by Logan Chance
I tilted my head at her, suddenly wondering what things made her happy. “What else?”
“Turtles,” she said, picking up a roll and closing her lips around it.
Watching her mouth close around the roll turned me on and made me ready for round two.
“Why turtles?’ I asked, opening the containers.
She sat down on a stool at the counter, and chewed her lip for a moment before looking up at me. “Well, my mom used to tell me a story when I was a little girl about a magical loggerhead sea turtle.” She looked away from me and toyed with the noodles on her plate. “The loggerheads are huge, and this mystical turtle was the biggest and wisest one of all. The turtles would travel all over the world to find the perfect spot to come ashore to lay their eggs. When the babies hatched, somehow, they always made their way back to their mothers. So, she said the turtle watched over all the baby turtles guiding them safely home. She also said the loggerhead would protect all children—human or animal—and would always help guide them home to their mothers.”
I smiled wide and sat down beside her. “Ah, I know all about making up fairy tale shit for kids.”
She laughed. “Well, I like to believe what she said.” She paused and looked over at me. “When she died, I always found myself associating anything that was a baby sea turtle with her. Hoping one day I would make my way through the great big ocean of life and find my way back to her.”
I turned to face her and pulled her stool in closer to me. “I’m so sorry, Penny. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”
She shook her head at me. “No, it’s ok. The turtle makes me happy.” She smiled and rested her cheek in her hand. “I collect some, because it makes me feel like she’s here with me, you know? Watching over me. It’s why I got this.” She turned and brushed her long hair off of her shoulders revealing the nape of her neck. A tattoo.
My fork clattered to the countertop.
A tiny sea turtle.
FOURTEEN
PENNY
Why is he staring at me like I opened one of his dolls?
“Are you ok?” I asked. Theo hadn’t uttered a word since I showed him my tattoo.
It freaked me out the way his eyes were fixed on me.
I hopped down from the stool and closed up my container of noodles. “Cat got your tongue?” I picked up his fork he dropped and he grabbed my hand.
“Penelope,” he whispered, sending chills skating through my body.
He never called me by my given name, and for a moment I saw the recognition in his eyes.
“Yes.”
“It’s you,” he muttered, stepping closer.
I nodded. “It’s me. Are you ok?”
“From the beach?” His eyes pierced straight through me, letting me know he remembered.
I didn’t know what to say. I dropped the fork as he pulled me tighter against his body.
He tipped my chin with his finger and his eyes spoke to mine in a silent plea to answer him.
“Yeah, from the beach,” I said, barely audible.
Suddenly, he kissed me. Our tongues collided, racing to get closer, rushing to feel each other.
He slowly broke the kiss and stepped back. “I have so many questions.”
A tingling sensation shot through me and my neck heated which was in direct correlation to my pounding heartbeat.
“Ok.”
His vulnerability shone in his eyes as they searched mine. He raked his fingers through his wild, messy hair as he took in a deep breath. “Why did you leave me?”
My heart fell as I remembered. “Work. I actually got fired that morning.”
“I’m sorry.” His voice was still soft as if he couldn’t believe I really stood there.
“It’s ok. I came back and you were gone.” I wanted to tell him I thought about him many times since our fateful night. But, his reverent stance caught me off guard. Was he mad?
“The first day at the Goat, did you know it was me?”
“Yeah,” I whispered. His eyes flickered with something which scared me. Not anger, disappointment.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You didn’t recognize me. I didn’t know what to think.”
“I’m sorry, you should have told me.”
“I thought you would fire me, and I needed the job.” I turned away and played with the box of noodles.
“Fire you? Fire you for what?” He stepped closer, running his hands down my arms.
I turned and met his questioning eyes. “You weren’t very nice when we met, Theo.”
“Do you know why I chose the name Lopa?”
“No.”
“I didn’t forget you.” He paused and unknowingly took another piece of my heart with his next words. “Lopa is a form of the name Penelope.”
Relief swam through my system as I realized I wasn’t some one night stand he had a million times. The Lord of my O’s didn’t forget me, he thought about me too.
“I almost feel jealous of myself,” I joked as a smile spread across his handsome face.
“You have no reason to ever feel jealous of anything.” He gripped my hips with both hands and pulled me closer. “You’ve been a part of me since that night, and I was never able to let you go. I have you now, and you can bet your fucking life I won’t lose you again.” His eyes swept over me as a lazy smile appeared.
God, this man is sexy.
“Theo, you never really left me either,” I whispered.
He closed his eyes letting my words sink in. When he opened them a bit of mischievous fire blazed. He kissed me, pressing his hands under my ass lifting me up. Passion, want, and pure lust pulled me under like a rip current until I was drowning in the way he made me feel. My legs wrapped around him as he carried me down the hallway.
“What am I going to do with you, Penelope?” he whispered across my lips.
“Make me feel everything.”
And he did. He touched my body in ways I’d never felt before, ever. All night he kissed every part of me as I gave him more pieces of my heart.
When he pumped inside me, I’d never been more connected with any man before. It was scary and exhilarating all at the same time.
And when I lie in his arms, and the lull of sleep threatened to pull me under, I felt Theo’s lips press against the tattoo on my neck. I fell asleep with a contented smile on my face and prayed it would never go away.
***
The next morning, I met with my father.
I left his office despondent.
FIFTEEN
THEO
Reasons Why I Need Mr. Pardo’s Help
● I’m fucking broke
● Seriously his proposal isn’t too bad
● I’ll still get to be part owner
● If I don’t he’ll shut me down and I’ll have nothing
Fuck, this was hard. I contemplated my options as I sat at the Hard Rock Cafe in Bayside, near downtown Miami. I glanced at the beverage napkin on the table as I jotted down my options for even considering Mr. Pardo’s proposal.
● If I agree maybe he’ll see how serious I am about Penny
● I can’t be broke and take care of her
● I need this to work
● I can NOT fail
● Xavier thinks it’s my best option
● What other choice do I have?
● I need this to work for Penny
I heard the sound of a throat clearing and crumpled the bar napkin in my hands. Turning my head, I stared at a bald, squat man with the same color eyes as Penny.
“Theo Sullivan,” he said as he took a seat at the table.
“Mr. Pardo, I’m presuming.”
“You presume right. Have you read over the contract I sent you?” His long fingers weaved together along the table as his eyes roamed over me.
“Yes, and I’ve signed it.” I handed over the agreement.
The cacophony of music and chatter was overwhelming, and I couldn’t think clearly. I loosened t
he Windsor knot of my red Hugo Boss tie and flagged the waiter. He stopped by, and in a daze I ordered a drink, a stiff one.
“Relax. Everything is going to work out great.”
“So, how will this work exactly?”
“I want to make sure my investment is taken care of properly.”
I narrowed my eyes, grinding my teeth together. “Yes, what do you have in mind?” I was at this man’s mercy now; my own decisions didn’t matter.
“I’m bringing in someone very experienced to run the bar,” Mr. Pardo said, amused by himself.
“A new boss,” he boasted as he smoothed over the material of his button-down, dress shirt.
“Who?”
The music changed to “Black Magic Woman” by Santana and I spotted Penny across the restaurant. She was beautiful and she stole my breath away.
It all kicked in slowly, an arm wrapping around her from behind, my breath catching in my throat, and my brother’s triumphant smile shining down on her.
Our eyes met for a second before she returned her attention to Dex.
I turned and saw her father beaming at the two of them, and my heart plummeted to my stomach. They made their way to the table, together. Holding hands like a fucking couple. What the hell was going on?
“Ah, there’s my daughter and her fiancé now.”
Fiancé?
“This is the new boss…Penelope.”
To be continued…
BEARDED GOAT
COCKTAIL MENU
Cosmopolitan—
3.25 oz of Tito’s Vodka, ½ oz of Triple Sec, and cranberry. Shake Vigorously. Serve up in chilled glass. Garnish with a lime.
Manhattan—
2 oz of Rye or whiskey, ¾ oz sweet vermouth, a dash of bitters garnished with a cherry. Serve up in chilled glass or on the rocks.
Malibu and Pineapple—
A generous pour of Malibu Rum, add Pineapple Juice. Served on the rocks.
Blow Job Shot—
Pour ½ oz Baileys, ½ oz Amaretto, and ½ oz Kahlua into a shot glass. Top with whipped cream. Remember use no hands when swallowing it down.
Miami Vice—
A Blender is required. This drink combines a Strawberry Daiquiri and a Pina Colada. ½ of each drink in one glass. Recipes Below.
Pina Colada—
A Blender is Required. Malibu Rum and Pina Colada Mix into a blender with plenty of Ice. Mix on High. Pour and enjoy.
Strawberry Daiquiri—
A Blender is required. Lots of Rum and Strawberry Daiquiri Mix into a Blender. Mix on High. Pour and Enjoy.
Play List For Like A Boss
Jimmy Buffet’s “Cheeseburger in Paradise.”
Kodaline “All I Want.”
Andrew Belle “In My Veins.”
Santana “Black Magic Woman.”
Seafret “Oceans”
Keaton Henson “Small Hands”
BAR SONGS
“Piano Man” by Billy Joel
“Hotel California” by The Eagles
“Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey
“Come Sail Away” by Styx
Follow my complete playlist on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/sunshinekiddo/playlist/4zLXVwjZrpHmpY3Bz8gu59
If you follow along in the Brothers Chance Playroom then you know what’s coming next. I have two lists which have taken me a long time to compile.
These are things I do when I am not writing. Little lists I come up with.
I know what you’re thinking, I am crazy. But just wait it gets SO much worse.
Here’s a list of other words for the male penis.
Adolph
Albino Cave Dweller
baby-arm
baby-maker, baloney pony
beaver basher, beef whistle
bell on a pole, bishop
Bob Dole, boomstick
braciole, bratwurst
burrito, candle, choad
chopper, chub, chubby
cock, cranny axe, cum gun
custard launcher, dagger
deep-V diver
dick, dickie
ding dong mcdork
dink, dipstick
disco stick, dog head
dong, donger, dork
dragon, drum stick, dude piston
Easy Rider
Eggroll, Excalibur, fang
ferret, fire hose, flesh flute
flesh tower, Frodo, fuck rod
fudge sickle
fun stick, gigi, groin
heat-seeking moisture missile
hog, hose, jackhammer
Jimmy
John
John Thomas
Johnson
Joystick, junk, kickstand
king Sebastian, knob
lap rocket
leaky hose, lingam, little Bob
little Elvis, lizard
Longfellow, love muscle, love rod
love stick, luigi, manhood
mayo shooting hotdog gun, meat constrictor
meat injection, meat popsicle, meat stick
meat thermometer, member
meter long king kong dong
microphone, middle stump
Moisture and heat seeking venomous throbbing python of love
Mr. Knish
mushroom head
mutton, netherrod
old boy, old fellow, old man
one-eyed monster
one-eyed snake
one-eyed trouser-snake
one-eyed wonder weasel
one-eyed yogurt slinger
pecker, Pedro, peepee
Percy, Peter, Pied Piper
Pig skin bus, pink oboe, piss weasle
piston, plug, pnor
poinswatter, popeye, pork sword
prick, private eye, private part
purple-headed yogurt flinger
purple-helmeted warrior of love
quiver bone
Ramburglar
Rod, rod of pleasure, roundhead
sausage, schlong
schlong dongadoodle, schmeckel
schmuck, shmuck
schnitzel, schwanz, schwartz
sebastianic sword, shaft, short arm
single barrelled pump action bollock yogurt shotgun
skin flute, soldier
spawn hammer
steamin’ semen truck, stick shift
surfboard, Tallywhacker
Tan Bannana, tassle
third leg, thumper, thunderbird 3
thundersword, tinker
todger, tonk, tool
trouser snake, tubesteak
twig (& berries), twinkie
vein, wand, wang
wang doodle, wanger
wee wee, whoopie stick
wick, wiener, Wiener Schnitzel
willy, wing dang doodle,
winkie, yingyang, yogurt gun
Here’s the Vagina List
Please don’t hate me. Ha. (some have been removed)
1. 2. 3. Bearded Clam 4. Vagina 5. Soft Shelled Tuna Taco 6. Camel Toe 7. Slit 8. pit 9. Cum Dumpster 10. Fuzzy Taco 11. Air Pipe 12. 13. Beaver 14. Tuna Town 15. Punani 16. Puntang 17. ECD 18. Sweaty Love Box 19. Coochie 20. Stabin’ Cabin 21. Muff 22. Peach 23. Snake Pit 24. Holster 25. Snatch 26. Chonch 27. Pinoché 28. Hatchet Wound 29. Stinky Pink 30. Moose Knuckle 31. Small Aquatic Animal 32. Fetus Factory 33. Pudunda 34. Arm Sleeves 35. Finger Warmer 36. Bottle Holder 37. Anal Alternative 38. Susan 39. Land Down Under 40. Joy Trail 41. Tunnel of Love 42. Crotch Sink 43. Sex 44. Nappy Dugout 45. Fur Pipe 46. Flitter 47. Dinner 48. Meat Tunnel 49. Hole 50. Gash (Bleeding) 51. Roast Beef 52. Penis Coffin 53. Flower Bud 54. Pin Cushion 55. Velvet-Lined Meat Wallet 56. Cooter 57. Fur Burger 58. Fuzzy Credit Card 59. Pee-Pee 60. Miss Flappy 61. Mr. Happy’s Flappy Garage 62. Texas Tunnel 63. Front Butt 64. Penis Fly Trap 65. Red Snapper 66. Trouser Trout 67. Panty Perch 68. Box 69. Money Maker 70. Sideways Smile 71. Hair Pie 72. Abyss 73. Black Hole 74. Skirt Scampi 75. Beef Curtains 76. Funnel 77. Cherry Pie 78. Cherry 79. Penis Warmer 80.
Microwave 81. Womanhood 82. Mace 83. Fat Fold 84. Split Tail 85. Female Genitalia 86. Jiz Creek 87. One E One Horned Flying Purple Penis Eater 88. One E Monster’s Cave 89. Sheath 90. Plump Pink Penis Cushion 91. Hot Pocket 92. Cum Muffler 93. Weiner Wagon 94. Weiner Getter Wetter 95. Pink Void (get it?) 96. Pink Penis Caddie 97. Cum Sponge 98. Cum Catcher 99. Mound 100. Moist Monkey Mauler 101. Devil’s Ditch 102. Pike Purse 103. Quarry 104. Carp Carnival 105. Fish Farm 106. Skinner 107. Hole 108. Slime Well 109. Humpadelic Hymen 110. Can 111. Tampon Tamer 112. Daddy’s Dead End 113. Pink Room 114. Penis Receptacle 115. Oval Office 116. Flapper 117. TLU 118. Lasagna Lips 119. Bean 120. Hallway 121. Panty Puppet 122. Tuna Melt 123. Penis Garage 124. Ball Backboard 125. Porch 126. Yeast Factory 127. Yeast Infection Connection 128. Chatterbox 129. Box-on-the-Jack 130. Limpy’s Hump Palace 131. Pinochtitlán 132. Meatball Sub Tub 133. Tub 134. Fertilization Plantation 135. Park & Ride 136. Slip & SLide 137. Love Muffin 138. Hawaiian Hairball 139. ilocks and the Three Hairs. 140. zilla 141. Cubby Hole 142. Semen Locker 143. Apron 144. Bone Collector 145. Grassy Knoll 146. Fancy 147. The Mouth 148. One E Al’s Beef Corral 149. Duck Billed Fatapuss 150. Rubber Rimmed Romper Room 151. Masturbation Contingency Plan 152. Tar Pit 153. Sock 154. Pelvis Furby 155. Sperm Jacuzzi 156. Horny Harry’s Hobby Hole 157. Knuckles 158. Ho Chi Minh Trail 159. Yellow Prick Road 160. Great Red Ravine 161. Holiest of Holies 162. Penis Piñata 163. The Other White Meat 164. Baby Vending Machine 165. Toothless Grin 166. One Eye’s Wonder Hole 167. Purple Headed Party Shack 168. Penis Parking Lot 169. Pimp’s Paycheck 170. Glory Hole 171. Uteran Hatch 172. Watertight Door 173. Horny Halo 174. Gonorrhea Gainer 175. Tinkle Bird 176. Chlamydia Canal 177. Right Of Passage 178. Long Wanger Hanger 179. Pretty Little Penis Purse 180. Snuffleufapuss 181. Trophey Recepticle 182. Main Vein Drain 181. Pink Penis Pooker 182. Purple Headed Pit Stop 183. Spunk Bucket 184. Organ Formally Known as 185. Port of Entry 186. Errection Correction Trench 187. ECF 188. Clit Crate 189. Royal Envelope 190. Eager Mating Canal 191. Lunch Box 192. Inni 193. Velvet Underground 194. Big Berthat 195. Cooze 196. Quim 197. Extremely Durable Penis Orifice 198. Fun Bag 199. Lovin’ Oven 200. Penis Slide 201. Pride Land 202. Crank Case 203. Douche Caboose 204. Sausage Delivery Orifice 205. Clam Flavored Pothole 206. Nut Cam 207. Mama Joe 208. Next to the Butt Nut Hut 209. Pot Pie 210. Fuzzy Grape 211. Buried Treasure 212. Shrimp Bed 213. Cozy 214. Warm Apple Pie 215. Honey Pot 216. Bloomin’ Onion 217. The Q 218. Pee-Wee Grinder 219. Bloody Mary 220. Furry Flounder 221. Bald Eagle 222. Chang-Chang 223. Whisker Bisket 224. Muscle 225. Rabbit Hole 226. Snoop Nappy Snatch 227. Hairy Dime Slot 228. Skanky Hood 229. Landing Strip 230. Shaft Alley 231. Cunny 232. Kiki 233. Church Box 234. Sperm Bank 235. Meat Drapes 236. Misty Crevice 237. Knuckle 238. Snake Ranch
