by Alex Wolf
“I’m so sorry.” Stefani always knew what to say, and how to comfort her, but at the same time, Kristen saw there was almost a flicker of relief in her face. She knew Stefani never approved, but she hadn’t said anything more about it after their conversation a month ago.
“I loved him s-s-so much.” Kristen sobbed.
Stefani shook her head, trying to cheer her up. “He’s the last thing you need in your life right now. It’ll get better. I promise. Just focus on school and getting your life together. You don’t need some professor to make you happy.”
“You don’t understand.”
Stefani sighed. It was going to be difficult getting through the breakup but even harder without the support of her roommate. She wanted someone to tell her it was okay and that he’d come running back, however stupid that was. She just wanted some assurance everything would work out.
“I’m pregnant.” Her words came out mumbled.
Stefani gasped, then quickly schooled her features.
More silence.
Finally, she nodded. “Are you sure?”
“Look at the test.”
Stefani walked to the bathroom, and then came back in the room. “Did you tell him?”
“I texted him last week. And he called right back.” Kristen waited for Stefani to say something, but she said nothing. She looked up, and Stefani was looking out the window, her eyes darting back and forth like she was lost in thought. She didn’t ask what Grant had said. Didn’t ask what Kristen was going to do. She just stood there.
“You must think I’m an idiot. Look at me.”
Stefani still just stood there, staring. Finally, she spoke again. “I hate him.”
Stef didn’t look back at her, but for some odd reason, Kristen felt the need to defend Grant.
“It wasn’t his fault. I should’ve been more careful. I should’ve known better.” Kristen put her hands over her eyes, closing out the world.
Stefani sighed once more.
She thought Stef was going to call her an idiot. Tell her how stupid she was. Scold her for only blaming herself.
“Have you eaten anything?”
Kristen didn’t answer. She didn’t uncover her eyes.
She heard the sound of the fridge suctioning open and a lid popped off a container.
“I made macaroni and cheese last night. It’s not the greatest, but you should eat something. The baby needs nutrients.”
Kristen said nothing. She heard the sound of pasta being scraped into a bowl and buttons on the microwave. Stefani might not have the right words to say, but she was doing her best.
When the microwave chimed, Kristen sat up in bed, her heart heavy and her eyes red. Stefani was still silent and handed her the bowl on a napkin with a fork. She sat down, and Kristen stabbed the macaroni.
Stef put a hand on her forearm. “I’m gonna miss you.”
Kristen didn’t say anything. She couldn’t. She hadn’t realized how close she’d grown to Stefani over the past few months, and now that her decision was made, she knew she’d have to say goodbye. Tears rolled down her cheeks again. She sat the pasta down and jumped out of bed.
The two girls embraced, and Kristen broke down and didn’t want to let go of her.
Chapter Twenty
Grant sighed and stared at the wall of his classroom. The students were all taking a test with their heads down. It’d been two weeks since he’d broken up with Kristen, and he hadn’t heard another word.
She’d made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him, and his class felt strangely empty without her.
His entire life felt empty without her.
He knew it’d be best to give her some time, and now that he’d thought about it more, he couldn’t expect her to be back in class so soon. In a way, he was relieved she hadn’t been there. He wouldn’t be able to look at her.
And the whole time knowing she carried his baby.
He couldn’t get her pregnancy out of his mind. He felt horrible about what he’d said to her on the phone, and he wished there was a way he could take it back.
It was ridiculous to accuse her of something like that, but he’d been so caught up in the moment. He needed to wait for her to calm down some more and then step up and handle things once they’d both processed everything for a while.
If she was going to keep this baby, then he owed it to her to take care of the kid, even if it was from a distance.
Even that thought crushed him. How could he expect her to bear the burden alone? Money could only do so much. He would want to be in the child’s life. She’d probably want nothing to do with him. In fact, she’d been pretty clear on the matter. But he had rights. He wanted to know his child, and love his child, even if its mother didn’t.
He’d always thought he’d make a good dad.
Was she going to drop out of school? It would be a long shot for her to finish college as a single mother with no support, let alone be able to go after her dreams.
He was a selfish monster who’d put his needs above hers.
He didn’t have to do what he did. He could have told himself no, should’ve kept her at arm’s length.
He should’ve poured himself another drink at home instead of yanking her out of that bar. It would have been far better than causing her to hate him and drop of out of school.
Had it all been horrible, though? It hadn’t all been bad. They’d had so many good times, and he’d been happier than he’d been in a long time. Grant knew he loved her, he just hadn’t had the courage to admit it to himself. At first, it was just raging hormones, but he’d settled in and gotten to know her. He never wanted to be with anyone else after that.
He lifted his phone from the desk, debating on whether it would be a good idea to call her after class. He didn’t know what she would say, or if she’d even answer. He just wanted to hear her voice.
A light knock at the door jolted him from his thoughts, and he looked up, along with the rest of the class. It was Kristen’s roommate, Stefani. The students’ heads all shifted back down to their quizzes.
“Can I help you?”
He fought the urge to run over to her and beg her for information. Stefani walked down to his desk. She had a file in her hand and held it out to him.
“What am I looking at?”
“Can you sign these?” She stared around the room and kept her voice at a whisper.
Grant took the file, and opened it, scanning the contents.
“This is a drop form? What do you need me to sign it for? You’re not in my class.”
“It’s not for me.” She leaned over. “Kristen’s leaving school. She sent me for obvious reasons.” Stefani crossed her arms and stared daggers at him.
Fuck, she knows.
Something about Stefani’s presence, and her stare, turned his veins to ice.
He tried to keep his voice down, even though he could see Bailey Ferguson leaning in trying to listen. “How’s she doing?”
“She said not to discuss anything with you.”
Grant wondered if that was true or if she was just protecting her friend. Part of him was hurt, another part hoped that it was the latter.
“When is she leaving?” He scribbled his name across the paperwork.
“I told you already. She said not to discuss anything.” Stefani rolled her eyes.
It was clear he wasn’t going to get any information out of her, no matter how hard he tried.
He just wanted the girl out of his class as quickly as possible. But, after she got the papers back, she didn’t leave. She walked up and then stood in the doorway, stone cold and silent, watching him with the same icy expression as when she walked into the room.
She had every right to be angry in defense of her friend, but at the same time, he couldn’t help but get pissed about the way she glared. She just stood there, shaking her head in disgust.
He already felt horrible. He didn’t need some nineteen-year-old student judging him.
She d
idn’t understand his position. She didn’t know where he was coming from. She’d only heard half the story. All she knew was what Kristen had told her, and he was sure it wasn’t sympathetic to him at all. She didn’t know the big picture.
The thoughts ran through his mind as he sat there and graded papers.
“Thanks.” She finally headed out the door.
“Have a nice day.” He knew it was childish and immature, but he was going to get the last word. This was his fucking classroom, after all, and he might’ve made mistakes, but he wasn’t going to have a student give him shit in his own room.
Stefani, it seemed, wasn’t afraid to be disrespectful to anyone.
Her middle finger shot up as she left, right as the class all turned to see what was going on. Apparently, she didn’t give a fuck if any of them were staring at her or not.
Part of his brain told him this shit was all a dream. It had to be a nightmare. None of this was really happening.
Everything had changed now. Signing the papers felt so—final. Like he was signing his life away. Now, knowing that Kristen was going to leave for home or another school, he would be all alone, wondering what would’ve happened to her for the rest of his life.
Pure, agonizing pain crushed him.
He buried his face in his palms right on his desk. The students all stared, but he didn’t give a fuck who saw him or what they thought. He didn’t need any of them. He was about to lose her. He needed her.
He knew what he had to do. He was going to stop her. She couldn’t leave. He didn’t care what it took. He didn’t even care if it meant he was going to have to move wherever she went. All that mattered to him was that he had her.
He was going to beg to get her back.
Chapter Twenty-One
Are you going?” Kristen still couldn’t pry her hands away from her stomach since she’d found out about the baby, and she hadn’t even come close to showing yet.
Stefani grabbed her keys and the list off the table. She was going to the grocery store to get snacks and treats, and when she got back, both girls planned on spending the night watching movies and talking. It was Kristen’s last night on campus.
“I think we wrote down everything. If not, I’ll come back and make two trips.”
She turned and walked out the door, and Kristen’s heart sank. The dorm seemed so empty without Stefani in it now. Part of her was sad that she was going to leave it behind.
Not even three minutes had passed, and there was a knock at the door.
“Stef?” Kristen opened the door.
She jumped back when Stef was just inches away. Stefani stood in front of her, breathless and with her hair blown back, like she’d sprinted up the stairs.
Kristen stared. “What the fuck, dude?”
“Forgot my keys. Didn’t you get my text?”
“What?” Kristen grabbed her phone. “Oh, sorry, it was on silent.”
Stefani rolled her eyes, and they both laughed.
“God, you scared the shit out of me. I’ll turn it on in case you need to ask me something at the store.”
“I’ll hurry.” Stefani shook her head and grabbed her sunglasses. She turned and left.
A few minutes later there was another knock at the door.
I’m going to kill this bitch.
“What the fuck, Stef?” She said the words right as she opened the door. Fear shot through her like a bolt of lightning, and nothing but pure anger followed. “What the fuck do you want?”
Grant stood in front of her. “I need to talk to you.” He tried to come through the door, but Kristen shook her head.
“No. You need to go.”
She tried to close the door, but he blocked it with his shoe. She grunted in frustration.
He pushed the door open wider with his palm. He didn’t fight against her, but he didn’t let her close it in his face either.
“I need to talk to you.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk to you.” Kristen tried to close the door again, but it wouldn’t budge. “Go away, or I’ll scream.”
His jaw tensed. “Would you stop acting like a child and making a scene? Jesus.”
She folded her arms over her chest. “I’m acting like the child? You know what? Just get the fuck out. I have nothing to say to you.”
Why couldn’t he seem to understand her words? The man was a fucking professor, for God’s sake.
“Okay, Kristen. You want to play your little games. Fine. We’ll see what happens when we go to court and I win custody of my baby.”
Her whole body froze, every muscle frigid. Pure horror coursed through her body. “Fuck you. That will never happen.”
“Really? I’m a professor with a career. A responsible adult. You’re a college dropout. What do you think will happen?”
Her stomach twisted, and tears threatened the corner of her eyes once more. He was probably right? Surely, he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t take her baby away from her.
His gaze dropped to the floor, as if he felt bad for what he’d just said. “I don’t want to do that, but you’re leaving me no choice by acting like an immature brat. I came over to apologize and try to work something out.”
“You should’ve done that a long time ago.”
“Really?” He nodded the most sarcastic nod she’d ever seen, and then scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Fuck, you’re so impossible sometimes.”
Something inside of her still found happiness, knowing how frustrated she could make him. For a brief moment, they were back to their old selves.
“Just let me in for five fucking minutes. I look like an idiot out here.”
She pushed the door aside and glared at him.
He stepped into the room.
“You have three.”
He whipped around once he was in the middle of the room. “Don’t make demands, Kristen. It won’t end up well for you.” He pointed at her face.
She threw her arms up in frustration, then quickly moved her hands back to her baby as if to protect it. “Why now? All of a sudden I’m leaving, and you’re here.”
The door closed. It was just the two of them in the room. She didn’t trust herself with him. It was the reason she’d wanted him to stay in the hall. The reason she’d sent a text to tell him. He’d say the right things, or do the right things, then he’d walk out on her again. Fuck that.
“You should’ve thought about all of that before you just tossed me aside.”
“I didn’t know you were pregnant.”
“So?”
“So!” He took a step toward her. “How’d you think I would react? What did you think would happen?”
She turned and looked out the window. “I don’t know. Not the way you did, obviously.”
“Really?” He threw his hand up and sighed in frustration. He ground his jaw. “You didn’t have this news dropped on you with someone being confrontational. You got to sit around and make a decision, whether you should call me, text me, or come over. You had an opportunity to think it through first. Not have it blasted in your face, and then be grilled with life choices and ultimatums.”
She could kind of see his point. She’d seen the test and then sat around, wondering what to do. She was pretty freaked out at first. It didn’t matter, though. She would’ve never let him go for weeks alone in that state.
“What about the last two weeks? You couldn’t let me know this shit somehow? You just left me here, hating you.”
“It’s all I’ve thought about. But you dropped a bomb and told me you didn’t want to hear from me. Then sent people who flipped me off in the middle of my classroom after I signed their goddamn papers that meant you were leaving.”
Kristen tried not to grin. Stefani hadn’t told her she’d flipped him off.
“So, what do you want? Why are you here?”
“I want to say I’m sorry. And I want to do the right thing. And I don’t regret our relationship, or whatever it was we’ve been
doing. But you’re making it pretty difficult to do.”
Kristen looked away. Tears formed in her eyes, and she didn’t want to cry in front of him.
“I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry we weren’t more careful. And you feel you have to bear most of the burden. I’m sorry for that. I’ll do whatever you need me to do. If you need money, it’s yours. The only thing I ask is that I get to be a part of my child’s life.”
Her jaw was set, and her mind was in a million places. She didn’t like being placed on the spot like this, but she’d be a huge hypocrite if she got pissed at him for it, because she’d done the same thing to him. All she could do was stare at the same icy blues that once heated her up the moment they’d walk into the room.
“Most of all, I’d like to give a relationship a try. I love you.”
What the fuck just happened?
He still stood there, yammering like an idiot while her heart came alive, and all the colors around her turned vibrant. It was the only thing she’d ever wanted to hear him say, and he’d fucked it all up, over and over.
“I want to marry you someday. I know that it all seems sudden, but fuck what the school has to say, and I don’t give a fuck what society says anymore. I’ve never been happier than I was with you the last few months. You make me so fucking happy.”
Kristen stood there, speechless.
She’d expected him to apologize and leave, but she’d never thought he’d want to commit to her—and eventually marry her.
She opened her mouth to reply, but words wouldn’t come out. “I-I—"
He stepped toward her and grabbed her hands. He lowered himself to his knees in front of her. It’d always been her crawling to him in the past, but the roles had reversed. He was elevating her on a pedestal. Like he was worshipping her.
She’d always been the one who begged, but now it was him begging for her.
It had to be humiliating, and he didn’t care. He looked like he’d go to the ends of the earth for her.
