One who has lived long beyond her lifespan. One who has felt the touch of a god. You know what this is.
I tensed, pushing the thought away. No. Not that. Not ever that. I wouldn’t even think it—couldn’t think it, not even to myself and certainly not aloud. The thought alone was too terrible, the consequences too dire if it were true.
I tried to smooth the expression on my face, turn it jovial. “Now what are you going to tell me about yourself? After what I’ve revealed, it ought to be good.”
She took another sip slowly, looking away from me down to where her free hand was resting on her leg. I glanced down, took in the long, delicate fingers, the chipped nails free of polish. I wanted to reach out and take it, entwine my fingers with hers and feel the warmth of her palm against mine, but I didn’t dare. Not yet.
“You’re right,” she said finally. “I did come here because I want you, and I hoped you would be here.” She set her glass down, folding her hands in her lap. “I have secrets, Toven,” she said, looking squarely at me. “Secrets that I cannot tell you, not now, and perhaps not ever.”
I felt that sharp dart of fear in my chest, the prickling of the thought at the back of my mind. She has lived long beyond her lifespan…
“But I can tell you that I believe in all of the things you say you are,” she continued, her voice hesitant. “We came to this town because we believed that it would be safe. I know that the men that I love will believe you’re a threat to that safety. And so I feel guilty, because I know that they would not want me to take this risk and yet…” she spread her hands out helplessly. “I am here.” She shook her head. “I believe that sometimes there are more to things than what we see, and I know that there is something drawing us together. I can only hope that I am doing the right thing, and not dooming us all by being here.”
I pressed my lips together, not looking away. “How would you being here doom you? That seems…extreme.” I wanted to say dramatic, but I didn’t want to offend her. I could feel how tenuous her presence here was, and I didn’t want to scare her away.
She flinched, and I regretted saying even that much. “I can’t tell you anything else,” she said, her voice tense. “I shouldn’t even be here at all.”
“I won’t ask questions,” I said gently. “Everyone in this town is running from something, Ravenna. Everyone here has a story. Yours might be better than most or worse, it doesn’t matter to me.”
She has been touched by another god…
I dared to reach for her hand then. I felt her hesitate for a second, as if she were going to pull her hand away, and then I felt her fingers thread through mine. I wanted to pull her to me and kiss her, but I knew I had to move slowly. It was the most exquisite torture.
“Why me?” she whispered. “If you are what you say you are, you could have anyone you want. In this town, there’s a thousand women more beautiful than me, and less complicated.” She frowned, her brow creasing. “Is it just the chase? Do you just want me because I’ve played hard to get, and you’re not accustomed to being held at arm’s length?”
“No,” I said firmly. “I have existed for far too long to enjoy games, Ravenna. It’s true that sometimes good things don’t come easily, but I have no taste for pursuing women who don’t want me. If that were truly the case, I would let you go and bother you no more. But I don’t believe that it is, or am I wrong?”
She looked at me, her dark eyes wide and troubled, and she shook her head. “No, you’re not wrong. But Toven…”
“You are wrong about one thing, however,” I continued, cutting her off. “In this whole city, there is not one woman as beautiful as you.”
17
Toven
I did pull her to me then, moving closer as my hand slid around the back of her head, and she didn’t resist. Her hair was so soft, coming out of her braid in pieces, and I caressed the corner of her jaw with my thumb as I leaned forward, brushing my lips over her mouth.
She gasped softly when my mouth touched hers, and I felt my skin prickle at the sound, desire sparking in my blood. I could taste the remnants of the scotch on her lips, and I tightened my fingers around hers, feeling the squeeze of her hand in return as she leaned into the kiss. “I want you,” I whispered raggedly as I pulled back slightly, a breath of space between us. “Come upstairs with me. Don’t go this time.”
Her voice was shaky when she spoke, breathless, and I thought I had never heard anything more arousing. “I want to,” she whispered. “I want to, but…”
“No buts. Not this time.” I was dangerously close to begging, but the thought of her getting up and leaving…my body ached at the thought. I wanted her more than I had ever wanted anyone in all of my existence, and that both terrified me, and made me feel more alive than I had known I possibly could.
Perhaps that was what made me want her so much, I thought. She made me feel like a flesh and blood man, not an ethereal being spoken into existence, housed in a shell that did the work of the Fates.
I could feel the faint tremble in her fingers, still curled around mine. She hadn’t let go of my hand. “Don’t go,” I whispered again, leaning towards her. Her perfume was intoxicating—something clean and fresh, like grass after it rains.
I felt her make the decision. She breathed in, and for a moment I was suspended there, wondering what choice she would make. I knew that if she chose to leave this time, she would not seek me out again. She would be gone forever.
Then she reached out, untangling her fingers from mine and cupping my face in both of her hands, and she kissed me. She kissed me as I have never been kissed before or by any woman since, her hands cradling my face as she pressed her lips to mine, and I felt slightly dizzy.
I had tried for so very, very long not to fall in love. I thought I had dodged it, that after so many centuries, I would never be caught in its grasp. But with that one searing kiss, I knew that if I let this go on, I would fall for this woman. Whoever she was, whatever her secrets were, whatever terrible past she and her other lovers were running from…I would fall in love with her. It wouldn’t matter the consequences, it wouldn’t matter what she—or they—had done, it wouldn’t matter if even the unthinkable thing that I had, for a moment, considered were true.
Or I could stop it now, tell her to go, and not take her upstairs. If I went to bed with her, I would be lost, and I knew it. But how could I stop? She was breathing faster, her fingers circling around the back of my head to thread into my hair, and as I felt her tongue slide along my lower lip, the sharp taste of the scotch lingering, I knew it was too late. I could not go back.
I fought the urge to pull her into my lap then and there, to have her straddling me on the velvet bench in one of the fanciest hotels in Las Vegas. She was kissing me in earnest, a small moan escaping her lips as she leaned into me, her fingers trailing down my neck, back up into the soft hair at the base of my neck. I gripped the edge of the bench, feeling slightly out of control. If I touched her now…I wasn’t at all sure that we’d make it to my room, and I didn’t think Ravenna would fancy a night in jail for public indecency.
She pulled back from the kiss, her face confused. “Toven?” She reached for my hand, tracing her fingers down the back of it. “Is this not what you want?”
I let out a sharp, short bark of a laugh. “Gods, Ravenna, you have no idea.”
Her expression was almost wounded. “You aren’t touching me. I thought…”
“If I touch you, I’ll have you here, on this bench, in front of the bartender and anyone else who cares to walk in.” I swallowed hard, my gaze roving hungrily over her. I could see the rise and fall of her breasts beneath the thin cotton of her t-shirt, and a fresh wave of lust washed over me, my cock pressing uncomfortably against the confines of my jeans. “Let’s go upstairs,” I said hoarsely, and I did reach out to her then, cupping the side of her face in my palm and running my thumb softly over her lower lip.
I felt her lips close over the tip of my thumb, sucking
ever so slightly as her tongue flicked over it, her eyes darting up to meet mine wickedly, and I made a small, strangled sound as my cock hardened yet again, throbbing with the need to be touched.
She stood without saying a word, reaching for my hand, and I followed her, feeling almost drunk. She went straight to the elevator, and it felt like an eternity as we waited for it to arrive, the blinking light taunting me as it counted off each floor. I felt suddenly guilty as I thought of the men and women I’d taken up there already. I wanted to take her somewhere else, somewhere new, but then the elevator was there, chiming as the doors opened, and she was pulling me inside.
The moment the doors closed, I turned and grabbed her waist, pushing her up against the baroque-papered wall of the elevator, one hand going to her hair as I kissed her hard. Her lips parted, my tongue plunging into her mouth as I undid her braid, my fingers running through all of her thick dark hair until it was in a wavy cloud around her face. She kissed me back, her finger hooking through my belt loop as she pulled me hard up against her, hips arching up as she felt the rigid line of my cock through my jeans. I gasped, my own hips thrusting involuntarily in an echo of what I planned to be doing to her very, very soon.
If only this damned elevator would hurry up.
It came to a halt, chiming cheerfully as it reached my floor, and I released her, taking a step back.
She looked gorgeous and unkempt, her hair wild around her face, her lips pink and slightly swollen, her lipstick all but gone. She’d dropped her bag to the floor, and she was leaning against the wall, her hand going to her chest as it rose and fell rapidly. I could have stared at her forever.
The doors opened, and she scrambled for her things, scooping the clothes that had fallen out back into the bag and following me out of the elevator. I felt her hand on the small of my back, sliding around to my waist, and I felt a sudden warmth that had nothing to do with lust. It was a simple, affectionate gesture, and as I tried to remember the last time someone had touched me like that, I realized that I could not. Not in recent memory.
I fumbled for my room key, managing with some difficulty to get it into the slot, and we tumbled into my room, the door closing heavily behind us as I turned towards Ravenna. She dropped her bag, reaching for me at the same time as I did her, and I pulled her to me, my hands sliding beneath her shirt to run over the soft skin of her stomach, her back, up to the hook of her bra.
It was a relief in and of itself to be able to touch her like this at last. The room was silent and still, the curtains halfway open so that the lights from the city shone in, illuminating the darkness enough for me to see her. She shrugged her jacket off, letting it join the rest of her things on the carpet, and I slowly pushed her shirt up, my hands never leaving her skin as I ran them up the curve of her waist, brushing over the smooth fabric of her bra as I tugged the garment over her head and tossed it aside. She was wearing a lavender lace bra beneath the t-shirt, the faint outline of her nipple visible beneath the lace, and I touched them gently, tracing the shape of her breasts with my fingers as I stepped closer, kissing her again as I began to learn the contours of her body.
“Not fair,” she whispered against my mouth as she ran a hand down my chest. “I want to see you, too.”
I stepped back then, breaking the kiss with some effort, and I let her touch me as I had her. I shivered at the first touch of her fingers against my bare skin, and I heard her small indrawn breath of pleasure as she lifted my shirt over my head and saw my bare chest. She moved closer, running her fingers over the dark hair on my chest, down the flat plane of my abdomen, along the edge of my jeans. “You’re so handsome,” she whispered softly as she brushed her lips over mine, her hands going to the buckle of my belt. “I wonder what the rest looks like?”
I reached for the button of her jeans at the same time, and it became a race to see who could undress the other first. She undid my belt with nimble fingers, while my own felt thick and clumsy, as if I’d never taken off a woman’s clothing before. Somehow, I got her out of them, and she kicked them away. I stood there with my own jeans half undone, wanting to take in every perfect inch of her.
She was wearing black lace panties, and she laughed self-consciously as she saw my gaze drop, her hands running over her hips. “I wasn’t expecting anyone new to see me naked when I got dressed this morning,” she said, chewing on her lower lip. “I would have worn something that matched.”
“You look perfect,” I assured her.
“So do you.” Her voice was husky as she looked at me, her hands going to my chest again, her fingers running through the curly hair. “I like this,” she said softly, leaning in to kiss my neck, her lips soft against my skin. “I want to see the rest.”
I obliged, pushing my jeans off, and I felt her hand slide down my naked hip as my cock sprang free. Her fingers were only inches away, and I had to actively keep myself from begging her to touch me. I was aching, the anticipation making me feel half-crazed. I shivered as her fingers trailed over my abdomen, and when she finally touched me, the tips of her fingers brushing over the rock-hard shaft, I groaned aloud, my hands tightening on her waist as I pressed my mouth to her neck as she had done to me, the scent of her filling my nostrils, enveloping me.
Her hand wrapped around me, sliding upwards as her tongue swept into my mouth and she pressed me back against the dresser, the television on it rocking dangerously as I stumbled backwards. I wanted to touch her everywhere at once, and I buried one hand in her thick hair, pulling her mouth hard against mine as my hips thrust into her hand, my moans spilling into her mouth as she gasped, breathless from kissing.
“Bed,” she managed, pulling back slightly and teasingly pushing at my hip, releasing her grip on my cock. I missed her hand the second it was gone, but when I thought of what might take its place…
I started to reply, but the silence in the room was suddenly broken by the sound of her phone ringing. It was the theme of a popular, cheesy sci-fi television show, and I stifled a laugh as she turned pink. “Ignore it,” she said. “It’s probably nothing important.”
“Are you sure?” The phone was still ringing, and I hesitated, glancing towards her bag. “Maybe you should get it.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want,” she trailed off, but I knew the gist of what she had been about to say. She didn’t want anything to disturb what we had here, the bubble of fantasy that we’d wrapped ourselves in. Who knew what would happen when she left? We both knew this might not extend past tonight.
She was about to step towards me when the phone rang once again, and she sighed, her shoulders sagging. “I guess I should answer it,” she said softly, and when she raised her eyes to meet mine, I saw regret there. Whether it was regret that our night was likely about to end…or regret that she had come here at all, I had no idea.
18
Ravenna
I took one more long, regretful look at Toven before I turned away, anxiety rising in my chest as I reached for my bag and dug in it for my phone. I half-wished I had turned it off before entering the hotel…but what if something really was wrong? It wasn’t like Kavi or Isa to call and check up on me, and the only other people who had my phone number were our landlord and my boss. I didn’t see why either of them would be calling me at this hour.
I finally located it on the fourth ring, and picked it up to see Kavi’s name flashing across the screen. My heart sank as I flipped it open and lifted it to my ear. “Hello?” I said, my voice tight with nervousness. “Kavi, is something wrong?”
“Where are you, Ravenna?” His voice was sharp, laced with fear and something else—anger? I hadn’t heard him sound so upset in a very long time, and my pulse leapt into my throat, lodging there in a hard knot.
“With a friend, “I said, trying to keep my voice level. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I didn’t think Kavi’s mood would be at all improved by learning I was with a strange man—and even less so if he mentioned it to Isa, and found
out about Toven’s visit to the Mine Shaft.
“I need you to come home.”
“Why? What’s wrong?” I heard Toven shuffle behind me, his nails drumming against the wood of the dresser, and I wanted so badly to rewind the clock, to go back to just a few minutes before when I’d had him pinned against that dresser, and no thought in my mind except how long it would take to get to the bed.
“I don’t want to talk about it over the phone,” Kavi said sharply. “Just please, come home, Ravenna. I can’t get ahold of Isa at work, so please, if you could, try to call him or text him on your way back. It’s important.”
“O…okay.” I hesitated, but I could think of nothing else to get him to tell me what was going on. “I’ll leave in just a few minutes.”
“Please hurry, Ravenna.” Some of the anger had leaked out of his voice, and he just sounded tired.
“I will,” I promised. “Kavi…I love you.” I didn’t care in that moment that Toven could hear me. If something really was wrong, I didn’t want to risk not saying it. I didn’t want him to ever wonder if it was true.
“I love you too, Ravenna,” he said quietly, and then the line went dead.
I slowly lowered the phone, turning to face Toven. His expression was resigned, and I knew that he already knew I would have to leave. “I’m sorry,” I started to say, but he shook his head, reaching for his jeans. He had them up and fastened before I could turn away, and he crossed the room to me quickly before I could move, reaching for my hand. “It’s alright, Ravenna,” he said quietly. “I know I’m not the only person in your life, and certainly not the most important. I know I can’t ever be that. Whatever these men are to you—the shifter, or the one you just spoke to, I don’t want to take their place in your life, or your heart.” He hesitated, and I bit my lip, wishing more than anything that I didn’t have to leave. But he was right. If it came down to a choice between staying here and knowing if my men were safe…I would leave, every time. I wanted Toven, even had the beginnings of feeling something more for him, but he wasn’t one of the men I had devoted my life to.
Pursued by the Gods Page 10
