A Soul For Chaos (The Soulbearer Trilogy)

by Crista McHugh

  “Yes, chaos can be very beautiful, despite what Nelos would have others believe.” He came behind her and pointed to a star that pulsated with energy. “Watch what happens when the heavens are allowed free rein.”

  The star beat in time with her heart, doubling size until it filled the sky. Then it exploded in a blast of blinding light, bringing tears to her eyes. The remnants rained down upon her in shimmering golden fragments the size of rain drops. They kissed her skin, filling her with peace and energy.

  Loku wrapped his hands around her shoulders. “You see, there’s so much that chaos can bring to the world. And as my Soulbearer, I can teach you how to harness that power.”

  Her pulse quickened, and Dev’s warnings echoed in her mind. She shrugged free from Loku. “And drive me insane in the process.”

  “No, my dear Soulbearer, you have it all wrong. I have no desire to drive you insane.” He ran his fingers through her hair, fanning it across her upper back. His breath bathed her ear.“My desires for you are very different.”

  He spoke to her like a seductive lover, arousing her with mere words. And her lingering anger at Kell fueled the temptation to know what it felt to lie in the arms of god. She leaned back against him, molding her body to his. But instead of the heat of bare skin, all she felt was the ice of corpse.

  She jerked away with a yelp and turned to see if he was still standing behind her.

  Loku hung his head, his eyes as tightly clenched as his fists. “There was a time when I could enjoy all the pleasures of the flesh. Now I’m condemned to this pretend existence.”

  His body began to dissipate, taking the light with it, and terror knotted her gut.

  “No, wait, please don’t leave me alone in this place.”

  His body solidified, and he regarded her with his head tilted to the side, his brows drawn. “I have a hard time deciding what I should do with you,” he said at last. “You are not like the other Soulbearers.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “Yes, I have tits. We’ve been over this before.”

  The confusion melted from his face, and he laughed. The sound was infectious, washing away her unease with its levity. “It’s far more than just your tiny breasts that hold my attention.”

  “Is that why you invaded my dreams tonight? To mock my lack of cleavage?”

  “No, my dear Arden. As I said, I’d hoped to comfort you after what Kell did to you tonight.”

  The sting of rejection revived with the violence of a whip. She took a deep breath to ease the pain. “Yes, well, now I know how he truly feels. He thinks I’m a freak, just like everyone else in Ranello did.”

  “I don’t think you’re a freak.”

  She bit back a laugh as she watched the black lines crawl across his body and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t.”

  Loku pulled her into his arms and hugged her, his body warmer than before. “There, there. That is what I wanted you to know. They think you’re odd, a freak, a pain in their ass, but not me. You couldn’t be more perfect if I crafted you out of pure chaos.”

  “Thank you, Loku.” She closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder, grateful for his small act of affection.

  “No matter what happens, you’ll always have me.” He lifted her chin, his eerie glowing eyes inches from her own. “And I have great plans for you. Remember that.”

  A shiver coursed through her. “And what might those plans be?”

  “Always so suspicious,” he joked with a tweak of her nose. “If you’re dying to know, then I’ll give you a small hint. I intend to make sure they treat you better than your predecessors.”

  “Who are they? And what do you mean, better?”

  “The Empress and her cronies, of course. And that includes Dev.” He took her hand and led her through the changing landscape. “They fear you, what you are, and what you can become. They will try to imprison you in more than one way, through both force and fear. Listen to me, and I will keep you safe.”

  “And what if you end up causing me more trouble?”

  He chuckled. “You earned that name on your own long before you met me. All I intend to do is bolster your confidence. For example, you can do much better than Kell.”

  She doubted there was any truth behind that. Kell was the most desirable man in the kingdom. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

  “No, I mean that as the truth. He was a grand lover, judging by the number of times he made you cry out with pleasure—”

  “Loku!” Her whole body burned with embarrassment. “Those were private moments.”

  “Not to me. Your body is as much mine as it is yours. I see, hear, taste, smell and feel everything you do.” His lips curled up into a naughty grin. “I must admit, I’m quite jealous of you women, being able to experience ecstasy over and over again.”

  Arden shielded her view of him with her hand. I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with him. “Again, those were private moments.”

  “And I respected them enough to keep silent.” His expression spoke of anything but respect. “But as grand a lover as the prince was, he never really captured your heart, did he?”

  She halted. Loku’s question awakened the inner doubts that paralyzed her every night as she lay in Kell’s arms and listened to him tell her he loved her. She would try to force her lips to move, to form the words that echoed his sentiment, but the words would never come. “I care about him.”

  “But you don’t love him like you do Dev, and that’s been the problem from the beginning, hasn’t it?”

  The doubt dug its way into her chest, leaving her feeling hollow. “Dev doesn’t care about me, remember?” Bitterness filled her mouth, spilling over into her words. “I gave him a chance, but he’s bound to his duty.”

  “You don’t know him like I do. In time, he’ll see the error of his ways.” Loku squeezed her hand. “In the meantime, let’s focus on making sure you let the Empress know that you won’t cower before her. We’ll be in Queembra in a few days, and she will test you just as she did the others.”

  Thank the Lady Moon the conversation has shifted away from my pathetic love life. “And what is this test you refer to?”

  “Empress Marist is skilled at invading minds and manipulating them to do her will. You’ll need to have your shields at full strength if you want to withstand her magic.”

  Horror shuddered through her. “How awful! How can they let someone like her rule?”

  “How do you think she claimed the crown?” His mouth pressed into a straight line, letting her know that wasn’t the only method the Empress may have used to gain power. “You must not only thwart her efforts, but also let her know that you refuse to be her pawn.”

  “That is something I have no problem doing.”

  His mood lightened, and his eyes brightened. “I thought as much. But before we plan our little show of force, we need to work on strengthening your shields.”

  “Now?”

  The world started fading into darkness around her. “No, my little Soulbearer. Now is the time for sleep. In the morning, we will begin your training.”

  Chapter 15

  Kell flung his arm over his eyes, but the sunlight managed to penetrate his closed lids and intensify the throbbing in his head. The banging at the door didn’t help matters, either.

  “Wake up, Kell.” The door opened as Dev barked his command, and a splash of cold water doused Kell’s face. “We need to get on the road.”

  Kell snapped up from the soaked pillows, sputtering the excess water from his mouth and nose. “I’m going to have you hanged one day.”

  “Not here, you won’t.” Dev tossed the empty pitcher at him. “Trouble and I have been ready to go for an hour while you’ve been getting your beauty sleep. If you’re not ready in five minutes, we’re leaving without you.”

  The door slammed shut with another ear-assaulting bang that left him wincing. He removed his shirt and wrung
it out before putting it back on. Then he pulled out his hand mirror and studied his reflection.

  I need a few more hours of beauty sleep. Dark circles framed his eyes, and thick stubble lined his sallow cheeks. But, if Dev was true to his word, then he didn’t have time to shave this morning. He shoved his belongings back in his bag and went out into the abysmally cheery main room.

  “So glad you decided to join us.” Dev shoved two slices of warm bread with melted cheese between them into his hand. “This ought to help settle your stomach.”

  Kell sniffed it. Normally, his mouth would have watered from the scents of sharp cheese, melted butter, and honey sweetened bread, but he caught the hint of something else among the aromas. “What did you put on it?”

  Dev raised his brows in mock astonishment. “You don’t trust me?”

  “Do I really have to answer that question?” Reason won over his suspicion, though—he needed to eat if he intended to make it through another day’s grueling journey. His tongue tingled with the first bite, and his queasiness waned.

  He pulled apart the bread to look for the source of the cure, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. “You didn’t use magic on this, did you?”

  “Are you feeling better or not?” Dev took Kell’s bag and continued toward the door. “Now let’s go. Trouble’s already on her horse, and I don’t want to let her out of my sight for any longer.”

  Although his mind remained foggy, Kell couldn’t shake the sensation that something had changed with Dev. And he wasn’t quite sure if he liked it or not.

  When he went outside, Arden gave him a cool glance, but said nothing. She waited until he mounted his horse before spurring her own forward, keeping Dev between them.

  It was about mid-morning when Dev dropped back to ride alongside Kell. “Do you have any idea what you’re going to discuss with the Empress when we arrive at Queembra?”

  “Why are you suddenly so interested?”

  “Because I know the Empress and what she’s capable of doing if she thinks your motives are not what you claim they are. If she suspects you of spying on her or trying to keep the Soulbearer for your own personal use, then you may end up feeling the executioner’s blade.”

  Dev said the words so calmly as he looked straight ahead that Kell wondered if there was any truth to them. “You’re just saying that to get a rise out of me.”

  “No, I’m saying that because I want you to return home in one piece.”

  Kell laughed bitterly. “I appreciate your genuine concern for my well-being, but I think I know how to handle matters of diplomacy. And after all, the Empress is just a woman.”

  Arden’s back stiffened, and her horse whinnied in protest to her tight grip on the reins. He didn’t need to see her face to know she’d overheard him and didn’t like what he’d said.

  He cursed under this breath. Way to make things worse. Dev’s triumphant expression only added to his crankiness like pouring vinegar on an open wound. “Fine. What should I be doing?”

  “You need to come up with a good reason why you’re here alone without the pomp and nonsense that befits a visiting prince. Just the fact you’ve tried to conceal your arrival to Gravaria will have her guard raised.”

  Kell let Dev’s advice roll around in his mind while pondering what the knight’s true motives were. Since the moment they met, Dev had done everything in his power to thwart Kell’s efforts, both with Arden and with politics. “And you’re suddenly so willing to help me because?”

  Dev nodded toward Arden. “I know how much it would upset her if something bad happened to you. And when she’s upset, it means more work for me.”

  For the first time that morning, Kell found a reason to smile. “So it comes back to making things simpler for you?”

  “Of course.” The corner of Dev’s mouth rose. “But back to turning this into a real diplomatic visit. You told Fane that you wanted to improve ties between Ranello and Gravaria. Why?”

  Kell’s guard rose as the tone of the conversation changed from teasing levity to frank seriousness. “Are you trying to extract information from me?”

  “No, I’m trying to prepare you for the very questions the Empress will ask. The last diplomatic envoy to Ranello was made during the first year of her reign, and your father’s attitude did not leave a favorable impression on her.”

  “If I remember correctly, she didn’t come to Ranello herself. I’d hope that as the heir to the throne, my presence here would help reassure her that my visit is earnest.”

  “Heir to the throne?” Dev pressed his lips together, and his shoulders tightened. “You’re awfully cocky to assume that.”

  “I’m assuming nothing. My father told me as much the night of the earthquake.”

  “And you think he’ll stay true to his word when you followed us without his permission?”

  Once again, the elf proved he knew more than Kell wanted. “You’re not going to give me a break, are you?”

  “I’m only trying to prepare you that best way I know how.”

  For years, Kell had basked in the glory of being the favorite son, of being part of conversations like this where his father would groom him to take over the throne. Now, he was getting advice from the most unconventional knight he’d ever known, and he wasn’t sure if he should be worried or thankful. But something inside him told him he could trust Dev just this once with the issue that had been lingering in the back of his mind since he’d returned from the border. “Will you give me your word that this will remain just between us?”

  “You have my word as a knight.” A hint of humor danced in Dev’s normally serious eyes and carried over to his voice.

  “And we both know what kind of knight you are,” he replied, continuing the joke between them. He’d once accused Dev of being a pitiful excuse for a knight, but the elf had proven himself time and time again in his duty to Arden. “I have a feeling that Thallus will be attacking Ranello soon.”

  “A feeling? Or proof?”

  The memory of troops amassing along the other side of the mountains that separation the two nations haunted him. “Proof.”

  Dev offered only a sober nod at first. “Does your father know?”

  “Yes, but he foolishly thinks our soldiers will be enough to take them on if they decide to invade. The Thallians not only have those complex machines, but they also have magic. If the battle against Sulaino taught me anything, it was that the only way to fight magic is with magic.”

  “So you wanted to make sure your favorite magical weapon returned home?” He gestured toward Arden.

  “No, it’s not like that.” Even though having Arden on his side would make fighting off the Thallians much easier. He’d seen how she’d single-handedly destroyed Sulaino’s army of undead using nothing but her magic. “I think it’s time Ranello lifted its ban on magic.”

  “And what part would Gravaria play in this?”

  “Education.” Dev’s head inclined toward Kell, and he continued, “Magic has been banned from Ranello for centuries. But, if we are to bring it back, then we need skilled mages to teach our people.”

  “Assuming you haven’t burned all the Ranellian mages at the stake before now.”

  Kell rolled his eyes. “Always so cynical.”

  “I prefer realistic. Look how close Trouble came to be being torched for saving your royal hide.”

  Dev’s point did throw a kink in his idealistic plans, but Kell searched for alternatives. His father had always taught him to think three steps ahead. “Then perhaps we can open the door to mages from Gravaria who’d be willing to work for the crown.”

  “You mean like mercenaries?”

  Kell nodded, his mind already racing with the potential of this idea. “I’m sure Gravaria has a few mages who’d be willing to come to Ranello in exchange for land or money.”

  “Perhaps, but there’s always the question of where their loyalty will lie.” He exhaled a heavy breath. “I don’t envy you a bit. You have a tough r
oad ahead of you if you desire to bring about the changes you speak of.”

  “I have no choice in the matter. Times have changed, and I can’t let Ranello linger in the darkness any longer.”

  ***

  Kell’s thighs burned from the rigorous pace Dev kept them riding at, but it was nothing compared to the ache he felt whenever he looked at Arden. If he asked her a question, he was lucky to get a sharp, one-word answer. Otherwise, she ignored him, keeping her back to him for the entire ride. He was at a loss how to win her back and prayed to the Lady Moon that Arden would forgive him soon.

  The sun was setting when Dev led them to a door embedded in the side of a cliff. “We’ll stop here tonight—I don’t want to risk the climb at night.”

  A tingle bathed Kell’s skin as he passed through the doorway, reminding him of walking through a large spider web. He rubbed his arms, unable to shake the feeling.

  Dev seemed particularly interested in his reaction. “Is something the matter?”

  Kell shook his head. Ever since he’d landed in Gravaria, he hadn’t felt at ease. Dev had said that the land was filled with magic, but the constant exposure to it reminded him of how that air crackled with energy before an approaching storm. He expected lightning to flash across the sky any moment now.

  A large room had been carved out of the cliff, rivaling the finest inns in Ranello. The walls and beams were intricately engraved and highlighted with vibrant splashes of paint. The dark wood furniture centered around a copper fire pit, and the succulent smell of roasting meat warmed the interior.

  Arden paused beside him, her mouth parted. “This is amazing. I wonder how long it took to build this.”

  “Not very long,” Dev answered. “The rock is soft, easily hollowed out. There are homes like this scattered all along the plateau.”

  Their hostess, a woman in a simple dress that appeared to be little more than swath of fabric wrapped around her body, led them to a table and began pouring wine. When she came to him, she rested her hand on his shoulder. Soothing warmth flowed through him from her touch. “Do not be afraid of this place, welcomed stranger. Our magic will keep you safe tonight.”