by LuAnn McLane
She took a deep breath and let it out, her heart feeling lighter than it had felt in months. “Okay, Santa. I get the message. I’m a lucky woman.And I’m not ready for tomorrow. Not by a long shot.”
She jumped to her feet and grabbed her coat and keys. Soon she was on the road headed toward Fairbanks to do some shopping. She’d already decided what to get her guests at the inn. A photography shop in town carried beautiful Alaska photo albums. Hallie bought four . . . one for each of the individual Denman families.
With no new job in sight, it made sense to guard her savings account. But Christmas was about love and generosity and giving. The joy the Denmans had shared with her couldn’t be measured in dollars and cents. Though it wasn’t strictly necessary, she purchased inexpensive toys for all the little kids and iTunes gift cards for the older ones. For Timothy, she selected a restaurant gift certificate. Playing Santa was exhilarating and fun.
That left only Daniel. What did you get a man you met two weeks ago? She didn’t even know what his hobbies were. Between his job and the inn and the time the two of them had spent in bed, there was still a lot they didn’t know about each other. And then it dawned on her.
With her backseat loaded with packages, including two rolls of Christmas paper and tape and bows, and with the precious daylight waning rapidly, she headed for home. She had a lot of wrapping to do.
Daniel sat at his desk late on Christmas Eve and doodled a dancing elf on the edge of his notepad. The post was quiet tonight, everyone tucked in for the holiday. He wanted badly to be at the inn with Hallie and all the Denmans, but as a single man, he couldn’t deprive a young dad of the chance to tuck his kids in bed on the most important night of the year.
His second-in-command had a two-year-old, so when the little boy was asleep, the other man was going to relieve Daniel. And one of the other single men had offered to cover the holiday tomorrow.
Daniel brooded as the hours passed slowly. Hallie was going to fly home tomorrow, and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. He had a gut feeling that if he didn’t get her to admit she loved him before she left, he’d never see her again.
And it hurt. He was convinced she loved him. At least a little. But she was so damned focused on figuring out the future, she wasn’t able to see the gift that life had dropped in their laps.
He and Hallie were made for each other. He knew it. And he had one last shot this evening at convincing her.
They were a perfect match in bed. Despite the string of nights they had spent together, his body ached for her all over again. She was hot as hell between the sheets. For the first time in his life, he could imagine waking up to the same face year after year.The thought was comforting.
Hallie was his, damn it.
He glared at the clock as it ticked away the final precious hours of Hallie’s stay in Alaska. What was going on at the inn? Was Hallie in a good mood? Did she miss him?
Glumly, he pulled up a required report on the computer and started filling in statistics. He was stuck for the moment. Might as well get some work done....
Hallie stared at the mound of presents under the tree and grinned. Dinner was now nothing more than a fond memory. They had all devoured enough calories in one sitting to make a grizzly bear comatose. And even though there was a huge plate tucked away in the refrigerator for Daniel, she wished he had been there to be part of the fun.
The kids were riding a sugar high, and the kitchen was a shambles. Hallie had planned to clean everything up while the Denmans had their family time around the tree, but surprisingly, the four fathers, plus Timothy, had declared the kitchen a “no female” zone and were now elbow deep in dishwater and dirty pots and pans.
Robbie and the other three moms were going through one last checklist to make sure all the presents were in place.They’d had to do some creative shopping to guarantee nothing was too big to ship home, but even so, Hallie was pretty sure there were going to be some overage charges on heavy suitcases.
Hallie was preparing to slip down the hall to go to her room when Robbie grabbed her arm.
The older woman grinned. “Where do you think you’re going?”
Hallie shrugged, feeling awkward. “This is family time. I don’t want to intrude.”
“Bull crap. You’re not running out on this circus, honey. You’re an honorary Denman.... We all voted.”
Robbie was kind enough to ignore the two tears that wet Hallie’s cheeks.
Hallie cleared her throat. “Thank you for including me, Robbie.”
Timothy was tapped to play Santa. There was a strict system in place for the distribution of gifts. The children each received one present first to take the edge off their excitement. Then the women opened a package.
Hallie was taken aback when a large, beautifully wrapped box was placed in her lap. Everyone paused in the mad frenzy of paper ripping, and suddenly all eyes were focused on Hallie. She felt herself blush. “What’s this?”
Robbie, standing behind the sofa, brushed her hand over Hallie’s head in a maternal caress. “All four families went in together to get you something special.You’ve made these two weeks really wonderful, Hallie.You have an extraordinary gift for hospitality. And we all really appreciate what you’ve done for us.”
Timothy grinned, his face looking more like a kid’s than an adult’s at the moment. “Open it, Hallie.”
She loosened the tape and carefully folded the paper to a chorus of disapproving groans.When she lifted the lid from the box, she caught her breath.
Inside was a lightweight, extremely luxurious cashmere robe in soft gray. She lifted it free of the thick tissue and held it to her cheek. “It’s lovely,” she said softly. “Thank you all.”
Stanley patted her knee. “You’re one of us now. Don’t you forget it.”
They were all kind enough to divert their attention from a choked-up Hallie as “Santa” continued handing out gifts.
When it came time for all the Denmans to open Hallie’s presents, she could tell from their expressions that they were genuinely pleased. And the kids crawled in her lap for kisses and hugs.
Despite the festivities, Hallie couldn’t help but wish Daniel were there. She missed him with a deep ache that had nothing to do with Christmas and everything to do with the fact that she could no longer deny her feelings. She loved him. Madly. And for the long run.
But she hadn’t a clue what to do about it.
Julie’s parents were paying her for only two weeks. Hallie couldn’t exactly crash in Daniel’s room like a college kid nabbing a couch.
When the front door opened and Daniel entered in a swirl of snowflakes and icy air, everyone greeted him with gusto. Santa found one last present under the tree, and soon a laughing Daniel was stripped of his coat and ensconced on the sofa beside Hallie.
He stole a kiss in front of their audience. “Merry Christmas, Hallie.”
She grinned at him, feeling her world settle into its orbit at last. “Merry Christmas, yourself.”
Daniel’s gift from the Denmans was a fishing pole, top-of-the-line, to use the following summer. They had all heard him wax poetic about the streams in Alaska and wanted him to be ready.
By ten thirty, Daniel had eaten a plate of leftovers, and the merrymaking was beginning to subside. The Denmans were well aware that they all had to say good-bye to Timothy, who had to be back on post by midnight. Hallie and Daniel escaped to the kitchen to give the family some privacy.
He brushed a strand of hair from her cheek.“I have a present for you, my girl. Do you want it now or in the morning?”
She bit her lip. “Don’t you have to work tomorrow?”
He shook his head. “I did some swapping. I’ll be here to help you clean, and I’ll take you to the airport if you still insist on leaving.”
She bent her head, hearing his gentle rebuke.“I guess I want it now,” she said softly. “I’ve never been a patient person.”
He pulled a velvet-covered box from his pocket, a
nd her heart stopped.
“It’s not a ring,” he said quickly. “Not yet anyway.”
He handed it to her, and she opened it. Inside was a necklace, a delicate platinum chain with a small charm, a lovely sapphire representation of a flower. It was clearly expensive, and she wondered when he had found the time to shop for such an exquisite gift.
He took it from her and unfastened the latch, placing the necklace around her neck. He turned her to face a small mirror on the opposite wall. “It’s a forget-me-not,” he said gruffly, “the state flower of Alaska. I hope it does its job. I’m counting on it, in fact.”
Her skin quivered when his fingers brushed her throat. She touched the jeweled blossom. “I love it, Daniel. Thank you.”
He turned her in his arms and kissed her gently. “It’s a start.”
She smiled at him. “I have something for you, but I think I’ll make you wait till the morning.”
“How is that fair?”
She shrugged. “I’ll make it up to you later.”
He lifted an eyebrow.“I think I just found my second wind. Is it too early to say good night to our guests?”
Before Hallie could answer, Timothy eased the door open and poked his head into the kitchen. “I’ve got to head out,” he said gruffly. Misery darkened his eyes, and it was all Hallie could do not to bawl. She gave him a kiss on the cheek, and the two men embraced briefly.
Daniel clapped him on the back.“I’ll be keeping an eye out for you, Denman. Maybe we can grab dinner once in a while.”
Timothy cleared his throat. “I’d like that.” He smiled at Hallie, but his big puppy dog eyes made it clear that he was sad to be saying good-bye. “You’ve been wonderful to my mom and the whole family.We can’t thank you enough.”
“It was my pleasure,” she said. “I hope we’ll stay in touch.”
Hallie and Daniel went out on the front porch with the rest of the crew to say good-bye and to watch Timothy drive off down the street.
After that, no one had much Christmas spirit left. Except for the children, of course, who were anxious to get to sleep so Santa would come. Hallie knew that, despite the early flight, everyone would be up with the roosters for the kids’ benefit.
When the activity downstairs had quieted down, Daniel squeezed Hallie’s hand. “Let’s go to bed, sweetheart.” About then the grandfather clock chimed the hour. They looked at each other and smiled.
She took his hand as they walked down the hall. “Merry Christmas, Daniel.”
Their lovemaking was subdued. Daniel was exhausted, and Hallie was overly emotional from the evening that had made her aware of so many mixed feelings. He entered her slowly, and moved inside her for what seemed like hours. Her legs were twined tightly around his waist, as if clinging to him gave her the power to stop the clock.To keep the weak Alaskan sun from rising.
When it was over, they cuddled drowsily, wrapped in each other’s arms. It was well into the night before Hallie slept.
When the alarm went off, she rose in a fog of fatigue, stumbling into the kitchen to prepare one last breakfast. Daniel was dead to the world, and she let him sleep. In the living room she could hear the childish squeals of glee as the little ones discovered their Santa presents.
The next couple of hours were a blur. Everyone ate, including Daniel, who showed up in the kitchen heavy-eyed and rumpled. Last-minute items were stuffed into already bulging suitcases. Occasionally someone snapped bad-temperedly, the result of too little sleep and the stress of leaving Timothy behind.
At nine thirty, all fifteen of the Denmans lined up by the front door for hugs and kisses from Hallie and Daniel. Robbie cried unashamedly as the big family went outside and loaded up in three rental vehicles. Despite the temperature, the older woman rolled down her window and leaned her head out. “Don’t be a stranger, Hallie. I left you my e-mail address and phone numbers. Don’t make me hunt you down.”
Hallie squeezed her hand. “I’ll be in touch.”
Daniel rested a hand on top of the car and kissed Robbie’s cheek one last time.“I’ll keep an eye on him until he ships out. And I’ll e-mail, too.Try not to worry.”
And then they were gone.
Daniel put his arm around Hallie, who was shaking from the cold. “Come back inside before you turn into an icicle.”
In the house, they stood awkwardly.
Daniel’s scruffy one-day beard gave him a rakish look, but there were dark circles beneath his eyes.
She had entertained the notion that they might go back to bed for a quickie before tackling the four guest rooms, but Daniel didn’t look like a man in the mood for fun and games. His mouth was set in a grim line, and his expression was an odd combination of resignation and aggression.
He thrust out his jaw. “What’s the schedule?”
Frustration made her head hurt.What did he expect her to do? Julie’s parents would be back tomorrow. Was Hallie supposed to rent one of the upstairs rooms so she could hang out with Daniel? And how did he think she’d entertain herself while he was working?
She reached in the closet for the vacuum. “I’ll handle the laundry if you’ll do the floors.”
Daniel worked mindlessly.Would it help matters if he flung her down on the nearest mattress and screwed her senseless? Would it make a difference if he begged? If he told her he wasn’t falling in love with her . . . but that he was already head over heels?
A man had his pride. He’d made it more than clear that he wanted her to stay. So yeah, maybe that would be hard for a woman like Hallie. There sure as hell weren’t any hotel jobs available this time of year.
Did he expect her to stay in his bed, warm and willing, until he had the chance to join her? Put like that, it sounded a bit selfish, even if the visual did make him hard and horny.
Oh, hell. He tried to ignore the voice deep in his gut that said he’d be able to tolerate this parting a heck of a lot better if she had at least given him some indication of what she was feeling.
By noon, the B&B was spotless, every room ready for a new guest. All traces of the Denman family Christmas were gone. Only Hazel and Roy’s Christmas decorations remained.
Daniel sprawled on the sofa and waited for Hallie to finish packing her bags. All he wanted now was to get this over with.
Hallie refused to cry. She was a grown woman. She and Daniel could work something out . . . maybe . . . if he was serious about his feelings.And if she didn’t hear from him when she was back in Seattle, well then, she’d know she had done the right thing.
She glanced around the room and checked the dresser drawers one last time. Looking at the bed was a mistake. All she could see was an X-rated movie she and Daniel had made in her memory.
Her throat tightened, and she blinked rapidly. Her chest hurt, but she refused to let him see her get all teary and emotional. She owed it to Daniel to let him know how she felt, but it was scary. If she said the words out loud, fate might decide she needed to lose one more thing.
It was irrational. She knew that. But she couldn’t shake the feeling.
She found Daniel in the living room, drumming his fingers on his knees. His entire posture said he was ready to be done with this good-bye.
His gift was tucked in her roomy purse. She planned to give it to him when they got to the airport.
He didn’t say anything, and neither did she.
She picked up her coat, but before she could put it on, her cell phone rang. Hallie flipped open the phone, giving Daniel an apologetic glance. “This is Julie. I’ll just be a minute. She probably wants to know what time to pick me up.”
Hallie walked down the hall as she talked. It always made her nervous to carry on a conversation with someone else in the room....
Daniel sighed and stood up to pace. He should have gone to work and let Hallie take a cab.This was killing him.
Minutes later, she was back, a look of excitement on her face.
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “What is it?”
> Hallie grinned. “That was Hazel calling on Julie’s phone. She and Roy want to stay in Seattle a little longer. And they’ve decided they may be ready to retire and put the B and B on the market. She wanted to know if I would mind working a few more weeks while they think about it.”
“I’d be sorry to see them go.” Daniel had become very fond of the couple who had given him a home.
“Well, it will take time. In this market, it could be a while before they find a buyer. But Julie’s wedding is coming up next spring, and I guess they’re already thinking about being grandparents in the not-too-distant future.”
Daniel smiled faintly. “Makes sense.”
Hallie flung out her arms, her face alight with excitement. “Isn’t it wonderful? I don’t have to leave Alaska.”
His stomach clenched. This was not exactly the way he’d envisioned things playing out in his fantasies.
Hallie’s face fell, and distress creased her forehead.“I thought you’d be happy about this.”
He shrugged. “I wanted you to stay because you needed me, not a job. But now I know where I stand.” He felt ridiculously hurt, and the unaccustomed sensation made him surly.
She approached him, her eyes pleading.“I love you, Daniel. But I’ve been afraid to say it. I didn’t trust what’s been happening between us. I was afraid to be happy for fear it would be snatched away.”
“Convenient,” he snarled. “The truth is, you were ready to get on a plane and never see me again. If Julie hadn’t called, you would never have told me you loved me—right?”
“No,” she cried. “That’s not true. I was going to tell you at the airport when I gave you your Christmas present, I swear.”
A leaden feeling settled in his stomach. “Well, I guess we’ll never know.”
She shook her head vigorously.“You’re wrong, Daniel. I’m telling you the truth. Here.” She reached into her huge purse and pulled out a small package. “Open this and you’ll see.”
