by Carol Ross
“I know.” She grinned. She’d had plenty of second thoughts after inviting Tate, but as soon as they’d arrived and she’d seen Lucas’s face, every doubt had disappeared. She’d never forget the wonder on his face as he studied the Christmas village and asked so politely if he could touch the tiny glass horses pulling a carriage through the porcelain town.
“Why does he live with his uncle and that cute Russian dude?” Iris asked. “I like him.”
“Viktor is Ukrainian and he was Tate’s snowboard coach. He’s like a father to Tate. And Tate’s sister passed away so he has custody of Lucas.”
“That’s a modern-day family right there,” Hazel commented, then bit the head off of a frosting-and-sprinkle-covered snowman cookie.
Hannah felt Shay’s eyes studying her. “And how do you feel about Tate?”
She responded with a questioning look.
“You’ve never invited anyone home for Christmas. You’ve never invited anyone for any other holiday either. In fact, you’ve never invited anyone home period—not even for dinner.”
“That’s not true. Troy Porter—”
“Was your prom date,” Shay smoothly interrupted. “You went out with him three times in high school and on prom night you brought him inside the house only long enough for Dad to take some photos. And even then you stood there awkwardly, fiddling with the straps on your dress and looking like you had cramps. Don’t even bother trying to deny it. Mom has the photographic evidence.”
She snapped her mouth shut. They all laughed, and Hazel and Iris added their own recollections of Hannah’s less-than-exciting love life.
Iris said, “Remember the time you went out with that guy from Glacier City? The competitive archer or whatever? He drove all the way here to pick you up and he was going to teach you how to shoot his bow. So you guys went out to Bob Clemson’s shooting range and then he brought you home after like an hour because you embarrassed him.”
She barked out a laugh at the memory. “Hey, I didn’t know I was going to outshoot him. He bragged about how great he was. I thought I was going to learn something.”
Adele snorted with laughter as she reached over and patted her hand. “Good for you. I don’t buy into that letting-a-guy-feel-manly crap either.”
Hannah shrugged and finished off her pie. “Thank you, Adele. I can’t help it if I’m competitive.”
“It’s not really that, Adele,” Shay chimed in with a grin. “I’m competitive, too. It’s Hannah’s way of winning that can be a little off-putting. She shows no mercy.”
Being athletic had always been her way of standing out, even within her own family of athletes. It had served her well on the slopes, too, and now she felt a fresh twinge of hurt at the reminder of that loss. She missed competition. The challenge of building Snowy Sky had filled some of that void. Now she couldn’t help but wonder how much longer that would be the case?
Hazel took mercy and pointed out, “But to be fair Hannah was always really busy skiing and training. Not much time for boys.”
Hannah thought about Spencer. She would have brought him home. Had planned to bring him home before the accident. He’d broken up with her standing beside her hospital bed, and she remembered staring at him and wondering how he could have professed to love her the very morning of the accident when she’d still been whole. Three days later after she’d regained consciousness in the critical-care unit, unable to feel her legs and knowing her left one may have to be amputated, he’d confessed that he couldn’t “handle it.” The recovery she was facing and the possibility that she might not ever walk again had been too much.
Even heavily medicated as she’d been at the time, she remembered making a joke about it being only fitting that he go ahead and break her heart, too, because it had been about the only thing left of her body that wasn’t broken. In spite of her Herculean efforts to banish them, thoughts of Spencer still got to her. The fact that she—just her alone—hadn’t been enough.
But this wasn’t a matter of bringing home a guy she was involved with, a man she had thought might be the one. Tate was not Spencer and this situation was in no way the same.
“This is different. Tate and I aren’t seeing each other that way. We’re...”
All eyes were glued on her, but for the life of her she couldn’t come up with a suitable word. She thought they were becoming friends, but that kiss—two of them now if you counted that sweet grazing of the lips. She decided she did. Those moments had shifted her feelings for him into something more. And although they hadn’t talked about what that might be, and even though they were at odds when it came to Snowy Sky, she was willing to see where it would lead. But then, tonight he’d been...
She slowly became aware of the women waiting for her response. “We’re business associates. Friends, too. I guess.”
There was a lengthy pause as her sisters and Adele looked at one another and then burst into a loud chorus of laughter.
She could hear the defensive, unconvincing tenor in her tone. “What? I invited Tate for Lucas’s sake, and Viktor’s. I like him, too. Tate wanted Lucas to have a real Christmas.”
Hazel smiled and patted her shoulder. “Then what better place to have a Christmas than here?”
Hannah had thought so. She had thought it was a great evening, except something had been bothering Tate. And as much as she didn’t want it to be true, she couldn’t shake the fear that it was her. His actions tonight had left her thinking they were no longer on the same page. She couldn’t help but wonder if once again she wasn’t quite enough for the man she was so desperately falling for.
* * *
TATE SAT IN front of the Christmas tree, watching the light bounce off the backhoes and bulldozers and dump trucks. He thought about the evening. Lucas had slept all the way home and barely stirred as Tate settled him into bed.
He had stood beside his bed for a long time, watching him sleep and listening to him breathe. He was filled with both joy and unease as he realized he couldn’t remember Lucas ever sleeping this soundly or looking so content.
Operation Awesome Christmas Eve had been a total success where Lucas was concerned. But it had left him with a gaping feeling of inadequacy, although he realized that had been brewing for a while now.
He tried not to dwell on the past, but the fact was that a person’s experiences shaped them and gave them the tools to navigate through life. But what happened when those experiences were so negative that they left very little to build on?
Tate was terrified he didn’t have the ammunition in his emotional arsenal to give Lucas the kind of family he deserved—the kind of family Hannah had.
And along with that realization came the sinking feeling he wasn’t capable of giving Hannah the kind of love she was so clearly accustomed to either—the kind she definitely deserved.
* * *
FOR HANNAH, one Christmas celebration followed another, including the Christmas morning gift exchange at her parents’ house. They’d simplified the event years ago by engaging in a name draw with a dollar limit.
She was touched by the photo Hazel gave to her of the triplets on the ski lift at the resort.
“Hazel, I love this! How did you...? Freddie must have helped.”
“He did.” Hazel gave her a happy smile. “We’re so proud of you, Hannah. Freddie gave us a quick tour, too. Snowy Sky is just magical.”
She felt a surge of pride, followed by the nagging reminder that she would be finding out exactly how much of that magic Park and Tate intended to take away in just a couple days.
Forcing thoughts of Snowy Sky out of her head, she enjoyed a big breakfast with her family, relaxed and then later headed to a huge gathering at their aunt Claire’s house with some extended family and friends.
She didn’t hear from Tate.
As the hours ticked by
, the fact weighed heavier and heavier on her, even as she reminded herself that he didn’t owe her anything. So they’d kissed a couple times, which had led her to believe they were heading for something. Obviously, he’d changed his mind, and so what? She was a grown-up. She could handle a little rejection, right? It wasn’t as they were in a relationship. She could handle it.
So why was her heart thumping like a scared rabbit’s the day after Christmas as she went to take care of the koi? Lucas greeted her, but Tate was conspicuously absent. She refused to let his behavior interfere with her plans or her relationship with Lucas.
Lucas talked about Christmas as they fed the fish. She could tell he’d loved every moment. After describing each gift he’d received, every game they’d played and each dish Viktor had prepared for their holiday meal, Hannah asked, “So, do you want to go sledding with me and Janie and the boys today?”
“Sledding! Really? Yes!”
“Okay, should we go ask your uncle?”
A fresh swirl of nerves churned inside of her as she followed Lucas into the house. They found Tate in the den bent over a pile of paperwork. His eyes collided with hers when she walked through the door. Hannah thought he looked a bit alarmed at the sight of her.
Managing to keep her voice light she said, “Hey, sorry to interrupt.”
“Uncle Tate, can I go sledding with Hannah and the boys?”
Tate had a smile for Lucas, before asking her, “Sledding?”
“Yes, Janie and I and the boys are going sledding at Snowy Sky.”
“Sure. Why don’t you go put on your snow pants? Viktor is in the kitchen, he can help you if you need it.”
He turned and scampered off.
Tate’s voice was low and quiet. “It’s really nice of Janie to include him after what happened with the ring.”
“She understands, Tate. Especially considering what he’s been through. I don’t know anyone with more compassion for children that Janie.”
He scoffed. “I’m not sure anyone can really understand what he’s been through. When you’ve gone through things in life like Lucas and I have...”
My goodness, Hannah thought, that sounded an awful lot like a pity party.
“Well, we all go through tough times. Janie lost her first husband while she was pregnant with the twins and then suffered a horrible bout of postpartum depression. Meanwhile, her boys lost their father and they all struggled. She was a single mother for a long time and it wasn’t until Aidan came into their lives...”
She needed to get to the point. “Tate, are you okay? Did something happen on Christmas Eve? Did I do something?”
He pressed his palms together and bent his head to rest on his hands, like he was gathering his thoughts. He looked up and she felt her heart lurch at the anguish—the distance in his expression.
“No. No, you didn’t. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. We had a good time on Christmas Eve, and that’s sort of the problem. It’s just... It’s not you, or anything you did. It’s me. I never should have kissed you. I’m sorry about that, too. I can’t have a relationship right now.”
Hannah felt the already dull ache begin to sharpen inside of her. She’d heard it all before. Flashbacks from Spencer’s breakup whirled around in her head. About how he couldn’t handle what she was going through. He wasn’t strong enough to help her, to be there for her. It wasn’t her, it wasn’t anything she’d done. Hannah knew what that really meant. She wasn’t enough. She wasn’t worth it.
Tate went on, “I can’t get involved with anyone. It’s not fair to Lucas. I need to focus all my energy on him. I need to make sure he’s okay first and figure out what kind of family we can be.”
“I see.”
“I hope there are no hard feelings. I really like you, Hannah, and I hope we can still be friends.”
Not fair to Lucas? She adored Lucas and she’d done everything she could to help him. And it was working. She’d thought Tate wanted her help. And why wouldn’t he want help? Hannah didn’t understand what that last statement meant either, but the picture was clear enough as far as she and Tate were concerned.
Lucas galloped back into the room, a smiling Viktor trailing behind. A duffel bag was thrown over his shoulder and he quickly ticked off all the items he’d tucked inside including extra gloves and a change of clothes.
Hannah thanked Viktor and then waited, her heart bruised and aching, disappointment seeping into her soul, while Lucas doled out his goodbye hugs. She could only be grateful that she hadn’t known Tate better, fallen any harder, because the damage could have been so much worse. And it was already bad enough.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HANNAH SHUFFLED PAPERS and recited the speech one more time in her mind—the speech that would put an end to this hostile takeover once and for all. Yes, she knew that wasn’t the proper terminology, but she thought it sounded fitting. Just as Al Capone had been taken down by taxes, Park Lowell would be done in by numbers, as well.
She tuned in as the chairman, Terry, called the special board meeting to order. She was ready for whatever Park was going to propose. Terry went on to say that since the meeting had been called for a specific purpose they would proceed straight to the relevant business.
“Park, you wanna go ahead?”
Park stood up and began passing around copies of a slim bound booklet to each board member. He announced that those participating remotely had been sent the information in a pdf file. “As you will see in the proposal I’m presenting, these are basically the recommendations that Tate brought up to the board at the last meeting in written form. The proposal includes the construction of a half-pipe, a snowboard-cross course and a terrain park.” He stopped to smirk at Hannah. “With plans for the construction of a second half-pipe in three to five years.”
Hannah bit the side of her cheek to keep from interrupting. She had a neatly typed handout for the board members, too. She sat back and listened to the rest of his spiel.
“This is nice, Park and Tate,” she commented when Park finally sat down and the chairman acknowledged her turn to speak.
“Outstanding photographs,” she gushed at Park, and by the look on his face she was sure he didn’t know whether she was being honest or facetious, which had been her goal.
“So, as much as I know some of us here would like to adopt your proposal—” she couldn’t help slipping in the slight emphasis on some “—there’s a problem.”
“Problem? What problem?” Park shot back.
She stood and began passing out the documents she’d brought along. After everyone had a copy, she turned and faced the room.
“Insurance.” She paused for dramatic effect. “We can’t afford the insurance. If we install a half-pipe and a terrain park like this, our insurance costs nearly triple. Even if we could afford the initial investment and the substantial upkeep, which I also feel would dramatically push our financial limits, the figures I’ve compiled show the number of customers we’d have to generate in order to pay for the ongoing insurance costs. It won’t work. I spoke to both our agent and the insurance company directly. These numbers are industry standards. Unfortunately, Snowy Sky is just too small to take on the liability of a much larger mountain.”
Hannah couldn’t help but add, “But great work, guys. I can see you’ve put a lot of time into this.” She tapped the cover of the shiny bound booklet.
She paused to look around the room; and wondered why this revelation wasn’t being met with quite the impact she’d been anticipating. The room remained silent, and she couldn’t help but think she was hearing the glaring sound of disappointment.
Tate rose to his feet. “Mr. Chairman, may I address the board?”
“Of course, Tate, and please call me Terry. We’re pretty informal here.”
“Thanks, Terry.” Brushing his p
alms together, his eyes skimmed over the board members.
Not for the first time, Hannah admired his style. It would be so easy for him to be full of himself—arrogant and condescending. But he didn’t come across that way at all; he was confident, yes, but his demeanor was also rife with a kind of humble respect.
“Before we begin discussion on the proposal, I’d like to make a more, um, informal proposition.”
Informal proposition? Hannah had no idea where this was headed but felt a surge of nervous tension anyway.
“As you will all probably recall from conversations we’ve had, I’ve taken the time to do a casual poll as to whether most of us ski or snowboard. I’m happy to report that nearly every member of the board participates in one or the other, and as a group, we’re pretty evenly split with skiers outnumbering snowboarders by only three. So, what I’d like to do is for us all to take a research trip to a resort that caters fairly evenly to skiers and snowboarders, with stats roughly equal to Snowy Sky as per population base and projected demographics. So you all can see firsthand how we can make this work here. Could the board table this discussion until we return?”
She felt her jaw drop open. He couldn’t be serious? This was even more preposterous than his two half-pipe pipe dream.
He paused, apparently to let his suggestion sink in.
She didn’t waste any time. “Excuse me, Tate, but what you’re proposing is impossible. On so many levels. Number one—a trip like that would be very expensive and Snowy Sky does not have the funds to whisk the entire board off on a ski vacation. And number two—what you’re suggesting, about finding a resort equal to Snowy Sky seems very implausible. And number three—what is the point?”
“The second item on your list is already taken care of. Big G Basin in British Columbia, Canada, fits the bill with stats nearly identical to Rankins—small, remote town with limited additional industry and a growing reliance on tourism in both the summer and winter.
“And as to the first point...”
