by Tara Brown
“I feel like hell.”
“I ate. I’m sorry. I know it makes you a bit sick from the evil you take on too.”
He sighs, “No, that hasn’t ever really affected me much. I feel like death. Something else.”
I look back, “Constantine gave you blood.”
He grimaces, “That would be it. We can’t take in vampire blood.”
He looks like himself again. Clean and strong. His body is battered though. He has bruises everywhere. He passes me the soap, “So I crapped my pants, literally?”
I take the soap as he turns. My laugh stops. His back is whipped like he was on the cross. My mouth won’t close. I am stunned still. He looks back, “What?”
My eyes are filled with tears, “They whipped you, almost to death.”
He nods, “I know, that’s the last thing I remember. The whip. It was barbed I think.”
My jaw trembles, “Oh my God. Who would do this?”
He steps to me, smelling like soap. “Hey, I’m okay. It’s healing.”
I shake my head, “It’s so bad, Wyatt. It’s so bad.”
He pulls me into him. I close my eyes and wish it had been me. Why isn’t it ever me? Why does everyone else have to hurt?
He kisses the top of my head, “It’s not bad, it’ll heal. I heal fast and Constantine’s filth in my veins will make it heal even faster.”
I just let him hold me, not moving or speaking. We just stand there as the water pours down on us. I don’t even know what to do with it all. There is too much, too much pain and sin and knowledge. I am lost in my own life, which makes sense. It’s technically fives lives. Five lives of five women who barely made it past childhood.
I kiss his chest and leave the shower. I have to change and we have to go. I don’t want him coming. I want him to stay here with Stella, Michelle, and Mona.
I change and leave the room fast. He probably isn’t even out of the shower when I board the helicopter.
We lift off and I force myself not to look at the castle. Constantine smiles, “I’ll give you three guesses who is tired of flying.”
I laugh, “It’s hard traveling by jet, compared to being dragged about the ocean by the nixie.” I give him a blank stare, “I know you suffer every time you have to do it.”
He cocks an eyebrow, “How is he?”
“Good. He’ll be fine. Lucifer whipped him, tore the skin from his back. It’s ragged and bloody and looks like chunks were torn out.”
Constantine grimaces. I nod, “It’s bad.”
“As long as he’s up and about, he’ll be fine.”
I sigh as we land at a farm. I glance around, “Why are we here?”
He looks annoyed, “The bastards destroyed the private strip I always use.”
“Great. Nothing is going to be left, is it?”
“They are bent on wrecking it all. I seriously don’t understand God’s plan with this one.”
I shake my head, “I don’t think there is one.” I climb off of the plane. Gretel meets me on the dusty grass of the field the plane landed in, “Is he all right?”
I nod, “He’ll be fine.” I use Constantine’s words. I don’t know how he will. I will never forget being tortured. Ever.
She closes her eyes and takes a breath, like it’s her first in hours, “Oh, thank you God.”
I feel sick seeing her devotion, “You’re thanking him—it was me and Constantine that saved him.”
She opens her eyes, “You are his angel, you will learn to love him.”
I shake my head, “Don’t count on that.”
She gives me an evil glare, “I am counting on it. You will need that in the end.”
I walk past her, boarding the plane. Sarah runs to me, “Is he okay? The cell phones are down now. Nothing is working.”
I smile at her, “He’s going to be fine.”
She sighs, “Thank God.”
That’s going to get old fast.
I force my smile to stay on my lips, “Yes, isn’t he wonderful?” I take my seat. Constantine jumps aboard and runs to the pilot’s cabin. The door closes and we start off. He comes back and sits next to me. He relaxes into the seat, “The pilot just refueled, so we have a direct flight to Iran.”
I scowl, “What?”
He nods, “This is going to be interesting, let me tell you.”
“Can we fly into Iran?”
Gretel gives me a look, “If it exists still. The whole world is on fire.” She says it like I don’t know that.
I drum my fingers against the seat, “Anyone else think this is a particularly bad idea?”
Sarah raises her hand, “I don’t think it’s a very good idea.”
Constantine sighs, “You are immortal; at least her being wimpy about it makes sense, she’s almost human. She can actually die.”
I scowl, “My head can get separated from my body. I can die.”
His lip twitches but he doesn’t say anything else. He pulls a huge book out from the bag next to him, “We have five hours. I suggest you ask the dead to take you.”
I frown, “I can’t just ask.”
He gives me a look, “Since when?”
I close my eyes and I am gone.
I don’t know if I dream or not. I don’t know how long I am floating in the empty air with them, but suddenly I am awake. I sit up, gasping. The plane isn’t flying. I am alone on it. Why do they always leave me wherever we end up?
I unbuckle and get off. I see smoke as far as my eyes will go.
Constantine is standing and looking out at a desert strip of land. I see a burning farmhouse in the distance. He looks back and waves. I walk to him, “Where’s Gretel and Sarah?”
The heat and dust in the air are intense. I can’t help but squint when I look around. I shield my face. He smiles like he’s friggin’ Indiana Jones or some shit. “The Garden of Eden would have been here, in Menykh.”
I glance around, “Yeah, of course it was. Of course God would have the least lush place in the world called the Garden of Eden. Why not? He’s a funny guy. He’s ironic.”
Constantine sighs, “You don’t even believe in God.”
I shake my head, “I do not, no.”
He squints through the warm, dusty air and smoke, “They should be here any minute, really.”
“Where is Gretel?”
He nods, “Had to be difficult. She is off checking with her little facts to make sure the rivers are correct in placement, compared to the ancient biblical texts of Genesis. Some crap about four rivers.”
“Why did you let her come?”
He looks back at me, “I don’t know if you or she has to kill Lucifer. Her family has one purpose on this Earth, killing things like you and me. She brought a serious amount of weaponry; it’s in the jet. What did you bring? I brought that book. We aren’t killing him with a book, and I sure as hell am not drinking his blood.”
I look down at my chest, “We have weapons.”
He scowls, “The blades are not meant to come out.”
I know he thinks that, but I have a feeling the white-eyed man was on to something. To kill Lucifer and the four horsemen, I have to sacrifice. Love is all I have to kill off. What do I care, at this point, if I die?
God killed his son for the people. I will be forced to do the same, even though I am not God, and I will have no rewards. I stagger out into the sand, tired and weak. I am going to die, I have a feeling. ‘Course I always have that feeling lately.
I sit down on a small dune and wait for them all to come and kill me. I make that decision instantly. When Constantine asked what I brought, I realized all I have is my life to forfeit.
Ellie is furious with my choice, but I don’t want to pull a sword from my chest.
I would rather die than choose, it is that simple. The world is screwed whether I live or die. So what if I would rather die than choose? Who will know? What will be left? Some dust and some ash and some starving people who will forget the minute I am gone and their ow
n survival becomes more important.
“You ever think that maybe the prophecies were all right, and 2013 was going to be an unlucky year?”
I look back as Sarah stumbles over to me. She slumps into the sand next to me.
I nod, “Yup. I think they saw this and went ‘Damn, 13 is the worst number ever.’”
She laughs, “We are going to die and they don’t care.”
“I know. But think about it, we die here in Iran. Our friends don’t have to know. We are alone, four near strangers, in a desert. No one will be broken over it.”
She nudges me, “Wyatt will feel your death, all the way back in London. He will die inside the moment you do. You have to stop that from happening. You have a purpose.”
I look at her, “You think that?”
She nods, “He loves you. It’s stupid, you hardly know each other, but he does. I think in some weird, twisted way, he always has. I swear he knew about you when we were kids. The girl with the dark-brown hair and the grey eyes. I remember him talking about you like he knew you.”
I frown, “What?”
She smiles, “He’s a freak. We should have known he was half angel, always has been the over-the-top show off. Strongest, fastest, bravest, wittiest, smartest, most loved.”
“What about his sister?”
She shakes her head, “She’s Gretel’s pet. But the rest of the family always loved Wyatt best. Even my family loved him best. They were so excited we were supposed to marry.”
“You didn’t want to?”
She scowls, “No. I could never be you.”
I don’t have an answer to that. Constantine comes over so we change the subject. She asks, “What about Mona and that hot guy?”
“Gill, he’s a fae prince.”
“Was.”
I scowl, “What?”
She nods, “He can’t be fae now that he’s out. He’ll just be a regular immortal now. No more fae. Only fae are in the gates. ‘Course now that the gates are broken, who knows. Right?”
I nod, “It is odd they were just open like that. They never appeared—they were just there.”
She looks confused, “That’s odd. I don’t think I have ever heard of them just being open. How strange. I wonder why?”
I run the sand through my fingers, “I don’t know. It was odd. The whole thing. Wyatt turned out to be Lucifer, that’s how we knew Lucifer had him.”
She nods, “Peculiar.”
Constantine walks over, “Gretel isn’t back yet?”
Sarah shakes her head, “No.”
He gives me a look, “Well, the horsemen aren’t here either, obviously. I wonder if we have it wrong, and Gretel has it right somewhere else and she’s fighting them.”
I look at Sarah, “Where did you leave her?”
She points, “Back at a river bank.”
I get up and dust myself off. We walk towards the riverbank. Sarah says, “You know she was walking. She wasn’t just at a spot. She was moving and muttering.”
I sigh, “Can’t we just phone her?”
“The only time you ever mention using a cell phone and we can’t. They are all dead. No cell service.”
I laugh.
We all stand there for a minute. Something dawns on me, “I need to use the bathroom.” I turn and walk back to the jet. My stomach slowly sinks. Oh God, why her too?
I can’t believe I was so blind.
I get into the jet and close and lock the door. I rush to where Gretel has the weapons stored and grab my sword from the bag. Constantine must have told her to bring it. I stick daggers in their holders in my pants and grab a grenade. Gretel is clearly badass.
I find a bottle labeled holy water. I tap my chipped nail against it, is it possible?
I pull the label off and carry it to the door of the jet. I unlock it and open it.
Constantine is standing at the bottom of the stairs, “Why’d you lock it?”
I nod inside, “The dust.”
He rolls his eyes, “You are such a princess.”
We walk over to Sarah. She is looking around. I pull the top off of the water bottle and take a drink. The water tastes like mildew. I almost gag but I choke it down, knowing full well I will have diarrhea from this. I pour it on my face, moaning into it, “Oh, that feels good.” It doesn’t. It feels a little slimy ‘cause it’s been in here since Constantine was in short pants and had a heartbeat.
Sarah looks around impatiently. I wipe my face, “God, that felt nice.” I give her a look, “You want a little splash?”
She nods. I cap it and toss it at her. She pours it on her face. I see the steam instantly. She cries out.
“It’s holy water.”
Constantine moans, “Jesus. Why do these Van Helsings make it so easy on him?”
I pull my sword as Sarah starts to laugh. She shakes her red, burned face at me, “You are so easy, Rayne. Such a disappointment.”
I pull my sword, “I figured you out.”
She nods, “I knew it. The minute I made the gate comment, I knew you would wonder.”
I point the sword at her. She laughs, “What training have you had, child?”
I shake my head, “I don’t need training to kill you, that’s my job.”
She laughs harder, “You think you will just know how to use a sword? I am not your mother. She was always soft. I learned how to fight.”
I motion for her to come to me, “Then come and show me what you know, Father.”
It feels a little too ‘Luke Skywalker’, but I do it anyway. She walks to me, I fake feeble and let her grab my hand. When she tries to pull my sword, I let Ellie take over. She pushes her hand at Sarah, smacking her fist into her nose and kicks her feet out from under her. She goes down hard, not realizing I have more than my fair share of strengths. It is actually way more than my fair share though. I have five people in me.
Sarah kicks her leg out to trip me and I jump to the side. She is back up instantly and ready.
“You’re more limber than I imagined you would be.”
Constantine sighs, “Kill him or I will.”
She laughs, “Please, Basarab. We both know you don’t stand a chance against me.”
I charge her, she spins, grabbing my shirt and pulling me back. She grabs my sword and stabs it into Constantine. He moans, dropping to his knee. She elbows me in the face. I let her get extra close and pull a dagger from my pants. She smashes me in the face again, and I stab her in the heart. She coughs as I pull a second dagger and slit her throat. Her warm blood spills out onto my hands. She sounds like herself again as she dies.
Constantine gags and pulls the blade from his abdomen, “Possession, wow. He really has become the devil he was labeled.” He coughs and tosses the blade at me.
“We are in the wrong place, aren’t we?”
He nods, “It was she that convinced Gretel that the four rivers met here. Fuck!” He stalks into the desert, bleeding. I kneel at Sarah’s side, brushing my hand on her forehead. She blinks, staring at me and then her eyes look to the side. It is done. She is dead. I killed her.
I feel like adding her to a list of people I didn’t mean to kill. There are far more of them than I am comfortable with.
I get up and walk after Constantine, putting my blades back into my pants.
He is cussing up a storm when I get to the river where he is. I see her on the ground, looking off to the right just like Sarah was.
I don’t need to ask, I know she is dead.
He drops to his knees, “I always imagined it would be me.” He looks at me and I see a single tear rolling down his cheeks, “Or you. One of us deserved the right of killing her. Not Lucifer disguised as Sarah. That is not an honorable death.”
I scowl, “Are you crying ‘cause we never got to kill her?”
He sniffs, “I don’t cry and no.” He sighs, “I hate that she didn’t get the death she had earned.”
I raise my eyebrows, “You are getting weirder by the minute.”
He nods, “Let’s go. The pilot is probably dead.”
I realize I never even checked on him. When we get back to the plane, he is indeed alive and feisty. “We can’t fly with no radar. We could end up getting hit by something a lot bigger.”
Constantine leans in, “You will fly us to Northern Africa or I will kill you.”
The pilot sighs, “You asked me to never listen to you when you get like this. I’m trying to keep you safe.”
I look at him, “I hate flying, but I know that if we don’t fly there, we will probably die along with the rest of the world.”
He stares at me for a minute, “Fine.” He turns back to the cabin and slams the door.
Constantine closes the doors, “I really never expected to have so much respect for a human.”
I laugh, “You don’t use your juju on him?”
He shakes his head, “I did. I used it to make sure he would never let me use it on him again. I have a bad habit of being impatient and feisty.”
I laugh harder, “Maybe if you stopped jujuing everyone with your magical eyes, you would respect more people.”
He points at me, “You always were a smart ass.” His grin fades. He looks at me deeply, “You have chosen him, you need to let me go, when this is over.”
I shake my head, “I can’t choose.”
He laughs bitterly, “You never could.”
I scowl, “Did Wyatt and I know each other before?”
He swallows hard, “It wasn’t like it is this time. He was a boy. You met him as Ellie when he was a boy.”
I feel like I should remember that, “But…”
His eyes glisten and I know. He nods, “I should really cut back on the number of people I compel.”
I feel sick, “Oh God. You made me forget him?”
“He was a child, Ellie. A boy. You didn’t feel the way you thought you did about him. It was impossible to love him.”
A tear slips down my cheek, “But you knew I would. You knew I would love him one day.”
He clenches his jaw, “I am truly sorry.”
I don’t speak. He looks down, “I am truly sorry that I was never the right man for you.”
“He loved me, didn’t he? Even as a kid? He knew?” I shake my head, “How did you make him forget?”
