“Furthermore, Roger stresses that you must deal with the past or go on suffering. I think you have to recognize that, right off the bat. You have to make yourself understand that we are trying to address the deaths of your parents, the crash itself, and your resulting phobias and sorrows.”
CJ swallowed hard. Her face paled slightly. “You’re asking quite a bit,” she responded.
Brad’s serious expression softened. “I know I am. It may sound stupid, but there’s this image of the real Curtiss Jenny O’Sullivan that I see in my mind, and I’d very much like to get to know her. But only if you want it that way.”
CJ took in Brad’s words and sorted them into an acceptable form. “I want to know how you plan to do this. I want to know the details. That’s another of my demands.” Her words hit their mark, and now it was Brad’s turn to swallow hard.
“I thought we’d start with some books. You can come over here or I can come to your place. I have a great many books on flying, air shows, and…,” he paused, “your father.”
CJ steadied herself. “Go on.”
“Well, I figured we could read about different flight-related activities, then graduate up to videos, and eventually pull in more personal items.”
“Such as?” CJ questioned curiously.
“For starters, Cheryl tells me you have a storage unit filled with memorabilia. When you feel up to it, we could go through it. I also have some videotape that deals exclusively with your father’s career and in-cludes some family shots, as well.”
CJ could only nod. It all seemed overwhelming. “I’d rather we meet here,” she finally said. “My place seems too personal, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that. And we both know your house at the airfield is out of the question.”
“Meeting here is fine. But let’s keep it as informal and friendly as possible. We are friends, after all. No set appointments…just get-togethers.”
CJ smiled. “That does sound better.”
A couple of nights later, CJ sat beside Brad on the sofa.
“Did you have your people check out my financial status?” he asked, surprising CJ.
She nodded. “I did what you asked of me. Everything checked out, just like you said it would. My accountant, in fact, was very impressed. He kept going on and on about your portfolio. Maybe you two should spend some time together.”
Brad chuckled at her teasing mood. How he wished she could maintain that lightheartedness throughout the evening ahead.
“Do you feel more comfortable about spending time with me? Are you convinced that I’m not after your money?”
CJ smiled. “My accountant assured me I could only benefit by spending time with you. I think he’s hoping for trade secrets. Shall I play the spy?”
“Don’t invest in hotels,” Brad offered. “That’s the best advice I can give.”
Amusement lit up CJ’s eyes. “Yes, I can see how you’ve suffered.”
Brad rolled his eyes. “This is the longest I’ve stayed in one place. If it weren’t for you, I’d probably be in Vail or Telluride.”
“Do you have resorts there, as well?”
“Didn’t you check that out?” Brad questioned.
“Umm…,” CJ tried to remember what her accountant had told her. “I guess I remember something about it. It wasn’t all that important.” She stopped abruptly and apologized. “I’m sorry. That didn’t come out the way I meant it.”
“It’s all right, CJ. I don’t offend easily. Is there anything you’d like to know about me that your accountant didn’t find out?”
CJ leaned back against the plush couch and sighed. “Do you have brothers or sisters?”
“No.”
“Do you have a college education?”
“Yes. I have two bachelor degrees. One in business administration, the other in hotel management. And I have a master’s in public administration, as well.”
“What? No doctorate?” CJ teased.
“Give me time. I’m only thirty,” he said, feigning exasperation.
“Ah, now things are getting interesting. When is your birthday?”
“February 24,” he replied. “Yours?”
CJ grinned. “I’m the one who’s supposed to ask the questions.”
Brad leaned back and folded his arms. “We’re supposed to be friends. Can’t friends know when each other was born?”
CJ took pity on him. “July 17.”
“Been to college?”
“Yes.” CJ couldn’t help but grin at him. “Art history degree. Now there’s something that will take you far.”
Brad laughed. “Anything else?”
CJ sobered. “Are your parents still alive?”
Brad shook his head. “I lost them both when I was twenty-three.”
“How?” she questioned softly.
“My father suffered a massive heart attack. He died instantly.”
“What about your mother?” CJ forced herself to ask.
“I believe she died of a broken heart. She went downhill in a big way after Dad passed on. There was nothing I could do to comfort her. Within six months she was gone.”
“I’m sorry, Brad.” CJ’s voice held tenderness and compassion.
“They’re in heaven, and it’s not the end,” he said in a poignant way that CJ understood.
For several minutes, they sat in silence. Brad wanted CJ to have plenty of time to deal with the information, while CJ came face-to-face with another person’s tragedies.
“Are you ready to look at some books?” Brad finally asked.
CJ nodded. “Maybe you could tell me what you have planned.”
“I have a coffee-table book filled with beautiful photographs of airplanes. Some are in flight and some are on the ground. I thought for tonight, we could just look at the pictures and if you wanted to talk about anything, that’d be fine, too. If not, we’ll just enjoy each other’s company. Okay?”
CJ took a deep breath and looked at Brad. Enjoying his company wouldn’t be hard. Keeping her emotions under control would be the major battle. “All right,” she replied and forced herself to add, “let’s get started.”
eight
CJ found Brad’s patience could very nearly disarm her concerns and fears. He was gentle with his questions and always eased up when he felt that probing into the past was becoming too difficult for her to handle.
She finally agreed to attend a Bible study with him and enjoyed the event in a way she’d not expected. The people gathered at the church were mostly singles, and before the study began, Roger Prescott led the group in a discussion of their concerns and problems for that week.
CJ listened in earnest interest as one person after another relayed the frustrations they had endured. Some spoke of loneliness or fears of being alone. Others mentioned difficulties at work or pressures to settle down and marry. One woman spoke of the lingering illness of her mother and how hard it was to watch her die, little by little, each day. For the first time, CJ could see merit in a quick and painless death such as her parents had shared.
When everyone had voiced something, with the exception of CJ and Brad, Roger led the group in prayer and asked God to surround each person individually with His protection and to bless them each in a special way. CJ felt the prayer go straight to her soul, and she clung to each word as though it were prayed for her alone.
“If everyone will open their Bible,” Roger began, “we’ll get started. Last week we moved into the second chapter of
Ephesians. Does anyone recall something special about our study?”
One petite, dark-haired woman raised her hand. “I had never read this part of the Bible before, and I guess I was pretty amazed by the clarification that Satan really is at work on earth. I guess I knew from things I’d been told that Satan was genuine, but the idea of him working in those around me was a concept I couldn’t make real. That is, until we read that verse.”
Roger nodded. “Let’s all look again at the second chapter, verses one and tw
o. I’ll read out of the New International Version, so those of you who are following in another version, bear with me. ‘As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient.’ I guess we all recognize Satan in that passage. We can also see here that ‘the ways of this world’ are not God’s ways. Anyone else have something they want to share?”
The man seated beside CJ spoke up. “I liked the fact that verse six says we’ve already been raised up with Christ.”
“Good,” Roger agreed. “Verse six says, ‘And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus.’ We need to understand, folks, salvation began when we accepted Christ, and with salvation, eternity also begins for us as Christians. We don’t need to keep waiting for our eternal blessings. We can take possession of them now!”
CJ tried to take it all in. Not only had it been a long time since she’d given any real attention to the Scriptures, but she’d never experienced this kind of Bible study in her life. Sunday sessions of church had left a great deal unanswered, and it was easy to see why people were drawn to more in-depth readings of the Word. For CJ, it was like a feast of spiritual food, and she was nearly starved to death for it.
“If no one else wants to add anything, we’ll start tonight’s study with verse eight and read through to ten.” Roger waited for everyone to find their place, then continued. “‘For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.’ Who would like to comment on this section of Scripture?”
“I’d like to say, ‘Thank God!’” one man replied, and the group chuckled in unison before the man continued. “I’d be in a bad way if I had to get to heaven on my own.”
“We all would be,” Roger admitted. “Paul, the writer of this letter, above everyone else seemed to recognize this. He makes comments throughout his letters of how hard he tried to do the right thing, only to fail. If our salvation depended on whether or not we could tow the line and be perfect, as Christ is perfect, no one would make it into heaven. That’s not to say we don’t try to be like Christ.”
CJ was stunned. It was as if Roger’s words were aimed directly at her heart, yet this was a concern she’d shared with no one. Not even Cheryl or Brad.
Roger continued with CJ’s eyes fixed intently upon him. “Let’s break it down. We are saved by grace. What is grace?” Silence met the question and Roger did what he often did when this happened—he pulled out a dictionary.
“The closest definition I find here would be, ‘Divine love and protection bestowed freely upon mankind. A virtue or gift granted by God.’ We are saved by divine love and protection. We are saved through a gift God freely bestowed upon mankind. He didn’t offer it with the expectation that we should pay something in return. He didn’t offer it because of what we could do. He gave us salvation because He loves us.
“Now, look further at that verse,” Roger continued. “‘Through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.’ We just established that, didn’t we?” Several people murmured affirming words be-fore Roger continued. “Now we’ve gone over this before, but who can tell me what faith is?”
The woman whose mother was dying raised her hand. “Hebrews 11:1 says, ‘Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.’ Sometimes,” she admitted, “that verse is all that gets me through.”
“Exactly. Now, Paul knew there would be those do-gooders who would try to convince people otherwise. People who would proclaim that unless you performed sacrificial acts of worthiness and deeds of devoted worship, you would lose your salvation. He covers that neatly in verse nine when he says, ‘not by works, so that no one can boast.’
“We can’t work ourselves into heaven. However, God does expect us to live for Him, and in doing so, we find verse ten applies to how we are to go about it: ‘For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.’”
CJ reread the words until she knew them by heart. “Not by works!” Her pulse quickened. She’d always believed that she had to be good, do good, in order to get to heaven and see her parents again. Now, she was hearing and reading that this wasn’t the case. God expected her, as His child, to do good works that He had prepared for her, but not in order to earn her salvation.
The study continued, but CJ was lost in thought. She barely heard Roger announce that it was time to end in prayer. Everything seemed overwhelming.
On the ride home, Brad chanced a question. “Tell me about your brother.”
CJ flashed a bittersweet smile. “Curt is five years older than me. Even so, we were very close. He used to hang around with Cheryl and me and tease us unmercifully.”
Brad said nothing. He recognized the fragile web that CJ spun.
“Whenever we were on a circuit of air shows and his college breaks coincided with a performance,” CJ continued, “Curt would fly in and join us. Daddy always liked to have him along…said it made his job a whole lot easier. Our last performance was in Kansas. We finished up and had a really great meal of Chinese food with Cheryl and her dad. Curt had already gone back to college, and Cheryl was pining away for him.” CJ glanced up suddenly. “I don’t remember…did I tell you that Cheryl and my brother were engaged to be married?”
“No, but it sounds like you were all a close-knit family.”
CJ nodded. “We were, until the accident. Now, in the five years that have passed, I’ve managed to drive both Cheryl and Curt away.”
“What makes you think you had that responsibility?” Brad pulled into the parking lot of CJ’s apartment complex and shut off the engine.
“Curt left shortly after bringing me home to recuperate. I’m afraid I wasn’t a good patient. I insisted he move me to a new house. I couldn’t bear to be in the old one without my mom and dad. All the responsibilities of the funeral…” CJ felt her throat tighten. “I couldn’t even go to my parents’ funeral.
“My leg was shattered in the accident. Mangled might be a better word. I had to have fourteen separate pieces of debris surgically removed from my leg. Some were pieces of metal, others wood and fiberglass. The bone was broken in seven places, and the doctor wasn’t even sure he could save it. Curt flew in a team of the best orthopedic surgeons in the country and wouldn’t allow them to amputate. I had over three years of physical therapy, and I guess that only helped to make me more reclusive.”
“What about Cheryl and Curt? Did they marry?”
“No. Curt changed after the accident. He tried to keep it inside, but I knew he was just as devastated as I was. When the press and the FAA came to my hospital room, Curt was most protective. Everything was so stressful. He and Cheryl started fighting. She couldn’t understand why he’d shut her out. He couldn’t deal with her constant clinging and questions. After Curt managed to get me and the estate settled, he took off—without a word—for three weeks.”
“That must have frightened you a great deal,” Brad declared.
“It was all of my worst nightmares come true. All I had left was Cheryl, and she grew distant and eventually began to travel with her jetset friends. She’d get so upset with me and say, ‘You’ll have to fly again sometime, CJ; why not just come along with me to Rio or Paris?’”
CJ paused and grew even more introspective. “It really wasn’t Cheryl’s fault, though. She also had to deal with her father. He and Daddy were best friends. They even invested in the air show business together and started their own aviation company. In fact, when Daddy put together a performance team, Ben Fairchild put together an impressive ground crew, just to see to our needs.”
“‘Our needs’?” Brad questioned, si
tting up and leaning forward. “Do you mean you were a part of the performance team?”
CJ smiled. “You couldn’t be Doug O’Sullivan’ s daughter and not pilot a plane. I could handle a plane before I could ride a bicycle, even if I couldn’t fly legally by myself. I’m still not all that good at riding a bicycle.”
“And you performed in the air shows?” Brad was com- pletely taken aback.
“In whatever way I could. Daddy said a child behind the stick always brought in the crowd, and the crowd was everything to my father.” CJ closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them again, tears streamed down her cheeks. “Missing them just isn’t an adequate enough word.”
Brad patted the seat beside him and CJ automatically scooted closer. CJ allowed Brad to encircle her with his arms. “No words can fill the void it leaves behind when we say goodbye to someone we love. Just remember, CJ,” Brad whispered against her ear, “you’ve only said good-bye for a little while.”
CJ said nothing. She let the tears fall in a quiet state of mourning while Brad rocked her gently in his arms. It was a slow release of pain and sorrow, and only the first in many steps that would be necessary to free herself from the accident.
Days later, CJ found herself thinking back to that moment in Brad’s car. She hadn’t gotten sick from reliving some of the past, and that, to her, was one of the very best signs. She began to feel better about herself almost immediately.
After donning cream-colored slacks and a burgundy silk blouse, CJ hurriedly attached gold dangling hearts to her ears and took a final look in the mirror. Hating the way her hair looked, CJ grabbed her brush, swept her hair back from one side, and secured it with a barrette. Deciding the results were acceptable, she repeated the action with the other side.
She was going to spend the day with Brad, and for some reason, she felt like dressing up for him. She knew he’d stressed that they should be only friends but, in truth, part of her disliked the limitation. Maybe he’s not attracted to me, CJ thought. Maybe I should dress up more and really turn on the charm.
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