by Never, M.
Her breathing becomes choppy with every passing second. I continue to tease and rub and massages until she’s squirming. Until she’s squeezing me so tightly, I nearly see stars. Then, spontaneously she erupts, slamming her palm against the wall as she showers my cock with her come.
Holy fuck, I’m a statue hypnotized by her. Spellbound by the struggle of her body, the tightness of her pussy, and the overpowering hold it has on me. That was... I have no words.
Ash leans against the wall for support, panting with her eyes squeezed shut.
I trail blazing kisses along her shoulder and up her neck as she recuperates. When she comes around, and cracks open her eyes, there’s a new fire burning behind them. An all-consuming need that sucks me in like a black hole.
When I withdraw, she softly protests. I won’t be apart from her long. I have a raging hard-on that has a pulse of its own.
Urging her to turn around, I catch the tiniest trickle of blood escape down the drain.
All gone. And all fucking mine.
There’s a quiet moment of recognition shared between us. Something has been altered forever, something that will bind us for the rest of our lifetimes.
I reach over and turn the shower off.
“Bed, now,” I say.
Ash doesn’t argue. She just steps out the steaming stall first, with me right behind her.
Grabbing the towels off the vanity, I wrap her in one and then myself in another.
We dry off quickly as we move to the bedroom. Once our skin is dry enough, I rip the towels away and push Ash onto the mattress. She lands with a little bounce, her knees falling open.
“Just like that.” I stalk over her, burying my head right between her legs. She lets out a gasp, then a moan, then a sigh. She tastes like sex and is still wet as hell.
“Need to be inside you.” I’m so hopped up I can’t even form complete sentences.
“I’m right here.” She offers herself up.
Her willingness is intoxicating. It’s what I want.
Resting on top of her, I pin her hands to the mattress and slide my tongue down her neck and chest until I come upon her breasts. I worship each one, sucking and licking one nipple, then the other, until they are as sharp as two little points.
Then I sink in slow, watching Ash’s face the whole time. Watching her expression contort as I bury myself inch by fucking inch, her body bowing slightly the deeper I get.
Once I am completely inside her, completely engulfed, completely penetrating her, I move. Circling my hips in a lazy, slow motion, eating up the response I’m getting from the woman beneath me.
She’s succumbing to my command. Following the instruction of my body. She’s beautiful in the moonlight. I can see all her features. Her hair being up affords no obstructions. Every time I fantasized about Ash, her hair was always down, a tousled mess on the sheets. But I think I prefer it this way, especially for her first time. It lets me see everything. Let’s me be privy to everything, to all her sexy expressions.
“Eli.” She clenches her jaw as I thrust in deep.
“Feel good?” I nip at her ear.
“Yes,” she sighs, melting into the mattress.
“I love you,” I hum as I continue to move. I don’t want this to be over quick, but she’s so tight. So blistering hot, so sopping wet, all the sensations are going straight to my head.
I’m swimming in them. Drowning in them, begging to let them take me.
“Aw, fuck.” A shock of pleasure shoots up my spine. “Baby, I can’t.”
“Can’t what?”
“Slow down, stop. You feel too good.” I’m slipping away. “I want to make you come. I want you to come with me.” I grind on her clit with my pelvis and she groans. “That’s it.” I do it again and again and again until she’s squirming. Until she’s clamping down so hard on my cock I know a climax is inevitable.
“Oh!” she calls out in what almost sounds like pain. Ash struggles beneath me as she flies apart, her white-hot heat saturating my mind, body and soul.
My heart hammers as the rush of my own orgasm begins. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I pound my hips hard. There’s no more room for gentle. It’s replaced by a climatic burst of trembling, throbbing, pulsating, and palpitating. A gnawing ache that eats me alive from the inside out.
I collapse on top of Ash after the tornado of sensation passes. I’m sucking in air as if I’m being choked, clinging to her like she’s oxygen.
Our hearts beat against each other as I lie there, clutching her in the dark. I can’t let go. I’m afraid if I do, I may lose her forever. I am a total goner for this woman. Unrecoverable, irretrievable, no chance, no way, ever coming back, goner.
Sated, Ash sighs softly beneath me, hugging me. I know all her little noises by now. I know she’s been satisfied.
“How do you feel?” I kiss across her cheek.
“Good.” She purrs.
“Different?”
“No. Not really. Just...happy.”
My pride swells.
“Good.” I kiss her forehead.
“I love you.” She hums.
“I love you, too.” My heart hurts just saying it. Because it’s the truth, and if I lose Ash, I will surely lose myself. “So fucking much, you may never understand.”
“Then help make me understand.” There’s a seductive undertone in her voice. She wants more.
“I can do that. Tonight, and every other night if you let me.”
“I think we can explore our options,” she singsongs lullingly.
Dead. Buried. Gone.
She’s so open and receptive to fostering our relationship. There’s nothing on this earth I want more.
“How about I start right now?” I bite her neck and she yelps.
Time for round three.
Chapter Six
I’m resigned to tell Ash everything. Tonight.
It’s been three days since she told me the whole truth and then handed over her virginity. We’ve fucked like rabbits every night since.
She’s my future, no doubt about it.
But there’s still a shadow cast over our relationship. A shadow I have to chase away, so we can walk freely in the sun.
It’s going to be excruciating to come clean. But I’m going to do it, she’s going to listen, and Lord, please, hopefully forgive me.
I walk into the banquet decked out in my traditional dress blues. The awards ceremony is held annually to honor the men and women serving in local and federal law enforcement. A plethora of awards are given for bravery, meritorious service, lifesaving, outstanding service, as well as unit citations and the Commissioner’s Recognition award.
It’s quite a large deal and most of the force shows up in support.
It’s also a great excuse for free food and booze. But you didn’t hear that from me.
As I mingle with my fellow officers, I watch the minutes of the clock tick by. I’m going to Ash’s right after this, trad blues and all. I want her to see me for who I really am. Let’s just hope she doesn’t completely freak out.
I plan to sit her down, kneel between her knees and confess. Confess it all, like a sinner in church. Confess my feelings, my need, and all my regrets. There are many, but she’s worth all the repentance. She’s worthy of the rest of my life.
I listen distantly to the speakers on stage and to the soft conversation going on around me. Get a bunch of cops together and it’s a range of topics from guns, to cases, to women. I’m unusually quiet and my fellow officers notice. A few heckle me, asking who the flavor of the week is. I just laugh them off. I have picked one flavor to stick with for life. And it’s a sugary sorority girl whose taste I’ll never get enough of.
“Potato croquette,” a voice breaks through the barrier of our tight social circle.
Most of the guys
grab one or two hors d’oeuvres, politely thanking the server. I choose to pass, barely paying any mind to the girl dressed in all black, but she doesn’t move from her spot on the floor. the spot she’s standing on the floor.
That’s when I turn my head and take a good look at her. Big eyes stare intently at me. I freeze, with all my colleagues hanging around, oblivious to the fact that my most recent case has caught up with me.
Mother. Fucker.
Ash is clearly shocked and confused. As she should be. I keep my cool, as she stares me down. Shaking my head covertly, I pray she receives the message. Don’t freak out.
Luckily, she doesn’t.
She does however flee the room like it just caught on fire.
My heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach. It feels like a stormy sea is tossing around the contents.
I want to go after her.
I will go after her. I just have to make sure it doesn’t look suspicious.
Of all the banquets in all of Virginia, she just had to be working mine.
Fuck.
After a few more agonizing minutes of bullshitting, I excuse myself, following the path Ash took just a short while ago.
I bust through the kitchen doors looking for her. All the waitstaff regards me funny, as they should. I’m completely out of place, but I don’t give one flying fuck. I need to find Ash.
“I’m looking for a server,” I announce. “Tall, thin, dark hair, pretty.”
One of chefs dressed in all white thumbs behind to a hallway.
I nod in thanks then hurry out of sight.
I feel all eyes boring into my back as I leave. Yeah, there’s going to some gossip going around.
Better behind closed doors than in a public setting. Especially when all my superiors are around.
I barrel through a service door and end up in a narrow alleyway with a line of dumpsters.
At first, I see no one, but as the door slowly shuts, Ash appears in my peripheral vision.
Her eyes are red and so is the tip of her nose. She’s been crying, and it kills me.
“Who the fuck are you?” She doesn’t pull one punch.
I take a step toward her and she recoils. It’s the last reaction I would ever want her to have.
“I was going to explain everything. Tonight.” I reach my hand out to her.
“You’re a cop? You lied about everything. Especially who you were.”
“I never lied about how I felt.”
“I feel...so fucking stupid.” She makes a disgusted face. “I slept with you. I trusted you.”
“You can still trust me.”
“Is Eli even your real name?”
“Yes,” I don’t hesitate to answer.
Ash reads my name tag aloud. “Officer Kirschner.” My true last name falls strangely from her lips.
“Eli Dexter Kirschner. Officer Eli Dexter Kirschner.” It sounds like a ridiculous introduction. “I was put on a case. My precinct caught wind of an online auction, and I went undercover to expose it.” I explain everything. Not exactly the way I had planned, but groveling is still on the agenda nonetheless.
“Oh my god. Are you going to arrest me?” Ash turns pale. “My sorority. All the girls,” she rambles nervously. “Our whole lives are going to be ruined.” She looks me dead in the eye.
“No one is getting arrested and no one’s life is getting ruined. I already wrote my report. The case is closed.” I want to put her mind at ease. “I would never hurt you. I love you.” Those words are a tour de force. Especially for me. I have never said them to anyone else. And I never plan to say them to another woman again.
Ash stands stiller than a statue, absorbing it all. I hover over her, dwarfing her feminine frame.
“I don’t know you.” Her lip quivers.
“You said you loved me,” I argue.
“I love Eli Dexter Livingston. Not Officer Kirschner.”
She just crushed me. “We’re the same person.” I take another step toward her and she wraps her arms around her waist, denying me. She doesn’t want me.
“I need to go.” She barrels past me, knocking her shoulder with mine.
“Ash,” I call out.
“I feel sick,” she whispers, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Ash,” I call again, sterner this time.
“Don’t fucking follow me.” She turns and runs down the alleyway.
I stand there like a fool.
No, not like a fool, I am a fool.
A fool to ever think my deception could end in anything other than disaster.
Chapter Seven
It’s been three agonizing weeks.
I miss Ash every single second. I’ve tried to let her go. Thrown myself into work, hung out at the local bar, flirted with a dozen and a half woman. But there’s no moving forward. My heart has chosen. My body has committed. And they don’t want anyone other than Ashley Mercedes Roe.
I’ve decided to make one last-ditch effort. One final gesture.
I want her to see me as I am. I want her to see that even though my clothes and last name are different, inside I’m still the same man. The same man she gave her virginity to, the same man she told she loved, the same man she chose to trust.
If nothing else, I’m trustworthy. I took an oath to be. And I want her to see that.
Outfitted once again in my dress blues, I make my way up the long walkway of the pale-yellow colonial house. Ash’s sorority house. It’s a monster of a structure. Three stories, tons of windows, and an impressive wrap-around porch.
The sun is setting, casting a magnificent glow on the property.
I take a deep breath as I climb the stairs and stride across the painted wood. Knocking on the massive white door, I wait. There seems to be some commotion on the other side as giggling and pattering of feet come through clearly.
A short blonde with tan skin appears. Looks like she either just came back from vacation or has had way too many sessions at the tanning salon.
“Can I help you, Officer?” I wonder if she knows who I am. I wonder if Ash told her sisters everything. If she does know who I am, she isn’t giving anything away.
“I’m looking for Ash.” I just say her first name. No more.
“Is she expecting you?”
“No.” I struggle to play it cool, putting all my training on the forefront.
“Come in, I’ll get her for you.” The girl moves to the side so I can enter. I stand awkwardly in the foyer surrounded by women in all adjoining rooms. Living and dining, and even some hanging out on the stairs. I’ve never been inside a sorority house, but I’ll admit the movies got it right.
Removing my hat, I nod at the ladies as I stand there like a big damn fool. The fool that I know I am.
The blonde runs up the stairs, disappearing within seconds.
I wait. And wait and wait. She’s not coming down. My pessimism breaks through.
The blonde re-appears, and my suspicions are correct. She’s alone.
“She said she’s washing her hair,” the girl announces, and the place erupts in laughter.
Dear god, this is my penance. The butt of the worst woman’s excuse known to man.
“Is she in the shower right now?”
“Ummm.” The girl bites her lip. We all know the deal here. That excuse is horseshit.
“If you don’t mind”—I take a step past her—“I’m going to go up.”
“Third door on the left.” The girl has no qualms about telling me which room is Ash’s. An instant respect forms.
“Thank you.” I climb the stairs two at a time. I’m not leaving until Ash hears me out.
I knock. “Ash.”
Nothing.
I knock again, harder this time. “Ash, please.” I ain’t too proud to beg at the mome
nt.
Still, nothing.
Groan.
“Ashley Mercedes Roe.” I bang this time. “Open up.”
The door flies open. “Seriously? You’re going to go all Bad Boys on me?” She crosses her arms, dressed adorably in sweatpants and a ruffled tank top.
I take my first real breath in weeks. Fuck, I missed her.
“I’ll handcuff you to the bed if I have to.”
“That may have been an option when you were Eli Dexter Livingston.”
“Officer Kirschner can act out that role so much better.” I step into her room without an invitation. I’m not leaving. Not until she forgives me. And I wasn’t kidding about handcuffing her to the bed either.
“Eli,” she protests, but I ignore her, slamming the door behind me.
“I’m not leaving, Ash. We need to work this out. Here, now, right this second. I’m going crazy without you.”
Ash sags a bit, and a tiny seed of hope sprouts. Maybe she’s going a little crazy without me, too.
“I don’t know who you are, Eli.”
“Yes, you do.” I seize her arms with both hands. “No one knows me better. The only thing that’s different is my occupation and my last name. Everything else is true. Everything.” I shake her lightly. I want to get through to her.
“You lied to me—”
“Because I had to. I wanted to tell you so many times. I didn’t want it to go as far as it did without you knowing the truth, but I couldn’t help myself. I can’t help myself when it comes to you. In a short time you’ve become everything.”
Her bold blue eyes widen. Trust me, I can’t believe what I’m saying either, but it’s the truth. She’s the gravity to my world.
“I feel stupid. I didn’t know. I fell in love—”
“With someone who doesn’t deserve you, but wants you more than anything else on earth.” I take the liberty of finishing her sentence.
“I want you, too.” That sounded painful to admit. Her ego is bruised, badly.
“So let’s start over. Right here, right now. I’ll do anything for one more chance.” I pin her against the wall, desperately. She’s so close to giving in I can almost taste it.
“How long have you been a cop?”
