triltigo (Derbyshire) a word used to start boys off in a race
treer (c.1850) a boy who avoids organized sports, but plays a private game with one or two friends (by the trees at the side of the ground)
ABC
School can take some of the heat off the parents…
abecedary (1440) a table or book containing the alphabet, a primer
minerval (1603) a gift given in gratitude by a pupil to a teacher
brosier (Eton College c.1830) a boy with no more pocket money
nix! (1860) a warning especially among schoolboys and workmen of somebody’s approach
MANNERS MAKYTH MAN
At Winchester College, as elsewhere in times gone by, discipline was strictly maintained by corporal punishment. If it wasn’t from the authorities, you could count on the bullies for trouble:
tin gloves (c.1840) a criss-cross of blisters methodically made by a bully on the back of a victim’s hand
bibler (c.1830) six cuts on the back
tund (1831) to flog a boy across the shoulders with a ground-ash
rabbiter (1831) a blow on the back of their neck with the edge of the open palm
to sport eyesight (1920) to deliver all the blows on the same spot in beating
FIGHTING YOUR BATTELS
Similar slang was adopted at many universities. At Oxford, your battels (Tudor–Stuart) were (and still are) your college bills; if you didn’t get to an exam you ploughed (1853) it; and academic nudity (b.1909) was appearing in public without a cap or gown. At Cambridge, in Victorian times, a brute (19C) was one who had not matriculated and a sophister (1574) was an undergraduate in his second or third year. In both places a whiffler (c.1785) was one who examined candidates for degrees, while at Dublin a sizar (1588) was one who got a college allowance. At Aberdeen, from the eighteenth century on, you were a bajan in your first year, a semi in your second, a tertian in your third, and a magistrand (1721) if staying for a fourth year to sit an MA.
JUST MISSED A GEOFF
Much more recently, a new slang has grown up to describe the various kinds of degrees that one may hope to get. The much-prized First has been known as a Geoff (Hurst), a Damien (Hirst) or a Patty (Hearst), a raging (thirst) or a James (the First). A 2:1 is known as an Attila (the Hun) or a Made-In (Taiwan). A 2:2 is known as a Desmond (Tutu) and a Third as a Douglas (Hurd), a Thora (Hird), or even a Gentleman’s Degree, though who would admit to having one of those these days?
RETURN TO THE COOP
Education over, for more than a few the appeal of moving back home can be strong, especially in these days of high rents and generous parental expectations:
twixters (US slang) fully grown men and women who still live with their parents
ant hill family (UK slang) the trend whereby children move back in with their parents so that all can work together towards group financial goals
LIFE IS SHORT
Life races on, and all too soon comes that point when some feel the need to start lying about their age…
agerasia (1706) looking younger than one really is
paracme (1656) the point at which one’s prime is past
menoporsche (UK slang) the phenomenon of middle-aged men attempting to recapture their lost youth by buying an expensive sports car
… a pointless activity, for your years will always catch up with you:
prosopagnosia (1950) an inability to recognize familiar faces
sew the button on (UK slang b.1898) to have to jot down at once what you wish to remember
astereognosis (1900) the loss of the ability to recognize the shapes and spatial relationships of objects
WORD JOURNEYS
debonair (13C from Old French: de bonne aire) of good disposition or family
puny (16C from Old French: puis né) born later, a junior; then inexperienced
husband (Old English) master of a house; then (13C) husbandman: tiller of the soil (an extension of his duties); then (15C) housekeeper or steward; then (16C) a man who managed affairs generally
OYSTER PARTS
Culture
Literature should be my staff
but not my crutch
(Scott: Lockhart’s Life 1830)
There’s little doubt that as a culture we have a passion for a good story well told:
anecdotard (1894) an old man given to telling stories
ackamarackus (US slang 1934) a specious, characteristically involved tale that seeks to convince by bluff
SHAZAM (1940) Solomon’s wisdom, Hercules’ strength, Atlas’s stamina, Zeus’s power, Achilles’ courage and Mercury’s speed (an acronymic magic word like ‘abracadabra’ used to introduce an extraordinary story)
shark-jump (US media jargon 1997) instances that signal the imminent decline of a TV series by introducing plot twists inconsistent with the previous plot
bridges, bridges! (c.1880) a cry to arrest a long-winded story
THE BEST WORDS IN THE BEST ORDER
Poetry too seems to be in the blood, and judging by the activity in pubs around the nation, in no danger of declining:
genethliacon (1589) a poem written for someone’s birthday
amphigory (1809) a poem that seems profound but is nonsense
randle (b.1811) a set of nonsensical verses, repeated in Ireland by schoolboys and young people, who have been guilty of breaking wind backwards before their companions
rhapsodomancy (1727) fortunetelling by picking a passage of poetry at random
musophobist (Swinburne 1880) a person who regards poetry with suspicious dislike
PENMEN
Scribblers still throng a land where people have long been under the illusion that there is something glamorous about the business of writing:
purlicue (1808) a dash or flourish at the end of a written word
wegotism (1797) the excessive use of ‘we’ in writing (particularly in newspaper editorials)
parisology (1846) the use of ambiguous language or evasive writing
macaronic (1638) mixing words from different languages
Patavinity (1607) the use of local slang or expressions when writing
cloak-father (c.1639) a pretended author whose name is put forth to conceal the real author
CRITICAL MASS
The best advice for authors is Somerset Maugham’s: ‘Don’t read your reviews, dear boy. Measure them’…
Zoilist (1594) a critic, especially one who is unduly severe or who takes joy in faultfinding (after the fourth-century Greek critic)
histriomastix (Tudor–Stuart) a severe critic of playwrights
squabash (1818) to crush with criticism
praise sandwich (US slang Houston 1987) criticism prefaced by and followed by compliments
BOOKS DO FURNISH A ROOM
There remains one important group that no one in the business can afford to take for granted – the dear old readers:
enchiridion (Late Latin 1541) a book carried in the hand for reference
thumbscall (Shropshire) a piece of paper or card inserted in a book to mark a page
bibliotaph (1824) a person keeping his or her books secret or locked up
grille-peerer (1940s) one of a group of clergymen who used to haunt the stacks of the London Library to look up the skirts of women browsing above
to have a face-ticket (British Museum Reading Room 1909) to be so well known to the janitors that one is not asked to present one’s ticket
ARE YOU WORKING?
Sitting in a corner with a mere book has never been enough for another creative group who flourish in our supposedly inhibited culture:
oyster part an actor who appears and speaks or acts only once (like an oyster he opens but once)
nap-nix (c.1860) an amateur playing minor parts for experience
crawk (1930s) a performer acting as an animal imitator
cabotinage (1894) behaviour typical of a second-rate actor or strolling player, implying a tendency to play to the gallery or overact
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br /> come back Tuesday pseudo-friendly advice from theatrical directors and management to hopefuls really meaning ‘go away!’
flag-fallen (16C) unemployed (used first of actors: the playhouse flag was lowered where there was no performance)
AGAIN FROM THE TOP
Many are the tricks of the trade to be learnt in this most demanding of callings; and theatre has developed a fine jargon to describe it:
swallow the cackle to learn a part
ping to speak one’s lines softly, with no special emphasis
pong to speak in blank verse after forgetting one’s lines
stagger the first rehearsal without a script in one’s hands
wing to fasten one’s script to one of the wing flats or some part of the scenery when one has failed to learn it properly and thus needs an occasional reference during the performance
Mummerset (J. B. Priestley: Festival at Farbridge 1951) fake peasant accents adopted by actors to denote a supposed rural origin (from a mix of Somerset and mummer)
SMOKE AND MIRRORS
Normal costume apart, a range of cunning accessories assist the thespian’s art:
heart the padding out of their tights by acrobats, actors etc. to prevent an otherwise painful fall
wafters (Geordie) swords made with blunt edges for performers
bronteon (Ancient Greek 1849) a device used in theatre or movies to create thunder
scruto (1853) a spring trap-door, flush with the floor of a stage, for a ghost to rise through, for sudden falls and other effects
pepper’s ghost a trick used to create a ‘ghost’ on stage by using an inclined sheet of plate glass onto which an actor can be projected as if ‘walking through air’
bird’s nest crepe wool used to construct false beards
LIGHTS UP
But once you’re out there, darling, all you can do is stick to the script and hope for the best:
ventilator a play so appallingly bad that the audience leaves well before the final curtain, and their seats are filled only with fresh air
exsibilation (1640) the collective hisses of a disapproving audience
handcuffed an actor’s description of an audience who will not applaud
stiff (1930s) a terrible joke, rewarded only by silence
soso (1930s) a joke rewarded by a smile, but not a laugh
gravy easy laughs from a friendly audience
crack the monica (music hall jargon c.1860) to ring the bell to summon a performer to reappear
BUMS ON SEATS
Though you may be deep into your role, you’ll still have one eye on the view beyond the footlights:
plush family empty seats in the auditorium (i.e. the plush-covered seats that can be seen from the stage)
paper the house to give away free theatre tickets in order to fill up an undersubscribed performance
whiskey seats seats on the aisle (popular both with critics, who need to get out before the rush and phone in their reviews, and those who like to escape to the bar when the action palls)
baskets are in a full house (from the one-time practice of leaving the prop baskets as security against the income of a touring company: if the house didn’t guarantee the payment of the theatre’s rent, the props were theoretically forfeit)
MAGIC CIRCLE
But let’s please never forget that the stage is not simply a venue for actors. Other fine artists offer equally enjoyable entertainment:
burn (conjuring jargon) staring at the magician’s hands without averting your gaze, no matter what misdirection is thrown
riffle (conjuring jargon) to let cards come out of the hand, creating a noise
grimoire (French 1849) a magician’s manual of black magic for invoking demons
cultrivorous (1846) actual or illusory knife-swallowing
drollic (1743) pertaining to a puppet show
swazzle (1942) a mouthpiece used by a puppeteer to make the squeaking voice of Mr Punch
MORE WHIFFLE
Other performers don’t even need a stage. From break to Morris dance, a pavement or floor is more than enough:
gaff a dancer’s belt, the protection under his tights for his genitals
garlic (17C) a lively jig
applejack (1980s) a basic move to challenge another breakdancer to a competition, squatting down, falling back onto your hands, and kicking one leg high in the air, then springing back onto both legs
whiffler the man with the whip in Morris dancing
CROONERS
Singers, too, can operate anywhere:
griddle (b.1851) to sing in the streets
woodshedding (1976) spontaneous barbershop singing (originally meaning a place to rehearse music privately)
barcarole (French 1779) a gondolier’s song
rumbelow (1315) a meaningless song or refrain sung by sailors while rowing a boat (e.g. Heave Ho or Hey-Ho)
aubade (Franco-Provençal 1678) a song at sunrise
scolion (Ancient Greek 1603) a song sung in turn by the guests at a banquet
ROCK FOLLIES
Though why be a busker when you could be a star? Or at least get as near to one as possible…
guerrilla gig a performance by a band in an unlikely venue, where they play until they are evicted
mosh to engage in uninhibited, frenzied activities with others near the stage at a rock concert (mosh pit the place near the stage at a rock concert where moshing occurs)
wollyhumper a bouncer employed by a rock band to make sure no fans manage to climb on stage while they play or, if they have climbed up, to throw them down again
résumé on a rope a backstage pass
woodpecker people who nod their heads to the music being played while paying no attention
GOGGLE BOX
There is one contemporary venue where almost all performers are happy to be seen; and behind the scenes in TV land, too, a whole rich lingo has grown up:
toss in television news, an onscreen handover from one host to another
golden rolodex the small handful of experts who are always quoted in news stories and asked to be guests on discussion shows
bambi someone who freezes in front of the camera (like a deer caught in headlights)
clambake the possibility of two or three commentators all talking over each other and thus confusing listeners
goldfishing one politician talking inaudibly in an interview (you can see his lips move but only hear the reporter’s words)
WORD JOURNEYS
explode (16C from Latin) to reject; then (17C) to drive out by clapping, to hiss off the stage
tragedy (16C from Ancient Greek) a goat song
anecdote (from Ancient Greek) unpublished things; then (17C) secret history
charm (from Latin carmen) a song; then (13C) an incantation, the singing or reciting of a verse that was held to have magic power
enthusiasm (from Ancient Greek) divinely inspired; then (17C) possession by a god, poetic frenzy; misguided religious emotion
DIMBOX AND QUOCKERWODGER
Military and political concerns
Soldiers in peace are like
chimneys in summer
(1598)
We all claim to love a peaceful time, but somehow squabbles keep breaking out:
breed-bate (1593) someone looking for an argument
conspue (1890) to spit on someone or something with contempt
cobble-nobble (Shropshire) to rap on the head with the knuckles
donnybrook (1852) a street brawl (named after the famously violent annual Fair in Dublin)
recumbentibus (b.1546) a knock-down blow either verbal or physical
sockdolager (1830) a decisive blow or answer that settles a dispute
SHADOW DANCING
Fights come in all shapes and sizes:
batrachomyomachy (b.1828) a silly and trifling altercation (literally, a battle between frogs and mice)
sciamachy (1623) fighting with a shadow or with an imaginary ene
my
holmgang (1847) a duel to the death fought on an island
ro-sham-bo (US slang 1998) a competition employed to determine the ownership of an object when in dispute (the two parties kick each other in the groin until one falls to the ground: the person left standing wins)
hieromachy (1574) a conflict of ecclesiastics, a fight between persons of the cloth
… and brave the person who tries to come between the opposing parties:
dimbox (Scotland) the ‘smoother-over’ of disputes, an expert at getting others to make up
redder’s lick (Scott: The Abbot 1820) the blow one receives in trying to part combatants
autoclaps (Jamaican English 1970s) trouble that leads to more trouble
GOING REGIMENTAL
When it comes to the bigger disagreements between nations, we still, it seems, need armies to protect us – the perfect breeding ground for specialized lingo and tradition:
boots (b.1811) the youngest officer in a regimental mess, whose duty it is to skink (b.1811) to stir the fire, snuff any candles and ring the bell
militaster (1640) a soldier without military skill or knowledge
egg (early 20C) an inexperienced airman, not yet ‘hatched’
knapsack descent (late 19C) a soldier or soldiers in every generation of a family
alvarado (Tudor-Stuart) the rousing of soldiers at dawn by beating the drum or the firing of a gun
The Wonder of Whiffling Page 10
