by Kirk, Cindy
His laptop sat on the table and, because it was there, Beck powered it up and opened his e-mail account.
The first e-mail he saw was the one containing the latest Open Door newsletter. Beck’s finger poised above the key to delete the tabloid rag when he remembered this was a special issue.
According to Katie Ruth, the December 23 release always included information on events occurring in Good Hope on the twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth. She’d heard about him keeping Muddy Boots open on Christmas and had inquired if he wanted that mentioned in the newsletter.
Beck clicked on the file, pleased to see she’d gotten the information correct. Actually, as he scrolled down, he found the newsletter jam-packed with useful information. He stopped scrolling when he saw Ami’s name. The title of the article was “It Could Happen to You.”
He thought back but couldn’t recall Ami ever mentioning that she’d written an article. Of course, she knew he wasn’t a fan of the newsletter. Not that he didn’t think Katie Ruth was a nice person, and editorially, she did a fine job. But in his mind, the gossip portion of her newsletter tainted the rest.
It only took a few sentences to grab him and make him want to read more. The article was timely, focusing on the dangers of drinking and driving and the importance of having a designated driver.
He read the entire article. Ami pulled no punches regarding her role in the accident that had injured her friend. The bull’s-eye was clearly that a single reckless action could have lifelong implications.
The well-written piece was short but powerful. While Lindsay’s forgiveness was but a scant sentence in the article, Beck knew it was that forgiveness that had helped Ami heal and begin to move past that night. The fact that she couldn’t get behind the wheel of a vehicle showed her journey was still a work in progress.
Beck surged to his feet, unable to sit any longer. Needing to rid his head, his house, of clutter, he scooped papers from the counter and opened the trash can with his foot. As the hydraulic lid slowly opened, he noticed a pale yellow envelope peeking out of the stack of flyers.
His stomach clenched, then released. He’d withheld forgiveness as a way to punish Nina and honor Lisette and their son.
But how did holding on to anger honor his wife, a woman who’d dedicated her life to healing? He thought of Nina. If her letters were to be believed, she’d turned her life around. Staying sober, speaking to groups about the dangers of drinking and driving. In a way, she was doing more to honor Lisette’s memory than he was in holding on to rage.
It was time to make some changes.
With a hand that shook, Beck slipped the phone from his pocket and called a familiar name from his contact list. The man was a private investigator he’d often used in his law practice.
“James.” The man’s booming voice reminded Beck of Floyd Lawson. “It’s good to hear from you. Last I heard you moved up north.”
After a couple of minutes of polite conversation, Beck got to the point. “I need a cell number. Nina Holbrook. Spelled just as it sounds. She lives in Athens.”
“Holbrook.” The man paused. “Isn’t she the woman who—”
“Yes,” Beck confirmed. “Will finding the number take long?”
“Fifteen minutes, if that.”
“Text it to me.”
“Will do.”
Beck pocketed the phone.
Needing a distraction, his gaze shifted once again to the present wrapped in paper covered in dancing reindeer with shiny red noses. Classic Ami. Whimsical and happy. God, how he missed her.
In seconds, the bow and paper littered the counter. He opened the box with an urgency one might use to open a suitcase full of money. But there were no stacks of hundred-dollar bills inside this box, just a crystal star the size of his hand, its sharp points jutting out in all directions.
According to the attached tag, it was a sun catcher. He held the star up to the window. The crystal prisms immediately caught the rays of the rising sun, scattering rainbows of light through the room.
While it was pretty, a sun catcher seemed an odd, almost impersonal gift. Then he recalled what Ami had said when she’d placed the golden star at the top of the tree.
A star signifies home.
With great care, Beck placed the star back in the padded box and shut the lid. He would hang the gift in the window once Ami was living under the rafters.
Because one thing he knew for certain, without her beside him, his house would never be a home.
Late that afternoon, after calling Joe Lyle with the good news that a resolution to his case was in sight, Beck made the short jaunt to Blooms Bake Shop. To his chagrin, Hadley informed him he’d just missed Ami.
Not dissuaded, he went back home for his car and headed to the bluff overlooking the bay. The trip to her father’s neighborhood took less than ten minutes. Beck stopped short of the house when he spotted Steve and his grandsons at a ball field a half mile from the house.
Despite the chill in the air, they’d obviously been there awhile, if all the balls, bats, and gloves were any indication. The boys were red cheeked but dressed comfortably for a sunny day in the midforties.
Each of the twins had his arms full with baseball equipment. By the way they were dragging their feet, it appeared each ball, bat, and glove weighed a ton.
“Beckett. Didn’t expect to see you.” While his greeting may have been less than enthusiastic, Steve’s expression gave nothing away.
“Do you have a minute?”
“The boys and I were getting ready to head home.” He jerked his head toward the twins.
“Not home. You promised we could play on the equipment,” the one in the red hat whined, apparently overhearing his grandfather’s comment.
“Yeah, you promised,” echoed the boy in the blue hat.
“They’re like elephants . . .” Steve shook his head but he grinned. “Put the stuff nicely—don’t throw it—in the back of the pickup. If you do that, you can have ten minutes at the park.”
The boys cheered and hurried to the truck. Seconds later they raced side by side to the play area.
Beck waited.
Steve gestured with his head to a nearby bench with a good view of the play area. Once they were seated, the older man shot Beck a speculative look.
It appeared the proverbial ball was now in his court.
He met Steve’s gaze head-on. “I plan to ask your daughter to marry me. I’d like your blessing.”
“No.”
For a second Beck thought he’d misheard. But the look in Steve’s eyes told him there had been no misunderstanding.
He sat back, stunned. “No?”
“I watched you last night.” A muscle in Steve’s jaw jumped. “Just when Ami needed you most, you walked out the door and left her there to fend for herself.”
“What Eliza said came as a complete shock to me. It brought back a lot of bad memories.” Beck didn’t want to make excuses, but he wanted her father to understand. “I didn’t know what to think, much less what to say to Ami.”
“You don’t desert the woman you love . . . ever.” Steve leaned forward and pinned Beck with a steely gaze that belied his mild manner. “Not for any reason.”
Knowing her father didn’t have all the information, Beck opened his mouth to explain further. But the older man didn’t give him the chance.
“Do you think it was easy for me to sit beside my wife, the mother of my children, the woman I’d loved since she was sixteen, and listen to the doctor tell her she had only weeks to live?” Steve’s hazel eyes flashed. “I didn’t know what to say, what to feel, but I loved her. And I knew I wasn’t the only one hurting. If you’re a man, you suck it up and support the woman you love. You do whatever necessary to get through difficult times. What you don’t ever do is walk away.”
Beck closed his eyes briefly, swallowed his pride along with the desire to defend himself. “You’re right.”
“Ami’s a gem.” Abruptly Steve rose to his feet.
Seconds later a shrill whistle pierced the air. When the boys spun around, he motioned to them, then turned back to Beck. “She deserves a husband who will be there for her, good times and bad. She deserves a man who won’t let anything—or anyone—stop them from being together. Do I make myself clear?”
A warning and a challenge simmered in those hazel eyes.
Beck nodded, knowing he’d received the blessing he’d sought. The rest would be up to him.
The joy of the holiday season wrapped around Ami like a pretty ribbon. Only two days until Christmas and she was in a warm, fragrant kitchen surrounded by those she loved, doing what she enjoyed most—baking.
Yet her delight was tempered with melancholy. It was as if a critical ingredient in a recipe had been left out. Unlike the lavender cookies, Ami knew exactly what was missing . . . Beck.
Trying not to think of him had proved an impossible task. So she let the image of those dark brown eyes simmering with passion dance before her while she stirred sugar, butter, egg, and vanilla in a saucepan for tonight’s bread pudding.
Nearby, Marigold rolled peanut butter in cornflakes for the balls that were her favorite. She heard Prim humming as she placed the M&M’s in the “belly buttons” her boys loved.
Ami leaned over, snatched one of the buttons off the waxed paper. You didn’t have to be a six-year-old boy to love a sweet treat made out of pretzels, Hershey’s chocolate Kisses, and M&M’s.
Fin had taken a call about some crisis in the office. Ami surmised the conversation hadn’t gone well when her sister returned with a scowl on her face.
“Is everything okay?” Ami kept her tone light.
“At the moment, ‘Take this job and shove it’ seems an appropriate response to that question.”
At Ami’s concerned glance, Fin smiled. “I’m kidding. Just another minor crisis with a high-profile client. All is good.”
“I wish I could say the same about my job.” Prim popped the last M&M’s into the chocolate Kiss and sighed. “Rumor is there’s going to be another wave of layoffs where I work after the first of the year.”
Marigold’s blond brows pulled together. “Any chance you’ll be out?”
“I don’t think so.” Prim’s confident tone may have satisfied the other two, but Ami saw the worry in her eyes. “I hope not.”
“I realize you love Milwaukee.” Ami rested a hand on her sister’s shoulder. “But remember you always have a place here.”
“I sense a group hug coming on.” Marigold’s droll tone had Ami setting down her stirring spoon and moving close.
Fin rolled her eyes but obligingly closed the circle.
A “power of four” hug ended up being just what Ami needed on this brisk December afternoon.
“Is there room for one more in that hug?”
Ami stiffened. She stepped back from the sisterly embrace to regard Beck. “Who let you in?”
She wondered why she sounded cross when she was so wholly glad to see him.
“I let myself,” he said sheepishly. “The door was unlocked.”
Fin shot him a pointed look. “You could have knocked. Or, I don’t know, rang the bell.”
Prim chuckled before turning back to the belly buttons.
“I wasn’t sure you’d let me in.” Beck’s dark gaze remained firmly focused on Ami. “Can we talk?”
Even as he saw her hesitation, he kept his gaze fixed on hers. “Please.”
He didn’t know what to think when she turned to her sisters.
“Your call.” Prim spoke gently in a barely audible tone.
Marigold moved to Ami’s side and touched her shoulder. “We’ll support you, whatever you decide.”
Fin also voiced her support before shooting Beck a withering glance.
Ami turned and studied his face for a long moment, her gaze searching his.
Even as sweat trickled down his spine, he willed her to see the love that was in his heart.
Finally, she turned back to her sisters. “Can one of you finish up the bread pudding?”
Fin lifted the stirring spoon from Ami’s hand and stepped to the stove. “I’ve got this covered.”
“Thank you.” Ami gave Fin’s shoulder a squeeze, then motioned to Beck. “We can talk in the living room.”
She sat on the sofa, taking a seat at the far end. She wore a simple green Henley, worn jeans, and UGGs. Her hair was pulled back from her face with two clips. He thought she’d never looked lovelier.
Beck removed his coat and laid it across a chair, then sat at the other end of the sofa. When he opened his mouth to speak, she held up a hand.
“There’s a couple things I need to say first, that I want you to understand.” She met his gaze unblinkingly. “I planned to tell you after Christmas that I’d been drinking when I was in that accident. Not knowing how you’d react, I wanted to wait so I didn’t ruin your—or my—Christmas. I realize now that was a mistake.”
She folded her hands in her lap, which he took as his cue.
“I read your piece in the Open Door.” Beck rubbed his chin. “Writing that article took courage.”
Her eyes widened. He could see he’d surprised her.
“It’s not easy owning up to mistakes, much less making them public knowledge.”
Ami’s face remained solemn. “If just one person thinks before they drink and drive, perhaps something good can come out of my carelessness.”
“Your article certainly made me take a hard look at myself.” He cleared his throat, recalling his conversation earlier that day with Nina. “You were able to move on, while I’ve held on to my anger and pain as if it were a righteous shield. In the end, all that accomplished was keeping me stuck in the past.”
Ami put a hand on his arm. “You had a good reason—”
“I called Nina Holbrook this morning. I told her I forgave her. She broke down and cried in gratitude.” His eyes grew moist, remembering the woman’s response. “It was the right thing to do. I feel like I’ve turned a corner and now I can finally move forward with my life.”
“I’m happy for you, Beck.” Her green eyes filled with tears. “That took real courage.”
Ami began to rise, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her down beside him.
“I’m not finished.” His tone was low and urgent. “I was wrong to walk out on you last night.”
“You were shocked, disappointed.”
Despite the soft-spoken, understanding words, Beck could see her father hadn’t been the only one he’d disappointed.
“That’s no excuse.” His jaw jutted out. “A man doesn’t walk out on the woman he loves.”
Ami’s gaze turned questioning.
“I love you, Ami.” He smiled ruefully, wishing the pronouncement could have been uttered in a more romantic way. Taking her cold fingers, he warmed them between his hands. “I’m asking for your forgiveness for walking out yesterday. It won’t happen again.”
She pulled her hand away, her fingers fluttering to her neck. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Saying you love me would be a good start.”
Whatever response she’d been about to make was silenced by the twins bursting through the front door, yelling that they’d seen a werewolf on the side of the road with fangs and glowing yellow eyes.
Ami rose to her feet and sighed. She shook her head at her dad. “Didn’t I warn you not to tell the twins about the werewolf sightings in Jefferson County?”
“I think it was a big dog,” was all he said. “Or a bear.”
At the commotion, Ami’s sisters spilled into the living room and everyone began talking at once. Beck heard the words claws, dog face, and pointed ears more times than he cared to remember over the next couple of hours. He accepted an invitation to dinner and pronounced the bread pudding excellent.
With everyone around, there was no opportunity for him and Ami to speak privately. On the way home, Beck consoled himself with the fact she’d given him an extra helping of dessert.
/> That, coupled with a kiss at the door, gave him hope there might be a merry Christmas in his future, after all.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“You didn’t have to rush over here,” Fin told Ami the next day as she pulled the car into Beck’s driveway. “Just because he snaps his fingers doesn’t mean you have to jump. Tonight’s Christmas Eve. We’ve got dinner, church, and caroling in the town square. He needs to understand you’ve got a lot on your plate.”
Ami had been at her father’s house when she’d gotten Beck’s call. “He didn’t snap his fingers. He asked nicely. Besides, did you really think I wanted to hang around the house with Anita there?”
“Why do you think I offered to drive you?” Fin lifted a brow. “Five minutes around that woman and I-Need-a-Drink.”
“Make mine a double.” Ami laughed and reached for the door handle. “I’m sure Beck will drive me back to Dad’s house. If not, I’ll give you a call.”
Fin leaned over, grabbed her arm. “He had that look in his eyes last night.”
Ami cocked her head. “What look?”
“Just remember, if he wants you—and you decide you want him—make the guy do some groveling before you forgive him.”
Ami only smiled. She stood for a moment in the drive, gazing up at the massive house that seemed so familiar. The sudden feeling of returning home gripped her as she navigated the last step.
The door swung open before she had a chance to knock.
Beck stood in the doorway, looking incredibly sexy in all black. His hair was slightly damp at the edges, as if he’d just stepped out of the shower. And he smelled terrific. Had he known the spicy scent he’d put on was her favorite?
Desire curled low in her belly, but she forced a serene, Madonna-like smile. It was safer if he didn’t know how he affected her. She handed him her coat.
“Thanks for coming.”
“Thanks for inviting me.”
“You look lovely.” The gleam in his eyes put a different spin on the simple comment.
