy pair of black sweat pants. I could have sworn I heard all of the girls sigh as Eli pulled his shirt off, revealing a black tank top that clung tightly to his torso muscles. Good. God. I’d never really seen so much of him exposed and it was... it was... words failed me.
Sera blew her whistle and it pulled me from my muscle filled gaze. They crouched and Eli circled Raphael rapidly, trying to seize him from behind. Raphael was definitely trained to avoid that situation and he managed to keep Eli in front of him the whole time. Raphael lunged toward Eli and Eli spun out of the way, kicking Raphael in the lower back. Raphael stumbled forward, but managed to gain his balance before he fell flat on his face. Raphael whipped around to face Eli, his face determined and angry. He launched himself at Eli and they immediately became locked in battle, their hands moving quick and fast. I gasped—never before have I seen such an exciting display of speed and force. Eli wasn’t slowing down just because Raphael was his student and Raphael wasn’t taking it easy just because Eli was his trainer. Eli’s speed was hard to focus on and although Raphael was
fast, he was no Eli.
Eventually, the match came to an end after Raphael was pinned to the ground. My lips twitched as Eli helped Raphael to his feet with a wide, proud smile over his face, his chest rose and fell in a rapid pant and the thin layer of clean sweat on his skin glistened in the light.
“Ruby?”
I snapped my gaze toward Mila. Was I staring? Had she noticed?
“Hm?”
She frowned at me. “I said it’s breakfast time. You coming?”
“Oh.” I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear as I spared a quick glance at Eli. He was chatting to Raphael and I cleared my throat. “Yeah.”
I walked alongside Mila as students drifted from the auditorium, undoubtedly heading to the common room. I glanced over my shoulder and observed Eli as he lifted his shirt to wipe the sweat off his forehead. My mouth went dry as my eyes settled on his stomach—and what a stomach it was. I swallowed thickly and hauled my stare higher, until I met his brilliant bright green eyes. I felt the heat rise instantly to my cheeks as our eyes locked from across the auditorium. I wanted to look away, but I found myself trapped by the magnetic pull of his gaze, and I stared back shamelessly as my eyes devoured the face that watched me curiously. I wanted to run over to him and tell him how amazed I was, but I figured it wouldn’t be much of a compliment. He was only fighting a student, after all. His shirt fell from his fingertips, concealing his alluring flesh and I flicked my sights to my shoes. What the hell was wrong with me?
***
The dining hall was fuller than I anticipated, but Mila and I found seats next to two students. One was noticeably a god and the other, a guardian angel. They were both boys and looked a little older than Mila and I.
“Goddesses.” They both greeted and smiled at us.
I smiled back and produce my politest voice. “I’m Ruby and this is Mila. Can we sit?”
“Of course,” He smiled broadly. “I’m Gabriel and this is Hunter.” He gestured to his friend who gave us a once over with his annoyingly alluring blue eyes.
Gabriel was the guardian angel, I assumed. He was average looking with blond hair and a group of light freckles that evenly spread across both cheeks and the bridge of his nose. He looked innocent enough, but the friend on the other hand, gave off that troubled, bad boy vibe.
***
Over breakfast we had a rather interesting conversation. Gabriel was on his second to last year before graduating and joining the official guardian angel ranks. Hunter was also on his second year before graduating. He, however, was supposedly joining the higher power’s army against vampires and their leaders.
Soon, Gabriel took the conversation from a group thing and made it more of intimate discussion with Mila, leaving Hunter and I to eat in silence.
“So, you’re the vamp girl?” asked Hunter, breaking the silence and dropping his fork against the sparse porcelain plate.
My heart dropped into my stomach, almost forcing up the muesli I was eating. In an effort to buy myself some time, I quickly plucked my cup from the table and took a long sip.
“No, I’m not.” I said, once I placed my cup back down on the table. I picked up my spoon, but couldn’t bring myself to scoop another mouthful. I glanced up at Hunter and promptly regretted it as my eyes met his. He was looking down at me, his eyes dancing while his mouth remained curved in a lopsided smirk.
“Don’t worry, I find it sexy,” he said, finishing with a sultry wink and his smile widened as fire rushed through my cheeks.
My spoon clatters against my bowl as I drop it. I turned slightly in my chair and leaned towards Mila’s ear.
“We need to go,” I mumbled, hearing Hunter chuckle under his breath.
Mila looked at me and opened her mouth to protest, but after a quick glance at my face, she quickly stood up and said goodbye to Gabriel.
My shoes tapped along the tiles as I forced my feet to walk me as quickly as they old from the hall.
“What’s wrong?” She asked as we left the common room.
I stuffed my hands into my jean pockets and shrugged. “They’re seniors.”
It was weird for me to refer to them as seniors because at my human school I was a senior. This particular school ends when you’re twenty-two. I didn’t want to tell Mila what Hunter said to me. I didn’t want to add to her guilt about telling Raina.
“So?” She scoffed, a slight smile playing over her lips. “Gabriel was nice.”
I stopped walking and whipped my hand out of my pocket to grab her arm. “Do you like him?”
“He’s cute.”
“He’s also an angel—your uncle isn’t going to like that.”
I knew it was unfair of me to play that card because I wanted to get away from Hunter, but I was also looking out for Mila. I didn't want her to get hurt. If they saw each other again and it became serious, Gabriel finished school before Mila and the higher power would forbid it anyway.
“I know.”
“Can’t you two sleep with boys your own age?” a voice snickered behind us.
Mila’s cheery expression slowly fell, mimicking my own annoyed scowl. Cautiously, we turned around. No surprise there. Raina and two of her closest idiots were leaning against a railing by us. The fact they dressed so similarly everyday unnerved me. You’d think their brains were connected, or something. The short, bright colored dresses with the flowing skirts were headache inducing.
“Can’t you sleep with someone that isn’t related to you?” Mila countered, stepping in before I could say anything.
My jaw dropped open as Mila took care of herself and then I smiled at the slight look of shock on Mila’s face. She had no idea she had it in her either. Raina cringed as her friends turned their disgusted, wide-eyed stares in her direction.
“You’re disgusting,” Raina grunted, whipping around on her heel and storming off with two very confused, very disgusted friends behind her.
“What was that about?” I laughed.
“Once, when we were little, I dared Raina to kiss her brother and she did,” Mila explained, walking a head of me. I watched her for a few seconds before jogging to catch up to her.
I frowned. “You knew her when you were little?”
“We used to be best friends,” she informed me with a casual shrug like she didn’t just turn my world upside down. “We live in these communities. It’s not unusual for our kind to know each other from birth.”
Although it explained a lot, the thought of Mila being best friends with someone like Raina made me cringe and I was glad Mila didn’t turn out like her.
***
After today's events, I invited Mila to come sleep at my dorm room tonight. I wanted company to distract me from thinking about my panic attack and Eli—and Hank—my mind had a way of coming back to him. As much as I tried to think about something else, the night of my mother’s death and the night in the cabin kept creeping back into my mind and I was scared of what might happen if I was alone. I know the school is protected, but I just didn’t feel safe. I felt like Hank could snatch me from my bed at any moment.
***
While Mila went to gather a few things from her house (that she lived in with her uncle) I strolled back to auditorium to talk to Eli. I wanted to thank him for helping me with my little panic attack. I was still confused why it occurred out of nowhere and in front of so many people instead of when I was alone and at my most vulnerable.
When I found Eli, he was still in the auditorium, picking up the fighting mats and collecting rubbish. We were alone and I was excited by the thought.
“I thought I’d find you here,” I called out, drawing his attention to me.
He smiled, straightening himself to full height. “Someone has to clean it.”
Eli bent over to scoop his black t-shirt off the floor and pulled in on over his tank top as he sauntered over to me, dropping into a seat in the front row.
“What’s up?” He asked, looking up at me from underneath thick, dark eyelashes.
&
nbsp; “I just wanted to thank you for helping me.” I lowered myself into the seat next to him. “I didn’t really get a chance to earlier.”
“You’re welcome. It’s what I’m here for.”
A warm sweat formed in the palms of my hands and I ran them over my knees. An awkward silence filled the air between us and I watched Eli as he agitatedly ran his fingers through his hair.
“Ruby, there was something I left out of our conversation about last night.”
I nodded slowly, entwining my fingers.
“I think it would be...better for our situation if we only see each other when other people are around. Only in extreme circumstances should we be alone together.”
My brows furrowed, but I couldn’t hold back a smile. “You make me sound like a rapist.”
I thought I was funny, but Eli didn’t find my comment humorous, at all. “I'm serious, Ruby.”
I felt my lips thin into a line. “So we can’t even be friends and hang out casually?”
His green eyes dropped to the floor, avoiding my face. “No.”
“Why?”
“Because…” he paused, planning his next words carefully. His breathtakingly green eyes locked onto mine. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep my hands off you.” He confessed in a low tenor and my breath almost hitched. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to resist you.”
His eyes locked intently on my lips and there was no doubt in my mind that he pondered the possibility of tasting them again. “I’m sure you could... if you tried.”
Strangely, I found myself closing the distance between us as I lazily leaned toward him. I couldn’t stop myself, in this moment we were magnets and our eyes locked as he leaned into me, too, bringing his face just inches from mine. “No, I can’t.”
A slight shudder tore through me as an all-too-familiar electric current began to tingle all over me. My mouth watered at the thought of our lips connecting again. His eyes darkened and he angled his body toward me. He was going to kiss me and I bit my lip in anticipation as his firm hand slid over the ball of my knee and up my thigh. He leaned even closer, his eyes watching mine the whole time. I gasped as my heart stuttered, stopped and then picked up again at an erratic pace.
