Mitch angled toward her, then leaned forward and patted her leg. ‘‘I survived. It was different than I’d imagined,’’ he admitted. ‘‘I guess I didn’t let myself think about it too much. It’s not the sort of situation anyone would walk into willingly. You did warn me that I would be ignored for the first part of the evening, then surrounded for the second. You were right.’’
Alex bit back a sigh. She’d been afraid that once the press figured out her escort was a tall, good-looking rancher no one had heard of, the speculation would begin. While their trip from the car to the hotel had been relatively uneventful, their short walk back, at the end of the evening, had been a nightmare of paparazzi and yelled questions.
‘‘Telling me you survived doesn’t exactly answer my question,’’ she said.
‘‘What do you want to know, princess?’’ he asked. ‘‘Did I like it? No. Is that how I want to live my life? Not for any amount of money. Could I deal with it infrequently? Probably. I’ve lived through worse with the stomach flu.’’
Despite her concerns, Alex had to laugh. ‘‘I’m sure the organizers of the fundraiser will be thrilled to know that you compare their event to a case of severe stomach upset.’’
‘‘You know what I mean.’’
‘‘Actually, I do. It’s easy for me to talk about the visibility of my situation and all that I’m expected to do for my country, but it’s quite another to live it firsthand.’’ She leaned her head against the sofa. ‘‘In an odd way, I share your feelings. I’ve been at the ranch for several weeks now, and I’ve grown used to the quiet and privacy. While I had a good time talking with everyone, I did find myself looking forward to returning to Arizona.’’
‘‘I’m glad,’’ Mitch said, and took her hand in his.
She studied their clasped fingers. A week ago the thought of him doing this would have made her hyperventilate. But since Wednesday they’d been lovers. She smiled as she thought of the word. Lovers. She had a man in her life. And not just any man, but someone wonderful. Someone she trusted.
Tonight, at the table, she’d been proud to be with Mitch. Whether speaking to a senator or the table server, he’d been polite, at ease and charming. She’d caught several women eyeing him, wondering who he was and if he was available. She’d found herself wishing it could all be real.
‘‘You’re looking serious about something,’’ he said. ‘‘A kiss for your thoughts.’’
‘‘I thought the saying was a penny.’’
‘‘It is, but I figured I’d get more action with a kiss.’’
She met his dark gaze and found herself very willing to get lost there. ‘‘You would be right.’’ She squeezed his hand. ‘‘I was thinking about tonight, and about my time on the ranch. When my sisters and I decided to come to your country, I thought that when we’d discovered the truth about our brother and returned home I would be glad to go. I never thought I could be happy anywhere else.’’
‘‘Are you happy at the ranch?’’
‘‘Very. My few weeks of being normal have reminded me that I’m more than a princess. I’m also a woman. Between my duties and my responsibilities, I seemed to have forgotten that. My stay here has shown me I need to make time for normalcy. I suspect other women have had to deal with this, as well.’’
‘‘With being a princess? I don’t think so, darlin’. That would be your specialty.’’
‘‘Oh, it’s not exactly the same, but I was thinking about the question of working outside the home, or staying home to raise children. The traditional role versus what one actually wants and what one feels is right. There are also economic factors. My questions are different. How do I balance what is right for me and what is right for the country?’’
‘‘I have to admit, Alex, I can’t see you staying home and changing diapers for some guy working swing shift at a factory.’’
His voice was teasing. She tucked her left foot under her and nodded. ‘‘I would guess you’re right. I would hate my husband working swing shift. He could never accompany me to any social events.’’ Her humor faded. ‘‘I know that I would have to do more than just stay home. If I wasn’t living in Wynborough and handling my responsibilities there, I would need to be involved on a local level.’’
‘‘Politics?’’
‘‘Never. I was thinking more of charity work. I was raised to believe I must give back. My sisters and I have been very blessed. We’ve been taught that blessings come with responsibilities.’’
‘‘I thought princesses only married princes. Isn’t there one in waiting?’’
There wasn’t and she was grateful. She couldn’t imagine any man in her life but Mitch. ‘‘As you may have noticed, princes are in short supply. These days we’re expected to marry well, but not into royalty. I would prefer a prince of a man. A good man whom I could respect. Someone…special.’’
She found herself unable to meet his gaze. She wanted to know what he was thinking, but she didn’t dare ask. The conversation was incredibly general, skirting around important personal issues. Did she want to press for more? Did she have the courage? After all, it wasn’t as if she had any answers. She knew that she cared about Mitch very much. She would miss him when she was gone, perhaps more than she realized.
‘‘You deserve someone special,’’ he told her. ‘‘And if the guy ever treats you badly, you tell me and I’ll go beat him up.’’
She knew he meant his comment to be funny, but Alex found herself suddenly fighting tears. ‘‘You are so good to me,’’ she murmured, and leaned against him. Mitch pulled her close, wrapping her in his strong arms.
Home, she thought as she closed her eyes. Here she was home.
Mitch knew he was in trouble. He’d known it the moment Alex had driven her fancy-pants car onto his ranch and he’d ignored the feeling. Unfortunately it had only grown over time. Now he was in too deep and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. All he could do was hold her tight and not think about how lonely it was going to be when she was gone.
He wanted to believe what she’d said—that she wasn’t looking for a prince, but instead wanted a prince of a man. Mitch knew he had some good qualities and some bad ones. Measured against most of the world, he thought he might come out okay. Except Alex wouldn’t measure him against the rest of the world. As much as he wanted to forget the truth, he couldn’t. She was a princess. Her father was a king. The man ran a country. Was he, Mitch, going to marry into royalty? Yeah, right. Even if Alex didn’t end up inheriting the throne, which he really couldn’t think about, who wanted a king as a father-in-law? What would he say when they had her folks over for dinner? What would he buy everyone for Christmas? Speaking of which, he said, ‘‘It’s only a few weeks until Christmas. What are your plans?’’
Alex looked at him. ‘‘I don’t know. I really want to stay in the area until John returns, but I’m already intruding. Would you like me to stay at a hotel?’’
‘‘No. I want you to stay with me, for as long as you’d like.’’
Her blue eyes darkened. She kissed him. ‘‘Thank you. That’s what I want, too. To stay with you.’’
Forever, he thought, and then he knew. This had gone beyond caring, beyond friendship and affection. Somehow, without meaning to, even knowing it to be the most stupid thing he’d ever done, he’d fallen in love with Princess Alexandra of Wynborough.
He drew her onto his lap and held her close, rocking her gently. ‘‘I want you, Alex,’’ he murmured.
‘‘I want you, too.’’
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. While he responded, he knew that wasn’t what he’d meant when he told her he wanted her. Of course he was desperate to make love with her again and again, for as long as they had together, but what he wanted was her…forever. He wanted her in his life. He wanted to wake up next to her every morning. He wanted to marry her and watch her grow round with their babies. He even wanted to figure out how to blend their two very
different lives.
He wanted not to think about how empty his life was going to be when she was gone. Because he knew he couldn’t ask her to stay. What could he possibly offer her that she couldn’t get better somewhere else? What right did he have to so change her life?
So he didn’t say anything. Instead he let his body speak his longing, his love and his pain. He took her into the bedroom and closed the door. Then he made love to her as if they might never have another night together.
*
Alex had barely taken her seat at her desk Monday morning when the phone rang. ‘‘Hello?’’ she answered.
‘‘So, tell me all about Mitch Colton,’’ her mother instructed. ‘‘He’s very handsome and you look good together. Is he a skilled dancer?’’
Alex didn’t know whether to laugh or scream. It had been less than forty-eight hours since the fundraiser. ‘‘When did you get the pictures?’’
‘‘This morning. They were delivered with my coffee. I must tell you, seeing my oldest daughter so very happy was a lovely way to start my day. My only complaint is that you didn’t phone to tell me you were in love. That’s not the sort of thing I want to find out from a third party.’’
Alex swallowed hard. ‘‘I’m not in love.’’
‘‘Oh, Alexandra, save those lines for the press. It’s as plain as day in these pictures. My goodness, the way he’s holding you and you’re looking at each other. It quite reminds me of my courtship with your father. It’s very romantic. Now tell me everything.’’
‘‘There’s nothing to tell. We’re good friends. I’m staying on his ranch. He’s kind to me.’’
‘‘Kind? I do not want to hear that this handsome cowboy is just kind. I refuse to believe he hasn’t tried to seduce you. And if you tell me you’ve resisted too strongly, I’m going to be most disappointed.’’
‘‘Mother!’’
Her mother sighed. ‘‘Alexandra, don’t be too good all the time. Life is short.’’
‘‘I know. We’re, um, well, we have become close.’’
‘‘Are we talking about confidences over a stamp collection or are you using a euphemism for sex?’’
Alex writhed in her chair. ‘‘I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with my mother.’’
‘‘And I can’t believe you’re such a prude.’’
‘‘I’m not a prude. Yes, we’re lovers. There, are you happy?’’
‘‘That’s the wrong question. The right question is, Are you happy?’’
Alex closed her eyes. She thought about yesterday, which she and Mitch had spent on the beach at Malibu. Los Angeles had been experiencing one of its Indian summer days, with temperatures near eighty. They’d walked in the sand, laughed, then gone back to their room and made love again.
‘‘Yes, Mother, I’m very happy. Mitch is a special man. He’s everything you would want him to be, but most important, he sees me for myself. When I’m with him, I feel at ease and very safe.’’
Her mother sighed. ‘‘I understand completely. I wish you both all the best.’’
Alex didn’t like the sound of that. ‘‘It’s not what you’re thinking, though. I don’t love him.’’
‘‘Really? Why not?’’
Alex opened her mouth, but couldn’t think of a single thing to say. They were talking about Mitch. It could never work between them. ‘‘I have my duty,’’ she managed at last.
‘‘It does always come down to that, doesn’t it,’’ her mother said. ‘‘Your father and I wanted you and your sisters to find your own way. That’s why we never arranged matches for the four of you. True love is a rare and special thing. However, if after all this time you haven’t found it, perhaps it’s not in the cards for you. Maybe we should look into finding you a suitable husband. If that’s what you want.’’
‘‘I—I’ve always expected to marry for my country,’’ Alex said slowly. ‘‘I planned to respect my husband. I had hoped love would come with time.’’
She was only saying what she’d thought a thousand times before, but for some reason the statements made her uncomfortable. Even as she spoke, a voice in her head screamed that she wanted more than duty and respect. She wanted love and passion. Did she really think she could marry another man and let him touch her the way Mitch touched her? Alex shuddered. How repulsive.
‘‘I have to go,’’ she told her mother. ‘‘I have to…’’ She stumbled over an excuse.
‘‘That’s all right, Alexandra. I understand. Your father and I will be in touch. Take care.’’
‘‘Yes. You, too.’’
She didn’t remember hanging up the phone, but when next she became aware of her surroundings, she found herself staring out the window at the paddock. Several horses raced back and forth in the bright morning light. At first this view had been unfamiliar, but now she knew each tree, each bush and the way the color of the sky would change with the movement of the sun from east to west. She’d always found it beautiful, but today the vista was restful as well.
The phone rang. She turned to face it, but didn’t move from her spot. After three more rings, the answering machine clicked on. She heard her message, then a squeal that could only come from Serena.
‘‘Alex, are you there?’’ her sister asked. ‘‘We’ve seen the pictures and we all think he’s very yummy. And here we thought you were in Arizona actually searching for James. I can’t believe you’ve found a man. Call us back and plan to tell everything. Bye.’’
The machine had barely stopped recording when the phone rang again. This time she recognized her sister Katherine’s voice. ‘‘Alex, I’m guessing you’re avoiding calls, which I don’t blame you. I heard about the pictures.’’
There was a slight pause and Alex imagined her sensible sister smiling. ‘‘Who would have thought you’d find a handsome cowboy when we were supposed to be looking for our brother? I think I’m the tiniest bit jealous.’’ Katherine laughed. ‘‘Anyway, I wanted to phone and say ‘well done,’ then let you know that the infamous Bill Lewis has gone missing. I’m going to speak with his partner, Trey Sutherland, to find out what he knows.’’ She laughed again. ‘‘I feel a bit like a spy, sleuthing out clues. If this princess bit ever gets boring, I believe I might have a career as a detective.’’
Alex smiled as well. Who would have thought their time in the States would have changed them so much? If Alex had taken a lover and Katherine was considering a career as a detective, she could only imagine what Serena would get out of her visit.
‘‘That’s all,’’ Katherine said, obviously preparing to hang up.
Alex moved across the room and picked up the phone. ‘‘I’m here,’’ she said. ‘‘You’re right, I’m hiding out. I’ve already heard from mother and Serena.
‘‘The press won’t be far behind,’’ Katherine warned.
‘‘First they have to find me.’’ Alex twisted the phone cord around her fingers. ‘‘So you’re off to where?’’
‘‘New Mexico. As I said, no one has seen Bill Lewis in a while. His partner should be able to send me in the right direction.
‘‘Are you all right with this?’’ Alex asked. ‘‘Do you want me to send Elizabeth with you?’’
Katherine sighed. ‘‘I believe I can handle an interview with a businessman, thank you very much. I’ll be fine.’’
‘‘I worry,’’ Alex said.
‘‘As I worry about you.’’
‘‘Be careful,’’ Alex told her. ‘‘Let me know what you find out.’’
‘‘I promise to do both. After all, I’m the sensible sister, remember? If you want to lose sleep over anyone, try Serena. You wouldn’t believe the things she’s threatening to do. Someone needs to lock her up.’’
Alex laughed. ‘‘I’ll write a memo. Take care.’’
‘‘Bye.’’
Alex heard a soft click as her sister hung up the phone. She replaced the receiver. It rang as soon as it rested in the cradle. Alex ignored the call.
Instead she grabbed her jacket and ran from the room.
Fifteen minutes later she had Princess on a lead line and was exercising the mare at a slow trot. The activity was enough to keep her hands busy, but her mind still raced. She replayed her mother’s conversation and tried to make sense of all that had happened in the past few weeks.
Was she in love with Mitch? Is that what had happened? But she couldn’t have fallen for him. He was all wrong for her, or at the very least, he was complicated. They lived in different countries, they wanted different things. Or did they? She knew she wanted a caring partner and a family. Were Mitch’s dreams so very far from that?
‘‘It doesn’t matter,’’ she said aloud. ‘‘I have my duty to worry about.’’
Her duty. That was part of the problem, she realized. What was her duty? If they found her brother alive, then he would be heir to the throne. But what if they didn’t? She felt there was a good chance that parliament would change the law, which meant she would be queen of her country. That would change her life entirely. As just one of four princesses, she would have more freedom in choosing her mate and her place of residence, but as queen, she would be limited by location, if nothing else. She couldn’t live on a ranch. Besides, even if she could adjust, what about Mitch? He wasn’t the kind of man who would wear the weight of being a consort well.
Alex stood in the center of the corral, holding the lead line and turning slowly as the mare trotted around her. She looked at the beautiful mountains, the house and the barn, at the well-kept grounds. This ranch had been in Mitch’s family for generations. He wouldn’t want to leave it. She would never ask him to. So there was no point in worrying about their feelings because it would never work. Except…
Alex groaned in frustration. She couldn’t decide if she was being practical or a coward. Did she choose duty over love because duty was always clearer and safer? Did she love Mitch? Did he care about her? Were they having a torrid affair, or was it something more? If only she had the experience to know. But she didn’t and she couldn’t think of a single person to ask.
A Royal Baby on the Way Page 17
