A Royal Baby on the Way

by Susan Mallery

  She was about to deny the presence of any significant man when she realized she desperately wanted to talk about Mitch to someone who would understand. ‘‘It’s not what you think,’’ she began slowly.

  ‘‘I don’t know what to think,’’ her mother admitted. ‘‘If you’re attracted to someone, I must confess to being relieved. I was never happy about your decision not to get emotionally involved with someone inappropriate.’’

  ‘‘You wanted me to fall in love with someone I shouldn’t?’’ Alex asked, stunned.

  ‘‘Not at all. My complaint was with your determination to keep your heart so completely closed off until a political match could be made. You are impossibly practical, Alexandra. Just once I would like you to be impulsive, to act with your heart, rather than your head.’’

  ‘‘Serena does that enough for all of us,’’ Alex said.

  ‘‘Perhaps, and at times she’s found her way into trouble, but I would guess her happiness is guaranteed. She will always do what is right for her, rather than what is correct for the kingdom.’’

  ‘‘That’s irresponsible.’’

  ‘‘Perhaps, but who will have the better life?’’ Her mother paused. ‘‘I want you to be happy, too, my dear. Life is more than duty. So if you’ve finally noticed an inappropriate but handsome, charming man, I’m pleased. Tell me about him.’’

  Alex was still dealing with all that her mother had said. ‘‘I have duties.’’

  ‘‘Yes, I know. But sometimes it’s important to remember the duties to one’s self. Personal happiness is allowed. Everything doesn’t have to be for the greater good. Now, what about this mystery man?’’

  Alex leaned back in her chair and smiled. ‘‘His name is Mitch. He is handsome and charming, but those are the least of his qualities. He’s strong and sure of himself, yet very gentle. He keeps forgetting that I’m a princess, Mother. He treats me like a normal woman.’’

  ‘‘Ah, that would be hard to resist.’’

  ‘‘It is. And he’s honest and stubborn and can be difficult.’’

  ‘‘But you like that about him.’’

  Alex laughed. ‘‘I do,’’ she admitted. ‘‘I like that he doesn’t back down from me. I don’t frighten him with either my title or my strength of character. But…’’ Her voice trailed off. She drew in a breath. ‘‘But he’s tied to the land. He’s a rancher and all he wants is here.’’

  ‘‘What do you want?’’

  ‘‘I don’t know. I want to be happy. I want to fulfill my responsibilities. I want to do the right thing.’’ She squeezed her eyes shut. ‘‘What if I become queen? Mitch would never be comfortable in the role of consort. He would never want to leave his ranch, and even if he did, even if he was willing to try, it would destroy him. All that I admire about him would be crushed. Then where would we be?’’

  ‘‘It’s quite a problem. What does Mitch say about it?’’

  ‘‘You mean have I talked to him about this?’’

  ‘‘Yes.’’

  ‘‘Of course not. I wouldn’t discuss this with him.’’

  ‘‘So you’ve met a man whom you admire greatly. You’re in fact falling in love with him, but you refuse to discuss the future with him.’’

  Alex opened her mouth, then closed it. ‘‘I don’t love him.’’

  ‘‘Of course you don’t. It would never work. How smart you are to figure this out early. I assume you’ll be leaving today?’’

  ‘‘Leaving?’’

  ‘‘Yes. Why waste your time being around a man like him? If he won’t compromise and give up his world for you, why bother with him?’’

  ‘‘It’s not like that. I’m not saying that he wouldn’t give up everything, I’m saying I don’t want him to.’’

  ‘‘But you don’t love him.’’

  ‘‘No.’’ She couldn’t. Love Mitch? It wasn’t possible. Things could never work out between them. They were too different. Love. She thought about how he’d held her the previous night, and the way he’d laughed with her in the diner. She thought about his strong, gentle hands and the way he made her feel as if she belonged in his arms. Was that love?

  ‘‘No,’’ she said firmly. ‘‘We’re friends. Nothing more.’’

  ‘‘Alexandra, you are a most stubborn woman. I suppose I should be grateful you’ve learned there’s more to life than simply doing your duty. So take your newfound knowledge and start enjoying yourself. Stop faxing the palace four and five times a day. Stop calling. We’re fine here. We have a staff that functions surprisingly well despite your absence. Why don’t you take a trip to Disneyland or go see a play in New York? Or better yet, have a wild, passionate affair with your young man.’’

  ‘‘Mother!’’

  The queen laughed. ‘‘Don’t for a moment think that your generation invented sex. It’s actually been around for quite some time.’’

  ‘‘I know that. I just can’t believe you would encourage reckless behavior in one of your daughters.’’

  ‘‘I wouldn’t, Alexandra. I trust you to temper a little bit of wildness with good sense. If you trust this Mitch, then I believe he is trustworthy. So have fun for once. Worry about the rest of it when you’re back in Wynborough.’’ She paused, then spoke to someone at the other end of the phone. ‘‘I must go. I love you.’’

  ‘‘I love you, too.’’

  Alex hung up the phone and stared at the receiver. Her mother wanted her to have an affair? Or at the very least, enjoy herself with Mitch. Was that possible? Was it even allowed?

  *

  Alex petted the smooth, soft nose of the skittish bay mare. ‘‘There’s a pretty girl. Aren’t you lovely? Don’t you like your new home?’’

  Alex hadn’t tried riding the new mare yet, but she was making progress. Princess—Alex still smiled every time she thought of the bay’s name—trusted her enough to take bits of apple or carrot from her hand. The horse even let her stroke her nose and rub her ears. But Alex sensed that there would be trouble if the animal was ridden too early.

  ‘‘I had the most interesting conversation with my mother this morning,’’ Alex said as she collected brushes and combs and stepped inside the stall to groom the mare. ‘‘Parents can be very unusual. Just when I think I have my mother completely figured out, she does something to shock me. Are you like that with your babies?’’

  The mare’s only response was to toss her head.

  ‘‘I thought so.’’ Alex brushed the mare’s coat with long, slow, steady strokes. She was trying to get the animal used to her presence, her voice and her touch. ‘‘When we’re done in here, I’m going to take you out and exercise you on a lead.’’

  She reached up and brushed Princess’s neck. ‘‘She told me it’s time for me to put aside my responsibilities and have a little fun. The thing is, I’m not sure I remember how. I’ve been so responsible for so long. What if that’s all I know?’’

  Princess looked at her as if urging her to continue with her story.

  ‘‘I’m the oldest of four daughters,’’ Alex said. ‘‘I was always expected to be the most mature, to do the right thing and set an example for my sisters. Even when I wanted to play with them, or with my friends, I often had duties and responsibilities. It wasn’t that easy for me to be like other children. If my sisters didn’t want to go to a function, they often were allowed to refuse. But I had to be there. As I grew older, there were more functions and more responsibilities. Not that I minded. I always felt it was my place to serve.’’

  She walked around the front of the horse and began brushing the other side. ‘‘Somehow I’ve come to believe I have to earn my place in the world. I know that probably sounds silly, but it’s true. Even with all the family wealth and privilege, I worry about not being enough, or doing enough. It was as if I’d been given so much that I had to prove I was worthy of keeping it. So many times I’ve admired my sisters and wished I could be more like them. Katherine is so calm and relaxed. Nothing ruffles
her. She never has any self-doubts. Elizabeth has a zest for life that inspires me, even as I envy her. And Serena, well, she can be a force of nature. She is impulsive and while she frustrates me, in my heart I wish I could be more like her.’’

  She pressed her hands against the mare’s side. ‘‘I’ve always been so dependable and boring. I’ve never dared to do what I wanted with my life.’’

  ‘‘What do you want?’’

  She jumped at the sound of the male voice, then spun on her heel. Mitch leaned against the half door of the stall. He rested his elbows on the flat top and turned his hat in his outstretched hands.

  ‘‘What do you want, Alex?’’

  His gaze was steady and direct. She supposed she should be embarrassed. After all, this was the first time they’d run into each other since parting the previous night. But she wasn’t nervous or ashamed or anything but pleased to see him.

  ‘‘I don’t know,’’ she admitted. ‘‘I’m torn between duty and fun.’’

  ‘‘Is this fun?’’ he asked, motioning to the ranch.

  ‘‘Yes, as are you.’’

  ‘‘Good. So why can’t you have both?’’

  ‘‘It’s not always that easy.’’ She stroked the mare’s neck. ‘‘I spoke with my mother this morning. To quote American television, she told me to get a life.’’

  ‘‘Sounds like good advice.’’

  She wondered what he would say if she told him that her mother had also told her to have an affair with him.

  ‘‘I suppose it is. But I don’t know that I can have a life without duty.’’

  ‘‘You can. You’re just not sure you know how.’’

  ‘‘You’re right.’’ She squeezed the brush in her hand. ‘‘I think about James, about us finding him. What I don’t allow myself to think about very much is what will happen if we don’t find him. What will my future be?’’

  ‘‘Only you can answer that.’’ Mitch’s brown eyes darkened with compassion and something that might have been concern. ‘‘Although if you became queen, it would certainly change things.’’

  Was he talking about her…or them?

  ‘‘How long are you going to wait to have your future decided by outside forces?’’ he asked. ‘‘When do you get a vote?’’

  ‘‘I’m not sure that I do.’’

  ‘‘But it’s your life.’’

  She nodded. ‘‘This is where I start to get confused. At what point does my personal responsibility to myself end and my duty to my country begin?’’

  ‘‘Can’t you have both? Personal happiness and duty?’’

  ‘‘Perhaps.’’

  But not with him, she thought, studying his handsome face. He would never be happy away from the ranch, and knowing that, she would never ask him to leave.

  Her train of thought should have terrified her. It implied a deep affection that she wasn’t sure she felt. At least, she didn’t think she was sure. If she’d never really been involved with a man before, how was she supposed to know what was real and what wasn’t?

  Mitch turned his hat around in his hands. ‘‘Are you okay?’’

  ‘‘I’m fine.’’

  He smiled. ‘‘No, Alex. I’m asking if you’re all right about last night.’’

  ‘‘Oh.’’ Heat instantly flared in her cheeks. She swallowed and forced herself to meet his gaze, even though all she wanted to do was bury her face in the mare’s sleek neck. ‘‘Yes, I, uh, am perfectly fine with all that happened.’’

  ‘‘Good.’’

  His gaze slid away from hers, and she realized he was nervous, too. That made her feel a little better.

  ‘‘You know, I’ve done that sort of thing before,’’ he said. ‘‘Sex, I mean.’’

  ‘‘So I assumed.’’

  ‘‘Yeah, well, the point is, I know the difference between sex and something more.’’

  What could be more? she wondered. ‘‘You’re talking about the act versus…’’

  ‘‘Feelings. Connection.’’ He cleared his throat. The hat in his hands spun faster. ‘‘I don’t have all the answers.’’

  She hadn’t realized there had been questions. Alex didn’t know whether to laugh or sit down and cry her eyes out. For as long as she lived, she knew she would remember this moment: the scent of the straw and horses; Mitch’s nervous fingers betraying his tension; the way his dark hair fell over his forehead; and her own desire to go to him and be held.

  ‘‘I doubt anyone has all the answers,’’ she said.

  ‘‘Agreed.’’ He looked at her. ‘‘I don’t know what it was, but I know it was more. Which makes the whole thing scary, but in a good way.’’ He stopped spinning his hat. ‘‘I want you, but becoming lovers is going to complicate things a whole lot more than either of us realizes. Or maybe you know because you’ve done this sort of thing before.’’

  He wanted her? In his bed? The thought was thrilling. Impossible, but thrilling.

  Alex wondered if she should take this opportunity to clear up his misconception about her experience level. Then she decided that if Mitch knew she was a virgin, he would take off running for the very picturesque mountains behind the ranch, and she would never see him again.

  ‘‘It would change things,’’ she agreed.

  ‘‘That’s what I thought. So I figured the best thing would be for us to just back off. For a while at least. Until we figure out what we want.’’

  Was he talking about life in general or them in particular? What did he want? What was he saying? That they might have a chance at a regular relationship? Did he care about her? She knew that he liked her, but was he talking about being more than friends?

  Too many questions and absolutely no answers.

  ‘‘I’ll see you at dinner,’’ Mitch said, and turned to leave.

  Princess Alexandra, who had been told she was imperious and bossy, couldn’t find the courage to stop him so she could ask him what he meant.

  ‘‘So much for the power of royalty,’’ she murmured to the mare when they were alone. ‘‘Apparently in the whole man-woman game, having a tiara doesn’t matter for spit.’’

  Chapter Twelve

  ‘‘I’m going to be cleaning pie dough off the ceiling for weeks,’’ Betty complained good-naturedly.

  Alex looked at the flour covering the countertop around her, not to mention the light dusting that climbed nearly to her elbows as she rolled out her piecrust. She grinned. ‘‘I warned you that I’d never made a pie before. My cooking classes never covered them.’’ She paused, trying to remember all her instructors had discussed. ‘‘I’m great at tortes and cakes and can make you a dozen perfect roses in marzipan, but pies are a mystery. Especially pumpkin.’’

  Betty arched her eyebrows and looked suitably shocked. ‘‘It’s a tradition.’’

  ‘‘I know. But I must remind you that I’ve never really celebrated Thanksgiving. It’s strictly an American holiday.’’

  ‘‘I hadn’t thought of that,’’ Betty admitted. She stood at the stove, stirring a sugar-and-evaporated-milk mixture that was the basis of what Mitch had promised was killer fudge. ‘‘So you’ve never had a real Thanksgiving dinner?’’

  ‘‘I vaguely remember my mother insisting on turkey dinner a few times when I was growing up, but somehow the celebration got lost.’’ Alex shrugged. ‘‘There are so many events going on at any one time. The palace sponsors many of the arts. Then there are the visiting dignitaries, not to mention our own national holidays.’’

  Betty pulled the heavy pot off the burner and poured in a bowl of chocolate chips. ‘‘When you’re all gussied up in one of your suits, talking on the phone or getting something messengered to you, it’s easy to think of you as a princess. But now, you’re just like a regular person.’’

  Alex carefully folded the crust in quarters, then lifted it to the pie pan and unfolded it. She glanced at Betty. ‘‘That must mean I have pie dough in my hair.’’

  ‘‘Nope, but you have
flour on your face.’’

  Alex started to wipe it away, then realized her hands were too dirty to be of any help. ‘‘If someone sneaks up and takes a photo, I’ll simply claim to be setting a new style.’’

  ‘‘You do that,’’ Betty said. ‘‘I’m sure they’ll believe you.’’

  Alex chuckled as she crimped the edge of the piecrust in place. When she’d finished, Betty nodded to the remaining dough. ‘‘Now do it all again. You’re making three pies all together.’’

  ‘‘But what if they’re terrible?’’

  ‘‘We’re using my secret recipe, so they’re going to be terrific. Don’t you worry about how they’ll taste.’’

  ‘‘I hope you’re right,’’ Alex said doubtfully.

  ‘‘Trust me. We’ll be turning you into a pastry chef in no time.’’ Betty stirred a cup of nuts into the rapidly thickening fudge. ‘‘So how’s the search for your long-lost brother coming?’’

  ‘‘I’m not sure,’’ Alex admitted. ‘‘I’ve been back to The Sunshine Home twice, and every time I’m there, the task of going through the records gets more and more daunting. Mitch helped me sort the boxes by year and subject, but then when I started searching through them I realized that what the label said and what was in the boxes were two very different things. Apparently people have searched for records before, but they didn’t file things back where they belonged. I think I’m going to have to talk to my sisters and have one or two of them come here and help me.’’

  ‘‘Sounds like a plan,’’ Betty said. She glanced over and studied the way Alex rolled out the dough. ‘‘Just exactly like you’re doing. Smooth and even.’’

  Alex flashed her a grateful smile. ‘‘You’re being very patient.’’

  ‘‘I’m enjoying your company.’’

  ‘‘I’m having fun, too,’’ she said. If truth were told, she liked almost everything about her stay. Most especially Mitch. He was an unexpectedly wonderful bonus. If she was honest with herself, she didn’t mind the time she’d had to spend here, nor did she mind that her sisters were too busy with public appearances to join her anytime soon. She wasn’t sure she wanted either Elizabeth or Serena getting a look at her handsome cowboy host.