“Two minutes,” she said. I watched as she leaned over the sink in the bathroom, checking her eye makeup. My breath caught in my throat as I caught sight of her. She was mine. It still shocked me I was living this life. If someone had told me a year ago this would be where I was, about to do the scariest thing in my life, I would’ve said no way.
Her dark hair was down and straightened, reaching almost her mid back. She was wearing a modest black dress and pearls. My dick stirred as I thought of having her while wearing just those pearls. Heels made her sexy legs seem longer. I glanced down at myself. I had on a dark pair of jeans, boots, and my signature Henley. I wondered if I should’ve dressed up a little more, but then she’d know something was up. I was already acting funny, and I knew it.
Robbie skidded into the room, dressed almost identical to me. I laughed. “Well, look at you!”
He grinned. “Do I look like you, Dad?”
“You sure do! That’s awesome! Hey . . .” I lowered my voice. “Are you ready for tonight?”
Robbie shifted his gaze to the bathroom, where April was now applying lipstick. I got distracted watching her paint those full, beautiful lips, thinking of them wrapped around my . . .
“Yes,” Robbie said in a whisper. “It’s our secret, right, Dad?”
“That’s right. Just ours. Now if we could get your mom out of here, we won’t be late.”
“Mom!” Robbie called. “We gotta go!”
“I’m ready!” April said. She grabbed a small purse from the dresser, and her eyes met mine. I loved having her here. Seeing her makeup on my counter and her clothes in my closet fulfilled me like I never thought it would. She wrapped her fingers in mine and smiled at me, her eyes showing me what her words couldn’t say with a child in the room.
“Aren’t you handsome.” She kissed me lightly as not to mess up her lipstick. Hell, I’d gladly walk into the center wearing her lipstick. “So are you, Little Beau,” she said to Robbie.
“You’re beautiful, too, Mom,” Robbie said. Damn, that kid was smooth. He was always telling April how pretty she was. He had skills already, and he wasn’t even ten years old.
“What he said.” I tickled Robbie’s side. “Don’t be trying to take my woman.”
He shook his head. “I’m not, Dad. But she is pretty.”
“The prettiest damn woman I’ve ever seen.” I placed my hand on her back and leading them all to the car. This was it.
April flitted around the room, making sure everything was in place for the grand opening. This had become her baby, and she was so proud of how it had turned out. They’d found a fantastic place for it. It had once been a small assisted living home, but it had gone into foreclosure. Jaded Regret had bought the building and had it cleaned and fixed up over the last two months. Now it had an enormous rec space with a large screen for watching movies, an entirely separate area that was soundproofed for playing music, a kitchen with cafeteria-like seating, and an immense outdoor living space, pool included. Basketball courts were out back behind the pool. It also had a few rooms Bex had already decided would be used for on-site counseling. It would be the hottest hangout space this area had ever seen, and it was all to keep the teens who were growing up in the foster care system off the streets and in a place where they could be safe.
They would get music lessons for free. We would teach them when we were in town, and if we weren’t here, we had hired wonderful people to fill in for us. The place would be run by a staff April had employed, with her at the helm. If she was on tour with us—because I wanted her with me at all times—then her second in command would step in. They had a great plan, and I couldn’t wait to see it.
We wouldn’t have teens here tonight. We would have people invited only by us. They were local people who had supported us and helped not only us become successful, but this center become a reality. April’s parents were coming from Orlando, but she didn’t know that yet. All our new employees were also going to be here with their families.
It would be a tight knit group of people who were important in our lives, and that was the way we wanted it. Especially for what I had planned. We would play to begin the night and then again to conclude the night. That was the moment I was impatiently waiting for, but I knew I had to allow April the time she needed to be in her element.
The way she moved through the room, Robbie on her heels, warmed my heart. Once he’d learned about April’s mom being a foster kid also, as well as Bex, he’d wanted nothing more than to work with them and help them get this place together, and he’d been here with her almost every day. He was a great kid. While school was important, the life lessons he would learn here could take him further than any knowledge he got from a book.
“Let’s get set up.” Bex walked up next to me. “You okay?”
“Great.” I followed her into the large room adjoining the one we were standing in. We’d had our equipment set up the way we liked it, so it was ready. I gazed around the large space that had been remodeled. All types of instruments sat on shelves and in cabinets, waiting to be used.
Tanner was already there, warming up. Johnny followed after Bex and me and we all got to work, preparing to play in just minutes. I stared, not touching my drumsticks.
“Hey,” Bex said. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m just nervous,” I explained.
She smiled. “Don’t be nervous. That woman loves you with every fiber of her being. And Robbie.”
I nodded, picking up my drumsticks and tapping them a few times. I was ready. I could do this.
Once Natalie escorted everyone into the room, Bex introduced them, and we played a few songs. April and Robbie watched me the entire time. He was a quick study and was learning fast. He wanted to try the guitar next, and I couldn’t wait to see which instrument he chose—if any. I would never pressure him to be anything he didn’t want to be. Whatever his dreams were, I’d support them.
Dinner was a blur. I was barely conscious of April sitting next to me and Robbie next to her. Bex kept kicking me under the table, but I couldn’t seem to fake it. I was freaking out. I was nervous as hell. I was waiting for the voice of my mother to pop into my head, so it made me uneasy. She’d been way too quiet lately.
The food was fantastic, but I could barely eat. Bex and April had the event catered from one of the Italian restaurants in town. They had donated all the food once they’d heard what we were doing. It was amazing the number of people that genuinely wanted to help.
“I need to do some tours,” April said into my ear. “Are you okay? Do you want to come with me or stay here?”
I needed to go with her, to show her I was okay. I wasn’t good at faking. I needed this night to be over, so I knew one way or another where my life was headed. Sitting here might drive me out of my mind, however. I stood, pasting a smile on my face.
“Let’s do some tours.”
Despite my nerves being shot, it was time. I was ready. We took the makeshift stage, April front and center. Robbie was at her side, ready to come up when I motioned for him. The band all watched me, waiting for my cue to start. I had to do this. I could do this. It had been my idea, after all. No one was holding a gun to my head and saying I needed to do it this way.
I saw April’s parents toward the back. They’d been a little late, but they were here. After the shock had worn off that her parents were there to see her, I’d seen the pride in their eyes when April had taken them around and showed them what she’d be doing here. And when her dad had shaken my hand and smiled like he knew exactly what they were doing here, I swear I almost threw up.
Johnny and Bex started with a slow guitar chord progression, both of them looking at one another as they played with the slide guitar. Tanner was playing the pedal steel. We didn’t use it during our regular sets, but Bex had gotten one from Beats, so he was using it for this song. I had chosen a song that wasn’t ours, but I wished it was. One of my favorite bands was Staind, and they had this song called “Tan
gled Up in You” that spoke to exactly how I felt about April. I wasn’t needed for this song, so me sitting behind my drums was purely for looks until it was my turn to come out.
Johnny’s voice started the song. The low, gravelly sound reverberated around the room as he began the lyrics. Bex joined in after a few chords and the two of them belted out the song that shredded my heart to pieces. Not because it was sad, but because it explained everything to her. I watched her. At first, her eyes were on Bex and Johnny as they sang, but once she heard the lyrics, her eyes shifted to mine. When they got to the part that talked about the “hand to hold as I grow old,” I stood. My hands were sweaty as I put the drumsticks down on my seat and stepped around my drum kit. April watched me as I walked to the middle of the makeshift stage, Bex and Johnny’s voices surrounding me. Robbie beamed as I indicated for him to come up.
April’s mouth dropped, and a buzz started in the room as Robbie came up next to me on the stage. He walked over to Tanner and played a few notes on the pedal steel that he’d practiced with him. April’s eyes widened as she saw Robbie playing.
I waited for the point in the song when I’d ask April to come up onto the stage with me. When they approached the part I was waiting for, about hoping it never ends and wanting it forever, I walked to the edge of the stage and held out my hand for April. She took my hand and came up next to me, her expression one of apprehension and confusion. She’d know soon enough what I wanted from her. All I could hope and pray now was that she was ready for it.
As Bex and Johnny reached the chorus, the song winding down, I took her hands in mine and began to mouth the words to her. I wasn’t a singer, and I wouldn’t want to overshadow the powerfulness of this song by distracting from what they were doing. But I wanted her to hear the lyrics—really hear them. I meant every word of this song. She was my lifeline, my medicine, my light in the darkness. Every part of her was tangled with me, and I wanted it to stay that way. I never wanted to be without her again.
As the song wound down, I licked my lips nervously. My throat was dry, and I felt like I’d swallowed rocks with my dinner. But I had to push that all aside and tell her exactly what I wanted her to know.
The crowd clapped and hollered, but they got under control quickly as they realized whatever they saw onstage wasn’t over yet. I cleared my throat. I hated talking in front of people. I caught Natalie’s eyes, and she had her hands over her mouth, obviously figuring out what I was doing. I was glad I hadn’t told her. Robbie came up next to me, his debut of playing now complete.
“April,” I said, my voice shaking. “I wish I would’ve written this song because I could’ve written it for you. From the second I saw you, you’ve had me tangled up over you. I never thought I deserved you, and I still don’t. But that’s neither here nor there because I love you. You’ve been there for me at my lowest, and I want you to be there at my highest. You love my son like he’s your own, and you make me feel like I can do anything.” I watched as Robbie took the small pouch out of his pants. Yes, I had entrusted my nine-year-old with the ring. He was less nervous than me.
Her eyes zeroed in on the ring Robbie placed in my hand. “Apr—Mom,” Robbie said. “I never had two parents before. I love both you guys, and I want us to be a real family. Will you marry my dad?”
When the words crossed his lips, I dropped to one knee, holding the ring between my fingers. April took her hands and covered her mouth, a small squeak of surprise coming before she began crying. The crowd gasped and then awed, waiting for her response.
“April Knight, will you be my wife? Will you grow old with me?”
The soft chords of the song started again as Bex and Johnny began playing softly. April’s eyes shifted to them, out at her parents in the crowd, and then back to us. My stomach was in knots wondering what in the hell she was thinking.
“Yes,” she whispered. “YES!”
I stood, grabbing Robbie and both of us held on to her like she was the last life preserver we had. Well, maybe she was. I slid the ring on her finger to deafening applause and cat calls.
“I love you,” she cried against my chest. “I love both of you. This is the best day of my life.”
Robbie and I exchanged a glance. “Us too.” I kissed my fiancée while our guests continued to cheer. I knew Natalie was probably sobbing and possibly Bex, too. Years ago, I would’ve said no, but now it was probable. Johnny was probably holding her, remembering his proposal. Tanner was more than likely shaking his head that he was now the only single one in the band, but happy he’d get all the ladies for sure now. I couldn’t worry about any of them. I had everything, right here in my arms. I’d thought love would never be in the cards for me, and that banging my drums would have to be enough to fulfill me.
I’d allowed life to snare me into believing I wasn’t worth anything and was incapable of loving anyone. I’d met my son because of April, and the two of them had shown me life doesn’t have to hold you down or keep you trapped under years of self-imposed lockdown. I couldn’t imagine my life without either one of them now, and now I knew I wouldn’t ever have to be alone again.
Love was a snare I would gladly choose over, over, and over again.
THE END
One Year Later
I WALKED INTO the darkness, searching for April. She’d come in here to change an hour ago and hadn’t come back out. I’d been in Robbie’s bedroom playing with him before bed and hadn’t noticed she wasn’t back out in the living room.
I was trying to be quiet but, of course, I stubbed my toe against something. “Shit.” I stopped for a second to bite my lip against the pain. It was probably something Robbie had left out. At least I hadn’t stepped on a damn Lego. That was enough to send you screaming into next week. He was passed out from all the excitement of today. At almost eleven years old, he was my absolute pride and joy. We’d taken him everywhere with us for the last year, including another tour across the United States that took us from home for three months, and being with him twenty-four seven was awesome. He loved playing the guitar and keyboard and was tearing up lessons. He was a natural, and it helped him with stress, just like me. With regular therapy sessions and a lot of talking, he was doing well and was as normal as any ten-year-old boy could be. We’d watch him as he got older, but with the stability of having a family, he’d been able to stay medication free.
My eyes adjusted and I spotted her, curled up on the bed. I walked closer and settled myself on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb either of them. I watched as both of their chests rose and fell with slumber. I knew my wife was exhausted, but she refused to admit it. We were alike in more ways than we might have originally thought.
I reached out and stroked my daughter’s face. She was so angelic, laying next to her mommy. She had dark hair like both April and me and blue eyes, though we’d heard that they could change. When April had wanted to name her Olivia after my middle name, I’d hesitated. Robbie had my middle name, even though I never knew Robyn had known it. Would my daughter want to be named after me, too? In the end, April got her way and Olivia Lucia Anderson was named after me and April’s sister, Lucia. She’d been born three days ago, and we’d brought her home today.
April had officially adopted Robbie just months after we got married. After I had proposed the night the center opened, we put together a small ceremony within weeks and got married. There wasn’t any reason for a huge affair, and we hadn’t wanted to wait. Right after that, we’d gone back on tour.
My sister had bought her own house after April and I got married. She was a wonderful aunt to Robbie but still hadn’t moved on from living her whole life to manage Jaded Regret. While we needed her, it was time for Natalie to have her own life, too. She no longer had to worry about babysitting her little brother all the time.
Being married to April was beyond my wildest dreams and expectations. She was the most caring, selfless person I’d ever known in my life. While living on the road for three months was a hard
thing to endure, we’d made the most of it and bonded as a family.
When we’d returned from tour, April had gone right back to working at the center like she did the whole time we were home. It was then that she met Lindsey, a young teen who was new to the center. She’d been in foster care almost her whole life and was about to turn eighteen and be on her own. Bex and April had been working on getting her into Bex’s subsidized housing for kids who were about to age out when she’d come to April saying she was pregnant.
She’d wanted to get an abortion.
April had given her a better idea.
I’d never forget the day April came home and broached the subject of us having another child in our home. April knew I didn’t want any more biologically and the conversation about me having a reversal had never been brought up since April respected my feelings. But when she told me about Lindsey, I’d gotten that same stir I felt when I saw Robbie. We had the chance to raise a baby together without me having to worry about the implications of one with my DNA. I’d had no further episodes since the one over a year ago, and I wanted to keep it that way.
Lindsey had given birth to Olivia three days ago. The night she went into labor, she was at our house, where she’d been a lot over the last nine months. We loved her and wanted what was best for her. We’d told her she could be as much a part of Olivia’s life as she wanted, but we wondered if we would see her again, despite how close she and April had become during this whole process.
Olivia stirred, and I lifted her from the bed, settling her in my arms. She squirmed and then stilled, pursing her lips in her dreams. April had stayed with Lindsey every moment in the hospital. It had been touch and go there for a while since April wasn’t sure if Lindsey would change her mind once she saw her daughter. But if anything, she’d been more resolved than ever to give her to us. She was in no position to be a parent and knew Olivia would be better off with us.
Snared (Jaded Regret #1) Page 26
