by Amy Johnson
And then there was Ted. He would likely be released from the hospital today and he probably wasn’t going to be happy when he found out that he was now homeless. Of course he could go stay with Tiffany Triple D or maybe the Madrino's had a nice big trunk they could stuff him in. None the less, he was history whether he liked it or not.
Setting the coffee maker to run she began pulling ingredients from the fridge when the phone rang. She looked up at the ceiling and prayed it was her mother calling to discuss Granny. No such luck.
“Megan, it’s Ted.”
“And?” She started the bacon cooking, more interested in clogging her arteries than talking to the idiot.
“Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick. I’ve been calling constantly.” The jerk actually sounded concerned.
“Why would you be worried Ted? You up to no good?”
“No…but…” Megan smiled, he was stammering. Good.
“Afraid your girlfriend might stop by? Or maybe the Madrino's looking for their money? Or maybe your brother wanting the deed to the studio that you so discreetly sold him,” she heard him coughing and wondered if it would be too much to ask for him to contract the plague. “Am I missing anyone? Anyone else you’ve slept with or pissed off.”
“Megan, I know I have a lot of explaining to do but…”
“Save it,” she said looking out the window. Jack was still there on guard duty. She smiled and felt a tingling sensation burn through her body. “Why did you call?”
“I need a ride.” Ted said flatly. So did Megan, but probably not the same kind.
“Call Tiffany,” she retorted.
“I already did…” he stopped as if he’d just caught what he said. “She’s, uh, unavailable.”
“Call a cab,” Megan growled.
Ted snorted. “A cab? Are you kidding me? I’m in a freaking hospital gown. I need clothes too.”
Megan laughed. “So have the cab drop you off at Wal-Mart. You can buy clothes there.”
“I don’t have any money!” he shouted.
“Me either. Seems my husband spent all his on a red-headed whore and drugs.”
“Megan!” His voice was so loud and thick it vibrated the phone.
Megan began making static sounds and said, “Sorry Ted, phone’s all static. Gotta go.” She hung up the phone with Ted in mid scream.
The phone rang again and she unplugged it not feeling one bit sorry for Ted. After getting eggs and toast going she filled Ted’s thermos with coffee and sat it on a cookie sheet that she draped with a doily. She’d prefer to take Jack breakfast in bed but since he’d slept in his truck, breakfast in a Jeep would have to do. Maybe she could serve him dinner in bed. Hell, maybe she’d be dinner.
After loading the tray with food she ran upstairs to dash on a little makeup and grab her robe.
Jack saw the backdoor open and he closed his eyes to play possum. He’d spent the night watching the house, mainly her window, and kicking himself for choosing the truck instead of her warm bed. With her in it, warm and cuddly and naked. She approached his window and rapped lightly. He ignored her. She tried the door handle and found it locked. She knocked again softly and called his name. He concentrated on ignoring her but then she pounded on the window making him jump and he opened his eyes and lowered the window a bit.
“Good you’re awake,” she smiled and he knew he didn’t stand a chance. “I made breakfast. Want to come inside?”
Yes! “No, I’m fine. I’ll just take some coffee if you’ve got it.”
“I thought we could talk over breakfast,” she said holding up the thermos. Maybe she could lure him out of truck with it. Either that or she could open that robe.
“C’mon Jack, Its cold out here and you can’t be comfortable.”
“I’d rather stay put.”
She opened the thermos and, with her eyes half closed and a wicked smile, inhaled the scent. It looked like she was having an orgasm. Jack gripped the stirring wheel.
“It’s really good,” She said huskily.
No shit! “Thanks.” He rolled down the window to take the thermos and she hit the switch to unlock the door. He stared at her while she opened the door.
“Scoot over,” she said. He didn’t budge. She crawled over him, grazing her butt over his thighs and his mind went to mush. What the hell was he doing? He wanted her, she wanted him. Game over!
“If you won’t come out, I’ll just come in,” she said once she got settled. The food was on the hood but she handed him the thermos. “Now, if I hop out to get the tray are you going to lock me out?”
He was more tempted to lock her in. “No,” he said, then after a moment, “I’ll go inside and eat.”
“Good, because I’m freezing.” He opened the door and got out and she crawled back across the seat to follow. He took her hand to help her out and she pulled him close to her and bit his bottom lip. His lips parted and she filled his mouth with an intoxicating kiss, tasting and teasing until the kiss erupted to an orgasmic level. He needed that water hose quick. He was about to come and he’d barely touched her. How embarrassing would that be? She leaned into him and felt him hard and stiff against her thigh and she smiled against his lips. To hell with subtlety, he’d take her right there. He couldn’t wait any longer. Parting the robe he reached in and cupped her soft breast through her tank top. Her nipple was taut and hard and when he ran his thumb over it she moaned and tugged him closer.
“Megan,” he whispered, “we should probably go in…”
“Shut up, Jack.”
“But if we don’t go inside your neighbor’s are going to get one hell of a show.”
“Shut up, Jack.”
“I mean it. I’ve waited a long time for this. I won’t be able to control myself.”
“Shut up, Jack!” Megan and Jack both jumped because this time it wasn’t Megan’s voice telling him to shut up. He felt a warm breath at the nape of his neck and a hand on his butt and looked at Megan who had both hands in his hair.
“Granny!” Megan shouted after opening her eyes and seeing Granny standing behind Jack her hand cupping Jack’s luscious butt. “Go in the house!”
“No, the fun is out here.” Jack turned his head and Granny said, “I’m next.”
Jack stood there frozen, his hand still in Megan’s robe. He felt like he was fifteen again being busted with a girl in his daddy’s truck. He slowly removed his hand from her breast and placing one hand under her knees and the other behind her back he scooped her up and hauled her up the driveway towards the house. Granny was hot on his heels carrying the tray of food.
“Granny has got to go,” Megan muttered into Jack’s chest.
“Damn right she does. She’s hell on a hard on.”
“I heard that,” Granny said. “I can’t help it if your firecracker has a weak fuse.”
“There is nothing wrong with my firecracker except that ever since I saw Megan again at Ted’s studio I’ve been walking around halfcocked, on fire, and ready to burst.” Megan looked at him confused. It didn’t make any sense. He’d said since he’d seen her again. And the other night he said he waited fifteen years. She had never met him before that night. What the hell was he talking about?
“Sounds like a case of the crabs to me,” Granny retorted.
“Granny!” Megan shouted and then to Jack she said, “Just ignore her, she’s crazy. She’s obviously lost it.”
Granny snorted. “I haven’t lost anything. He’s the one who keeps losing it.”
“Enough!” Megan said to the two of them. It was just a little weird arguing with her grandmother over Jack’s hard on. If Mrs. Everett found out she’d have Jerry Springer on speed dial. Talk about your dysfunctional family sex triangles.
Jack sat her down on her feet in the kitchen and Granny shut the door pouting.
“All I’m saying Megan is maybe lover boy has got a dud down…” Megan was ignoring Granny and Jack was taking the old woman in stride. He’d stifle a chuckle here a
nd there and seemed to focus most of his attention staring at Megan with that intoxicating animal sex look in his eye.
Damn oh damn! Granny has definitely got to go. Quick!
“Oh look, we got company. This oughta be good. Should we pop some corn or just go straight for the liquor.” Megan made it to the window just in time to see Ted getting out of a Taxi cab, his hospital gown blowing with the wind. He was mooning the entire neighborhood. Mrs. Everett probably had her camera in one hand and the phone in the other. Jerry Springer show recruiters were probably on their way.
Oh hell!
“How do you want to handle this?” Jack asked her, pressing his body close to hers from behind. His arms circled her waist in a possessive hold and his breath against her ear was causing yet another pair of her panties to turn to squish. How was she going to give Ted the boot when all she could think about was knocking boots with Jack? Double Hell!
Granny’s eyes lit up. Her voice giddy she said, “He’s naked. Hot damn, got me a naked boy coming in.”
“Let’s lock the doors and pretend we’re not home,” Megan said knowing that wouldn’t work. She’d have to face Ted sometime. Might as well be now when she was running on hormones and lust. And Jack who, God bless him, was sporting the mother of all boners. And rubbing it against her back. Oh damn, double damn!
Taking a deep breath she grabbed the U-Haul keys from the counter and went to the front door to meet Ted, the cradle robbing dickhead.
“My key won’t work,” he said still holding his key in the newly changed lock.
“Hi Ted,” she handed him the U-Haul keys. “Try these they’ll work.” He looked at her dumbfounded, taking in Granny and Jack’s smug faces.
“Megan?” he said looking pathetic, confused, and stupid in his thin cotton gown.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. While you were in the hospital you moved. Your stuff is in that truck and we’ll go through the rest later after I talk to a lawyer. I’m filing for divorce. Have a nice day.” She went to shut the door and he stopped it with his fist. Jack took a step forward and Megan pushed him back.
“Megan, I don’t want a divorce.” His voice was weak, his eyes wide and sad. “I don’t understand.”
“You cheated on me,” she said and he began shaking his head. “I found pot in the basement and you owe the Italian Wannabe's a butt load of money and you sold the studio. And you slept with Josie!” Ted winced. “What’s not to understand? You screwed up. Now get out.”
“Wait!” he said, and Megan frowned and opened the door about an inch for him.
“Two minutes Ted, then I’m slamming this door.”
“Ok,” he sighed. “Tiffany is over. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just…we just…and she was so…” He locked eyes with Jack. “Who’s he?”
“Jack. Now you’re wasting time here, Ted. Spit it out.” Megan said impatiently.
“I called Tiffany in the hospital and told her it was over. That’s done.”
Megan could have cared less. “So call her back. You’re homeless now. You can probably pitch a tent in her cleavage.” Jacked grinned and put his hands on Megan’s shoulders. Ted narrowed his eyes at Jack and took a step closer to Meg.
“I can’t call her back. She’s gone. Disappeared. Plus she hates me.”
“Imagine that. Well, she must be smarter than me because it took me ten years to get to that point.” Ted looked like hell so she asked, “Why does she hate you?”
“Because she told me she was pregnant and I told her to get lost.” Megan’s blood boiled and she slapped Ted across the face. Then did it again. Ten years she’d spent with him wanting kids, his kids, and he knocked up that red headed bimbo. Ted was rubbing his stinging cheek and shaking his head. “No, Megan, wait! It’s not mine. The kid isn’t mine.”
“Go to hell, Ted. You better be glad I don’t have a gun right now. They’d be scraping your nuts off the siding if I did. I swear to…”
“Mabel’s grandson has a gun. He’s a felon. Want me to call him?” Granny said. Megan ignored her and stared at Ted with pure hatred. Insert knife in heart and twist. This was the final freaking insult. Jack pulled her to him and she buried her head in his chest soaking his black tee shirt with violent angry tears.
Ted was still rambling on. “Megan there’s no way that kid is mine. I swear.”
“You were sleeping with her right?” she wailed, “You do know where babies come from don’t you? Insert dick, shoot sperm and presto. It’s not rocket science.”
“Hear me out Meg, the…kid…is…not…mine.” She slapped him again.
“Granny, feel free to make that phone call now.” Granny giggled and disappeared into the kitchen. Jack tried to pull Megan into him but she pushed away. This was between her and Ted. And, if he pissed her off again, Mabel’s grandson.
“Megan, I’ll take DNA tests to prove it.” Megan refused to look at him and he blurted, “I had a Vasectomy five years ago. There, I said it. So there’s nothing to worry about. Tiffany’s history and it’ll never happen again.” Ted reached out a hand to stroke her cheek that was against Jack’s chest again and she batted his hand away. Granny returned with a rolling pin and a set of pliers.
“You had a what? Five years ago. You bastard!” She nailed him with the rolling pin square on the side of his head. He stumbled back a bit and before he got his footing she hit him again. “You promised me kids and this stupid freaking fairytale and now you tell me this.”
“Here let’s crack his nuts.” Granny said holding out the pliers and Megan waved a hand at Ted’s gonads. “Be my guest, Granny.” Ted let the back of his gown go and brought both hands to cover the nuts in question. Granny narrowed her eyes and squeezed the pliers in a menacing manner. Jack winced and Ted shifted on his feet trying to avoid the jaws of hell, nipping at his scrotum.
“Your stuff is in that truck. Get in it and disappear. I don’t ever want to see you again.” She popped him again, this time dead on his forehead. “I’m keeping the pups and Spot and you are not getting visitation. So stay the hell away.” Megan said through clenched teeth.
“Yeah, or Jack’s gonna kick your ass,” Granny said, “Right Jack?”
“Right wild woman,” Jack answered smiling with teeth bared. Hell, he wanted to kill him just for making Megan cry. Her heart was breaking and he felt every crack mirrored in his own. How on earth he was going to make everything alright he didn’t know. He just knew he’d do it. Whatever it took. This hopefully involved kicking Ted’s ass then getting Megan naked.
“And make sure you settle your little drug deal. They are threatening me, calling, throwing bricks in the window.” Ted closed his eyes and seemed genuinely sorry.
“Megan, I tried to warn you. You wouldn’t answer the phone. I’ll take care of them somehow. I had the money. It just…disappeared.” Like Tiffany, Jack thought. Hmmm. “They’re going to kill me if I don’t pay them. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Megan took a double take. Ted was crying? Good! She hit him again.
“Sell the Jag. Sell your soul. Whatever. Just pay them and leave me alone.”
“Megan…” He grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. Jack grabbed his arm and they stood there, eyes locked, tempers rising, both in a strong hold of strength and wills.
“Don’t touch her!” Jack growled in a low, deadly rumble, his eyes almost black. Ted let go and Jack released his hand and pulled Megan out of the way. Granny used that exact moment to strike, clutching the pliers hard one time and striking flesh. Ted let out a piercing cry and knelt forward, his hands cupping his groin and with one swift move- which was impressive for a retired fortune teller with the libido of a sixteen year old and a moonshine habit- she caught the top of his head with her foot and kicked him hard enough to knock him off the steps. She wiped her hands together and slammed the door. “So, who’s hungry?” she asked heading to the kitchen. “I for one am starved. I don’t know what it is but the two F’s always just take it out of you.” When Jack and M
egan just stared at her with blank expressions she elaborated, “The Two F’s. You know, fighting and fuc..”
“We got it Granny. Jeez!” Megan gave Jack an apologetic look but he was busy caressing her back and spreading gentle kisses down her throat. Megan’s world had just fallen apart and Jack was horny and Granny was hungry. Megan bit her bottom lip afraid she might start crying. Jack pulled her closer and Megan noticed he was still aroused. Big time! She laughed. At least she’d gotten the fighting out of the way. That only left the…
Chapter FourteenJack was on cloud nine. He finally had Megan Johnson in his arms and he’d watched Ted Malone get his ass kicked by a girl and a little old lady. Talk about your testosterone depleting moments. Ted had stalked around on the front porch for about an hour after Megan gave him the boot but he finally climbed into his U-Haul and drove away after having drawn a gathering of gawking neighbors eyeing him in his backless gown and having his crotch sniffed by a Boxer pup from down the street. He looked like hell; unshaven, loss of weight, rolling pin shaped bruises on his head. Jack laughed. Megan had worked him over but good. And Jack felt great about it. She needed to get it out somehow. Of course lying beneath him naked experiencing the most mind blowing orgasm of her life would do just fine too, but that could come later.
Megan seemed a little shaky at first but she was coming around. She’d checked the window at least fifty times to see if Ted had left yet after Granny performed the Nut Cracker and kicked him out and she’d paced at least a country mile or two in the kitchen. She wasn’t sympathetic or sorry. Just hurt. Terribly hurt. Obviously she wanted kids and Ted’s betrayal-his secret Vasectomy-had done a number on her. Jack reassured her that the whole kids thing was still a possibility as she was only thirty years old and it was probably better she and Ted hadn’t procreated because then there would be innocent children involved in this whole mess. That seemed to comfort her. That and the fact that she had him to lean on.
And didn’t that feel good. Megan in his arms all soft and warm and lush. Her little cupcake breast crushed against his chest, her arms tightly around his neck, their hips rocking slowly. Jack might have to install a water spigot in his crotch to cool him off but it’d be worth it. She was coming to him freely, welcoming his touch and although he tried to get his mind on Algebra or The Law of Inertia to distract himself it seemed his dick had a mind of its own. And it was always on Megan. She’d noticed it too. She’d leaned into him and even laughed about his constant state of erect arousal. She wanted him and that only made him hotter.
