“He hasn’t come out of his room since you left earlier,” Trent said. “The other kids said he is laying on his bed, curled up, and he won’t move. Are you sure this is a good idea, April?”
I nodded. “I have to try, Trent. Whatever happened between the two of them was the trigger for Beau. I have to find out.”
Natalie and Bex stood behind me at the door to the boys’ room. Johnny and Tanner hung out with the other kids, not wanting to overwhelm Robbie.
Trent nodded. “Okay. I trust you, April. Let me know if you need me.”
He walked away, leaving the three of us standing at the door. I took a deep breath. “We can do this. We can get through to Robbie and get him to help us.”
I pushed the door open, and the three of us stepped in. There were no other kids in here, per our request. Robbie was huddled up on his bed, his arms around the enormous stuffed dog we’d gotten him. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago now. I’d give anything to go back to this afternoon. I’d never seen Beau more carefree, riding around that track with Robbie. And Robbie had laughed . . . actually laughed as Beau whipped the car around the track.
I sat down on the edge of Robbie’s bed, fighting the tears that still threatened. Robbie looked up at me but said nothing. His eyes then scanned Bex and Natalie and then came back to me.
“Hi Robbie.” My voice wavered even though I tried to stop it. “You like your dog, huh? Trent tells me you haven’t moved since Beau and I left earlier.” My voice broke, and I cleared my throat. “Are you okay?”
Robbie’s big eyes blinked, but he said nothing. It wasn’t working. He wasn’t going to talk to me. I needed a new tactic. “Robbie, I need your help. Do you think you could help me?”
His eyes widened, but he said nothing. His fingers moved, and I saw the picture he always had in his hand. For the first time, I could see what it was. It was worn and faded, but it was a little Robbie wrapped around what must’ve been his mother. She was beautiful, with dark hair and bright eyes. It was too bad she’d chosen drugs over her child.
I cleared my throat. “Beau is sick, Robbie. He’s in the hospital.”
Robbie sat up, the dog falling to the side as his eyes met mine. That had gotten a reaction. “When my mom went to the hospital, she never came back,” he whispered.
“We need you to help us make Beau feel better.” I was encouraged that he had spoken to me. “Can you tell me what happened when you brought Beau into your room earlier?”
Robbie looked away and then down at the picture in his hand. “I showed him my room. I talked to him. He’s so nice. He just gets me. Th-then, I showed him my picture.”
“And he got upset?”
Robbie’s lip wobbled. “I-I thought he liked talking to me. He seemed like he was like me. B-but I made him upset. I don’t know what I did. I’m a bad boy. No one will ever love me.”
I glanced at the picture, wondering what about it might’ve bothered Beau. Was it the image of Robbie with his mother? Did that remind Beau of all of the hateful things his mother had said to him? That didn’t seem to be enough to send him into a tailspin.
“Robbie, Beau just got sick. You didn’t do anything wrong, but we need to try to help him feel better. Would you mind showing that picture to Natalie? She’s Beau’s sister and could maybe help figure it out.”
“He told me how to focus on something to stop being upset, but I made him upset. I didn’t mean to, April.”
“It’s not your fault, sweetie.”
Robbie handed me the photo, and I handed it to Natalie. She ran her finger along the worn edges and the faded center. “Who is this?”
“Me and my m-mom.” As he spoke, tears steadily dripped down Robbie’s cheeks. I wanted to take him into my arms, but I wasn’t sure how he would react to that.
“What’s your mom’s name?” Natalie knew his mom had passed away, which was why he was now here.
“Robyn,” he whispered. Natalie’s head snapped up, her eyes wide as her gaze vacillated between Robbie and the picture. Her eyes narrowed as she studied the faded image.
“And your dad?”
The child shook his head. “I don’t know. My mom said we were coming here to find him, but she never told me his name.”
“You aren’t from here?” Natalie was on to something; I could tell.
“We lived in Miami mostly.”
“So your mom, Robyn, said you were coming here to find your dad.” Robbie nodded.
I wanted to ask what was happening, but I was afraid. Bex didn’t seem to know, either, so we had to wait for Natalie to enlighten us.
“And she never told you anything about him?”
His lip wobbled again. “N-no. She’d never talk about him. Right before we came here, she told me I was going to meet him. Sh-she died before I could find out who he is. Now I’m stuck with a dad out there somewhere that doesn’t know I’m alive.”
Natalie blew out a breath and stood, pacing in front of the small bed. “Beau saw this picture?”
“I showed him,” Robbie said. “It made him upset.”
Natalie’s eyes turned back to me. She nodded, handing the photo back to Robbie. “Thank you for letting me see your picture, Robbie.”
The boy took the picture from her. “What did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything.” I reached out and touched his arm. He didn’t pull back, so I put my arm around his shoulders. “Beau doesn’t feel good right now, but we’re all going to make him feel better.”
“He scared me.” Robbie broke his gaze from mine. “I liked him.”
“Don’t be scared,” I said. “You know how sometimes people get upset and just have to take a break?”
Robbie nodded his head. “I told Beau I get upset and can’t control what I do. He told me to try to focus on something else when I get like that. But then it happened to him, and I didn’t know what to tell him to focus on to feel better.”
Bex gasped and turned to Natalie. She nodded once, and I wanted to scream. What did they know that I didn’t? What the hell happened?
“Can I visit you tomorrow?” Natalie asked. “While Beau is sick, I’d like to spend time with you.”
Robbie shrugged. “I don’t know if he’ll want to see me again.”
Natalie covered her mouth for a moment. I saw her throat working and her eyes filled with tears. “Yes, he will, Robbie. We all will. Is that okay with you?”
“Yes.” He grabbed his dog again and squeezed it.
“Don’t worry, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong. Hey—do you like to draw?” I asked.
“I love to draw.”
“I’m going to have Trent give you some paper and crayons. Will you make get well cards for Beau? I know it’ll make him feel much better.”
Natalie had her head turned, tears streaming down her face. Bex typed furiously on her phone; I assumed to Johnny in the other room. They knew whatever it was, and I needed to know. Right. Now.
“Sure, April.”
“We will see you tomorrow.” Natalie ruffled Robbie’s hair. “Hey—is your first name Robbie or is that a nickname?”
“My name is Robbie. Robbie Oliver Jensen.”
A small noise came from Natalie again, but she masked it with a cough. “That’s a great name. Thanks for talking to us. You’ve helped a lot.”
With that, Natalie left the room quickly, Bex right on her heels. I followed until we reached the kitchen when Natalie abruptly stopped and turned back to us.
“What is it?” I couldn’t wait one more second for them to tell me what was going on.
“Robbie is Beau’s son,” Natalie said. I sucked in a breath at her words. He was what? “I can’t believe it.”
They could’ve grown three heads, and I would’ve been less shocked. “What?”
Natalie nodded. “That picture of Robbie and his mom, that woman was Beau’s one and only . . . girlfriend. He looks just like him. I can’t believe I never realized this before now.”
“How the . . . ?” My m
ind reeled with what she had said. Robbie was Beau’s son? How in the world had that happened? Well, I mean, I knew how it happened but . . .
Oh, my God, that’s what Robyn was doing here. She came here to find Beau, to tell him about Robbie. But why had she been here, in Orlando, instead of his hometown? Had she come here because she knew where the band was playing and she thought she’d drop the bomb on him then? That didn’t make sense. None of this made sense.
“This was definitely what sent him into a tailspin,” Natalie said. Bex nodded. My mouth opened and closed, but I couldn’t quite form any intelligible words.
“He was adamant, ever since we were kids, that he wasn’t ever going to be a father,” Natalie explained.
“W-why?”
“Because of our family history with mental illness. He never wanted a child to have to deal with what he has had to deal with. I tried to talk him out of it for years, but he did it anyway.”
“Talk him out of what?” I had no idea what they were talking about. She and Bex exchanged another look. “What? Tell me!”
“He got a vasectomy years ago,” Natalie said.
My head throbbed, and I reached up and rubbed my temples. “He did what?”
“Let him tell you that.” Natalie reached for my hand. “I just wanted you to understand how mind blowing this is for him to find out. That’s how serious he was about not having children. So today, to find out that this little boy who’s had a rough childhood like him is his child, that Robyn kept it from him all these years . . .”
“Plus Robbie told him he had trouble controlling himself,” I added.
Bex nodded, wiping tears from under her eyes. “He’s wrecked.”
“This is why he tried to end it,” I said. “He couldn’t deal with this.”
Natalie sighed. “He’s going to need a lot of support to come around to this.” She stopped, trying but failing to keep the emotion from leaking from her eyes. “That’s our flesh and blood in there.” Natalie pointed to the bedrooms. “I can’t leave him here. He’s my nephew.”
Bex wrapped her arms around Natalie and I followed. We stood in the kitchen, sobbing on each other’s shoulders.
“I want custody of him,” Natalie said. “I’ll take care of him until Beau can. He can’t stay in foster care anymore.”
“I’ll get an emergency hearing as soon as I can.” I stepped back and wiped my eyes. “We’ll need to do blood tests to confirm Beau is his father.”
“I can’t believe this day.” Bex shook her head. “Is this the smartest thing to do right now? When Beau gets out, he’s going to need stability and understanding. Is having Robbie what’s best?”
Natalie’s eyes flashed. “I cannot leave that boy here in this group home, where he feels no connection to anyone. Like it or not, Robbie is part of this family now. Beau will handle it because we will all help him.”
Johnny and Tanner stepped into the kitchen, and we filled them in on what we had learned.
“We’ll take him if you can’t,” Johnny said to Natalie. “Just make it happen, April. Get him out of this house and into the hands of his family. Beau and Robbie need us equally now.”
Beau
I BLINKED OPEN my eyes, my head pounding as the light hit my pupils. Where the hell was I, and what had happened to make my head pound? My throat was so dry. I licked my cracked lips, wondering how long I’d been sleeping.
I turned my head, taking in the stark white walls and the absence of much of anything else. A nondescript television sat flat against the wall, and flimsy drapes barely contained the sunshine pouring through the window. I lifted my arms to rub where my head pounded when I realized I couldn’t move. My eyes snapped to my wrists, bound to the side of the bed. One of them was in a fucking cast. A cast? How the hell was I supposed to drum with a cast on my motherfucking hand? I tried to lift my feet and found the same problem. I was held down by restraints. What the fuck?
You’re a fucking monster, just like him, the voices screamed in my head. This is what you deserve. To be locked up like the animal you are. What did you think, that you were going to have a psycho’s blood running through you and not become just like him? You deserve to die. I hate you. I can’t even stand looking at you.
My chest heaved, and I pulled at the restraints. Hell no, I wasn’t being locked up like some fucking animal again. Flashes of me standing in the middle of the road popped into my memory. What the . . . ? What had I done? All of a sudden, I saw water rushing toward me and screams from behind me. April’s face filled my mind, and I groaned. What was the last thing I remembered? Riding go-karts with April . . . and Robbie. I furrowed my brow. Something was nagging me, a memory that wouldn’t quite come to the surface. Was it about April or Robbie?
Holy fucking shit. How long had I been here? Where was everyone? I’d done something wrong, which is what got me into the psych ward of the hospital. I fought to remember, but only little bits and pieces came to me. I needed someone to give me answers, and right fucking now.
I jerked at the restraints, wincing at the pain my body was in. When I couldn’t get free, I began shouting. Someone needed to tell me what I was doing here.
Before long, the door swung open, and a doctor and nurse came in. “Finally,” I complained.
The doctor walked up to the side of my bed, making notes on a chart.
“What am I doing here?”
The nurse and the doctor exchanged a knowing glance. “Why don’t you tell me what you remember.”
I hated this fucking game. It was a shrink’s way of getting you to talk. “Stop the shit and tell me. How long have I been here?”
He flipped the chart closed. “You were brought in yesterday.”
“What? I’ve been out of it for a whole day? What the hell? What happened to my hand? Can you take these damn restraints off me?”
“Sorry, Beau, we can’t take them off yet. Now that you’re awake, though, we can start your therapy sessions.”
“Therapy? I’ll see my shrink at home. I need to get the hell out of here. My sister will be wondering where I am.” Natalie. She would be sick with worry.
“Your sister is here. She’s in the waiting room.”
“What? Am I at home?”
“You’re in Orlando,” the nurse answered. “Your sister has been here since right after they brought you in.”
“What happened?” My anger dissipated. I was terrified of hearing the answer, but I needed to know.
“We’ll let your sister know you’re awake, but you won’t be able to see her yet.”
“Why not?”
“I’m Dr. Viola, and I’m the attending psychiatrist. I and my colleague, Dr. Grant, will be conducting your therapy while you’re in our inpatient program. Once we feel you are stable enough to see your sister and your girlfriend, we will let you know.”
Stable enough? I wasn’t stable? Well, no shit. That must be why I was bound to my bed. My girlfriend. My girlfriend? April was here? I closed my eyes. Oh, God. What had I done in front of her? What did she know? And after what she must know now, why was she still here?
“My girlfriend is here?”
Dr. Viola nodded. “She came in with you, from what I know.”
“Fuck.”
“I’ll be back.” He turned and walked out the door.
For the second time in my life, I had been committed to a mental institution. This time, though, I didn’t remember what had gotten me here. I closed my eyes, searching my muddled brain for any information I could remember. Embarrassment flamed as I realized what Dr. Viola had said. April had been with me when I’d come in.
My mind started the video reel of what I remembered. April and I were making love and deciding to try a relationship together. I came to Orlando to spend time with her and Robbie. At the thought of him, a nagging started in the back of my head again. Something had to do with him, but it wouldn’t come to me. We’d taken him to ride go karts. It had been my first time, and it had been more fun than I
could’ve ever imagined, being there with him and April.
We’d taken him back to the group home after that. She’d been so happy; her face had been radiant. I remembered admiring her beautiful skin as she drove, wondering how the hell I’d gotten so lucky to have a woman like April interested in me.
Nothing else would come. “Goddammit!” I shouted to the empty room. I wasn’t allowed to see my sister, and they wouldn’t fill in the blanks for me. I slammed my head into the pillow, feeling the sting of tears behind my eyes. A memory of my head hitting water caused me to still, waiting to see if more would come.
When nothing came, I closed my eyes, hating myself. You’re a monster, Beau Oliver.
“If I remove these, you have to promise to be cooperative.” Dr. Viola hesitated at my restraints.
“I will,” I said. It must’ve been hours since the last time I’d woken up because it was dark outside. What the hell kind of shit did they have me on that would make me sleep like that?
Dr. Viola studied me for a second and then removed the restraints first from my feet, then moved up to my hands. I sat up and stretched, feeling much better already. A nurse stood silently at the foot of my bed, watching.
“Your sister bought you clothes if you’d rather change out of that.” I glanced down at the white shirt and pants and groaned. Yeah. I seemed like the textbook case of crazy.
“Yes. Thank you.”
Dr. Viola handed me a pair of jeans and a Henley. “Go to the bathroom and leave the door open. I’ll be here waiting for you.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I can’t even take a piss alone?”
He shook his head at me. “No. Not yet.”
What the hell did he think I was going to do in there? I sighed, not caring enough to argue, and went into the adjoining restroom. I changed, leaving my jeans unbuttoned since it was impossible to do the simplest things with a broken right hand, and I sure as hell wasn’t asking the doctor to button them. I splashed water on my face, which was also difficult to do with one hand. I sighed. This fucking sucks. Why had I been such a moron to break my hand? Lifting my gaze to the mirror, I noticed I had bruising on my face, and my short beard had grown out. I needed to trim that up before l looked like a lumberjack.
Snared (Jaded Regret #1) Page 17
