Redemption
Alchemy Series
Book Four
Donna Augustine
Copyright © Donna Augustine 2014
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced.
This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, people or places is entirely coincidental.
Line edit by Devilinthedetailsediting.blogspot.com
Copy edit by Expresseditingsolutions.com
For Cait
Redemption
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter One
Beginning Again...Again
"What do you mean you're leaving?" I asked Cormac, as he stood across the living room of the penthouse with his back to me. "Cormac, answer me. What are you talking about?"
He didn't turn around and his entire frame seemed to tense at my words. I knew he'd been more on edge these last few days, but who wouldn't have been, considering the situation. This was the first time since I'd known Cormac that I'd ever seen him this out of control.
And for Cormac, this was indeed out of control. Every move he made was deliberate, and now...I didn't know if I could put into words the barely constrained energy pouring off of him.
We'd just walked in when he sent everyone else away. I knew they'd felt it too. I saw it in Dodd's concerned eyes and Dark’s uneasy gait. Even Burrom had kept his comments brief on parting.
I'd known whatever he was planning on telling me wasn't going to be good, but this? He couldn't be serious. Cormac was my rock. He was everyone's anchor. The man who would always remain solid, standing there when things got bad. Now he was...leaving? No, he couldn't really mean this.
I watched him turn, and his eyes met mine for just the briefest of moments before moving on. That's when it really hit. My world started to crumble to the ground around me. Cormac couldn't look at me. He was really going to do this.
"Talk to me. What is going on?" If he would just talk to me, I could get control of this. Cormac didn't leave his people. It went against the very grain of who he was.
"I've got to leave."
Maybe he was talking about a day or so. Maybe it was just a scouting mission or something. Even as the thoughts ran through my head, I knew it wasn't the case but I couldn't stop hoping.
"Where do you have to go? Is it a food run?"
"Just...away. It's...I have to leave."
His body finally released from its tense position, but it wasn't an improvement. Cormac's eyes were wild as he started to move about the living room, no real destination apparent.
"What are you talking about? Talk to me, please!" I finally got my legs to unfreeze from the shock of what he was saying, and crossed the room to where he was and gripped his arm. I knew I was crying. I felt the tears running down my cheeks and I didn't care. "We've got almost three thousand more Fae and wolves here. You can't leave now. I can't do this alone." My fingers dug into his arms, a death grip and one I wouldn't relinquish, trying to hold him to me.
"I'm sorry. I thought I had it under control."
"Had what under control? Is it the new wave of magic?"
When the portal opened three days ago, it sent another shock wave of magic rippling through the world. It hadn't affected me, but I'd felt the raw power of it rushing through our existence. Could feel the fingers of it clawing even deeper into everything there was, shredding what little normalcy that had initially been spared. I saw the acceleration of differences in sheer numbers of humans who were changing. It was akin to a steroid shot. The percentage of changed, the people who were becoming different because of the exposure to magic in everything around us, hovered at ten percent. Now, it was closer to fifty.
He finally really looked at me. "I don't know what is going to happen if I stay. What I'll do. I can feel it pulling at me, gnawing away at my body, my thoughts, the very core of who I am and I can't seem to stop it. I have to go."
This doesn't have to be that bad. Maybe it won't be that long. "How long? A couple of days? What are you talking about?"
His attention riveted back to me again and I saw such sadness in his blue gaze that I knew it before he spoke.
"I don't know." The despair I heard in his voice felt like a virus latching onto my soul. "Dodd will help you, if you need him."
"Dodd? He barely leaves his room because of Sabrina." He just needed to understand that he couldn't leave and then he'd stay.
"He'll step up, but you won't need him."
I collapsed at his feet, my whole body wracked with sobs. I really wasn't going to be able to stop him. Desperation so thick, like I'd never felt before even in my darkest days, suffocated me until it was hard to drag air into my lungs.
"Please, Cormac, I can't do this without you." I grabbed his leg in front of me. "Please, I'm begging you. I don't beg and I'm on my knees begging you. I don't want to do this without you." I was gripping onto him for dear life. He couldn't leave me like this. He wouldn't. "I can't do this," I repeated. He didn't understand.
"I'm sorry." His voice was so soft I barely heard it.
And then I was hugging nothing but air. I frantically scanned the room, but he was gone.
I curled up into a ball on the ground where he'd stood seconds ago and I fell apart. What was I going to do? He'd left me. He'd left everyone.
I didn't get up or move, just huddled there. My head was pounding with a headache. I'd never imagined how much I could cry.
I'd thought I'd hit bottom.
But I hadn't. This, right here, right now, this was what the bottom felt like. When you didn't want to even crawl off the floor. The couches were only a few feet away, but I didn't move from the spot where he last stood. The possibility of this happening had never entered my mind, which made the force of the blow that much worse. I'd figuratively shown my vulnerable underbelly and gotten punched in the gut for my mistake. Now I would pay the price.
I'd begged him to stay for everyone, when the truth was, all I'd cared about was my own need of him.
I might have lain there for hours if Dark hadn't started frantically pounding on the door, calling for Cormac.
Dark was the lone wolf, literally, that I trusted. A tall blond with a pretty boy face, he looked more like a skateboarder than a monster in disguise. He'd sided with us against the wolves too many times to count and if he was looking for Cormac, he wouldn't be leaving until he found him. He looked to Cormac with all the adoration due an esteemed older brother.
As the banging continued, I knew I had to get up. If not for the right reasons, one of which could be the desire to stand on my own two feet, then for my pride. I wouldn't let anyone see what he'd done to me, what I'd been reduced to by his leaving.
"I'm coming," I screamed, and I immediately gripped my head, cringing at the pain my
own voice caused.
I pulled myself to my feet and wiped the dampness from my cheeks. I was sure my eyes were red and puffy but nothing could be done for that. I pinched my cheeks to get a little quick color before I unlocked the door.
He was so agitated that he didn't even notice my disheveled state as he brushed past me into the penthouse.
"Where's Cormac?" he asked, looking around.
"What's wrong?" I asked, trying to disguise the hoarseness of my voice.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked, and I knew I hadn't disguised it well enough.
I turned quickly so he didn't have a chance to examine me too well.
"You don't look so hot," he continued, I guess having seen enough.
"Nothing. I think I'm getting a cold. I was about to make some tea. Want some?" I asked, finding an excuse to not look directly at him.
"No, thanks. I need to find Cormac. We're supposed to go on an overnight gas scouting trip and one of the new wolves is being a pretentious ass, claiming he's the group leader and trying to dictate when we leave."
Our gas was once again running dangerously low, like it had so often since The Shattering. The Shattering was the name we'd given the chain of events that had caused our civilized world to cease to exist. It was the line of demarcation. Before it, there had been hospitals and schools, due process and court systems.
Now, on the most generous day, we survived in what could be termed at best, organized chaos.
Fuel sources were a constant problem. We still needed to run the generators for the funny phones hooked up to our own little system, computers and countless other things. Some places in the castle still had modern heating that required electric. But torches, or "old school lamps," as some liked to joke, were becoming more and more common.
"I really need Cormac." Dark drew my attention back to him as he was still searching the penthouse.
"Cormac had to leave for a little while." He split town and we're all screwed…again.
That got Dark's attention instantly, as he swung back to stare at me. "What do you mean?"
His eyes darted around as if he still expected to see Cormac walking in. The panic was starting to form, as I'd feared it would. Dark had always looked to him for direction. Everyone did, or used to. Effortlessly, he had always taken the lead, anchored everyone around him. Now we were adrift. This was going to be a painful transition and I hoped we wouldn’t crash into too many icebergs during the journey.
I fussed with the little hotplate hooked up to a portable solar battery that was heating my tea water. I was trying to keep my hands moving, to disguise the shaking, as I thought up something that would calm him.
"With the way the weather is getting so cold and the threat of the senator looming, he thought it would be a good idea to possibly scout out a better locale for us to move to. Somewhere that would be more efficient to heat and is easier to defend." The lies spewed out of me easily, born of desperation.
"He never said anything." Dark turned from me and I surreptitiously watched his brow furrow and the corners of his lips pull inward. He looked down, as if trying to digest the new information that didn't sit well with his palate.
"It had to be done." I shrugged, feigning nonchalance, as if it wasn't the exact opposite of what Cormac would do. "He'll find a safer place for us, with better resources." After destroying the world as we knew it, what were a couple of lies? I was grateful for the fact that I couldn't easily die, because when I went, I was afraid the destination might be a bit warmer than I liked.
Then again, it might not be too bad. I could end up a VP, with my current resume littered with the death and destruction I'd accidentally wrought. Perhaps I'd get my own fiery suite with a little imp lap dog.
"How long will he be gone?"
I swallowed past the lump in my throat and tried to find my voice. This one was a whopper. "I'm sure it won't be long, but I don't have an exact time frame." Tired of waiting for water to boil, I walked across the room and fiddled with some of the papers Cormac had left on the table. I flipped through with mock deep concern and furrowed my brow in an effort to mimic how Cormac would've acted if he were here. I needed to seem confident and in charge, not scared shitless like I really was.
I looked back up at Dark. "Go on the scouting mission without him. Take Sharon instead. She's extremely capable and always willing to fill in. Tell the new guy I want to see him up here in ten minutes."
A day ago, I would've heard about this problem but it wouldn't have been a concern. Cormac would've handled it. He would have talked with the new guy and that would have been that. He would've fallen in line, the way they always did.
Dark was scowling more deeply, as if trying to find his mental footing with the new chain of command. It took him a second of adjusting before he said, "Okay. I'll send him up." His forehead smoothed over and he started to make small talk that I barely comprehended but nodded and made enough of the right responses to pull off. A few minutes later, I watched him walk out of the apartment, completely comfortable with the bullshit I'd just fed him.
I, in comparison, was shaking as I sank into the chair closest to me and dropped my head onto the table. The absence of noise in the penthouse was deafening. I felt my eyes burning with tears I wouldn't shed. He didn't deserve them. Today, Cormac had crushed me; I wouldn't let his abandonment destroy anyone else.
Three Months Later
I felt a quick tremor shoot through the castle as I walked down the stone hallway, a small echo of the ones that had contributed to the destruction of our world. They had been much stronger again, right after the portal had opened last time. The earthquakes hadn't simply stopped after that night, but lingered on. Every so often, when you least expected it, the earth shook and reminded everyone of our feeble position on this planet. For me, it was also a constant reminder of my mistakes.
In addition, the last opening flooded The Lacard with nearly three thousand Fae and wolf refugees; men, women and children. When the new arrivals spilled in, in desperate need and deserving of compassion, all I could think of was that they were more mouths to feed.
I'd written anyone left on Vitor's planet off as dead, or as good as, since I'd never thought to see them again. It was amazing they'd even managed to get a portal open. I still didn't know how they'd pulled it off. After questioning them, it seemed they weren't quite sure either.
The responsibility for allowing them to stay here weighed heavily upon my shoulders, but I hadn't been able to push them out into the world as it was now. It didn't matter. We'd survive. If I've learned anything lately, it's that desire can and will sometimes defeat even the worst odds. “Can't” was no longer a word in my vocabulary, though the words “Can” and “Yes” weren't exactly up there in use, either. “Have” to seemed to be the hot word of the moment.
But the hardest thing about remembering that day was the reminder of Cormac's abandonment, less than seventy-two hours later. Months had now passed without a word. He could be dead. It might have been easier if he were. That thought used to bring me to my knees, but not anymore. He'd left and I wouldn't shed another tear for him. I wouldn't romanticize what could've been. In the end, he'd shown his true colors. I refused to rationalize those actions into something forgivable.
I took a right turn down another hallway. I'd crammed our new refugees into every last available space. This part of the casino had gone full on castle, one completely devoid of electricity.
On the surface, The Lacard and its inhabitants had been left seemingly unmarred, but the damage was there; you just couldn't see this kind of destruction on the surface. Now, as things calmed down and one by one people succumbed to sleep, the effect of this horrible reminder showed its true form.
At this time of night, the only thing I should have heard was the burning of the torches, the sounds of my solitary footsteps and the soft breaths of slumber. Instead, the near silence was disturbed with the sound of people rousing in the grip of night terrors. The screams of people
waking in fear would be this generation's version of bad elevator music.
I should be asleep as well, but when I stayed still my doubts surfaced and memories I wished I could abolish ran through my brain, taunting me, slamming into me with regrets. I paced the halls until I could barely stand and I didn't have another ounce of strength. Until I knew for sure it was safe. When I was positive with absolute surety that the moment I lay upon the bed I had so briefly shared with Cormac, exhaustion would immediately claim me. Then, I too would rise sometime in the night, a cold sweat on my skin and screams torn from me against my will.
So, I walked the halls night after night, among friends and others who I knew were my enemies. They were here, the ones that had killed my mother. I didn't have a shred of proof. Only a small percentage of wolves had survived; just as our world had been ravaged, so had theirs. It appeared our worlds had been more connected than we'd ever realized. The storms that hurt our world had wiped out their entire planet. There was nothing left for them. They'd come through the portal, starving and bedraggled, with nothing but the few possessions they carried.
But I knew in their midst, the murderers had survived. Just as I knew someone was watching me right now, even though I couldn't see them. It wasn't logical but neither was anything else, anymore. Mortals were morphing into mystical creatures from fairy tales almost daily. Thinking logically about what might come was a waste of time.
When I heard footsteps rushing toward me, I swung around quickly, prepared to fight, but stopped short at the familiar face.
"How long have you been following me?" I asked Dodd.
"I've been looking for you for an hour."
Dodd hadn't been my secret stalker. I trusted him almost as much as I had once trusted Cormac. There might be a warning in there somewhere, but I refused to consider it. Other than being a reformed rake, he fell solidly into the good guy list. Hell, even the women he'd dated, and I use the word dated loosely, still liked him.
Redemption: Alchemy Series Book #4 Page 1
