Chasing Logan

by Tracy Lorraine

  “And what’s wrong with doing that. It’s what you are. Surely it’s better coming from you than it is a scorned ex-boyfriend that is only in it to make a quick buck.”

  He’s silent for a minute, his thoughts clearly running at a mile a minute around his head as he stares at me.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, I’m just angry.” He takes a step towards me. I hate that he looks unsure of himself. “I do want to tell everyone. I want to be with you properly, out in the open. It just scares me,” he admits.

  “I know.”

  His nose brushes mine just before he touches his lips to mine, testing the water. Yeah I’m annoyed, I want him to scream about us from the rooftops but I know I need to give him the time he’s asked for.

  When I don’t respond to him I feel him pull back. My hand comes up and my fingers thread through his hair as I pull his lips back to mine.

  “We’ll do this together,” I whisper when he pulls back and rests his forehead against mine. He nods his agreement but doesn’t say anything.

  It’s been a week since Aiden threatened to go to the press and as of yet nothing has come out. I’ve stayed with Logan in his hotel room every night and every morning the first thing he asks is if there’s anything online. I can see it’s playing on his mind more than he lets on because he’s pulling away from me, being more like the Logan I first met on this tour when he was trying to deal with losing his sister. The only difference now is that he’s not alone in this. I wish he’d realise I’m here with him, that he can lean on me when he needs to and not keep it all bottled up.

  We’re on the final leg of the tour now, doing the shows that got postponed when Annie died. I’m not sure how I feel about it all coming to an end. A couple of weeks ago I couldn’t wait for it to be over and to know that I was going to wake up in the same bed in the same room every morning. But as every show closes now I know I’m closer to the possibility of not seeing Logan everyday and I do not like how that feels. I know he lives relatively close but I’m not stupid enough to think he’s ever really there. Plus Bella and I could well end up on another tour after this one. The future is up in the air at the moment and I hate it.

  Logan and I shower together before he has to head off to do a magazine interview followed by an appearance on a local radio station before the show tonight.

  “Hey, stranger,” Bella says when I make an appearance in our hotel room. I feel awful that I’ve abandoned her to spend time with Logan. When we agreed to come on this tour it was only because we were invited together and I’ve gone and left her.

  “Everything okay, you’ve got a weird look?”

  “Yeah I’m fine.”

  Bella is still claiming that nothing is going on with Pip and that other than a few kisses here and there it hasn’t gone any farther. I’m not convinced.

  “Did Pip stay here last night?” I ask when I walk into the bathroom and smell men’s deodorant.

  “Yes. CJ pulled a couple of groupies and he couldn’t stand another night listening to the activities.”

  “Where did you say I was?”

  “I told him you also pulled but Pip’s not stupid, Cole. I’m pretty sure he knows what’s going on.” I do too but I don’t say anything.

  “Are you sure everything’s okay, you look a little on edge.”

  “Yes, Cole, everything’s fine.”

  The more defensive she gets the more I know something’s up. She announces that she’s going to the hairdressers in the hotel soon after and disappears. She’s definitely up to something.

  I spend the day chilling out in front of the TV and I might just find the local radio station on my phone so I can listen to Logan’s voice. Fuck, I’m sad!

  When the DJ starts asking him about Bella’s friendliness with the band he brilliantly diverts the subject. I never knew he was such a smooth talker. I guess the DJ being a woman who is hanging off his every word helps. I love listening to him talking about his songs and performing, it’s clear from his voice alone how much he loves it. It doesn’t surprise me that he chose his music over Aiden. A part of me also understands how Aiden must feel though. If he felt even half of what I do for Logan then he must have been gutted at Logan’s decision. That doesn’t mean I understand why he’s now blackmailing him though. He’s either taken the break up a lot worse than Logan thought he had or there is something else going on.

  I don’t see Bella again until ten minutes before we have to leave for the arena.

  “I didn’t think you were coming back,” I say when she opens the door and walks in. “You look good.”

  “Thanks,” she mutters as she starts gathering her stuff for the show.

  Bella hasn’t only had her red hair topped up but she seems to have had her eyebrows shaped, something she hates having done, and her nails match her hair colour.

  “Hang on…” I say looking her up and down. “Are you joining the orange brigade?”

  “Fuck off, Cole. I was just feeling a bit…pale.”

  She gives me a look and I know I need to back off. She’s not in the mood for my piss taking apparently.

  As the night goes on Bella starts acting stranger and stranger. It’s kinda like she’s excited about something but other than a few drinks after the show tonight I don’t think anything else is going on.

  When we come off stage and leave Logan to his last song of the night alone she is practically vibrating with nervous energy.

  “Seriously, B, what the fuck is up? You’re all over the place.”

  “Nothing.” I raise an eyebrow at her but she shrugs and walks off towards our dressing room.

  Our minibus follows Logan and the guy’s cars back. Once we’re all inside the hotel I follow them towards the bar. I can hear Logan trying to make his excuses but Pip and CJ are having none of it tonight. Both of us have been pretty unsocial, preferring to make our excuses and head up to his hotel room to be alone so I guess we owe them a few drinks.

  “Where’s Bella gone?” Pip asks as he puts a couple of pints down on the table.

  “She was tired,” I say giving the same excuse as she gave me ten minutes ago. I didn’t believe it for a second but it was becoming clear she wasn’t going to confess what was really going on so I left it. It’s only tonight that I’ve realised how much I’ve abandoned her. This tour was something for us to experience together but since getting to know Logan I’m ashamed to say I’ve put him first quite often.

  I was surprised to see Pip head into the bar with us; I thought maybe Bella’s weird behaviour was because she was hooking up with him tonight. Clearly I was wrong there.

  The plastics appear in the bar ten minutes later, they all take one look at me sat with the band, roll their eyes and walk over to the other side of the bar. Jealously is the devil!

  “Another round?” Pip asks although he is up and gone before any of us answer. I watch him walk off then glance at the others involved in this tour enjoying themselves. It’s hard to imagine that this won’t be our daily life in a week or so. Living in hotels has almost become normal.

  My eyes land back on Pip as I scan the room again and I immediately stop and watch. He throws his head back in laughter before lifting his hand and resting it on the arm of the guy stood next to him at the bar. Then instead of removing his hand as quickly as he put it there he lets it run down the guys arm.

  Whoa! Have I seriously missed something here? My gaydar has always been spot on, has Logan messed with my ability to seek out the gay guys?

  I lean over towards Logan and whisper, “Is Pip gay,” before nodding my head in his direction.

  “Sure looks that way,” he says with a smile. “Could I not be the only one keeping secrets,” he says quietly so only I can hear.

  I guess that explains why nothing has happened between him and Bella then, although it doesn’t explain the looks he gives her. There are times that he looks at her like he wants to eat her alive. Interesting!

  “I’m going to go and get some st
uff from my room then I’ll meet you in yours?” I whisper to Logan before saying goodnight to the guys and heading off after a few more drinks.

  I expect our room to be in darkness when I open the door so I’m pretty surprised when I find the light on. I’m even more surprised when I step inside the room to see that Bella isn’t alone.

  “Fuck.”

  Bella is laid on her bed as I was expecting but her being topless with an equally half naked Drew on top of her was not what I thought I’d see. Bella grabs a pillow to cover herself up with while Drew jumps up off the bed looking a little star struck. They clearly weren’t expecting me to appear. If she had just bloody told me then I wouldn’t have intruded.

  “Sorry, I just need to grab a couple of things and I’ll be out of your way. Thanks for the heads up,” I say sarcastically to Bella.

  “Sorry, it was a last minute thing. Aiden managed to get tickets and when he invited me, I couldn’t refuse.”

  “Wait, Aiden’s here?”

  “Yeah, not sure where he is though.”

  I immediately turn around and start to run down the corridor. I hear Bella shout my name but I need to get to Logan.

  Eighteen

  I can see Logan’s hotel room door is open as I get closer. I half expect to hear shouting but it’s eerily quiet as I approach. I slow my pace as I get to his door and prepare myself for what might be going on. When I step inside my eyes immediately land on both Logan and Aiden. My heart rate picks up instantly and my hands clench into fists. Neither of them see me thankfully so I’m able to step back into the shadows and watch.

  Logan is dressed in only a small pair of boxer briefs with his back against the wall. Aiden’s body is mere millimetres from Logan’s and he has his forearms resting on the wall caging Logan in.

  As desperate as I am to march over there and pull Aiden off of him I also want to see how this is going to play out. The tiny bit of doubt I have lingering that Logan still feels something for Aiden keeps me where I am, out of sight.

  “I know you still want me, I can see it in your eyes,” Aiden says staring straight into Logan’s eyes.

  Logan doesn’t respond but I see his jaw move as he grinds his teeth and I feel a little relief.

  “Come on, Lo. You remember how good it was, how good we were? I know you want that again. You just weren’t ready before but I’ve been watching you and I know you’re ready to come out. I can sense it in you. We can have what we always wanted, to be together. Just say the word, Logan and I’m yours.”

  What the fuck? Is this really the same guy that’s trying to blackmail Logan? What’s with the I want you back speech?

  When Aiden’s face moves closer to Logan I can’t keep myself hidden any longer.

  “What the fuck is your problem?” I shout as I step up in front of them. “Not content on just blackmailing him?”

  Both Logan’s and Aiden’s eyes widen as they turn to look at me. Logan snaps out of whatever trance he was in when his hands come up to Aiden’s shoulders. He pushes harshly so he steps back.

  “Oh look, you’ve got a little bitch to stand up for you, how sweet.”

  “Fuck you,” I say stepping up into his face. I’m not against putting that right hook Logan taught me all those weeks ago into action.

  “Cole, leave it,” Logan says grabbing my arm and pulling me back towards him.

  “Aw, don’t you two make a lovely couple. I’ll make sure I tell the journalist that you’re now shagging your dancer when I speak to them.”

  It’s now Logan’s turn to lunge for him. Fair play to Aiden because he doesn’t even flinch. I’m not sure I could stand still and take it if Logan was coming at me, he’s not exactly small.

  “What do you want, Aiden?” Logan grates out clearly trying to rein his anger in.

  “Whatever I can get.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “It means that while you’ve been here living it up with your little friend,” Aiden spits looking me up and down, “that life carries on. We’re not all in the little Chase bubble where everything is sweet and rosy.”

  “I’m well aware of that.”

  “Of course, Annie dies and you think you know it all. Well you don’t, you don’t know the half of it.”

  “Okaaay…so back to my original question. What do you want? Or more so what the fuck do I have to do to get rid of you?”

  Aiden eyes flash with something as Logan says that. Hurt, sorrow, despair, I’m not sure but for a fleeting second I see a glimpse of the real Aiden. I’m not stupid enough to think this person is front of me is the real Aiden. Logan wouldn’t have been friends with him for years if he was really like this. I was suspicious before but now I’m even surer that something is going on with him.

  Logan must see it as well because his attitude towards him softens slightly. “So…”

  Aiden stares at Logan for a beat before turning and marching out of the hotel room without saying a word, leaving us both gobsmacked.

  “What the hell was that?” I ask but I don’t really expect a response.

  Logan falling catches my eye and when I look around he is sat on the sofa with his head leant right back and his eyes shut.

  I sit down next to him and place my hand on his thigh. He doesn’t do anything for the longest time. I know he’s aware of me though because his boxers get too tight pretty quickly.

  “What the hell was he doing here?” Logan asks me, as if I would know.

  “No idea, but he came with Drew. Drew was with Bella. She’d been acting weird all day so she obviously knew they were coming.

  “Oh great. So now what? Is he still going to sell my story, has he gone?”

  I wish I had the answer, be able to put his mind at ease but I can’t. I say the only thing that comes into my head. “I don’t know but I think you should come out before he does it for you. Everyone will have much more respect for you that way. Plus it will show him that you can’t be pushed around.”

  “I know I said I’d do this but I was kinda hoping I’d be able to do it in my own time. But instead here I am being forced to do it.”

  “It’ll be alright,” I say. I have no idea if that is true or not but it’s all I’ve got. “I don’t know about you but I need a shower and I don’t intend of going alone.” I stand up and reach my hand out to him. Logan instantly places his hand in mine and together we walk to the bathroom. I just hope this is how things are going to continue.

  “I’m here for you whatever happens, Logan, just remember that. You don’t need to deal with any of this alone.”

  I quickly strip my clothes off while Logan gets the shower going. He’s stood with water pouring all over his skin by the time I’m ready to join him. The sight has me frozen to the spot. Fuck this man is hot.

  After a few seconds of appreciating the view I join him. Logan instantly reaches out and pulls me flush against his chest.

  “That was hot, you know?” Logan says as he begins to run his hands around my body.

  “What was?”

  “You standing up for me, fighting for me,” he says but his expression makes me think he didn’t expect me to.

  “Always, Logan. Like I said, you’re not alone in this anymore. We’ll face these things head on and together.” I don’t get to say anymore because Logan crashes his lips to mine. I can only presume his actions are showing me that he agrees with what I just said.

  After our shower we had lazy, slow sex before falling asleep together in Logan’s huge hotel room bed. It definitely pays to be the star of the show. The small twin rooms Bella and I have been sharing are a world away from this luxury.

  Loud banging has my heart racing and me sitting bolt upright.

  “What the fuck?” Logan asks in his husky, sleepy voice.

  I just swing my legs over the side of the bed as the banging starts again followed by a muffled female shout.

  “Fuck, he’s done it, hasn’t he?” Logan asks before getting himself out of bed and
pulling on some underwear before leaving the room.

  I hear a short and sharp conversation going on in the living room before there is another knock on the door.

  “You need to come out,” Logan says to me when he pokes his head around the door. I can see from his face that something is seriously off, plus the fact he’s asking me to appear from his bedroom when others are in the living area.

  The first person I see is Bella, and she looks mortified.

  “What’s going on, has someone died?” I ask jumping to conclusions.

  “I think you should come and sit down,” another female voice says and when I look up I see a very dishevelled Victoria looking back at me with soft sympathetic eyes. That is definitely a new look for her. I’d put money on the fact she’d hooked up with someone last night. Her hair is like a birds nest at the back of her head, her cheeks are flushed and her lips swollen. She doesn’t even bat an eyelid that I’m walking out of Logan’s bedroom at God knows what o’clock in the morning. “Cole,” she prompts reminding me that she said something.

  “No, I’m good. Just tell me.”

  Bella cuddles into my side and wraps her arm around my waist in support and my stomach drops. What the hell is about to happen? Surely it’s not that my relationship with Logan has been outed, this seems way more serious.

  “There’s some stuff about both of you in the papers this morning,” Victoria states.

  “Right,” I say presuming it’s about our relationship.

  “I don’t think it’s what you’re thinking, Cole.”

  “Your dad’s sold a story about you,” Bella says interrupting Victoria.

  “My dad knows nothing about me, what could he possibly sell other then I had the shittiest childhood because of him and my mum and I left home at the first possible opportunity?”

  “That’s not quite how he’s telling it.”

  Victoria hands me her tablet with the story open.

  HOW CHASE’S DANCER ATTACKED HIS DAD AND LEFT HIM FOR DEAD.

  “WHAT!” I shout as I stare at the picture of my dad’s black eye that is staring back at me.