“Look, I know you love him and of course you feel like you’re betraying him if you say something, but what incident? I need to know. I don’t want Hunter to cause any harm to himself or anyone else if he’s having problems.”
With a heavy heart, she told Todd what she knew. She couldn’t very well hold back now. He already knew something had happened, and she felt horrible about it.
*****
Something seemed off. Todd kept looking at him with a concerned frown, and Becca was quiet and nervous. Had he done or said something to worry either of them? He couldn’t recall. He tried hard today to stay focused. He wanted a nice day with Becca, Sienna, Beverly and Todd.
The food was delicious. After they were done, they’d sat around the patio table talking and laughing.
“More swim?” Sienna pleaded, looking at Hunter for approval.
“Well…”
“I’ll take her back in if you want,” Becca offered quickly. She avoided his gaze.
Yup. Something was wrong.
“If you’re willing, that’s fine. She’s eaten plenty, and swimming will tire her out for sure,” Hunter said. He reached for her hand, hoping she’d look at him. “Hey. Something wrong?”
Finally, her eyes met his. She shot him a deer in the headlights look, as if he’d caught her doing something. What the hell?
“Swim!” Sienna jumped off her chair and ran to Becca, tugging on her hand eagerly.
Hunter was about to say something to his daughter, but Becca already looked away and focused on Sienna. Hand in hand, they walked toward the pool. Hunter pushed his chair out, curious as to what Becca was holding back when Todd stopped him.
“We need to talk, Hunter,” he said, seriously.
Catching his lip between his teeth, Hunter focused tried to focus solely on him. The sounds of laughter and splashing from the pool still drew his attention. He really just wanted to find out what was up with Becca. It would have to wait. No point in being rude and brushing Todd off. “What’s up?”
“This better not be any work talk,” Beverly warned her husband. “We’re having a nice day.”
“Well, it kind of is. This is important though, Beverly.” Todd shot her a look and used a tone that said he was going to go on with this conversation anyway. “Hunter, why didn’t you say anything about you having a rough landing a few months ago?”
Shit. How the hell did he find out about it?
Hunter put two and two together. He’d left Todd in the pool with Becca. Ever since then, both of them had been watching him wearily. Why would Becca have said something? He thought the other day after snapping at her about not talking to someone she’d just let it go. She had to go and say something to Todd?
“Rough landing?” Beverly raised her voice, alarmed.
Hunter sighed. “It was the night of the divorce. I was upset, not thinking and yes, I took a spur of the moment flight with someone. I made a bad judgment call all the way around. Simple as that. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think I needed to.”
“You haven’t been the same since. You turn down a lot of the bigger flight requests. You’re not sleeping and no one had to tell me. I can see it. Your mind seems to be all over the place. I’ve been wanting you to come back to work, but maybe you need more of a break. Are you having nightmares?” Todd leaned forward in his seat, his eyes narrowed and focused on Hunter.
He froze. Did Becca tell him that too?
“I don’t even need a verbal response. That look in your eyes just proved it. Hunter, you need to talk to someone and get whatever it is under control. I can’t have you flying if you’re distracted.”
“I’m not-”
“Yes, you’re very distracted. I get that. You’ve had a lot go on in the past few years. You’re starting a new relationship and you worry about your daughter. You space out a lot. I’ve had a couple of clients comment about how they’re worried about you. You know darn well we take care of our own around here, so whatever you’re going through, I just want you to know-”
“Come on, Todd. I’m fine! So I’m a little tired.” A little? Yeah he knew that was an outright lie, but he’d been working just fine. It sounded as if Todd was about to make him take more time off. Part of him wanted that, but he’d wanted to do that on his own terms, not because he’d been pushed into it. Frustration shot through his body, making him edgy and restless. He glanced over at the pool. Becca faced away from him, probably purposely, while she splashed around with Sienna. What would possess her to say anything? He didn’t want to be, but he couldn’t help but be a little pissed at her.
“I think I’ll go find those cookies.” Beverly shot to her feet, taking off for the house. She never did like it when they discussed work during family gatherings, especially if there were issues.
“I wish I believed you, Hunter. I think it’s a lot more than that. You were warned a few weeks ago to take it easy before you wound up in the hospital, but you’re just as much on edge, if not more. What’s going on?”
With a grunt, Hunter raised his glass to his lips. The cool liquid ran down his throat. He slammed it down a little too rough. “Okay, it’s more than just tired. It’s everything. Eva, Sienna, the divorce. Becca … and while we were on the island, we had a few mishaps.” He filled Todd in on the details. The boat, the storm, the letters, and what happened when they arrived at the house. He wasn’t happy about having to share all the details at the moment, but he figured why the hell not. Todd seemed to know everything else now.
Todd’s scowl deepened as he clasped his hands together. He never took his eyes off Hunter. “I suggest you talk to someone. I can understand what’s going on with you, but I’ve said before, I can’t have you putting yourself or anyone in danger.”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” His heart raced, blood roaring in his ears. He shot to his feet, a wave of dizziness slamming into him at the same time.
“You know I think the best of you, but you’re dealing with something out of your control. It’s best that you don’t return to work until we know for sure what we’re dealing with here,” Todd said quickly.
“Are you suspending me?” He couldn’t believe he was hearing this.
“I wouldn’t call it that-”
He raked a hand through his hair, his mind spinning. “This isn’t right. I can’t believe you’re doing this! Maybe I should just quit!” Whoa, now where the hell did that come from?
“Hunter, why in the hell don’t you want to see-?” Todd started.
“What are you doing here, why are you yelling at my father, and who is that woman in the pool with my daughter?”
Hunter froze, recognizing the angry female voice. He slowly turned. Standing in the doorway was Eva, her face twisted into an angry snarl, hands on her hips. And the hits just keep coming.
Chapter Twenty Six
“Where have you been?”
That was the first thing out of his mouth. Hunter glared back at his ex-wife, the anger at Todd and Becca pushed on the back burner as he wondered what the hell she’d been up to.
Eva leaned against the door frame and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I asked the questions first. How is it you all can have a good time? Why are you here, Hunter?”
“We invited him, Eva.” Her father jumped to his aid from the table.
“How nice,” she snapped sarcastically. “And the woman in the pool holding Sienna?”
Blowing out a breath between clenched teeth, Hunter glanced at Becca. This time, she was looking his way, her eyes wide as she watched the scene unfold. Sienna stood at the foot of the steps. “Mommy?” She ran out of the pool, heading their way.
Hunter scooped her up before she could fall and grabbed a towel to wrap her in it.
“Come see Mama, baby doll,” Eva cooed at Sienna. Hunter set her down. As pissed as he was at Eva, the last thing he wanted to do was keep his daughter from her. Sienna bolted and hugged Eva’s legs. “I’d still like to know who that woman is.”
>
Becca climbed out of the pool and hesitated. She stood at the edge. For a second, he let go of his frustrations about her ratting him out and gestured for her to come on over. This was going to be pretty damn uncomfortable, not only for him, but for Becca. “That’s Becca,” he informed Eva.
“Didn’t waste much time, did you?” Eva fumed. “We’re a few months out of our divorce and you bring her to my parents house and into the life of our daughter?” So, she did know more about Becca than he’d realized.
“Me, waste time? Look at you, Eva! You immediately turned on me and shut me completely out the moment you see fit,” Hunter snapped. A loud ringing began in his ears. He ignored it, trying to hold back the anger he felt surging through his veins. With a pounding heart, he stopped to breathe in an attempt to keep calm. Too bad it wasn’t working. “You blame me for things that I can’t control. Hey, I get it. I blame myself!” He threw his hands up in the air. “You go and tell everyone that I was a terrible husband, and what hurts the most is you make me out to be a bad guy when it comes to Sienna. I’m not a terrible father, Eva, nor was I a bad husband. I tried! I gave it all I had, and you only want more. You want to take everything away from me to satisfy your own pain. I get your grief, okay? I’ve been there. And some days, I’m still there!” He swayed, overcome with such rage it made him dizzy. “You lost your brother. I know that hurts. He was your twin. I lost a good friend when Jeff died. I wanted to save him! And long before that, I lost my family-both of my parents. I was twelve, Eva. Twelve! I watched everyone on that plane die, except Becca. There wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it! Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that my twelve year old self had to tell an eight year old that her family was dead. How’s that for grief? Here’s one more for you. There’s a chance there might have been another survivor from that crash and I never found them! I can’t even remember! They were out there, alone, for who knows how long. It never stops! I always seem to be the bad guy, the one that either can’t save everyone or the one delivering a ton of bad news. I take your grief and raise you by a few more!”
He’d said a mouthful, an agonizing, painful mouthful that he probably should have left unspoken. Regret churned in his gut. He dared not to look at Becca right now. Damn, the pain he must have just dredged up for her. What the fuck did he just do?
Everyone stared at the two of them, stuck where they were, no one sure what to do. Becca wrapped a towel around herself, keeping a safe distance from Hunter and Eva. Todd stood in front of the table, his mouth ajar. From inside the house, Beverly stood in the dining room right by the door.
The silence tore at him.
Then Sienna started to cry. Loud, sharp wails.
Fuck, he’d been so pissed off he scared his daughter and made her cry.
Beverly made her move then, coming outside to take Sienna from her daughter. “I think you and I will go inside and have some quiet time,” she comforted. Shooting one last look at Eva and Hunter, she hurried back inside. Eva stared in the direction her mother had just come from.
“Excuse me, I should probably-” Becca broke the silence, but didn’t finish her sentence. She held the bag of clothes and her purse against her chest. Her wet hair hung in her face and she avoided looking at anyone.
Damn it, he shouldn’t have yelled like that first of all. And he damn well shouldn’t have yelled painful reminders in front of Becca. He hadn’t been thinking.
“Bec, wait. Please,” Hunter said weakly, wanting to reach for her, but his body felt like it was weighed down with concrete.
She leveled her gaze on him, eyes full of pain. “Not now, Hunter. You should probably…” She gestured at Eva. Hunter understood. Becca had a point. He and Eva needed to get things out right then and there.
Eva didn’t budge from her spot. Becca squeezed through the door, not looking back.
“I’m going to check on Beverly,” Todd stuttered. Yeah, Hunter didn’t blame everyone for bolting. He wanted to bolt himself.
When Todd went inside, it left Hunter alone with his ex-wife. She finally glared at him again. He was surprised to see tears in her eyes.
“I don’t mean to brush off your pain, Eva,” Hunter said calmly. “I know losing your twin brother is painful. I just-why do you have to blame me so much? It’s bad enough I always think there’s more I could have done. I wanted to help you, but all you did was push me away.”
“Would it have mattered?” Eva muttered through a teary voice. “We were doomed from the start anyway. We both should have seen that. Your heart was never fully mine. We got married because my hormonal, pregnant self couldn’t handle not being married. I knew it was wrong, but I hoped, you know?”
Though she was right, her accusation struck him right in the gut. Had he known what he wanted, how he felt before, he would have made different choices. People were hurt, including Eva.
“I loved you,” he insisted. And he meant it. He’d loved her. “I wanted to make it work, too. I wanted our daughter to know a family’s love. I missed out on that for years.”
Eva nodded. “You did, but you weren’t in love with me. The same goes for me. I loved you, but I wasn’t in love with you. Our off and on unstable status for years should have been enough warning. I know you wanted a family, but we went about it the wrong way, and we both ended up miserable.”
“The only regret I have was that I hurt you. We have Sienna, and I don’t ever regret having her.” He straightened, finally feeling the muscles in his body relax and lose their tension.
“So are we even? I hurt you, too. I think I took the childish way out. I knew long before Jeff’s death that our marriage wouldn’t survive. Instead of accepting half the blame, I threw it all on you for the wrong reasons. I’m a fucking wreck, Hunter. I don’t sleep, I miss Jeff like crazy. There’s a huge gaping hole in my life where my brother should be. I lash out on everyone. The night I left Sienna with Marilee, I needed to get away. It wasn’t just for selfish need. I was so on edge I thought I would hurt somebody. I felt the best thing to do was leave her somewhere safe and regroup. I can’t live like this anymore.” Eva broke down, her entire body shaking from sobs. “Why did you marry me if you couldn’t be in love with me?”
Hunter blanched. Didn’t she just apologize for not taking some of the blame? Now she threw this at him? “That’s not fair, Eva. It takes two for a marriage, you know.”
“Didn’t you always know you loved her?”
“I don’t know, Eva. Maybe in the back of my mind, I did. Sometimes it takes so much more to realize the truth.” He looked at the woman he had once been married to. They’d promised each other forever. That’s what vows were. How could they have gone into that kind of commitment if neither of them were sure about their feelings? “I did want to do right by you, but I think we both know we could have been good parents to Sienna without being married. But the past is the past. You know that I always wanted the best for you, right? You know me at least that much, don’t you?”
“Maybe I didn’t. I never knew some of those details about your accident. I may not know you, but that’s not all on me. You hold everyone at arm’s length. You don’t let anyone in.”
He thought about it and realized how right she was. He didn’t. People had to pry to get an insight into his life. Shara knew things only because she worked with him. Even Becca, who he thought he’d really been open with, he hadn’t. He let everything build up until he couldn’t take it anymore, then it all came out in a raging rush, usually in the wrong way.
“No, I don’t let people in easily,” he admitted.
“I came home with the intent to apologize to everyone. Then I saw how much fun everyone was having, saw your friend in the pool holding Sienna and my first thought was that I’d been replaced. I kinda flipped out.” Eva finally moved, sinking into one of the nearby patio chairs. Hunter followed and sat beside her. His legs stopped shaking once he sat down.
“No one’s replacing you, Eva.”
“I keep feeling
guilty. If I laugh, I feel like I’m letting Jeff down!”
An invisible, icy hand squeezed Hunter’s heart. “I know that feeling. I had that same thing after the crash. If I went to go play at the basketball court and had a good time, I thought I’d betrayed my parents. I didn’t want to laugh. I hated the idea of having fun when they weren’t there to have fun anymore. The thing I learned is life does go on. People might leave us way too early and it sucks, but we as survivors have to keep living. Think about Jeff and how crazy impulsive he was. What would he say to you right now?”
Eva sniffed. “That I’m a blubbering idiot and that I need to get over myself!” They shared a forced laugh. Hunter could picture Jeff saying those exact words. The tense silence came back.
He shifted in his seat, not sure what to say next. “Do you think we can get along like this more? I don’t want Sienna to always see us fighting.”
Eva lowered her head. “Neither do I. I just-Hunter, I don’t want to be replaced as Sienna’s mother, either.”
What was she-Oh. Becca and Sienna’s immediate bond.
“Sienna will always know who her mother is. I won’t deny that in a very short time, Sienna and Becca have become very attached, but it’s not to replace you. I wanted full custody, not to shut you out, but because of safety. You weren’t acting the best, but it was never to take your rights as a mother away.”
“I wasn’t the best, and I see that now. I can’t say it’s going to immediately get better, but that night I-I hit rock bottom. I realized I needed to shake myself out of this hole I’ve dug myself into.”
“I’m not asking for immediate. Things take time. I want to be able to see Sienna more. I don’t want to feel like the time I get with her will be my last.”
Eva sighed, a long, drawn out sigh. “Yeah. About those threats. I can’t believe I-I’ve been a real snit, haven’t I?”
“Maybe so, but I’ve been a real jerk.”
He couldn’t get over the fact that for once in a very long time, he and Eva were having a decent conversation. The last time they’d had one like this… Well hell, he couldn’t even recall.
Passionate Kisses 2 Boxed Set: Love in Bloom Page 104
