My sister. I didn’t know you were awake! Gabril said it took you two days to recover last time.
That’s because last time I healed a stubborn old man whose heart refused to obey mine until I used everything I had to overpower it. It’s easier when the person wants the same thing I want. Your dragon heart fought me, but there was enough of you left in there to make healing you easier than I expected. Your thoughts seem much clearer now. Congratulations on surpassing the vocabulary of my bird.
Very funny. The image of Sasha riding his shoulder while slapping him with her wing and occasionally pecking at his face came unbidden to his mind. Instantly, he tried to think of something else, but it was too late.
She’s protective. Lorelai sounded amused.
I was carrying you to safety!
Well . . . in all fairness, you did try to kill me.
He felt like she’d heaped burning stones onto his shoulders. It took everything he had to keep his eyes on hers. I’m so sorry, Lorelai. I don’t know how to apologize enough for that. Or for being in Nordenberg with Irina. I owe you a debt I can never repay.
You didn’t kill Leo. She sounded weary. And I believe you when you tell me Irina twisted her words, forcing you into an agreement you never intended. As for trying to kill me after she took your human heart, it wasn’t you. Not the true you.
You risked your life to save mine. Again.
It’s becoming an annoying habit of mine. She gave him a smile that suddenly reminded him how red her lips were against the paleness of her cheek.
He refused to pursue that line of thought now that she was inside his mind again. He had better things to think about anyway. Like how soon she could be ready to send a barrier into Eldr. And how long it would take to get there. And maybe—
As long as we’re apologizing, I guess I should say I’m sorry for being aware of your thoughts long before I said anything to you, but—
Wait a minute. How long were you aware? His mind flashed back to wondering how it might feel to kiss her.
Her mouth dropped open and tiny spots of color bloomed on her cheeks. I meant I heard you thinking about ogres and Irina and Brig. I didn’t . . . Were you really thinking—
Oh, skies, no. Okay . . . maybe. Just for a minute. I’m a male. We do things like that all the time even when we should be thinking about something else. And I was thinking about other things. Lots of other things. That was just one stray thought out of many.
He was an idiot. He’d never stumbled over his words before with a girl. Never lost his ability to be charming while still keeping his distance from the many girls at the academy who’d wanted to kiss the prince so they could brag about it to their friends afterward.
How many girls have you kissed? She sounded curious.
The answer seared itself across his brain before he could bury it beneath thoughts of math equations and flight drills.
Seriously? That many? Was there some sort of competition you just had to win?
It was . . . There were a lot of girls at my school.
She rolled her eyes. Well, keep your lips to yourself. I have more important things to do.
He had more important things to do too. He had a kingdom to save, his heart to retrieve (if Irina had told him the truth about keeping it safe), and a sister who needed her brother to come home.
Grief, raw at the edges and weary in the center, filled him and flooded his thoughts before he could stop it. He was walking down the long hall that led to the throne room again, only this time he knew what waited for him. He was standing in the icy waters of Lake Skyllivreng, but the words he wanted to say to his family were too small to encompass what they meant to him. He was kneeling on the platform above the throne room while the head of the royal council placed his father’s crown on his head and gave him the full responsibility for ruling a nation on its deathbed. And he was being crushed by the weight of it all. He was making decisions out of desperation, sacrificing what was left of himself so that he could do this one thing right. So that he could save Eldr.
Did the cost of Eldr’s salvation have to leave so much wreckage behind?
Her breath caught, and he looked up to find tears in her eyes and an image of her brother—the boy with the irrepressible smile and the reckless light in his eyes—lying quiet as a statue in the meadow outside Nordenberg.
Part of the wreckage.
Leo isn’t part of your wreckage. He’s part of Irina’s. Her own grief, just as raw as his, struck him hard, and he closed his eyes. Having something that was his alone pulled out of the darkest recesses of his mind and given to her without his permission was infinitely worse than having her see that he’d thought of kissing her. He was absolutely certain she felt the same about the grief that belonged only to her.
I can learn how to block you. She wasn’t looking at him when he opened his eyes. That’s why you can’t hear Irina’s thoughts even though her magic has been inside you. She’s touched so many people with her magic that she wouldn’t have a secret thought left if she didn’t block others. Gabril knows how to do it, and he can teach me. We don’t have to be forced into sharing everything like this.
Before he could filter it, he thought of himself, cut off from everyone, trapped with only his dragon heart, a collar whose power was barely held in restraint by Lorelai’s, and the inability to share his thoughts with anyone at all if Lorelai blocked her mind from his.
She pressed her lips together, and drew in a deep breath, but he already knew what she was going to say before she said it. The truth was in the way her thoughts softened toward him. The compassion that unfurled in the midst of her weariness and grief.
He couldn’t ask it of her.
Yes. Block me. He forced himself to focus on the words. To be resolute and to bury every shred of longing for his final piece of connection with another person. That’s what I want.
You’re a terrible liar.
He laughed, though it wasn’t funny. He’d gone his entire life fooling everyone around him—with the possible exception of Brig—into thinking he was nothing but a charming daredevil who couldn’t take anything seriously, because it had been easier to take his father’s disappointment when Kol could tell himself he’d courted it on purpose. But there was no hiding from Lorelai. She’d already seen the worst he had to offer, and the longer they stayed connected, the more parts of himself he accidentally put on display.
You aren’t the only one who is uncomfortably vulnerable here. She sat up and braided her long hair with swift fingers. You can see me just as much as I can see you. If this is going to work—
It doesn’t have to work. Block me.
She rolled her eyes. If this is going to work, we need some ground rules.
Or you could just block me.
She stabbed a finger in his direction. Stop arguing with me. I’m not leaving you trapped inside yourself with no one to talk to.
His thoughts warmed toward this girl who kept surprising him at every turn with the size of her heart and the strength of her spirit.
You keep rescuing me.
Don’t let it go to your head. She gave him a crooked smile. I’m sure one of these days you’ll have the chance to rescue me instead.
I hope not. He got to his feet and offered her his hand. I hope you stay completely out of danger.
She took his hand, her palm sparking against his with the tingle of her magic, and rose to face him. Her dark eyes were steady.
Ground rules. No poking into each other’s thoughts on purpose. No digging deeper into things we accidentally show each other. And no dumb thoughts about kissing when we have so many other things to worry about. All right?
All right. He leaned away from her as his collar whispered to hurt, punish, kill, and the pain that lingered in the wake of Irina’s magic throbbed dully.
And you have to immediately show me if the pain gets worse, or if you start to lose control. She flexed her fingers and looked at his chest, now covered with a shirt borrowed from
Gabril. Now, let’s go eat. I’m going to need my strength.
For the barrier in Eldr? He didn’t bother trying to hide how much her answer meant to him.
Yes. Her eyes were on his again as he held the tent flap open, letting in a gust of cold air and a peek at an indigo sky slowly fading to black.
And then do you have somewhere safe to go? Somewhere to hide from Irina? You can always go to Eldr if you want.
She lifted her chin. I’m not the one who needs somewhere safe to hide.
Images spun through her mind—a bridge collapsing into the water, communications towers toppling, and Irina clutching her heart as every spell she used against Lorelai’s onslaught weakened her further. His collar’s whispers skittered and screamed as the princess’s plan unfolded before him.
He met her gaze. You’re going after Irina.
Once Eldr is safe, yes.
Lorelai, what you’re planning . . . You’re going to war.
Her eyes were fierce. That’s right. I’m going to destroy her defenses, provoke her to use magic so that she grows weaker by the day, and then I’m returning to my castle, and I’m taking it back.
His dragon heart thundered, a vicious tempo that lit the fire in his chest. Irina tricked me.
Yes, she did.
She stole my human heart and trapped me with this collar.
Lorelai leaned close. Want to help me?
He bared his teeth in a smile every bit as fierce as hers. I thought you’d never ask.
TWENTY-SIX
IRINA CLENCHED HER mirror with a white-knuckled grip and glared at its surface. It was the morning of the seventh day after she’d flooded the Eldrian king with her magic, taken his human heart, and sent him, wild with rage and pain, back into the Falkrains to find and destroy the princess.
It had been a simple command. The strength of the collar’s painful spell combined with the viciousness of his dragon heart should have compelled him to obey her.
And yet he defied her.
She hadn’t been sure at first. She’d scryed the surface of her mirror several times a day, but she’d seen nothing useful. He’d been walking, sometimes crawling, sometimes hanging on to tree trunks as if he needed their help to stand.
Without allowing him to see her thoughts through the connection her magic had forged between them—something no one but Raz was ever allowed to do—she couldn’t be sure of his intent. She’d assumed he was hunting the princess, slowed by the injuries she’d inflicted.
The truth set her blood ablaze with rage.
She stared at the mirror’s surface, her teeth clenched so hard that little shocks of pain reverberated up her jaw as the swirling clouds of the mirror’s surface parted to reveal the princess walking through a forest of hornbeam trees with the king by her side.
Not trying to kill her. Not ripping out her heart. Smiling at her when she looked at him, though he sometimes curled his hands into fists as if fighting the urge to hurt her like he was supposed to do.
“Fool.” Irina spat the word at the mirror’s surface while her heart pounded and her palms burned.
He acted as though he wasn’t under a blood oath to fulfill the task she’d given him. As if his kingdom wasn’t on the line.
As if he could ignore her express orders without incurring any consequences.
Had he forgotten whom he was dealing with?
Irina’s hands shook as she stared at Kolvanismir and Lorelai. The man who’d helped Lorelai escape wasn’t visible in the mirror’s surface. He hadn’t been since the first time she’d seen the princess.
He was of no consequence. She’d had his sketch drawn from the memories she’d found in the king’s blood. Viktor had recognized him immediately as Gabril Busche, the former head of the palace guard. She’d thought he was dead. She’d attended his funeral.
She’d be happy to attend it again.
But he didn’t matter now. She could use him against Lorelai if necessary, but she didn’t want to bear the strain that would take. Not when she’d already used so much power to create the perfect huntsman.
No, what mattered now was sending a reminder to the king that breaking an oath with a mardushka was not an option.
Not if he ever wanted to take another pain-free breath again.
Setting the mirror down on her vanity with a sharp click, she scooped up a blue velvet bag with a black ribbon drawstring. Loosening the ribbon, she poured the contents of the bag into her palm.
The moment the scraps of thistle and bone touched her skin, her magic flared, and she felt the connection to the king’s collar.
She closed her fingers over the thistle and bone, locked eyes with the mirror’s surface, and said, “Kaz`lit. May the punishment I deem worthy for his crime flood his body with pain.”
Power poured out of her, sizzling against the bits she held in her hand. She felt the heart of the thistle she’d used for the collar surge beside the heart of the wolf she’d slain to harvest its bones. She’d conquered both hearts long ago. Now it was simply a matter of using them to conquer the king’s heart as well.
And then Lorelai would die, and Irina would finally be at peace.
Maybe the king thought Irina couldn’t hurt him if she wasn’t beside him. Maybe he didn’t understand that once the heart of a living thing had been conquered by a mardushka, any object created from that heart obeyed the mardushka as well.
Or maybe he was stupid enough to think the princess’s magic would be enough to save him from the wrath of his queen.
“Kaz`lit!” She threw back her head, a vicious smile of triumph on her face as the magic connected with the hearts she’d conquered. “Flood his body with the punishment he deserves.”
The magic spilled out of her. The thistle and bone did her bidding. And when she looked down once more at the mirror’s surface, the defiant fool of a king was on his knees, his expression full of agony, as he pulled frantically at the collar around his neck.
Irina concentrated, sending every bit of rage that flooded her body straight into the collar. Let him burn from the inside out. Let him hurt in places he never knew could feel so much pain.
Let him understand the cost of betrayal.
He fell forward, his body spasming, his mouth open in a scream Irina could enjoy even if she couldn’t hear it. Talons grew from his fingertips, and she imagined the dragon’s fire in his chest scorching him, begging him to shift though his queen refused to let him.
And then the princess was there. Falling to her knees beside him. Reaching for his chest and leaving her own heart exposed.
Irina clenched the bits of thistle and bone so hard, she felt them crack as she snarled, “Kill her. Kill her now, Kolvanismir. Use your talons to rip her heart out of her chest, and the agony will stop. Eldr will be saved. Just kill her.”
She pushed more agony into his body, and a stab of pain shot through her own chest in response.
The king opened his eyes and locked gazes with the princess.
There was nothing but hunger for blood on his face.
Irina smiled and used her free hand to push at the ache in her chest.
It was almost over. She’d broken him.
The princess leaned down.
The king dug his talons into the ground beneath him.
Irina gripped the thistle and bone, pushing pain into him even while her heart stuttered and her chest burned.
And then Lorelai put her bare hands against the Kol’s chest, her eyes never leaving his, and the pain that had been pouring out of the collar rebounded toward Irina like a whip.
The queen stumbled away from the vanity, her hand still clutching the remnants of her huntsman’s collar, while fire streaked through her veins and her vision began to gray.
This wasn’t possible.
It wasn’t.
First the mountain’s heart had yielded to Lorelai and now this.
It had taken Irina ten years of training, of searching out the black clan mardushkas willing to disobey King Mil
ek’s edict and practice the darker side of their nature. Ten years to learn how to force an unwilling heart to fully submit to hers.
And yet Lorelai was doing it as if it was nothing.
Irina gasped as the fire in her veins felt like it would incinerate her where she stood. It was a wolf’s rage, a thistle’s thorns, a queen’s revenge, and a dragon’s fire.
It was unbearable.
Releasing the thistle and bone from her shaking fingers, Irina stumbled against the wall and pushed her palm against her aching chest as the truth turned her knees to water.
She’d lost her huntsman. Lorelai had declared war against her when she’d destroyed the northern command outpost. If Lorelai was on her way to the capital, all that stood between Irina and destruction was the web of magic that lay beneath the ground and the strength of Irina’s failing heart.
TWENTY-SEVEN
YOU BEAT HER. Kol stared at Lorelai, a wild light of triumph in his amber eyes. You beat Irina.
Lorelai stood beside him above the steep banks of the Silber River while Gabril scouted the area around the bend to the west where a massive bridge connected northern Ravenspire with the south. Power still gathered in her palms, and she tried to feel triumphant as well. She’d done it. She’d battled the magic that poured out of the collar, and she’d shoved it back toward Irina until it was once again bearable for Kol.
Irina had fought her for him, and Lorelai had won.
She hadn’t been able to remove the collar, but still—she’d won.
Lorelai knew she should be thrilled, but instead she looked away from Kol and sagged slowly onto the damp clumps of river grass that clung to the rocky bank.
Lorelai?
She was stronger. She could beat the queen.
Her chest ached sharply as the truth sliced into her. She could beat the queen, which meant she could’ve saved Leo.
She stared at her hands while grief thickened her throat and shame sank into her heart like a stone.
Why hadn’t she ripped off her gloves at the first sign of Irina? Why hadn’t she stood alone in the street and faced the queen while Leo was safe in the blacksmith’s shop?
The Shadow Queen (Ravenspire) Page 20
