Every spell she used to fight Lorelai weakened her. Every failure to stop the princess’s onslaught sent bands of pain around her chest until the very act of breathing was torture. She needed to repair her heart, and there were no prisoners from Morcant in her dungeon. For all she knew, besides Lorelai, there were no other Morcantians within Ravenspire’s borders.
Except one.
She had yet to decide if she could bear to sacrifice that one, even to keep the life she deserved.
The door to her sitting room clicked open, and Viktor’s familiar steps moved across her floor. She turned to find him standing behind her holding a tray with soup and bread, his expression gentle.
“It’s been a hard week for you,” he said as he set the tray on a side table, beckoned her inside the room, and closed the balcony door behind her. His gaze fell on the gold box clutched in her hand, and slowly the gentleness in his face hardened into something like pain. “What are you doing with that?”
She looked at the box. “I need a new heart.”
He frowned. “The boy will come through for you. He’ll bring you Lorelai’s heart, and this will all be—”
“He won’t. He defies me. He’s with the princess now, allied with her while she uses her magic to combat mine.” She looked at Viktor and for once let him see the fear that ate at her night and day. “Lorelai is stronger than me. She’s coming back to finish what she started.” Her eyes stung. “I’m going to die, Viktor. Either because Lorelai will kill me, or because my own heart will give out.”
As if to prove her point, her heart gave a sudden leap and pain spread along her collarbone to reside in her jaw. She set the box down with a sharp click and clutched at her chest. Viktor was at her side in seconds.
“Sit.” He half dragged, half carried her into the nearest chair and kept his arms wrapped around her. His voice was heavy with worry. “You can get better. I know you can. Just stop doing magic for a while. Let yourself regain your strength—”
“I won’t regain my strength.” She caught his hand in hers and held it as her magic tingled in her palm, waiting to exert itself over his willing heart. “Not without help.”
“I’ll help you.” He crouched beside her, his blue eyes earnest.
“I know a spell that will take the remaining years from another’s heart and give them to mine. I’ve tried it over and over again on our prisoners, but it just makes me weaker. My magic refuses to accept a heart from Ravenspire.”
“Maybe it isn’t where they’re born. Maybe you need nobility—”
“I’ve tried. Ravenspire nobility. Akram nobility. Gentry from my kingdom and others.” She picked up the gold box again and cradled it as the boy’s heart thumped steadily inside. “The only hearts I haven’t tried are those from Eldr or Morcant.”
She kept her eyes on the box as she waited for Viktor to understand what she already knew.
Viktor took her hands in his, box and all. “It’s one thing to punish your prisoners. It’s another to take more from the king of Eldr than he’s promised you.”
She tightened her hold on the box and met his gaze. “I told you. I’m dying.”
“Then walk away from this.” His eyes begged her to listen. “We’ll go to Súndraille. I hear there’s a fae in exile there who can perform miracles for the right price. We could get your heart cured and buy a ship. Sail the seas and find an island—”
“I’m not leaving.” She pulled her hands from his and raised the box so that it glittered in the candles that lit her room. “I’ve fought too hard for this. Ravenspire is my kingdom, and I will not give it up. I’m going to try replenishing my heart with the Eldrian’s,” she said, and half believed it was true. She could try. Maybe this time it would work.
Or maybe Viktor, always dependable Viktor, would come up with a different solution so that she didn’t have to suggest it—didn’t have to even truly consider it—herself.
He held her gaze for a long moment, a myriad of emotions crossing his face, and then he said with quiet force, “No.”
She stared at him. “What did you say to me?”
She’d expected agreement or a logical suggestion that would solve everything. Not resistance. Not from him.
He clenched his jaw, and his eyes seemed to be begging her for something. “I said no, Irina. You cannot ruin that boy’s life any more than you already have. And if his heart proves as poisonous to yours as all the rest, you could die.”
“I will do as I please. And when I’m finished, you and I will have a discussion about your proper place—”
“We will have that discussion now.” Something wild entered his eyes. “In fact, we will discuss everything we’ve been leaving unspoken for years. Starting with the fact that you never loved King Arlen, that you might love me, and that even though I desperately want you to be safe and happy, I can’t go along with this plan of yours.”
“Not now, Viktor.” She pushed a hand against his chest, but he refused to give ground.
“Yes, now.” He ignored the icy glare she sent his way and leaned forward until she was pressed between his chest and the back of the chair. “I’ve devoted my entire life to you. I’ve given you my time, my energy, and my heart.”
“I didn’t ask for your heart.”
“No, but you took it anyway. You take, Irina, from the land, from the people, from me. And because I understand why, I’ve held my tongue. I’ve swallowed my words and my pride, knowing it was the price I had to pay to stay by your side. I understand you.” His voice gentled, and the pain inside it ripped at something Irina refused to let him see. “Unloved by those who were supposed to love you most. Passed over for the marriage and the throne that should’ve been yours. And then, when you did marry Arlen, he’d barely look at you, his children wouldn’t trust you, and the gentry treated you like an interloper instead of like their queen. The wounds run deep—”
“I’m not wounded.” Magic sped down her arms and gathered in her hands, looking for a target.
“You are. And the wounds others caused you are nothing compared to what you’re doing to yourself. Irina, you don’t have to destroy this boy and yourself to get to Lorelai. You don’t have to keep everyone too terrified of you to dare lift a finger against you.” He raised a hand and laid it softly against her cheek. “You don’t need magic to be loved. You have everything you need to be a beloved queen—a beloved woman—right here.” His hand dropped to press against her heart.
“Viktor . . .”
“I love you, Irina. Not because you wield magic. Not because you’re the queen. In fact, I love you despite those things.” He dropped to his knees and gathered her hands in his. “I love you, and I’m asking you to stop this. Please.”
She tore her gaze from his and stared at the box that held her hope. For a moment, she tried to imagine a life outside Ravenspire. Alone with Viktor on a ship, searching for an island to call their own. But if she did that, her father would win. Milek would win.
Tatiyana, with her treachery, would win.
They would have everything, and Irina would be condemned to wander with no title, no kingdom, and no power to call her own.
She pulled her hands from Viktor’s.
“Irina, please.”
“I’m not leaving.” She blinked tears from her eyes and pushed him away so she could stand. “I’m going to strengthen my heart, and then I’m going to finish what Lorelai started nine years ago. I’m going to keep what is rightfully mine.”
“How can you be sure the spell even works? Maybe the hearts haven’t been the problem. Maybe it’s—”
“It worked on my father.” She refused to look at him. “It works on a Morcantian heart. I just have to hope it also works on a heart from Eldr.”
He slowly rose to his feet. “Do you love me?”
She stopped, her hand hovering over the box, as the question burned within her.
Did she love him? What would it cost her if she did?
He moved to her side, and
repeated, “Do you love me?”
Slowly, she looked at him. At his pretty face, his rumpled cravat, and his blue eyes pleading with her to simply tell him the truth.
“Yes,” she said softly before turning back to the box. “But I can’t be happy with you if I don’t defeat Lorelai and remain on Ravenspire’s throne, and the only way I can do that is by replenishing the strength in my heart.”
“And that will heal you? It will keep you alive so that you can defeat Lorelai, remain on the throne, and finally be happy?” The grief in Viktor’s voice pulled at Irina.
She met his gaze and something shuddered inside her at what she found there. He knew the solution she’d been too afraid to put into words. “Yes. This will fix everything, and I will finally be at peace. I’ll finally be happy.”
She reached for the box, but he took her hand and pulled her against himself instead. Before she could speak, he covered her mouth with his. His kiss was wild—his lips claiming her, his teeth grazing her skin with a tiny bite of pain.
When he raised his head, he took the hand that had hovered over the gold box and placed it on his chest instead. “I meant it when I said I would not allow you to ruin that innocent boy’s life. If you really need to take the remaining years from a heart, if that is what will truly bring you peace, then you can have mine. But you cannot have his.”
She trembled as she stared at him. As the heart inside the gold box beat strongly while Irina’s heart stuttered and ached.
She’d told him the truth. She wasn’t leaving Ravenspire. Not after all she’d sacrificed to make it hers.
One more sacrifice, and then she’d be ready. She’d be powerful. She’d be unstoppable.
“Ja`dat,” she whispered, and the power burned in her hands. “Take what is his and give it to me instead.”
“Irina, stop.” Viktor sounded desperate. “Please.”
Ignoring him, she raised her hand and let the magic coursing through her give strength to her voice. “Ja`dat! Take what is his and give it to me. Give it to me!”
Her hand, wreathed in brilliant light, slammed against his chest.
His head fell back, and he cried out in agony as her magic pierced his chest and surrounded his heart.
“No,” she cried, but the spell didn’t stop.
Her will was stronger than her foolish heart.
Her will desired Ravenspire.
Her will wanted Lorelai dead.
And so she watched with tears streaming down her face as Viktor’s face aged, his hair grayed, and then he collapsed on the floor, his beautiful blue eyes cloudy and staring at nothing.
Her heart beat strong and fierce inside her chest.
Her magic coursed through her body like an avalanche of power.
Let Lorelai come for her. Let the Eldrian king try to defy her. She would crush them both. It would be Viktor’s legacy.
She bent to straighten his rumpled cravat, allowing one sob to escape her lips as she clung to his chest, and then she dried her tears and walked away.
THIRTY-FIVE
I’VE GOT YOU. Kol wrapped an arm around Lorelai’s waist beneath the water and pulled her toward the side of the cliff as the waterfall crashed above them. She kicked hard, and he pushed her upward until her head broke the surface. A second later, his head was above water too.
The curtain of falling water was behind them. A hollowed-out space in the side of the cliff was ahead. Lorelai looked at Kol, her eyes lit with something that made heat unfurl in his stomach.
We can hide there until we’re sure Irina’s trees are done looking for us. He looked over his shoulder at the curtain of water. Of course, I suppose she could have monstrous fish coming after us.
The river’s heart is mine. Lorelai flexed her fingers. I called to it the moment we hit the water.
So we’re safe for the moment?
Yes.
Sasha and Gabril too?
Her eyes darkened. I think so. Sasha will look after him until we get out of here.
Together, Kol and Lorelai found handholds in the rocky cliff side and climbed into the cave. The second she’d found her footing, he swept her into his arms and held her as if he’d never let her go.
You saved us, he said.
We saved each other.
He cradled her head against the warmth of the dragon’s fire in his chest. And you’re sure we’re safe?
I’m sure. The water will tell me if we aren’t.
Good. Then there’s nothing to stop me from kissing you properly. His heart pounded at the look in her eyes. He could no longer tell the difference between the pounding of the waterfall and the pounding of his heart. He slid his hand up her back and tangled his fingers in her dripping hair. Her cheeks flushed despite the frigid water still clinging to her skin, and the tenderness that swelled within his chest felt like it would break him into pieces.
He bent his head, and the cave spun as he pressed his lips to hers.
This time, he kissed her like the world was ending, and she was his last chance at happiness. She held on to him, and her palms tingled and burned with magic as she ran them over his arms and onto his shoulders.
He tore his lips from hers and pressed them against the side of her jaw as she clung to him.
Her magic, as if obeying some secret incantor hidden within her heart, exploded out of her hands and wrapped the two of them in bands of blinding white light that tingled on the edge of pain.
Kol brought his lips back to hers and kissed her as if he meant to never let her go.
You healed me. Kol examined his arms and legs hours later as dawn was breaking across the sky.
Um . . . yes. Remember? I slept for nearly a whole day because of it? Lorelai gave him an amused look as she finger combed the tangles out of her still-damp hair.
He raised a brow. No, I mean you healed me when you kissed me.
I think it was you who kissed me. She gave him a cheeky grin that had him wanting to cross the cave and kiss her all over again.
So do it. Her smile widened, and he laughed though pain from the collar was starting to burn in a way that it hadn’t for days. Lorelai hiked up her pant legs to examine her ankles and then looked over her arms as well. It healed me too. That’s a nice side effect. Plus it’s far more enjoyable than using an incantor to pull your injuries out of your body.
The whispers flitted through his mind—hurt, punish, kill—and he focused on Lorelai to drown them out. The collar wanted to list its wishes for Lorelai? Well, he had a list of his own. A list that kept him from seeing her as prey.
He had the image of her reaching for him, courage and compassion on her face, as he attacked. He had the way she tilted her head and squinted her gorgeous brown eyes when she was trying to figure something out. The way she lifted her chin when she was prepared to argue her point. The way her breath caught in her throat when he held her, and the red of her lips against her pale cheeks.
Cheeks that were now suffused with color.
He grinned. Embarrassed?
She concentrated on wringing water from her shirt. You notice the strangest things about me.
This from a girl who thinks my hair is both wild and adorable?
She laughed, but there were nerves behind it now. He looked to find the reason, and his stomach tightened. The capital loomed before them, just south of here. Irina was waiting, along with his human heart.
It was time to finish what they’d started.
The good news is that it took Irina a while to respond, and, while I don’t ever want to be attacked by trees again, it wasn’t as bad as the statues or the bugs. She shuddered.
You’ve weakened her.
Her smile made her look like the warrior that she was.
We have to go soon, while she’s still trying to recover, she said. This has been nice—
Nice? You wound me with understatement.
She gave him a stern look.
The whispers in his mind seemed to grow louder.
Hu
rt. Punish. Kill. Let your dragon heart do as it pleases.
He shook his head and pushed against the voices. He’d won this battle countless times. He would win it again.
It’s almost over, she said, and there was a shadow of fear in her usually confident voice. If I don’t survive, I want you to know that—
You’re going to survive. His voice was fierce as he stalked toward her, ignoring the streak of pain that wrapped around his chest. Don’t even think about the alternative.
What if I don’t? This time her fear was a palpable presence in her thoughts. He wondered if she realized that her fear was less about her survival than it was about letting down the kingdom that was depending on her.
Then I’ll kiss you again, and your magic will bring you back to life.
Magic doesn’t bring people back to life.
Then I will stay by your side to make sure you’re safe.
He pulled her to her feet, brushed his fingers across her beautiful mouth and then kissed her until her magic flared and wrapped the two of them in bands of white light that tingled against his skin like he was standing beside a winter’s fire.
He deepened the kiss, his dragon’s heart pounding like a battle drum. Did she realize the effect she had on him? That her true magic had nothing to do with the power in her hands?
She had the courage of a Draconi warrior, the power of a Morcantian mardushka, and the heart of a true princess of Ravenspire. Irina had no idea what was coming for her.
Oh, don’t I? A soft, cruel voice sliced through his mind, bringing a swath of unbearable pain in its wake.
Kol yanked himself away from Lorelai and stumbled back. His dragon heart thudded against his chest, viciously demanding blood.
Kol, what’s wrong? Lorelai stepped toward him, and he lunged away from her.
Stay back! I don’t want to hurt you.
Yes, you do. The amusement in Irina’s voice was edged with anger.
You’re scaring me. What’s going on? Lorelai put her hands up as if to calm him and tried to approach.
He took a single step back. Pain, like fire-tipped razors, flooded his body. He fell to his knees on the rough cave floor and grasped the collar with both hands while agony squeezed the breath out of his lungs. Something dark and heavy fell across his thoughts, and suddenly Lorelai’s warmth felt very far away.
The Shadow Queen (Ravenspire) Page 26
