by Judith Keim
“But they’ll still look at it and read it.” My lips quivered. “I’d better get dressed. I have to tell Rhonda what happened. I owe her that, at least.”
“Look, Ann ...” Vaughn began.
I stopped him. “I’m too upset to talk about it anymore. I need time to think. And I need to get dressed.”
Vaughn stayed in the kitchen while I changed my clothes, and then he walked me over to The Beach House Hotel. I remained a half-step ahead of him as if I could disassociate myself from the photographs by staying away from him now. Foolish, but my whole thought process was in overdrive.
He went up to his room while I headed into the office. Rhonda looked up from her desk, took a second look, got up and closed the office door with a firm click.
“What’s the matter, Annie? You look awful.” She pulled a chair out. “Here, you’d better sit down.”
My throat thick, I lowered myself onto the edge of the chair, wondering where to begin. “Something terrible has happened,” I got out. “I think I’ve ruined The Beach House Hotel’s reputation!”
Rhonda’s face turned ashen as I told her the story.
When I finished, she leaned back in her chair and let out a sigh. “It can’t be that bad. I bet it doesn’t even hit the papers. Don’t worry, Annie, it’ll be all right.”
But even then, I knew it wouldn’t be.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
None of us had any idea what an instant sensation the picture would cause when it hit the New York papers and then the internet. The camera had caught me with my hands covering my nipples, but there was no mistaking the fact that I was cavorting half-naked in the pool with the handsome, well-known, sexy, soap opera star named Vaughn Sanders.
Neither Vaughn nor I realized that catching him with a woman for the first time after his wife’s death would be such big news, but apparently, it was a huge coup for Geno. The news spread fast. Every time I looked at the picture of us, my stomach whirled with humiliation. I was glad my grandmother wasn’t around to see it. If she were alive, it would destroy her. I couldn’t believe that some of the most famous movie stars had to live under this kind of duress all the time.
My last day with Vaughn was nothing like I’d once imagined. As much as I wanted to go back to the way we were, I couldn’t.
I invited Will and Rhonda to dinner at my house, thinking that would make things easier for Vaughn and me. I tried to have a good time, but I couldn’t get over the feeling I’d been raped by the press.
Rhonda cornered me in the kitchen. “Annie, you’ve got to get over this,” she whispered. “Don’t let it ruin your time with Vaughn. That would be crazy!”
“You don’t understand,” I told her. “I’m absolutely humiliated. You forget that I’m a very private person. Look what’s happened to me because I was with him. I didn’t realize that becoming the laughing stock of the nation would be part of the bargain. We were in the privacy of my own home!”
She wrapped her arms around me. “Oh, Annie. I’m so sorry. I really am.”
Vaughn waited until after Rhonda and Will left and then took me in his arms. “Let’s just forget about what happened.”
Emotionally frazzled, I stepped away from him. “I’m trying to, but right now, I can’t.”
He shook his head, and a long sigh came out of him. “Well, then, I’m going back to the hotel.”
Helpless to hide my feelings, I watched him leave, and then I dragged myself to bed.
I was startled out of a restless sleep by the ringing of the phone. Gasping with fright, I lifted the receiver, wondering if something had happened to Liz. “Hello?”
The sounds of partying in the background almost overrode the mocking voice on the phone. “Well, Ann, you proved my point. I was right all along. The picture of you proved it!”
My blood ran cold. “Who is this?”
A low laugh was the only reply before the caller hung up.
My skin felt as if ants were crawling all over it. I collapsed against the pillows and fought to calm my beating heart. An image of Brock Goodwin came to mind. I sat up, sure I was right. Tears of frustration rolled down my cheeks. No doubt he would now use this against Rhonda and me and the hotel.
I awoke with a headache, and, groggy and grumpy, made my way into the shower. Damn Brock! Of all the people who would make fun of me, I minded him most.
Dressed for the day, I went into the kitchen to make coffee. Extra strong, I decided, grinding the beans from Starbucks.
I’d just taken a sip of coffee when the phone rang again. Private caller. Wary, I picked it up.
“Ann, it’s Robert. And I’m not calling to wish you a Happy New Year! I’m calling to tell you I don’t want Liz staying with you anymore. I’ve become the laughing stock of Boston. Your half-naked picture plastered in the newspaper and on the internet was faxed and emailed to me from all over the country with remarks I won’t even repeat! There’s no way I want my daughter down there with you while you’re doing God knows what in the pool with some pansy soap opera star named Vaughn!”
“It wasn’t anything like that,” I protested. “I know what it looks like, but ...”
“May I speak to Liz? ”Robert said, interrupting me. “She’s not answering her cell.”
“Liz isn’t here.” My voice was as tight and controlled as I could make it. “She and Angela and a group of friends went over to South Beach to spend the rest of the holiday there.”
“South Beach?” shrieked Robert. “That place is full of all kinds of weird stuff. Why did you let her go there, for Chrissake? What’s the matter with you, Ann?”
Anger stiffened me. “Stop it, Robert! Nothing is the matter with me. I’m doing well—living life and loving it! So back the hell off! It’s not your concern anymore. When Liz returns from her trip, I’ll tell her you called. Goodbye!”
My hands shook as I clicked off the call. Thank God, Syd had emailed me to say a cashier’s check from Robert had been sent. I was certain in his present state of mind, Robert would have tried to use the photo of me as the latest excuse for not paying. No doubt he’d now use it as an excuse to renew his campaign to have Liz live with him. My stomach knotted at the thought. No man would ever have control over my life again.
I’d no sooner sat at the kitchen table than someone knocked at the front door. I peered through the side glass. At the sight of Vaughn, my heart leaped treacherously. I opened the door but held back when he bent to kiss me. I was so uncertain about where this relationship should be in my life.
Vaughn gave me a puzzled look. “How are you feeling?”
I shrugged, not wanting to drag him into my argument with Robert. “C’mon in. I’ve got fresh coffee on.”
“Are you feeling different about things today?” His dark eyes probed mine.
I shook my head. “I had an anonymous phone call during the night. I think I know who made it, but it wasn’t very pleasant.”
He took my hands. “And?”
“I’ve just had a very angry phone call from Robert. He’s convinced I’m living a hedonistic life of sin and not running a hotel. He says I’m a bad influence on Liz.” My lips quivered. “He’s going to try to keep her from staying with me.”
Vaughn frowned. “Are you sure it isn’t just talking on his part?”
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “Robert’s been trying to draw her away from me ever since she went away to school. He knows she’s the only child I have. I don’t want to lose her. I’ll fight him if I have to.”
Vaughn drew me closer and stared down at me. “Are you willing to fight for our relationship, Ann?”
Confused, I looked away. Time, I thought frantically; I need time to sort things out.
Vaughn let out a sigh. “Well, that says it all. Ann, look at me.”
The misery I felt was reflected in his eyes. “Tell me you don’t feel something special when we’re together. Tell me you want to walk away from this beginning and end it forever.”
I
stepped back. “You don’t understand. I’m a very private person. I can’t go about my life wondering who’s going to pop out of the bushes next. I love this hotel. Rhonda and I have worked so hard to make it a success; I can’t let it be destroyed. You have to help me,” I sobbed. “I don’t know what to do. If this hotel fails, it will be my fault. Don’t you see? I’ve let my emotions ruin my business.”
Vaughn’s mouth straightened into a thin, angry line. His dark eyes snapped with resentment, but he remained silent.
“Vaughn, I don’t know what I mean. I’m too upset. Please don’t ask me to be reasonable. Not now.”
He stiffened, and I knew I’d hurt him. “I have to leave soon. I’d better go back to the hotel to get ready. Goodbye, Ann.” I could hear the pain in his voice, but I felt helpless to do anything about it.
He turned on his heel and left me standing in the kitchen, immobilized by my conflicting feelings. Vaughn was the best man I’d ever met. But would the cost of loving him ruin all I’d worked for?
I sank into a kitchen chair, let out a wail, and sobbed.
###
At the time Liz was due back from South Beach, I left the hotel and walked over to my house to await her return. I thought a nice lunch together would help give me some perspective on my situation. As I was setting the table, Liz walked into our house, threw down her purse on the kitchen counter, and stormed into her room.
I followed her anxiously. “What’s wrong? Did you have a good time in South Beach? Is it as much fun as they say?”
She turned to me with narrowed eyes. “Not as much fun, apparently, as playing naked in the swimming pool with Vaughn Sanders. Mom! How could you? You’ve embarrassed me in front of all my friends!”
She was about to slam the door in my face, but I stopped her. “You’re not the only one who’s upset. Your father called this morning. He was furious. He feels I’m not a good example for you and that you shouldn’t be allowed to live with me. He was even more upset when I told him you’d gone to South Beach with your friends. He doesn’t like the idea of you being there where all sorts of weird things happen, according to him.”
“That’s ridiculous!” cried Liz. “I’m sick of hearing that kind of stuff from him. Some of the kids are talking about spending the summer in D.C., and I told them I’d go with them. That way, I’ll be on my own, and nobody will have to worry about where I live.”
Wishing things were different, feeling more uncertain about the future than ever, I watched my daughter struggle with her emotions. Everything I’d thought was in place had been blown apart.
“Take some time alone to think things over,” I said and left her to take a seat at the kitchen table. Sitting there, trembling at the thought of all I might lose, I decided my only recourse was to continue to work as hard as I could to keep the hotel afloat.
Disheartened, I said goodbye to Liz and went over to the hotel. In the office, I set to work on financial data for the year-end review with the auditors. The numbers, unlike the rest of my life, fell into order, requesting little from me in return.
Just before dark, Liz stuck her head into the office. “Can we talk?”
“Sure, sweetheart. What is it?” She looked as if she’d been crying.
She took a seat opposite me. “Mom? I called Dad and straightened him out on a few things.”
Surprised, I sat up straighter. “You did?”
She nodded. “I told him I have rights, too, and that it’s time for me to be more independent. I told him I wouldn’t be coming to live with him, that all Kandie was interested in was a live-in babysitter.” She smiled. “I said I was over-qualified for that job. And ... I told him to stop bugging you.”
“I bet he didn’t like that.” I studied the look of satisfaction on Liz’s face. There was a resoluteness there I hadn’t seen before.
“Yeah, Dad wasn’t happy with me, at all.” She gave me that impish grin of hers. “And wait until you hear this! I told him he should be proud of all you’d accomplished. The picture was cool from that point of view. You’re dealing with well-known people who’ve come to love the hotel. Besides, you didn’t look so bad. You know, for a woman your age. That’s how I’ve decided to handle this whole situation with my friends. I’m just going to say my mom’s pretty cool. I’m going on the offensive, not the defensive.”
Struggling to hold back tears, I rose to my feet and hugged her hard. “I love you, Liz, and I’m proud you’re mine.”
“Love you, too,” she murmured, and I let out a sigh of relief. No matter how much either Robert or I wanted to keep Liz a child, she was an independent woman who would have a life of her own.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Liz’s departure for school was especially hard for me. I felt so adrift, so vulnerable. I hadn’t heard from Vaughn, and I was too unsure of myself and what I wanted from him to call him.
Standing beside me at the airport, aware of my insecurity, Rhonda said, “Hang in there, Annie. We’re in this together, and it’s gonna be a ride.”
I did my best to smile. Rhonda was the best friend I’d ever had. Together, we waved at the airplane taking our girls away. The holidays had been traumatic for all of us.
Life at the hotel moved forward. As Syd had promised, Robert’s last check arrived. I studied it with a feeling of relief. I never wanted to have to ask Robert for another thing. My tie to him, except through Liz, was over. He’d turned into a man I didn’t know, understand, or like.
My thoughts flitted to the other men I’d let into my life recently. I’d once imagined Brock would be different from Robert but soon found out his ego was even larger than Robert’s. Vaughn, who had every right to be egotistical, was humble and easy to get along with— until the photo episode. Then, he didn’t understand the hotel was more than a business to me. It was my life—everything that represented the best of my abilities.
I couldn’t stop a long sigh from escaping. I might be learning a lot about the hotel business, but I was, apparently, ignorant when it came to men.
###
One evening in late January, Rhonda came over to my house and took a seat in my kitchen. She looked glum.
“What am I going to do, Annie? I’ve always thought a spring wedding was nice, but when I mentioned it to Will, he said no. After forcing him to change our original date because of Sal, I’m afraid to push him.” She twisted the diamond ring on her finger and looked up at me with sad eyes. “Maybe it’ll never happen. Maybe he’s changed his mind.”
My heart went out to her. “Oh, hon, I don’t think so. He sees how hectic things are and is probably wanting to wait until you have time to plan the wedding properly. He’s very considerate that way.” I hoped I was right. He’d break her heart if plans didn’t go forward.
“Ya think that’s it? Okay, maybe June would be a good time for a wedding.” She accepted the glass of wine I offered her. “It’s pretty weird when you’re working too hard to get married.”
“I know.” But we were busy with guests coming and going, especially now with a lot of cold weather up north. It was both exhilarating and exhausting.
“Here’s to us!” I said, lifting my glass to Rhonda.
“And to my wedding in June,” said Rhonda, smiling at me .
###
One morning, I was working alone in the office when the phone rang. I eagerly picked it up.
“How are you, Ann?” said Harry Morton, an old neighbor of mine. “Ruth and I were reading about The Beach House Hotel in a travel magazine. We’d like to come down for a few days. Can you give us a room?”
I hesitated. This was the eighth person in my old neighborhood to call in the last two weeks. Boston was in the throes of battling a bitter cold front from Canada, and people were desperate to get out of town.
“Hold on and let me check our reservations schedule.” I popped it up on the computer. “Harry? I have one room a week from now, for two nights. That would be Tuesday and Wednesday nights only. The rest of the time, we’re b
ooked. If you want those rooms, it’s $450 a night, $900 total. We’d need a deposit of $450 to hold the room.”
“Whoa! Wait a minute, sweetheart! It’s Harry and Ruth you’re talking to. After all the years we’ve known you, we thought you’d give us a room for a much better price than that.”
I bit my tongue. This was nothing new. Every acquaintance in the world now talked to me as if we were best friends. And Harry Morton was no friend of mine. One night after Robert left me, he came to the house to assure me that he was available if I got too lonely. I understood at the time that he’d had too much to drink, but I’d never felt the same about him again. I tried to push aside my personal feelings, to keep things on a pleasant, business-like basis.
“You know I can’t give rooms away, Harry,” I said, cajoling him. “It wouldn’t be fair to my business partner. I’m sure you understand. After all, you can’t give free accounting services to the neighborhood any more than I can give free rooms to them.”
“Yeah, okay. I can see that. Well, I guess for that price, Ruth better come up with a different idea—something cheaper. So, how are things going? Really? Anything I can do for you?”
I shuddered at his suggestive tone. “No, Harry. Say hello to Ruth for me. I’ve got to run.”
I hung up the phone, thinking about my life. Outside of work, I was lonely. I longed for male company but would do nothing to harm the reputation of the hotel. I knew very well that some of our guests were attracted to me, but I didn’t want to be considered part of the package. And though I’d found some of them appealing, I decided to play it straight, stay by myself. But, being with men, overhearing them talk, and flirting with them occasionally, I missed Vaughn so much it was a constant ache.
Rhonda walked into the office and handed me the daily newspaper. Her cheeks were flushed with anger. “Read this. That bastard Brock Goodwin has written a letter to the editor.”
