by Ashley Drake
"I need it today. I was supposed to go to the library with Jaycee but I will reschedule." I could feel the knot in my throat and the tears wouldn't be far behind. I had to get away from him. "I will meet you after gym." With that I got up to walk away.
"Hannah I..." I opened the door and went back into the school, ignoring him. I can't face him again right now. How could I have been so stupid? Thinking he wanted to be alone with me. Why would he? Cause I impressed him so much at our first meeting? I'm a freakin joke to him. Just a crazy girl whose diary proved it. I ran into the bathroom, luckily I was alone. I went into a stall and grabbed some toilet paper to dry my eyes and tried to salvage my makeup. I text Jaycee, then leaned against the door and gave into a good cry. I really liked him, and I have made a complete fool of myself. Within seconds the bathroom door opened.
"Hannah?" I opened the stall door. She took one look at me and pulled me into a hug. "Han, what's wrong? whose ass do I need to kick?" This is why Jaycee is my best friend, always having my back. She helped me pull myself together and touch up my mascara while I told her everything.
Jaycee stayed in the bathroom with me until the bell rang. I was dreading biology because I knew Daniel was gonna be in there. Heck, I had him the rest of the day. We walked back to our lockers and I got my tote bag out while Jaycee made excuses to Phebs and Kayla about where we have been.
"You know Hannah can't walk and chew gum at the same time, let alone drink and walk. She spilled it all over her shirt. So we had to clean the stain out then we were stuck in the bathroom waiting for the spot to dry." It's scary how good she was at lying. I almost believed her.
Trying to put on a happy face, I smiled. "It was so embarrassing. Thanks for helping me Jaycee. I'm going to class. See you guys in gym."
Jaycee patted my back. "Remember, you are the hot girl with the take no prisoner attitude." Right now I felt like the awkward and stupid girl, but I still smiled and thanked her. I walked into class determined not to look for him, but of course I did. He was already sitting close to the window. So I found a desk across the room. I made it through the entire period without looking at him. In fact I never took my eyes off the teacher. Who I'm sure now thinks I would make a good candidate for a stalker. Any other day I would have enjoyed Mr. Powell's class. Everyone said he was a good teacher and kinda cute, but I was just focused on getting this day over with.
When the bell rang I was first out the door again. I didn't even stop at my locker because I already had my gym clothes in my tote. I didn't want to risk the chance of being confronted by Daniel. Not just yet. I figured I would save up all the embarrassment for the car ride to and from his house. Thats right, he’s driving already. How old is he? It doesn't matter. Stop thinking about him. I made it into the locker room without seeing him. The girls were already there changing, and oh goodie, so was Megan. She was already trying to get on Jaycee's nerves.
"So I saw you walking to lunch with Mike. Didn't you just break up with someone? My you work fast?"
Jaycee acted as if it didn't bother her at all. "Are you jealous Megan? You know Mike's not your type. He walks on two legs. But maybe we can find you someone at the pound." She said smiling ear to ear.
"Is that your way of calling me a bitch?"
"Aww, and people saying you're dumber than dirt, yet you caught on so fast."
I stepped in before it went from bad to worse. "Stop it. Megan go away and find someone who can tolerate you. That should keep you busy for a while."
I don't understand why most girls take her crap. She's a bully disguised as a short perky blonde cheerleader. The four of us decided we were not gonna let her get away with it this year. She walked out of the locker room and Kayla snorted a giggle and that got all of us laughing, it felt good, I needed that.
We were all given the option of different activities that we could do. We chose running the track around the football field, A.K.A. walking and gossiping. Halfway around the track, the four of us ended up being the 7 of us. Ashley, Olivia and Brittany, our extended group, joined us. High school is a very complex make up of several groups. You start with your best friend, which of course mine is Jaycee. Then you have your core group; Jaycee, Phebs, Kayla and me. These are the people you do everything with. Then there is the core group mix; the four of us with Josh, Nick, Mike, Jacob, and sometimes Chase and Luke. Next is your extended group; that adds in Ash, Olivia and Brit. These are the ones you really like, but mostly only hang out with them when your core is busy. Then it's the class group; these are the people you are friends with inside of your classroom but never really socialize outside of school with. Unless there is a party or football game or something like that. And last you have the nameless group; the ones you say hey to or smile at in the hallways, but don't really know their names. There actually is one more group. It's the group for the people you don't like. But I don't use it because no one fits into that category for me. Except for Megan, and I try not to think about her as much as possible.
The whole time we are walking I'm trying to listen and join in on the conversation. I heard Ashley saying they spent two weeks at the beach and Olivia's sister got engaged. I was getting bits and pieces here and there, but my mind was on Daniel. I already saw that he had buddied up with Jacob, Mike and Luke. (MY core group mix.) And they were playing a game of touch football. Daniel had changed into a pair of black, grey and white basketball short and a black t-shirt that set off his black hair that was currently wet from sweat. I was so zoned into him that I could feel every time he looked at me. Which I must admit was quite a lot. It was the why was he looking at me that I couldn't figure out. Was he attracted to me or feeling guilty for reading my diary or getting ready to spill everything he knows about me to the guys and wanted to make sure I was out of earshot first? To make matters worse, I can't get into his head to get a hint. I mean it's always been harder for me to do that when the subject was me. It took me awhile to even realize Josh liked me. I always thought it was supposed to be like that so I wouldn't rely on my abilities and just take the easy way through life. But I get nothing, nada, zilch from Daniel. In biology class I was thinking maybe it was because he already knew what I could do ahead of time and was blocking me. On the other hand how would he know, and HOW, to block me? He hadn't even read my diary when we first met, and I was getting nothing then either. But of course, then I was just focused on trying to walk away with a ounce of dignity. By the end of gym I had more questions than answers. I did know one thing though, I was about to get into his car and be with him...alone.
"Hannah, you coming?" Jaycee asked. The other girls were already walking toward the gym. I ran to catch up with her. "It's gonna be ok Han. I think if he was going to tell, he would have done so by now. Or maybe he didn't read it and he's just trying to get you into his bedroom." If she cared enough to want to cheer me up, the least I could do is try.
So, I threw my arm around her shoulder and smiled. " You know you're kinda intuitive.......for a butler."
"Hey, I thought I was a French maid!"
Chapter 8
I walked out of the locker room just in time to see Daniel bending over at the water fountain to get a drink.
Jacob, who was leaning against the wall beside Daniel, saw me. "What's up Han?" He’s always in such a good mood. It was almost contagious. Emphasis on almost.
So of course I have to be nice, it’s not his fault my world is crashing down around me. "Not much Jacob."
Daniel stood up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Hey, umm, we're going to drop Jacob off at his house on our way to mine. I told Jacob I was taking you to get that wind chime you made that was left on the back porch of your old house. Well my new house." It sounded like it was Daniel's turn to ramble. Focus Hannah, the important thing was that he hadn't told Jacob about my diary. I'm not getting my hopes up though. He could just be waiting for all the copies of it to be printed so he can pass them out. I'm pretty sure that's far-fetched but I'm not ruling out anything.
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br /> "Ok so let's go. I want to get it before anyone can make fun of it." If Daniel caught onto what I was saying he didn't show it. The funny thing is, I think I really did leave my wind chime on the back porch. I made it in fourth grade art class and gave it to my mom for Mother's Day. I was so proud of myself at the time but over the years I realized Mom must really love me to make such a fuss over it because it was hideous.
The walk to the car was filled with Jacob trying to talk Daniel into trying out for basketball and wrestling.
"This is me." Daniel said pointing to a little black 4 door car. It was cute and couldn't be more than a couple years old. I made sure Jacob got the front seat and I sat behind Daniel. I didn't want to have to carry on a conversation. I figured I could take this time and try to see what Jacob thinks of Kayla. As I was trying to think of a way to bring her up, I studied Jacob from the back seat. I can see why Kayla likes him. Besides his great personality, he is cute. He keeps his black hair buzzed, and he has beautiful cappuccino colored skin, and pretty green eyes. Which is unusual for someone of mix race so it makes him look kinda exotic.
"Jacob, do you have any class's with Phebs or Kayla?"
"I have Kayla in my biology class and all of yawl in lunch and gym. Why?"
"I only get to see Kayla in lunch and gym. So, I was just wondering if any guys were checking out her new makeover we gave her." Lame I know, but I couldn't think of anything else. While rolling my eyes at myself I noticed Daniel watching me through the rear view mirror. I quickly looked away and focused back on Jacob. Hmmmmm, he didn't like what I said. I pushed a little harder. He is picturing Kayla in her maxi dress today. And aww, how sweet, he sees her with a little angel like glow around her, which, with her sweet nature, was fitting.
"She looked just fine the way she always dressed." He frowned and I could feel his anxiety when he thought about her getting anyone's attention.
Oh yeah, he likes her. Now what am I gonna do about it? Maybe I can have them together before my pool party. I smiled and turned to look out the window and saw that Daniel was looking at me again. I kept quiet the rest of the way to Jacob's house. The guys resumed talking about sports. Last thing I remember hearing, was Jacob saying what a drag it was that Daniel didn't get to sign up for football in time, before I zoned out. Feeling the car come to a stop brought me out of my own little world just in time to tell Jacob goodbye.
"See ya Hannah. You getting up front?" He asked.
"Umm, yeah sure." What else was I gonna say? That I didn't want to sit beside Daniel? But it would look stupid for me to stay back here. I got out of the car and walked around to where Jacob was standing with the door held open.
"Thanks," I said while climbing in the passenger side, "See ya tomorrow." I closed the door and it was just me and Daniel. He pulled out of the driveway and headed toward my, well, his house. It shouldn't bother me that he hasn't spoken a word to me. Because I had no idea what to say to him after what happened at lunch today. Although, you would think he would say something. I tried to get a feel from him. It was difficult, but I could pick up a faint sense of anger. I took a chance and looked over at him. He was clenching his jaws. I was right. He is mad... at me! Why?
"What's wrong?" The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them.
He gave me a quick glance then back at the road. "Is the stuff you wrote in your diary true? Can you really do those things?" Well there's my answer. He's mad at me over something I have no control of, something that is a part of who I am. I played this scenario out in my head to try and prepare myself. But it still hurt worse than I thought it would. I turned and looked out the window. For someone who never cries, it looks like I will have done a lot of it before this day is done.
"Yes." I whispered, determined I would not let these tears fall.
"So do you do that often? You know, get into everyone's head like you just did with Jacob. Do you get a thrill out of it? Or go tell your friends so you all can have a big laugh."
What the heck is he talking about? I turned to him as anger replaced sadness. "If you think I'm a freak just say it! But don't you sit there and judge me or assume you know anything about me just because you read my diary!" I folded my arms over my chest, like I was three, and turned back to the window.
"Are you crying?" he asked.
"No, I have allergies." I tried to lie but I didn’t fooled him at all.
"Listen, I'm sorry. Please don't cry. I didn't mean for that to come out sounding so bad. But were you or were you not looking into Jacob's mind?"
I might as well tell him the truth. I took a deep breath, and unfolded my arms. "Yes I did. But not for the reasons you think." He said nothing, waiting for me to elaborate. "I can't tell you why, but Kayla is having a really bad time in her life right now. She has been so sad and she is such a good person. I'm talking Mother Teresa good. I know she likes Jacob and I thought I could help her have some happiness. So I looked to see if he likes her too."
"And does he?" He asked with just a hint of a smile.
And I couldn't help but grin back at him. "As a matter of fact he does." We pulled into his driveway in front of the garage.
He laid his hand over mine while I reached for my seat belt. There was that electric zap again. "I'm really sorry I was a jerk to you. I got the wrong impression and thought you were being mean and shallow and that really bothered me. Forgive me?"
"For this, yes. For reading my diary, not just yet."
"Well I guess that's a start. Come on, let's go get it."
Walking into his house felt so weird. They had it decorated beautifully, but seeing other people's stuff in the house I grew up in was hard to accept. My Dad had a recliner that my mom hated and it sat over there, in the right corner of this living room, all my life. Now in that corner is a pair of wingback chairs. It's weird. It's also weird that Dad's recliner didn't make it to the new house. I bet Mom had to do some sweet talking to get him to throw it out…. or she paid the movers to ‘lose’ it.
"The house looks great." I said following him up the stairs. Walking into his room was worse. It was grey and red. He painted over my purple and I know that shouldn't bother me, but it did. I stood inside the doorway while he went into his closet. He was neat and tidy. Everything was in it's place. He had the typical guy stuff. Like a big flat screen on the wall, games stacked up on his dresser, and posters everywhere. The poster beside the window caught my eye and I walked over to it. It wasn't taped flat against the wall, so it puckered a little bit. Behind I could see purple. Taking a closer look, I could see that behind the poster was a perfect square of my purple he hadn't painted over. I wonder why? My heart wanted to say it was to have a reminder of me. My head on the other hand said he just didn't finish painting and hid it with a poster. I hurried back to the doorway before he caught me.
"Here ya go." He handed me my diary.
I took it and held it tight to my chest. "Thank you."
"Maybe one day you can tell me all about your gift." He caught me off guard and I panicked. I'm not use to talking about it with anyone except my parents and Jaycee. I've only known Daniel for like a minute.
"I really need to get home." That was the best I could come up with.
"Oh, ok let's go." That was awkward, all thanks to me. I followed him out of his room and down the hall.
By the time we got to the steps I couldn't wait any longer, I had to ask. "Are you going to tell?"
He stopped so abruptly that I almost ran into his back. He turned around and, him being on a lower step, we were almost eye to eye. And what gorgeous eyes they were. Such a deep dark brown and they were focused on me. I must admit, it made me a little light headed. "Is that what you're afraid of? Hannah, I will never tell anyone your secret. You have my word." It was said with such emotion that I had no doubt that he meant it. I was relieved, but I couldn't thank him because all I could do was think about his breath that I could feel on my skin. And what it would be like to close the six inch gap between us and kis
s him. Get a grip Hannah. It's those kind of thoughts that will get my heart broke. Not to mention the embarrassment if he would push me away, probably in shock and horror. I realized we were still standing there on the steps in silence and he was still staring at me. Maybe he was waiting on me to say something.
"I believe you and I forgive you for reading it."
He blinked a few times, like he was trying to clear his head. Then there they were, those yummy dimples. My whole insides melted. "I better get you home." Or you could just keep standing this close to me. I'm also not opposed to kissing. Or we could go back to that whole ‘handcuffing myself to you’ idea.
On the ride home to my house, Daniel asked me the question I was dreading. "Have you read my mind?"
"I can't read minds Daniel," I love saying his name out loud, "I see images."
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"No, not at all. If I wanted to know what your favorite color was, but you were thinking about taking an algebra test, I couldn't get my answer. All I would be able to see is algebra stuff." That wasn't the best example, so I tried another one. "I brought up Kayla's name to Jacob because I wanted his mind on her. So I could see how he sees her. Also so I could feel his emotions that were brought on just by thinking of her."
I thought that any second now he is gonna stop in the middle of the road and make me get out. But instead, he tilted his head to the side, looking like he was taking this all in. "That makes sense. Red by the way." I must of had a blank look on my face, because he went on to explain. "My favorite color is red. You never answered my question."
Crap. Might as well tell him. "I tried to take a peak when Jacob got out of the car earlier. I couldn't see anything but I picked up on your anger. I think that since you know what I can do, you block me."
He thought about that for a second before asking, "Anything else you pick up from me?" He was taking this well.
