by Mac Flynn
Oliver glared at him. "Says who?"
"Says me." David swept him into his arms and carried the struggling waif into the bathroom. He dropped the young boy so Oliver landed in front of the toilet. David stepped back and shut the bathroom door. "Now don't come out until you're cleaner!"
Oliver jiggled the knob, but David held onto the other side. "Lemme out!"
"I could, but you're just going to see us smooching," David warned him.
The jiggling stopped. "Then let me out of these rooms!"
"You just stay nice and quiet in there for a few minutes and we'll tell you when we're done," David promised. David turned to me and led me to the opposite side of the suite.
I jerked my head towards the bathroom. "Was that-" He pressed a finger against my lips.
David lowered his voice so I could barely hear him. "Absolutely. I don't believe in coincidences, and it's no coincidence we're stuck with this kid."
I pushed away his finger and frowned. "So what are you saying? And what was that about smelling people earlier?"
"I didn't smell anyone around you when I saw you pushed," he revealed.
I arched an eyebrow. "Not even a phantom?"
He shook his head. "No, but I glimpsed an indent in your back where a hand pressed against your shirt. That tells me we're dealing with something otherworldly."
I grimaced. "And us without Cotio."
"I can reach him by phone and ask him about this. Meanwhile, you need to be very careful."
I snorted. "With some invisible thing you can't smell and nobody can see trying to kill me? You'd have to lock me in a padded cell."
He shook his head. "I wouldn't trust the pads, not with this curse."
I frowned. "So you think it's a curse?"
David shrugged. "It's my best guess, but Cotio will know more."
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Hopefully we learn that 'more' before I'm more or less dead."
David grasped my hands and looked me in the eyes. "I won't let anything else happen to you."
I smiled and squeezed his hands. "Good because I'd come back and haunt you and I'd guarantee even Doc couldn't exorcise me."
He chuckled. "I wouldn't want him to."
A small fist banged the bathroom door. "Are you two done being stupid?"
David looked past me at the bathroom door. "We are, but are you?"
"I ain't stupid!"
I snorted. "Well, I guess that proves it."
David strode over to the bathroom door and opened it. Oliver stumbled out and glared at him. "I'll sue you for kidnapping!"
"Then we'll be side-by-side receiving our punishment, my little stowaway," David quipped.
Oliver frowned and shuffled over to the center of the living room. "You think you're real smart, don't ya?"
David followed behind him with a smile on his lips. "I've been around the world a few times."
"So have I, so don't go thinking I don't know why ya shoved me in there!" Oliver snapped.
David folded his arms and studied the young boy. "So why did I shove you in there?"
Oliver jerked his head towards me. "You wanted to talk to her about something, and ya didn't want me overhearing it."
David chuckled. "You've pretty much got it right. But how about you set aside your paranoia for one second and take a look at this." David picked up a piece of paper and tossed it at Oliver.
The young boy looked down at the paper and back at David. "What's this?"
David strode over to the kitchen and took a soda from the fridge. "The room service food list. Our little adventure interrupted lunch, remember?"
Oliver held the paper close to his face and squinted his eyes. He pulled away and tossed the paper away. "I just want a hamburger."
I plucked the paper from the floor and glanced at the menu. "What kind of hamburger? They have a dozen styles."
He shrugged. "I don't know. What kinds they got?"
I held the paper out to him. "See for yourself."
He pursed his lips and turned his head away from me. "I can't."
I arched an eyebrow. "Why not?"
He shrank into himself. "Because I can't. . ."
"You can't what?" I persisted.
He whipped his head around to face me. "Because I can't read, okay?"
I blinked at him. "Not even English?"
"Are you stupid? I can't read nothing!" he snapped. He plopped himself on the couch and crossed his arms. "I don't need to read, anyway."
David and I glanced at each other. My mate cleared his throat. "Well, we'll order for you, and maybe when this is over we'll see to your education."
Oliver's narrowed eyes flickered to David. "What's that supposed to mean?"
David took the paper from me and studied the contents. "It means I want you to know how to read your own menu so we don't have to do it for you."
Oliver arched an eyebrow. "I ain't following."
David chuckled. "To put it bluntly, I'll see if I can't get you into a good school so you can learn to read. You might even learn to write."
Oliver's eyes widened and he blinked at David. "You'd. . .you'd really do that for me?"
David shrugged. "Why not?"
The young boy frowned. "You're just fooling me, ain't ya?"
David shook his head and tossed the paper onto the table. "Nope, but we can talk more about this after the cruise, and after lunch."
"And then?" I asked him.
He smiled. "Then you two will stay in the nice confines of these safe room while I do some sleuthing."
I marched over and stuck my face in his, or at least tried to. "Like hell you are. I'm going-" He pressed a finger against my lips. It was then I noticed the sad look in his eyes.
He slipped his finger off my lips and spoke in a soft whisper. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you, and I don't want to take that risk, not until I find out something that will help us."
I sighed and my shoulders slumped. "Fine, but don't do anything stupid without me, okay?"
He smiled and nodded. "Agreed."
"What about me?" Oliver piped up. He stood on the couch and glared at us. "Don't I get a say in this stuff?"
David and I glanced at one another and then back at Oliver. "No."
5
We all ordered hamburgers and ate. The rest of the afternoon was passed peacefully exploring the room and enjoying the bay view from the safe side of the sliding-glass door as the cruise ship sailed the calm waters. At early evening Oliver and I sat opposite each other in the living room when David swept into the room. He'd been missing for several hours and had a wide smile on his face.
"So have any luck on your sleuthing?" I asked him.
"I've set up some lifelines which I hope will bear fruit, but in the meantime why don't all three of us enjoy some more quality time."
I arched an eyebrow. "What did you have in mind?"
"By going to the theater," he suggested as he plopped himself down on the couch beside Oliver.
The young boy wrinkled his nose. "I ain't going to some stupid show."
"Good, because I'm not taking you to a show, I'm taking you to the theater," David corrected him.
I cringed. "Does that mean I have to go, too?"
David closed his eyes and shook his head as he clucked his tongue. "Is there no class in this suite but for me?"
I glared at him. "There's plenty of class, but of the lowly type which is why I want to stay here. Besides, what about earlier?"
"Awareness of the danger negates some of the risk, and I will be keeping a close eye on you," he promised. David gave me a sly smile as his eyes swept over me. "Besides, why would we want to ruin the opportunity for you to wear that beautiful dress I bought you?"
I arched an eyebrow. "What dress?"
He jerked his head towards the bedroom door. "It's on the bed. I had it delivered while we were out having our little adventure." His eyes fell on Oliver. "There's something for you, too."
The yo
ung boy sneered at him. "What'd I want with some clothes?"
David shrugged. "Probably very little, but I forgot to mention there's a surprise waiting in each of your attire."
Oliver and I glanced at each other. We both jumped from our seats and raced each other to the bedroom. Oliver got the door open, but I caught up to him. Our slim bodies got stuck in the doorway for a few seconds before we toppled onto the floor. We stumbled to the foot of the bed where our evening clothes, a white cocktail dress and a penguin suit, awaited us. Atop each one was a white envelope.
Oliver and I tore them open and our mouths dropped open. Inside was a ticket to the theater for that night's play.
I whipped my head to the doorway and watched David reach the bedroom door. I held up the ticket and glared at him. "This is a dirty trick."
David leaned against the door frame and grinned. "I thought it was quite clean myself."
"Definitely dirty," I insisted. I tossed the ticket onto the bed and paused for a moment before I turned back to David. "If you already had the tickets then what have you been doing?"
"Let's just say I've had some news from our good captain," he commented. He glanced at his watch. "But it looks like that will have to wait. Our play awaits, and if anyone wants to eat then I suggest you come with me." He turned away, but paused and glanced over his shoulder at us. That sly grin of his spread across his lips. "Oh, and I've instructed room service to ignore all pleas for food, just in case either of you had the idea of holding up in the suite." Oliver and my shoulders slumped and we glared at him. He chuckled and walked away. "Hurry now. The play starts in half an hour."
Oliver and I reluctantly slipped into out attire. I was the second to change, and as I slipped off my jeans something fluttered to the ground. I picked it up and cringed. It was the ticket to the magic show. The date on the card showed it was to be held tomorrow night. That was another show I'd be glad to miss. I tossed the ticket onto the bed and threw my jeans over the top.
In a few minutes I finished dressing and stepped out of the bedroom. David and Oliver stood on the opposite side of the room. I caught the tail-end of the low conversation with Oliver's part.
"And that's all I know."
"What's all you know?" I spoke up.
David whipped his head to me and smiled as he strode over to me. He clasped my hands in his and studied me. "You look lovely."
I looked past him at Oliver. The young boy stared at an interesting spot on the floor. My eyes flickered back to David. "What were you two talking about?"
He shook his head. "Nothing important. Let me change and we can go to the show."
David suited himself in a penguin outfit, and we set out on our way. David kept my arm locked in his firm hold as we traveled to the theater from earlier. A crowd of people similarly attired flowed into the open theater doors. I looked around for my smiling 'friend,' and was relieved to see no one.
Oliver scowled at all the fancy-dressed people. "Why are we hanging around with all these pansy people?" Several of the pansy people caught his words and sneered at the young boy.
David leaned towards our young charge, but kept his eyes on the sneering folk. "Don't upset the wildlife, son. They bite with gold teeth."
The people turned away and hurried through the open doors. David directed us to the balcony stairs and we took our seat at the front. Oliver sat on David's left while I occupied his right. People congregated in the aisles and around their seats as they chatted like so many sparrows.
The lights dimmed soon after we took our seats and the rest of the audience took theirs. The room dimmed but for the lights on the stage. I jumped when I felt a hand touch mine.
"It's only me," David whispered.
The curtains rose and we were presented with a picture of swashbucklers with their swords and pistols dueling.
I leaned towards him and lowered my voice to a whisper. "What are we watching?"
"The Three Musketeers," David answered.
I snorted. "Sounds classical."
He chuckled. "It's very lively."
"While these guys duel, mind telling me what you were up to this afternoon?" I asked him.
"After the performance," he promised.
There almost wasn't an after-the-performance for me. One of the lead actors, the portly one, pulled out his pistol and aimed at an enemy. The enemy grabbed his arm and turned the pistol towards the balcony. The pistol fired, but there wasn't the usual 'bang' of a fake discharge.
David tackled me to the floor a split second before the speeding bullet hit the back of my seat. The audience around us leapt from their chairs and sang out in a chorus of screams. Someone flipped the lights on. The lower audience joined them in a screaming frenzy as the manager of the play ran on stage.
He held his arms over his head and his booming voice rang over the audience. "Please remain calm! Please, ladies and gentlemen, remain in your seats and remain calm!"
Several ushers raced over to us just as David sat me up. His eyes held a yellow tinge in their depths as he clasped my shaking hands. "Are you okay?"
I nodded. "Y-yeah, I think so."
The manager of the theater knelt beside us. "Are either of you hurt?"
David shook his head. "No, we're fine, but what happened?"
The manager shook his head. "I can't say, but we'll find out." He glanced over his shoulder. Two of the ushers inspected my chair. "What happened?"
One of the ushers pulled a blunted object from the back. "It looks like a bullet, sir."
The manager stood and took the object. He turned it over and frowned. "What the hell was a real bullet doing in the prop gun?"
The usher shrugged. "I don't know."
The manager pushed through the ushers and marched down the stairs. David helped me to my feet and looked me over. "We need to find out what happened. Do you need me to carry you?"
I shook my head and gave him a small smile. "I don't think that'd be a good idea in this dress, so just lead the way."
David glanced at Oliver. His face was pale. "Did you want to stay here?"
Oliver shook his head. "N-no, I'll follow."
"Then don't fall behind." David wrapped his arms around me and held me against his side as he hurried through the crowds of audience members and ship employees.
We swept down the stairs and to the lower audience chamber. The actors congregated on stage and huddled in groups while the audience stood uneasily in front of their chairs. The theater manager disappeared behind the stage-left curtain. We followed and found him in a heated discussion with the play manager in the wings.
The theater manager nearly shoved the bullet up the other man's nose. "What the hell is this? Are you trying to get us sued?"
The man shoved the bullet away from his face and glared at his compatriot. "It was an accident! There weren't supposed to be any real bullets in the guns!"
"That doesn't fly in lawsuits!" the other man growled.
"Who loaded the guns?" David spoke up.
The play manager's eyes fell on us and he frowned. "No audience members are allowed backstage."
David nodded at me. "My wife here nearly became part of the play. The bullet hit her chair."
The color drained from the play manager's face. "S-she's not injured, is she?"
David shook his head. "No, but she could have been killed, now please answer my question."
The manager cleared his throat. "Well, the prop manager handles the equipment. She was supposed to load the guns with cheap gunpowder to cause smoke."
"And I did!" a voice spoke up. A woman marched out of the depths of the backstage and up to our little group. She put her hands on her hips and glared at the play manager. "Don't try to pin this one on me. I know I filled all those prop guns with powder. I don't even have access to bullets on this ship!"
"Did anyone else have access to the guns at any time?" David asked her.
She nodded. "For a few hours before the play. They were left on the prop table, and I
didn't have time to watch them every minute. Anyone could have gone up and put the bullet in the chamber."
"Mr. Leno!" a shrill voice called out. One of the actors from the play, another musketeer, rushed from the stage. He daintily held the gun in one hand and thrust it into the play manager's face. "This thing's loaded!"
Leno grabbed the pistol and glared at the man. "Then don't point it at anyone! And how do you know it's loaded?"
The actor pulled something from his pocket and opened his hand. A small bullet lay in his palm. "This dropped out when I pulled my gun from my waist! I could have been killed!"
"Were you supposed to fire your gun in the opening scene?" David questioned him.
The actor nodded. "Yes. Pleni-he plays Porthos-both of us were supposed to fire our guns."
David looked to Leno. "Was the foe supposed to block that shot as he did?"
The manager shook his head. "No. The actor was supposed to be shot, and the other actor was supposed to be shot, as well." He paused and his eyes widened. "You. . .you're not insinuating that these bullets were meant to hit the audience, do you?"
The whole scene was made more complicated when the captain and a few white-suited employees arrived. His eyes fell on us and he pursed his lips. "I was informed there was a disturbance in the theater. What's happened?"
The theater managed gestured to me. "This young woman was nearly hit by a stray bullet. It was an accident, of course-"
"I believe my questions have established that it was not an accident," David interrupted.
The manager glared at him. "I don't think so."
"Then you're not thinking," David quipped.
The captain held up his hand. "Gentlemen, I think that's enough." He turned to the play manager. "Can the play continue?"
The manager nodded. "Yes, sir."
"Then do so and remain here. Will everyone else directly involved please follow me to the nearest office where we can discuss this in private?"
6
It was the second time that day that I felt like we were being sent to the principal's office, but this time it wasn't so swank. The nearest office was a hole in the wall that barely fit our group made up of one orphan, a werewolf, two managers, the captain, and little ol' me. The tail was retold for the benefit of the captain with all the heart-stopping details of my close demise.
