swailing (Rutland) wax drips from a candle
smut (Dublin) the remains of a nearly burnt-out candle
catamaran (Devon 1836) anything very rickety and unsafe
swiggle (East Anglia) to shake liquid in an enclosed vessel
noraleg (Shetland Isles 1899) a needle with a broken eye
ROUGHLY SPEAKING
when it comes to describing other aspects of objects, there are some surprisingly useful words out there:
scrawmax (Lincolnshire) anything badly formed or out of shape
ullage (1297) the amount of liquid by which a container falls short of being full
wee-wow (Shropshire) more on one side than on the other, ill-balanced, shaky
cattywampus (US Middle and Southern slang) diagonally across from something else
by scowl of brow (Gloucestershire) judging by the eye instead of by measurement
ostrobogulous (1951) unusual, bizarre, interesting
… as there are for directions too:
widdershins (1513) in the opposite direction, the wrong way
deasil (1771) clockwise, or ‘in the direction of the sun’s course’ (considered by some to bring bad luck)
antisyzgy (1863) a union of opposites
COUNTING SHEEP
Being able to count was a matter of survival long before education for all. Yan Tan Tethera is a numerical sequence once used widely by shepherds in northern England and southern Scotland to count their sheep. It was also used in knitting to count stitches. The words differ according to accent and locale (in the Lake District versions alter according to which valley you find yourself in). In Westmorland it goes like this:
Yan · Tahn · Teddera · Meddera · Pimp (5) · Settera · Lettera · Hovera · Dovera · Dick (10) · Yan Dick · Tahn Dick · Teddera Dick · Meddera Dick · Bumfit (15) · Yan-a-Bumfit · Tahn-a Bumfit · Teddera-Bumfit · Meddera-Bumfit · Jiggot (20)
The monotonous nature of the rhyme, which would have been repeated many times during the day, also supposedly gave rise to the idea of ‘counting sheep’ in order to get off to sleep.
WHO WANTS TO BE A VIGINTILLIONAIRE?
When numbers give way to mathematics, things start to get a bit more daunting:
zenzizenzizenzic (1557) the eighth power of a number
lemniscate (1781) the ∞ or ‘infinity’ symbol
preantepenult (1791) the fourth last
shake a unit of time equal to a hundred-millionth of a second (from top secret operations during the Second World War based on the expression ‘two shakes of a lamb’s tail’, indicating a very short time interval)
vigintillion (1857) the number expressed as a one followed by sixty-three zeros
EVEN STEVENS
Colloquial English takes delight in rhyming expressions, officially known as Reduplicative Rhyming Compounds:
nibby-gibby (Cornwall 1854) touch and go
winky-pinky (Yorkshire) a nursery word for sleepy
hockerty-cockerty (Scotland 1742) with one leg on each shoulder
inchy-pinchy (Warwickshire) the boy’s game of progressive leapfrog
fidge-fadge (Yorkshire) a motion between walking and trotting
boris-noris (Dorset) careless, reckless, happy-go-lucky
wiffle-waffle (Northamptonshire) to whet one’s scythes together
Shropshire, in particular, has some fine examples:
aunty-praunty (Ellesmere) high-spirited, proud
bang-swang (Clee Hills) without thought, headlong
holus-bolus impulsively, without deliberation
opple-scopple (Clun) to scramble for sweets as children do
This is a phenomenon, as these transatlantic modern versions demonstrate:
stitch ’n’ bitch sewing or knitting while exchanging malicious gossip
denture venturer a long trip away from work pre-retirement
chop shop a stolen car disassembly place
zero-hero the designated driver: someone who doesn’t drink alcohol at a social gathering etc. to drive those who do drink home safely
YOUR NUMBER’S UP
In the drugstores of 1930s America, staff often found it easier to talk in numerical code about certain sensitive matters:
13
a boss is roaming
14
a special order
86
we’re out of what was just ordered; to refuse to serve a customer
87½
a pretty woman just walked in
95
a customer is walking out without paying
98
the manager is here
MMMMM…
We all know there are twenty-six letters in the alphabet. But don’t think that’s the end of it:
izzard (Swift 1738) an archaic name for Z
lambdoidal (1653) shaped like the letter L
tittle (1538) the little dot above the letter i (it’s also the name for a pip on dice)
hyoid (1811) having a U shape
octothorpe (US 1960s) the official name of the ‘#’ (aka the hash mark)
annodated (b.1913) anything bent somewhat like the letter S (from heraldry)
mytacism (b.1913) the incorrect or excessive use of the letter M
NEVER ODD OR EVEN: PALINDROMES
The English word palindrome was coined by the playwright Ben Jonson in around 1629 to describe words that read the same forwards as backwards; an ongoing source of fun with phrases too:
no, it is opposition
Niagara, o roar again!
rats live on no evil star
nurse, I spy gypsies, run!
murder for a jar of red rum
harass sensuousness, Sarah
a man, a plan, a canal, Panama
sums are not set as a test on Erasmus
sir, I demand - I am a maid named Iris
a new order began, a more Roman age bred Rowena
SOUND EFFECTS
Noises sometimes seem to defy description. But not in this language:
fremescence (Thomas Carlyle 1837) an incipient roaring
rimbombo (1873) a booming roar
cloop (1848) drawing a cork from a bottle
amphoric (1839) the hollow sound produced by blowing across the mouth of a bottle
wheep (Kipling: Life’s Hand 1891) a steel weapon when drawn from a sheath
callithumpian (1836) a big parade, usually accompanied by a band of discordant instruments
rip-rap (1894 fireworks detonating)
swabble (1848) water being sloshed around
crepitation (1656) the crackling and popping sound of a wood fire
jarg (1513) the creaking of a door or gate
juck-cum-peng (Jamaican English 1943) a wooden-legged person walking
whiffle (1972) a soft sound as of gently moving air or water
TINCTURE
We can all name the primary colours: red, yellow and blue; not to mention the secondaries: purple, green and orange; after that, it’s anyone’s guess:
gamboge (1634) bright yellow (from gum-resin)
fulvous (1664) tawny, yellow tinged with red
ianthine (1609) violet coloured
glaucous (1671) a pale green passing into greyish blue
nacreous (1841) a pearly lustre
lyard (Chaucer c.1386) silvery grey almost white
VERY FLAT, NORFOLK
Dialects have their own words for colour, often reflecting the landscapes they come from:
blake (Cumberland) a yellowish golden colour
bazzom (Newfoundland) purplish tint, heather-coloured; of flesh, blue or discoloured
watchet (Midlands 1891) light blue
dunduckytimur (Norfolk and Suffolk) a dull, indescribable colour
UP BETIMES
Time waits for no man. So we might as well be certain precisely what we mean:
ughten (971) the dusk just before dawn
blue o’clock in the morning (1886) pre-dawn, when black sky gives way to pur
ple
beetle-belch (RAF jargon) an ungodly hour
sparrow-fart (b.1910) daybreak, very early morning
beever (Sussex) eleven o’clock luncheon
upright and downstraight (Sussex) bedtime when the clock says six
blind-man’s-holiday (Shropshire) twilight
cockshut (1594) evening time
PROVIDENTIAL
If you want something to come off well, choose your date with care:
Egyptian day (Yorkshire) an unlucky day, a Friday, which was a day of abstinence
pully-lug day (Cumberland 1886) a day on which traditionally ears might be pulled with impunity
cucumber time (b.1810) the quiet season in the tailoring trade (hence the expression tailors are vegetarians as they live on cucumber when without work)
Saint Tibb’s Eve (Cornwall) a day that never comes
when hens make holy water (1631) never
THINGUMMY
When all is said and done, however, there are just some things that remain very hard to put your finger on:
oojiboo (1918) an unnamed thing, a whatsit
feelimageeries (Scotland 1894) knick-knacks, odds and ends
hab nab (1580) at random, at the mercy of chance, hit or miss
gazodjule (Australian slang) a name for an object of which one cannot remember the name
floccinaucinihilipilification (1741) the categorizing of something that is useless or trivial
WORD JOURNEYS
point-blank (16C from French) a white spot (as in a target)
punctual (14C from Latin) pertinent to a point or dot
normal (17C from Latin via French) rectangular, perpendicular
paraphernalia (17C from Ancient Greek) articles of personal property which the law allows a married woman to regard as her own
algebra (14C from Arabic via Medieval Latin) the reunion of broken parts
The Wonder of Whiffling Page 13
