by Carol Ross
He remained silent and Hannah felt her spirits sink. She hadn’t meant to put him on the spot; she just felt compelled to help with Lucas in some way. Then a light seemed to flick on in his eyes while his mouth slowly furled upwards into a smile. She felt this sensation deep inside of her, and as their eyes met she wondered if he felt it, too.
“That would be great. We’d love to come. Just the thought of showing Lucas how Christmas should be... To be perfectly honest, I’m not even sure how it should be. I bought him a bunch of gifts but...”
The feeling grew stronger, like a magnet urging her toward him. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him that she would be there for him, and that she could—she would—help him with Lucas and give them all a wonderful Christmas.
A practical thought nudged its way into her brain; a sobering, cruel, rational thought that had to do with Snowy Sky. How much of herself could she really give to him with this business between them? Would compromising with Snowy Sky mean compromising everything she’d worked so hard for? Would it mean sacrificing her dream to have a chance with Tate? Okay, Hannah, getting a little ahead of yourself here.
“What did you get him?”
She felt her eyes widen as Tate began to recite the list.
“So, essentially the entire inventory of a toy store?”
The way his mouth curved upwards when he was fighting a smile was just...
“Well, he didn’t have anything when I got him. One tiny suitcase, a few books and a stuffed bear.”
“Let me see.”
“What?”
“The gifts? Where did you hide them? Let’s go take a look.”
She followed him upstairs, through his room and into the enormous walk-in closet, which was currently stacked with a colossal array of boxes, bags and loose items. She resisted the urge to make another joke because she knew how much love he had put into this endeavor. But...
She looked around, trying to decide how best to say it, finally deciding on honesty. “Tate, this is too much.”
“You think?” He scratched his head, seemingly perplexed.
She gave it to him straight. “Yes. I do. This is more than any child needs.”
She sat on the floor and patted the ground next to her. “Sit.”
He lowered himself beside her and Hannah wondered why the closet suddenly seemed smaller, more intimate, while huddled on the floor close to him. His knee grazed hers and she tried to distract herself with sorting the toys.
“We’ll put a pile of smaller things here for Lucas’s stocking. You did get him a stocking, right?”
“Yes, I bought one your cousin knitted. Lilah has some for sale in the bakery.”
She had to admit he was serious about showing his support for the community. “Oh, how sweet, and I’m sure it’s beautiful. So, let’s go over the things Lucas has talked about, or expressed an interest in, or that you know that he’ll love.”
She picked up a big stuffed lion. “I think we can safely place this in the ‘keep” pile.”
He agreed and they began sorting, talking and laughing—putting some gifts aside for Lucas’s birthday, a few for his Easter basket and a few more to surprise him with over the coming months.
Tate studied the giant stack of gifts piled up on one side of the closet. “What do I do with the rest of these?”
“You can return them or you could donate some. There are so many kids out there, right here in our valley, in fact, who would love even one of these toys.”
Hannah flashed him a cautious smile. “Which reminds me. I have a confession to make.”
Tate narrowed his eyes at her. “Yeah?”
“Um, remember how you accused me of being passive-aggressive?”
He grinned. “Don’t worry about it. I already know you knew I was coming to the Festival of Trees.”
“Not that,” she said. “But I don’t regret that, because you look really nice in a suit.”
He chuckled even as the air seemed to thicken between them.
She nibbled on her lip, wondering how this would go over. Would he be angry?
“What?” he asked.
“The phone bidder at the auction? That was me. Well, it was a friend. I had her drive up the price on the tree.”
He quirked a brow. “Really?”
She nodded and tried to look contrite. “Yes. I’m sorry.”
“Are you?”
“Should I be? I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for a really great cause.”
He tipped his head back and laughed. “It’s fine. It was worth every penny. You should have seen his face when he saw it. Priceless.”
Hannah wasn’t sure what she’d expected. But this easygoing reaction and the love he had for Lucas just endeared him to her more.
She needed to get out of this closet before she not so passively-aggressively confessed all and threw herself into his arms.
She stood to stretch out the kinks that had begun to accumulate in her muscles.
“Is there a local toy drive?” he asked as he rose to his feet.
“There is.” She relayed the details as they returned to the kitchen. Where she also half-jokingly warned him about what to expect at a James family Christmas Eve get-together, both the good and bad.
“I’ll sum it up for you—an overload of holiday decor, some atrocious singing, lots of teasing, a squabble or two and food. Enough food to feed roughly a thousand times the number of people who will be there. But the leftovers are one of my favorite parts. We’re very lucky.”
Tate laughed, asking questions while he prepared some kind of herbal tea smelling faintly of cinnamon and flowers. The conversation moved on to other things, lighthearted things, until it was way past time for her to call it a night.
He insisted on going outside to start her car so it could warm up because her older model didn’t have remote ignition. A dusting of snow covered his jacket when he came back. After shrugging out of it, he shook it off outside and then hung it on the banister.
“We’ve got a couple inches of new snow out there. I cleaned it off your windows.”
She opened the closet where she’d seen Viktor stow her coat earlier. She pulled her stocking hat from the pocket and slipped it on her head.
“Thanks. I’ll pick Lucas up on Tuesday, okay? We’ll feed the koi and then I’ll take him for part of the day?” She reminded him, “It’s babysitting, so maybe pretend like you guys have something to do?”
“Okay, but he’ll be so excited to hang out with you, I doubt he’ll notice us. Thank you, for your help and for spending time with him.”
She felt his eyes on her, wondered what he was thinking. She couldn’t seem to stop this attraction. And it was growing fast, at least on her part. Because she liked him; she’d liked him before the board meeting and in spite of his misguided attempts to alter Snowy Sky, she now saw him in yet another light. And right now that light was shining brighter than any other.
How could it not after this evening? After witnessing this man trying desperately to be a father to a child who’d never had one, with no example to follow because he’d never had one himself? She could also see that he was something like a son to Viktor, and their relationship stirred up warm and fuzzy feelings inside of her, as well.
Behind that smooth, often too-serious exterior lurked something a bit melancholy and unsettled that was so difficult to resist. She found herself yearning to get in there and somehow make it all better and...and she really needed to change this train of thought because that wasn’t her responsibility.
The difficulty in continuing this battle with him over Snowy Sky flared in her mind. If the resort didn’t mean so much to her on a personal level, if it wasn’t such an integral part of her continued healing process, then maybe. Just maybe she could bend
. But then there was her health, the uncertainty of her future, which made her want Snowy Sky’s success even more.
Tate reached over and rearranged one side of her hat. His fingertips lingered and lightly brushed the skin of her cheek. Her pulse leaped as a shudder ran through her.
“Sorry, my hands are probably cold, huh?”
“No,” she whispered without thinking. “They’re not.”
He smiled slowly, sweetly, and she realized that she’d given herself away. She felt a flush warm her cheeks. “Oh, I...”
“Hannah,” Tate whispered her name as he took two steps closer. Close enough to...
He bent his head and kissed her lips and she felt a rush of emotion so intense she couldn’t think. The kiss held the perfect amount of gentle pressure. A low moan escaped from her lips as she felt something click into place inside of her. She imagined a lost piece of her soul that had been drifting around aimlessly since the accident had finally found its home.
Her eyelids fluttered closed while her hands traveled up to wind around his neck and suddenly there was so much heat and all these...feelings. She’d never felt like this in a kiss. Like she might have—finally—found all she really needed in the world.
When their lips parted, he let his forehead rest on hers. She could hear his rapid breathing and she smiled because it seemed to match her own. Her heart ached with emotion—real emotion, and for the first time in so long she wasn’t pretending to be happier than she really was. Or hoping that the acting would make the happiness real. She wasn’t pretending about anything at all. She needed to get out of there before it started spilling out and she said something, or did something, that neither of them was ready for.
She stepped back and smiled up at him, trying to rein in her feelings but knowing it probably showed all over her face. She felt a nervous giggle coming on.
Instead she reached out with both hands and tugged playfully on the hem of his shirt. “Good night, Tate. Thank you for a lovely evening.”
He quirked a brow in the way she noticed he did when he was about to laugh at her. “Night, Hannah.”
And then she walked out into the frigid winter night, but she didn’t feel cold. Not even close.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
TATE HADN’T BEEN exaggerating Lucas’s shyness with new people. After picking him up, Hannah took him to her cousin Janie’s house to meet her four boys who were out of school for the winter holidays. He spent the first half hour glued to her side. She sensed he wanted to participate, that he was enjoying absorbing the interaction, so she waited, hoping he’d join in on his own.
To her extreme appreciation, it was Aidan who finally managed to lure Lucas out of his shell. Aidan hooked up his laptop to the big-screen TV and presented a jungle slide show—including numerous photos of a green anaconda. Lucas scooted off her lap to get closer to the screen. By the end of it, he and Aidan were chatting about the jungle and Lucas was asking questions.
He hesitantly agreed to do a craft that Janie arranged. All the boys participated, even the older two, and by the time they were through they would each have a pair of reindeer antlers to wear on their heads.
“Did you make the ones Aidan wore at the Festival of Trees?” she asked Janie.
“Guilty,” her cousin said with a grin as she hot-glue-gunned a few more sequins to Gabe’s pair.
“You realize you probably sealed it for him with those, right?”
Janie chuckled. “I do. Here you go, Gabe. He really wanted to win that cake.”
She laughed as Gabe took the antlers, closely examining his mother’s work.
“Awesome, Mom.” He positioned them on his head.
Lucas seemed giddy with his efforts, wearing his crooked, glittered antlers proudly. They gathered the boys together for some photos. Lucas joined in with the others to make silly faces for a few of the pictures.
Snack time came next and Janie presented a stunning array of Christmas cookies. While the kids attacked the treats like a pack of hyenas, Lucas allowed Hannah out of his sight long enough for her to help Janie whip up a batch of her famous homemade hot chocolate.
A cauldron of milk already sat on the stove top when she came into the kitchen.
Jane gave her a beseeching look. “Oh, Hannah, what a sweet little guy.”
She grinned. “I know.”
“He adores you.”
“The feeling is mutual. I’m telling you, Janie,” she said, lifting one hand and pointing at it with the other, “he’s got me wrapped around this finger.”
“I can see that, too. But that shyness is heartbreaking and I don’t want to say he’s awkward, but it’s like he’s insecure, maybe? Is there something...?”
Hannah explained as well as she could, careful not to break any confidence of Tate’s.
Janie listened as she whisked the rich chocolate concoction into the steaming milk. Hannah kept talking while retrieving an assortment of Christmas mugs from the cupboard in the corner.
“Wow,” Janie commented when she was through. “How incredibly sad and criminal.”
“That’s true. It probably is criminal in some regards. But what do you recommend? I know I can’t change the past, but I want to help him. I don’t know anyone who has more experience with children than you.”
“Trust me on this one, having them doesn’t guarantee you always know what to do with them. I mean there’s definitely something to that maternal instinct as far as keeping them alive and all. But as for the rest...” Janie paused, seemingly lost in her thoughts.
Hannah handed over a cup for her to fill. Janie ladled in the chocolate. Hannah took the full mug and replaced it with an empty. They did that a few more times and Hannah’s mind had started to wander when Janie said, “Love.”
“Hmm?”
“Love,” she repeated. “Love is the answer for Lucas. I know it sounds overly simplistic, but when the boys lost their father I tried everything I could think of to make us all better—crying, not crying, talking, not talking, grief counseling. In the end it was just love that got us through. Aidan’s love in particular. I don’t know what the situation is between you and Tate, but for whatever reason Lucas has taken to you. And that means a ton. It means you can help him. He needs kindness and patience and consistency. Kids like to know what’s coming next. You’re great with him, so listen to your instincts—your heart.
“Poor little guy...” Janie paused to sniffle. “Sorry, pregnancy. I’m always a heartbeat away from tears.”
Hannah smiled gently and reached out to give her elbow a light squeeze. “That’s quite all right. How are you feeling?”
“Great, actually. Aidan is so wonderful.” She gave her head a shake as if she couldn’t quite believe it herself. “Other than gaining a little too much weight, which I tend to do when I’m pregnant, I’m also retaining so much water I can’t even wear my wedding ring. Look at these little sausages.” She held up her fingers and wiggled them. “I’m now borrowing Reagan’s snow boots because my ankles are the size of a baby elephant’s. But the boys are so excited to have a little sister. Gareth and Reagan are already making plans.”
“What about the twins?”
She gave Hannah a wry look. “The twins are four. They’re excited when I make pancakes shaped liked Mickey Mouse.”
Hannah busted out a laugh. Then thought about her rambunctious, silly, fun-loving little cousins and couldn’t help but compare them to the shy and subdued Lucas.
Love.
She hoped Janie was right, because love she could do.
* * *
“THAT’S GREAT, LUCAS. Bend your knees a bit more. Arms forward... That’s it,” Tate called out a few days later as Lucas glided down the bunny hill on his snowboard. Hannah had generously arranged for them to use the magic carpet on the beginner hill so he and
Viktor could start Lucas’s snowboarding lessons.
He looked over at Viktor. “What do you think?”
He lifted a shoulder. “There is potential. An athlete like you comes along only one time in one million. But, I’ve seen kids who cannot even stand upright on board at first become champion. Sometimes, with much practice, something will click. So we will see.”
This had to work. It had worked for him, and Lucas needed this as much as Tate had, if not more. For Tate, snowboarding had been something to look forward to, something to be proud of, something to work hard at and then relish in the results. For a long time it had been his reason to live. And snowboarding was something Tate could do and teach him—a way for him and Lucas to bond. Like Tate had with Viktor.
Lucas skidded to a perfect stop near them. Tate felt a moment of elation before Lucas tipped over backward into the snow.
He stepped toward him, reached down and slipped his hands under Lucas’s shoulders to stand him upright.
“What do you think, buddy?”
He smiled and Tate could tell he was trying to be brave. “It’s pretty fun, Uncle Tate, but it’s kind of slippery.”
Tate chuckled and gave him a hug. “It is pretty slippery, but it gets better, I promise. Do you want to try again?”
“Sure.” He nodded solemnly.
“Okay, here goes.” He let go and Lucas slid down the hill about twenty feet, but this time he took a hard fall, his helmet slapping against the ground.
Tate knew falling was part of learning, yet he felt a speck of alarm when Lucas stayed put. He ran toward him. “Lucas? Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m just resting.” Reaching out a gloved hand, he scooped up some snow. He took a bite. “Uncle Tate, is Hannah coming over tonight?”
Tate grinned. “Would you like to invite her?”
He nodded. “Yep. That would make my day.”
“You know what?” Tate unzipped his pocket and removed his phone. “Mine, too.”
