by J. Sterling
She remembered the pain of losing her brother like it was yesterday. She wouldn’t wish that type of torture on anyone and hoped it would be easier for Katherine to let Austen go when the time was right.
****
Austen and Brody waited at the shoreline as Katherine slowly walked up behind them. Austen turned when she was near and bent down to kiss her sweetly. “I love you,” he whispered in her ear.
She smiled up at him, enjoying the sense of peace she always felt with him. “I love you too.”
They walked along the beach holding hands. Her mind focused on the fingers that were currently intertwined with her own as a positive energy swirled between them.
“Cooper’s lake house is pretty nice.”
Katherine stiffened as she nodded in agreement; she didn’t like it when he brought up Cooper. Trying to change the subject, she asked, “So, what are we going to do today?”
“What do you want to do?” he said with a broad smile. “I just want you to be happy.”
Since their big talk, their time together had been more carefree and fun as they tried to wring every bit of joy out of whatever time they had left. Austen took her places and showed her things she’d never seen before. She got to show him where she grew up and her favorite places in LA. Their relationship felt so intense all the time, they knew the only way to end it was to lighten things up.
“Hmmm, I don’t know? Where should we go? What should we see?” Katherine tapped her finger against her mouth.
“Is there anywhere you’ve always wanted to go? ’Cause I’m loaded, so it’s on me.” Austen winked.
Katherine liked when their relationship felt normal, instead of what it truly was. “Well, I’ve always wanted to go to Italy. Think you can swing it, ghost boyfriend?”
He leaned close and confided, “I can swing anything you want, living girlfriend. I’m like magic.”
He grabbed her hand and she suddenly found herself surrounded by the beauty of Venice. Canals ran through the city, spanned by arched marble bridges, narrow streets packed with tourists, and ancient buildings with boats tied up in the surrounding water.
“Wow. It’s gorgeous here. It’s so colorful…and so old.”
“You’re colorful and old,” Austen joked. She punched his arm playfully and swung their entwined hands as they walked around the city, appreciated the architecture, fed pigeons loitering noisily in the large squares, and found bliss in all their surroundings. The city seemed to be filled with people in love at every turn as couples kissed on benches, in front of fountains, museums, and churches. Everyone seemed to be holding hands with someone. Venice felt more alive than anywhere Katherine had ever been before.
“Have you ever been here?” she asked.
“Oh yeah, I used to come here with my family every year,” he deadpanned.
“Seriously?” she asked as surprise and pangs of envy tore through her.
“No.” Austen laughed. “The closest I’ve ever been to Italy was eating in Italian restaurants.”
“You’re such a brat.” She pushed him slightly.
“Takes one to know one.”
“Really? How old are you? Five?”
****
Katherine woke suddenly to the morning light streaming through the windows and into her room. She was always surprised at how quickly real time passed while she dreamed. Sitting up in bed, she looked out at the frozen lake and marveled at its beauty.
The smell of bacon and coffee wafted in from the kitchen. She pulled herself out of bed and made her way to the kitchen to where Cooper was cooking. “Can I help?” she offered.
He turned to face her and she noticed that his eyes looked swollen and red. She wondered if he had been crying and couldn’t stand the thought. “Want to set the table?” He pointed toward a stack of plates and silverware set neatly on the counter.
“Of course.” She grabbed the pile and placed them down one by one, then looked back at Cooper. He was so strong and muscular that it was hard to look away. She thought about how cute he looked in his jeans and how his black T-shirt fit him perfectly, accentuating all the muscular curves of his arms and shoulders. He turned around and caught her staring, and she felt her cheeks flush with heat.
He smiled. “Come here.”
She rested the place settings on the table and walked toward him. He set down the spatula and grabbed her, pulling her tightly against his body, and squeezed her close. She timed her breathing with his and felt his lips brush the top of her head. “I’ll wait for you.” He breathed deeply, his chest pressing into hers. “As long as it takes. I’ll wait for you.”
Her eyes burned and she felt tears forming. “I don’t deserve it.” All she could think about was how terribly she’d treated him since Thanksgiving. If he had done that to her, she’d hate him for it. At least, she’d want to.
“I love you.” Cooper had told her that twice now. “So I’ll wait.”
Katherine looked up at his piercing green eyes and knew without a doubt that he meant every word. “It might take awhile.” She didn’t want to give him false hope. She had no idea how long it would be until she was able to really let go of Austen and walk away.
“It’s not like I have anything better to do.” He winked and gently kissed her cheek.
She smiled, her heart bursting with love for the two incredible guys who had come into her life. Then she took a sniff and grinned up at him. “Except burn breakfast.”
“Oh, crap.” He grabbed the spatula and quickly turned to the stove where the eggs and pancakes had burned to a crisp. Cooper tossed the smoking pieces of food into the kitchen sink and waved the smoky smell away.
Katherine heard a rhythmic pounding as Taylor bounded down the stairs with Danny close behind. “Oh, good Lord, this kid snores like you wouldn’t believe,” Taylor screeched as she ducked and leaped around the counter, trying to stay away from him.
“Me? It’s you who snores, woman,” Danny teased, and then dove straight to her and tackled her onto the couch. He pinned her down on the cushions, tickling her as she screamed and swatted at him. Katherine glanced over at Cooper, who laughed and continued to fix breakfast.
“Can we go snowmobiling today?” Taylor asked, her tone syrupy sweet.
“I don’t see why not.” Cooper’s response made her squeal with delight. “But first, we eat,” he said as he put the last plate of food on the table, crowded with the platters of eggs, bacon, toast, and potatoes he had made for them.
“Jeez, Cooper, this is amazing. Thank you so much,” Taylor said.
“Yeah, Cooper, thank you,” Katherine added.
Taylor looked at Danny and said, “Why don’t you ever burn breakfast for me, jerk?”
Danny stared at her and shook his head mockingly. “Always making me look bad, Donovan.”
“What can I say, it’s easy.” Cooper sat down across the table from Katherine and glanced at her as he dished out food on his plate.
Katherine couldn’t stop thinking. Her head reminded her that she needed to let go of Austen, but her heart fought the notion every step of the way. A battle raged and she honestly wasn’t sure which side would win.
After breakfast, Katherine and Taylor insisted on washing the dishes while the guys prepped the snowmobiles. Cooper gassed them up, found helmets and goggles for each rider, and checked the weather online. When the girls finished, they headed outside in their winter gear. Katherine wrapped a scarf around her neck before pulling her hair back into a low ponytail. She put on the helmet, fastening the strap underneath her chin.
“Everyone ready?” Cooper shouted over the roaring engines.
All three gave a thumbs-up and the foursome raced off.
Katherine loved every minute of this adventure as the machine rumbled beneath her legs. The only thing she could compare it to was being on a jet ski in the summer waves of the Pacific. She drove fast, but wasn’t reckless. She pulled her snowmobile to a stop at a section of the lake that wasn’t shaded at all.
The ice had a thin layer of water on top of it, but Katherine thought nothing of it.
She looked around at the snow-covered trees that surrounded the lake and smiled at the way the white powder sparkled in the sunlight. She pulled her pocket camera from the inside pocket of her snowsuit, climbed off the toy she drove and walked gingerly across the ice, taking pictures with each new step. She wanted to share this day with her parents and friends back home.
As she took more photos, her friends horsed around nearby. She noticed that no matter where she went or what she did, Cooper always had his eyes on her. She smiled inside at the comfort she felt in Cooper’s protective nature.
Katherine turned and headed back to the snowmobile, her head down as she focused on the camera, scanning through the digital pictures she had just taken. The beauty of it all astounded her.
Suddenly the ice let out a thunderous howl and started to crack under the weight of the machine. Cooper must have recognized the sound instantly because he turned to yell something at Katherine. Before she had time to figure out what was going on, the ice dropped out from under her feet and her body crashed violently into the ice cold water.
A horrifying sound unlike anything she’d ever spoken tore from her lips as she reacted to the trauma. The water was so cold, it felt like a thousand needles stabbed her all at once. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. She watched, her face just underneath the water as Cooper’s terrified face rushed toward her. She could barely make out her name as it screamed from his lips. Taylor and Danny were further away, outside her line of sight, shouting something she couldn’t hear.
Katherine instinctively wanted to kick, but the water was so cold her legs wouldn’t move. Her head briefly broke through the water’s surface and she tried to grab the edge of the ice, but she could barely lift her arms. The winter clothing meant to keep her warm suddenly felt like a weighted anchor. Nothing would do what she needed it to. None of her limbs would work; her body simply refused to cooperate. She was surprised at how quickly it gave up. Everything betrayed her, even her thoughts. Her brain stopped fighting to keep her alive. It simply wanted to make the cold go away as quickly as possible. Unable to move at all, she went under.
Beneath the frigid water, she was surprised at how peaceful she felt. She turned her head slowly to the left and saw Austen’s image there. He gestured wildly, frantically waving his arms and legs. He screamed at her, or maybe he pleaded; she couldn’t hear a thing he said. He was so gorgeous, she just stared at him with love in her eyes and a small smile on her lips.
Austen begged her to fight, silently screaming at her to swim. But still she did nothing. Katherine watched him fight to lift her, carry her, push her, move her, something! But he was powerless to do anything. Terror was written all over his face and she saw the desperation there, but it seemed irrelevant and she did nothing to ease it. He tried one last time to get her to kick.
Yet she did nothing but watch him. All she could think about was how freezing cold the water was, and how beautiful he looked.
Something crashed into the water next to her, making her body bob up and down, and Cooper’s face suddenly appeared in front of hers. She looked into his eyes, so wide with fear as he leaned into the water, grabbing her jacket and yanking her head above the surface. His body splayed out spread eagle over the ice, distributing his weight as evenly as he could while he reached beneath the surface to grab Katherine. Danny did the same behind him, holding on to Cooper’s feet tightly in case the ice gave way beneath him.
Cooper had to go halfway into the freezing water to reach her and Danny hesitated, obviously scared he might fall in, too. Cooper screamed at Katherine to kick her legs as he tried to pull her out. She could barely think, let alone move.
“Danny, pull!” Cooper yelled at him in a desperate tone he’d never used before, not even on the rink.
Taylor was pacing back and forth on the ice, wildly screaming, “Is she okay? Oh my God. Please be okay, please be okay.” Tears streamed down her cheeks as she covered her mouth with her gloved hand, horror in her eyes. “Please don’t die, Katherine,” she pleaded. “I can’t handle losing someone else.”
Chapter Sixteen
They slowly inched from the break in the ice until Cooper was sure they were safe. He noticed Katherine wasn’t breathing. Cooper was losing his mind with worry but he went into action, performing CPR on her while Taylor screamed in the background. He ignored her, unable hear anything other than the sound of his heart raging in his ears.
Katherine still didn’t breathe, but Cooper refused to give up. He pushed on her chest in desperation. “Please,” he begged her, “don’t leave me. Not now. Please, Katherine. I just got you back.”
Suddenly her eyes shot open and she coughed out the water lodged in her lungs. Cooper tilted her head and held her in his arms. She sputtered and gagged, but didn’t say a word. He ripped off her soaking wet jacket and carried her to his snowmobile. Cooper knew he had to get the rest of her wet clothing off as well, but he didn’t want to waste any more time. He watched as her lips turned blue and her breathing fell shallow.
“She’s breathing, right?” Taylor didn’t wait for a response. “Cooper, is she breathing?” Taylor asked frantically. Danny ran to her, held her in his arms, and reassured her that it would all be okay.
“She’s breathing. She’s just really cold, Taylor. You guys get home and start a fire and gather all the blankets you can find. I’ll meet you there.”
Danny and Taylor hopped on his snowmobile and sped off as Cooper leaned Katherine’s frozen body into his. He shivered as he forced his jacket to zip up around them both. Then he drove as fast as he could while he held her tight. He rode the snowmobile as far up to the house as it would go and then he unzipped the jacket, allowing Katherine’s shivering body to slide out. He scooped her into his arms and sprinted up the stairs.
Cooper looked around at the blazing fire and the pile of comforters. “This is good. Taylor, you have to get all her clothes off. She can’t have on anything wet. It will only make it worse.”
“Then what?” Taylor asked.
“Then we start wrapping her in blankets.”
Taylor did as he instructed and then pulled a clean pair of sweats over Katherine’s bare skin. “Okay. You can turn around.”
Cooper walked quickly toward the only girl he loved. He positioned himself on the floor in front of the fire and pulled Katherine’s body against his. He wrapped himself around her and then piled the blankets onto them both. Cooper gently rocked her back and forth and listened to her breathing.
“Is she going to be okay? Do we need to take her to a hospital?” Taylor asked, her eyes darting between Katherine’s body and Cooper’s face.
“Her pulse is almost back to normal. Her breathing sounds fine and her color is coming back. When she comes to, we can ask her how she feels. We need to keep an eye on her all night.”
“How do you know all of this stuff, Cooper?”
“I grew up on this lake. There are rules that come with that. At least, in my house there were.”
“How are you feeling, Coop?” Danny asked.
“I feel fine. I’ll be fine.” That was a lie, but he figured he simply needed to get warmer too. Katherine was in much worse shape, and his mind spun with worry for her.
He watched as Katherine’s eyes darted back and forth beneath her eyelids, and knew she was dreaming. He assumed she was with Austen. It hurt him more than he had imagined it would to think about. Here he had tried to save her life, and she was most likely out frolicking with her other boyfriend. He gave her a tight squeeze and hoped that if she was in a dream, she’d feel it. He wanted her to know that he was there, in the real world, waiting for her to come back to him.
****
Katherine sat in the sand while Austen paced back and forth in front of her. His expression morphed back and forth with worry, fear, devastation, and heartbreak. “Did you see me in the water?”
“Of course
I saw you. All I could see was you,” she answered calmly.
“Do you know how hard that was for me? I had to sit there and watch you almost die, Katherine,” Austen shouted, his usual calm demeanor all but gone as he paced back and forth with determination.
“It’s not your fault. Why are you so angry?”
“Because I can’t keep you safe!” Austen threw his head into his hands and pulled at his hair.
“Well, I don’t need you to keep me safe!” Katherine fired back. “I never asked you to protect me.”
He grabbed his chest and looked into her eyes, as he ground out, “You could have died today.”
“But I didn’t,” she snapped.
“Katherine! I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. Watching you in that water—knowing that I could do nothing to help you—it almost broke me today. Do you understand that?”
“If I’d died, we’d be together right now,” she said matter-of-factly. “Don’t you want to be with me?”
“Of course I want to be with you.” He knelt down in front of her and took her face in his hands. “But not like that, Katherine. That cost is too great and it’s not your time. I don’t want to be with you if it means you’re dead too.”
“Who made you God?”
“Listen to me.” He sat in the sand and faced her. “Watching you today was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I couldn’t save you. I couldn’t do anything to help you. Cooper could. And he did. You have a whole life in front of you. And Cooper, he’s a really good guy and he loves you.”
“Why do you always make this about Cooper?” she screamed.
“Because it is about him, Katherine. He risked his life to save you.” He paused to look at her face. “You love him too. And that’s okay. I don’t want you to feel bad about loving someone who isn’t me.”
She looked into his blue eyes and lifted a hand to caress his soft skin. “It’s not the same kind of love.”
“I know that,” he told her. “But I need you to know that it’s okay. Loving someone else doesn’t take away from what we have. No one can take this from us. It will always be ours.”
