by Lane Hart
When it’s time to leave work, I try to figure out whether or not I should say anything to Maggie. I don’t want to upset her, but at the same time I want her to know, and I want answers. It doesn’t hit me how pissed I still am at seeing her with another man until I walk into the house and the door slams behind me much louder than I intended, making me cringe.
“Sorry,” I say to Maggie and Camden who is thankfully awake and lying on the living room floor on his mat.
“Everything okay?” Maggie asks, looking concerned with a crease between her eyebrows.
“Not really, no,” I admit as I sink into the sofa seat. It’s not even my usual seat, but it was the closest seat available, and I feel like my legs may collapse.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, getting off the floor to sit on her knees next to me on the sofa. Smelling her familiar floral scent, I relax a little and reach for her, pulling her to my chest.
“Someone sent me a picture today.”
“Oh?” she lifts her head and asks.
“Of you.”
“Me?” she exclaims. “Who sent it?”
“I dunno,” I tell her when I pull out my phone and thumb through until I find it. “I sent a message back asking who they are, but didn’t get a response. Are you sure you want to see it?”
“Yes, of course I want to see it, if it’s me.”
I offer the phone to her, and as soon as it touches her hand she gasps and covers her mouth.
“Oh my God,” she whispers. “Who…why?”
“No clue,” I tell her. “Who took it, Maggie?”
She shakes her head slowly back and forth, her eyes never leaving the screen. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know?” I ask, raising my voice. “Who did you let fuck you and take pictures?”
“Jordan!” she reprimands, and reels back when she finally looks me in the eyes. “Why are you yelling at me?”
“Tell me, Maggie.”
She stands up and tosses my phone next to me on the sofa cushion she just vacated. “I-I don’t know. Unless Jason…I don’t think he would’ve done that.”
“Who else have you been with?” I ask through clenched teeth.
“No one! He’s the only one for the last few years,” she says with watery eyes. I want to believe her, I do, but the insanely jealous voice in my mind has doubts. “You don’t believe me,” she mutters softly when I stay silent.
“This picture...” I start and scrub my hand down my face. “I don’t like it, Maggie.”
“I don’t like it either!” she exclaims so loudly that Camden starts to cry. Going over to pick him up she says, “They had no right…”
“Maybe you were drunk and just don’t remember.” The words are hurled from my mouth without my permission, causing Maggie to tense up with the baby in her arms.
“I’m not a virgin, obviously,” she says, her face turning red in anger or embarrassment. “But I’m guessing you’re not either. How many women have you been with, Jordan? Because right now you’re being such a hypocrite.”
She’s right, I know that. “I haven’t been with that many women, but I remember all of them,” I say, which probably doesn’t help the situation at all. “And I know none of them took pictures of me while we were fucking.”
“He may only be a baby, but you need to stop talking like that in front of him!” she admonishes, and that’s the last straw.
“If I can’t say what I want in my own house, then fine, I’ll leave!” I bark before I’m out of my seat and out the door. Once I sit down in my truck, I don’t even know where to go. There’s only one place I want to be, and I just seriously fucked things up. Maybe both of us just need to take a few minutes to calm down.
…
Maggie
The tears I was barely holding back flow freely once the door slams with Jordan’s sudden escape. He’s never talked to me that way before. It’s so unlike him. The normally laid back, sweet guy was angry and rude, all because of some picture. A picture that I’ve never seen before, and didn’t know existed, until Jordan showed it to me. Then it felt like the world crashed down around me.
Of course my first thought was Jason, but I never remember him taking a picture. I’m not saying he didn’t, but it seems unlike him. He can be an asshole, but he would never take a picture and not tell me. Unlike Josh.
Oh my God. That one night that he took photos was years ago, and I had been wearing my homecoming dress, not naked like the picture Jordan just showed me. Maybe later that night…ugh. I don’t want to admit to Jordan that I slept with Josh, his other brother, to make his youngest brother jealous. That was slutty and stupid, and of course I regret it now, especially if he took the picture that night.
When Jordan doesn’t come home for dinner, I eat and then cover the fried chicken and sides to put them in the refrigerator in case he’s hungry when he comes home. I assume he’ll come back tonight. Since I’m still pissed at him, I consider sleeping in the guest bedroom, but that’s the bitchy thing to do. So after Camden’s nine-thirty bottle, I put him down to sleep, and crawl into Jordan’s big, empty bed without him.
My chest aches from how much I miss him, and I wish that he hadn’t seen that stupid picture. I don’t want to argue with him, especially over something from the past that doesn’t matter.
Just as I’m about to fall asleep, I hear the front door open softly, and then shut and lock back. It’s dark in the bedroom, so I can’t see Jordan when he comes in. I can only hear the shuffle of clothing when he gets undressed. His sigh is heavy before he slips underneath the covers and reaches for me. I nearly sob in relief that’s he’s touching me again after our fight. When he pulls me against him, I easily go, snuggling against his chest.
“I’m sorry,” he says into my hair, followed by a kiss. “I know I overreacted, but seeing you with someone else made me feel crazy.”
“It’s okay,” I tell him, pressing a kiss to his chest.
“It’s not okay, and I want to punch whoever sent it, but even Caleb’s friend who is a police officer said it’s a random-ass Google number that he can’t trace without a court order.”
I debate telling him about Josh, about the night of homecoming, and the stupid decision I made. But when he kisses my lips, everything else flies out the window. There’s no reason to cause even more problems between us, so I give in to the moment and let Jordan make love to me, deciding to stop letting a stupid picture, or one of his brothers, come between us again tonight.
…
The next morning I wake up warm and happy in the empty bed. Jordan’s gone to work; but it’s Friday, so once he comes home tonight, we’ll have the whole weekend together. I decide to make his favorite, blackberry cobbler, for dessert; and we’ll figure out dinner later on.
Camden’s been sleeping six and sometimes seven hours, so that means I only get up once in the middle of the night around four or five in the morning to feed him. The much needed rest makes me feel human again. Everything seems to be perfect…until around lunchtime when I check my emails.
As soon as I see the email from the lab with the paternity results I quickly open it. When I read the most important sentence, the phone drops from my hand, forgotten, falling to the floor. I feel so sick that I rush to the bathroom and lose everything in my stomach from breakfast and lunch, maybe everything I’ve ever eaten.
This must be a mistake. It has to be. Labs make mistakes all the time, right?
Feeling a bit more optimistic that someone there screwed up, I pull myself off the floor and go retrieve my phone from where it was tossed. My hands shake so much that it takes several times to just click on the link to call the number of the lab.
“You’ve made a mistake,” I interrupt the greeting of the woman answering the phone.
“Ah, excuse me? How can I help you?”
“The test…it can’t be right. He is the father.”
“Oh, you’re calling about the results of a paternity test? I und
erstand if you’re upset, but our tests are…”
“Wrong! Your tests are wrong!” I exclaim into the phone as tears roll down my cheeks. “You’re ruining everything!”
Oh, God. Jordan will get the email too. He’s gonna be so angry, especially after last night. But I can make him understand. We can do another test, maybe at a different place. Only Jason’s not here to give another sample. The phone slips from my hand again and I sink to the floor in front of the couch, knowing no matter what I tell him, I just know in my heart that I’m about to lose Jordan for good.
…
Jordan
I keep checking my phone for texts, but there’s still nothing from Maggie. It’s unlike her not to send a few throughout the day. Maybe she’s still pissed about our argument yesterday, but I thought we were fine after I tried to make it up to her by apologizing last night, twice, when I got home. The makeup sex was incredible and seemed to wipe the slate clean again. She must have thought differently in the light of the day, because it’s not like she’s too busy to send a sentence or two in a message while Camden’s napping.
It’s the end of the work day when I check my phone again, and it shows nothing new from Maggie despite my several attempts to reach out to her. There are a few emails, so I open those up, figuring they’re all junk, until I see the name of the testing lab. Opening it, I quickly read through the greeting and skip down to the important part. I re-read the sentence over and over again trying to make sense of it.
“Jason Young is EXCLUDED as the biological father”
Excluded. Excluded? Does that mean what I’m assuming it does? Omitted? Left out? He’s NOT Camden’s father? How the fuck…
She lied.
Maggie lied to me. She told me she hadn’t been with anyone else. She told me Camden was Jason’s, and I believed her. For weeks, she lied to me. Weeks!
I feel like such a fucking fool. Jason was telling the truth. He hadn’t been with her, and knew without a doubt that it wasn’t his baby. But not me. I fell for the shit. Not only that, I fell for her, so much so that I thought I was in love with her. A woman who hasn’t been telling me the truth from the beginning, but is living with me, and living off of me!
The anger builds until I lash out. My entire wooden desk crashes to the floor. The computer, keyboard, phone, paperwork all scatter. My chest is still heaving with my panting breaths as a crowd of my coworkers gather around my door. I push past them, needing to escape and unable to talk to anyone.
When I get to my truck, I try to figure out what the fuck to do now, but my mind is blank with nothing but pure, blinding rage. I can’t go back to my house with her there. I’m too upset, and I don’t want to chance taking it out on her. So once I calm down enough to speak, I release my death grip on the phone still in my hand and call Jake.
“Jordy! How’s it going?” my brother answers. The only one I haven’t pushed away because of that lying…
“I need you or Addy to come up here. Right now.”
“Okay, yeah, we can both come. What’s wrong?” he asks.
“She lied to me. The baby’s not Jason’s.”
“What the fuck?” he exclaims, sounding almost as shocked as I was. “Are you sure? I mean, don’t labs sometimes make mistakes?”
“Jason knew he wasn’t the father and didn’t balk at taking the test. He was certain…and I didn’t believe him.”
“Wow. I don’t know what to say, Jordan. I’m sorry,” Jake tells me softly. “What do you need us to do?”
“Get them out of my house. I don’t…I can’t face her right now.”
“Yeah, okay, sure. We’re on our way.”
“Thanks,” I tell him. “I’m…I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but I can’t…”
“Don’t worry about it,” he assures me. “Where should we take them, though?”
“I don’t know,” I tell him, closing my eyes, and rubbing my temple that feels like it might explode. I can’t throw them out on the street, even if the baby’s not Jason’s. “A hotel for a few nights, until I can find her an apartment, I guess.”
“Okay, we can do that. You don’t owe her anything, though…”
“I know, but Camden didn’t do anything wrong. He doesn’t deserve to suffer for her lies.” And a stupid little part of me can’t stand the thought of not taking care of Maggie, even if I hate her at the moment.
“She’s lucky you’re a nice guy,” he says with a huff. “If it was me…well, anyway. I’ll let you know when we get there.”
“Okay. Maybe I’ll call Caleb and see if I can crash with him, get out of the city for the night.”
“Sounds like that might be a good idea. Talk to you later, Jordy.”
“Thanks again, Jake,” I tell him before I end the call and try to reach Caleb.
…
Maggie
There’s a knock on the front door just before it opens. I look up from where I’m feeding Camden on the sofa, not all that surprised to see Addison and Jake instead of Jordan. He would’ve gotten off work at least two hours ago, if he didn’t have to work over, but he never came home.
“Hey, Maggie. How are you doing?” Addison asks, her face solemn when she sits down next to me.
I can only shake my head in response and bite my trembling bottom lip.
“Jordan called and told Jake about the paternity results,” she says, and I nod, assuming as much. “He wants us to take you and Camden to a hotel for a few days.”
A gut-wrenching sob bursts from my mouth after hearing what I feared the most. He’s kicking us out. Out of his house. Out of his life. It hurts too much to think of not being near him ever again. I love him so much, and with one sentence, in a single email, my heart was ripped from my chest.
Addison takes Camden from my arms, and I cry into a sofa pillow, wondering what I did to deserve this god-awful life. Just when everything was perfect…it was all ripped away.
“He’s…Jason’s. I-I wasn’t…with anyone else,” I tell Addison through the sobs.
“We’ve called the lab to see if there could have been some sort of error or mix-up, but they assured us the results are accurate.”
The next thing I know, I’m in the backseat of a car with Camden, and then we’re walking into a room at a hotel on the other side of town. I can’t help but wonder if it was chosen to put as much distance as possible between us and Jordan.
“Do you need anything? You can order room service for whatever food you need,” Addison tells me. I sink down onto the bed and watch silently as Jake carries in all of my and Camden’s things. It’s not much, just his pack and play, swing, car seat, diapers and our clothes.
Addison pulls out some bills from her purse and sits it on the table beside the bed. “I’ll leave you my number, too,” she says, jotting it down on the hotel notepad.
“Addison,” Jake says, the first word I’ve heard him speak all afternoon. He hasn’t even looked in my direction, and I can feel the anger pouring off of him. If he’s that pissed off, I can’t imagine how mad Jordan must be. Probably nuclear level. I can’t say I blame him. If I was in his shoes…I couldn’t imagine how upset he is, thinking I lied to him. But the thing is, I didn’t lie, and now there’s nothing I can do to prove that to him.
“We’re gonna go, but call if you need anything,” Addison says before joining Jake where he’s holding open the room door.
The loneliness once it shuts is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. This morning when I woke up everything was perfect, well, other than the reminder of one horrible photo. And now…now it’s like I’m living a nightmare. I’ve been kicked out of Jordan’s house and life and deemed a liar by the first person who ever loved me.
I put Camden in his car seat while I get his bed ready, and put our things away. I don’t intend to be here long. Tomorrow I’ll start looking for a job, a new beginning to try and get past this huge, depressing, setback. But tonight, tonight I’ll cry and mourn the loss of the family, the father, Camden almost ha
d.
…
Jordan
“Jordan, man. How’s it going?” Caleb asks when I wander into the living room Saturday morning after spending the night in his and Lauren’s spare room. He’s watching a sports channel while Lauren cleans the kitchen.
I plop down into one of their recliners and groan after it feels like the trek from the bedroom to here was a million miles.
“That bad, huh?” Caleb answers his own question.
Nodding, I close my eyes and lean my head back, exhausted beyond belief since I wasn’t able to sleep any last night. I tossed and turned, thinking about Maggie. And Camden. Wondering if they were okay, and then wanting to kick myself in the ass for caring. They’re not my problem anymore. Sure, I’m gonna help her find an apartment and even buy her a car so she can have some way to get around, but they’re no longer my concern. Or at least they shouldn’t be.
“I’m sorry,” Caleb says again. “You seemed so certain that she was telling the truth, and then to find out…man, that’s the worst.”
“The thing is,” I start to tell him. “I want to hate her, like really fucking hate her for lying to me. But I just can’t, and I don’t know why.”
“Because you care about her, right?” he asks. “That shit doesn’t up and disappear when you find out she lied to you. Honestly, it sucks because when you really care about someone, when you love them, they can do some fucked up shit to you, and you’ll forgive them no matter what.”
“I can’t forgive her,” I say automatically.
“Maybe not right now. It’s too fresh. But in a few days or weeks you might be able to.”
“I don’t see that happening,” I tell him.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t either,” he says with a glance over at Lauren. “Did I ever tell you how Lauren and I ended up together?”
“Caleb!” Lauren shouts in warning.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. That’s all water under the bridge now.”
“It can’t have been that bad,” I mutter. “I mean, you married her.”
“Ha!” he barks out a laugh and leans back in his chair, getting comfortable. “Let me start from the beginning.”
