And with that power came great responsibility. Too bad she hadn't understood that earlier.
Kalahn's eyes moved back to Ryven's face. Not only had being near her ended up harming him, he was now bound to her mind because of some unknown talent. Yes, she wanted to claim Ryven, but he should have a choice in the matter.
Borzet said telepathically, Beyond putting him on another planet, it would've happened eventually. The fact it happened so quickly means he was open to the bond.
Once you explain more about what a mind-bond does, let me be the one to explain it to him.
Of course. But you must do it soon after he wakes. Otherwise, he may attempt to sever the connection, and that will end badly.
How so?
If one or both parties succeed in severing their melded signatures, both will live the rest of their lives in a vegetative state.
So one way or another, she and Ryven would be together. It wasn't exactly the solution she'd wanted when thinking of how to break the news to her brothers, but at least they couldn't make him disappear like her father had done with Keltor's love over twenty years ago.
Chapter Fourteen
Ryven opened his eyes, immediately noting the composite walls, computer units, and whirring medical devices.
He was inside one of the medical bays onboard the colony transport ship.
At first, he thought he must be dreaming. The last thing he remembered was being pecked to death by birds bigger than him.
But then Kalahn's voice filled the space. "You're awake."
Her face came into his field of vision. He tried lifting his arm to touch her face, but he didn't get more than a hairbreadth off the bed before stabbing sensations shot up his arm.
He definitely couldn't be dreaming. The pain was too overwhelming.
Kalahn lay a hand on his forehead, her cool skin bringing him back to the moment. She murmured, "Don't try to move. Your body is still healing. Even with Kelderan technology, it's going to be a few more hours before you can do more than lie there."
Since his throat was dry, he tried to use his telepathy. But he couldn't find anything inside his mind.
Kalahn's soothing voice washed over him again. "To ensure you heal properly, Jynkor muted your telepathy temporarily."
After having it for so many years, the lack of his telepathic abilities felt as if someone had cut off a limb. "When will it come back?" Kalahn bit her bottom lip and looked away. Since he couldn’t turn her head, he used his voice. "Don't hold back with me, Kalahn. Whatever it is, I can take it."
It took her a few more seconds before she met his gaze again. "The doctor said I shouldn't cause any undue stress."
He managed to raise his brows and ignored the ache that followed. "Me not knowing the truth is stressful. Tell me, Lahn."
He expected her to scold him at the ridiculous nickname, but she smiled. "If you can provoke me, you must be doing okay."
"I've been better. Although I'll admit I look forward to being able to move again."
Her smile faded, and her markings flashed white—the color of worry or indecision. "About that. There's something you should know, Ryven."
Dread twisted his stomach. "What?"
"You'll be able to move, but there was too much damage to your muscles. You won't recover a full range of motion in at least your arms. In other words, your days of training warriors in self-defense and combat are over."
Ryven had trained warriors for so many years that he expected disappointment to flood his body.
However, he was alive. That was more than he had expected the last time he was conscious.
Besides, he hated the sadness in Kalahn's eyes. "As long as you don't mind a stiff old man, then I'll be fine."
She blinked. "Just like that, you're okay?"
What he wouldn't give to touch her. "Kalahn, I've enjoyed my years as a warrior trainer. But helping you with your telepathy has shown me that I enjoy other forms of teaching, too. Will it eat at me that I might not be able to protect you without a weapon? Of course. But to fall into despair about it means I'll miss out on any and all future memories with you entirely."
Tears filled Kalahn's eyes and Ryven wished he could stroke her cheek. She murmured, "You say that now, but you've lost so much. And all because you volunteered to help me."
"Kalahn tro el Vallen, stop doubting me. I was nearly pecked to death by a group of murderous birds. And as they ate my flesh and I teetered on the edge of consciousness, all I could think about was how much of a fool I've been. There are a million reasons why we shouldn't be together, but I want you as my bride one day. I'm sure it'll take time to build up trust and convince you that it's what I truly want, but that's my plan from now on. Either of us could be gone tomorrow, and I don't want to regret it and constantly live with a cloud of what-ifs hanging over my head."
Kalahn burst into tears and Ryven struggled with what to do. Hadn't he said the right thing? If so, why was she crying? Had she changed her mind about him, now that he wouldn't be strong enough to defend her in all ways?
Drawing on what strength he possessed, Ryven barked, "Kalahn." It took a few seconds, but she stopped crying and wiped away her tears. He softened his voice. "Talk to me and tell me what's wrong."
She sniffled. "What you said is beautiful, but once I fill you in on everything that's happened since your attack, you may want to rescind your words."
He searched her gaze for a clue of what she was talking about, but didn't note anything. "Beating around the bush is your brother Keltor's style, not yours. Don't keep me in suspense. Sit next to me and tell me everything."
She hesitated, and Ryven half expected her to turn and put distance between them.
However, before he could think of how to convince her further, Kalahn sat next to him on the bed and took one of his hands. The slight twinge in his arm was worth it to have her soft, warm fingers around his.
Just having her near helped him to forget about his injuries, too.
Kalahn stared at their clasped hands as she talked. "When Orvar brought you and you were unconscious, I was frantic and wanted to try out anything that I thought might wake you up, or at least keep you alive. The thought of losing you was too much." She paused, took a deep breath, and continued, "One of the things I did was brush against your unguarded mental presence. And…" He managed to squeeze her fingers, and Kalahn met his gaze. "I saw all of your memories, Ryven. I couldn't stop it. They just flowed uncontrollably. I'm truly sorry. I never meant to pry like that. It just happened."
He resisted blinking. "All of them?"
She bobbed her head. "But I did my best to separate them and store them inside a mental vault. While they all flashed through my head, I don't remember most of them. And if I can help it, I won't access them unless it's an emergency."
Ryven stared at their hands. He'd wanted Kalahn to know him better, but everyone had a few secrets they wished to keep.
Kalahn now knew every good and bad thing about him.
Her soft voice filled his ears again. "If it matters, nothing I saw changed my opinion of you, Ryven. If nothing else, I think even more highly of you. I hope you'll forgive me."
Before the attack, he might've retreated and brooded for a while. Maybe even sparred a few times to think things through.
However, while Kalahn might've unintentionally found out more about him than he'd intended, it didn't change how her warmth soothed his pain. Or how her smile stole his breath.
And even in that moment, the urge to chase away the tears in her eyes hadn't left him.
Holding her accountable for something not even he had known would happen was pointless. "Since I had no idea that brushing against an unguarded mental presence would give someone all of that person's memories, I'm not sure I can be angry about it. You were just trying to help me in a dire situation. However, just promise me that you'll keep them locked away unless absolutely necessary and merely ask me what you wish to know."
She nodded. "Of course. But
there's more. It's the reason I could access all your memories so easily in the first place."
He wanted to frown, but resisted. "I'm not sure I follow."
Taking a deep breath, she finally explained, "We're mentally bonded, Ryven. It's why our signatures melded together. According to Borzet, if we weren't bonded, your mind would've stayed shielded even while unconscious due to your years of training. Only because we shared a space was I able to brush against your unguarded self and access your memories."
"Back up. Who's Borzet? And what does mentally bonded mean? No book I've read on the subject has ever mentioned it."
"That's because it usually doesn't happen with made telepaths. Borzet is Hirlanzian. He's married and bonded to Matilda, a Jasvarian human."
"So he's a born telepath. Still, that doesn't explain our situation."
She lightly stroked the back of his hand. "Somewhere in my family tree there must've been a part-Hirlanzian ancestor. It takes two recessive genes to create a natural born telepath, and Kelderans don't possess that characteristic. So it never manifested in any of the royal family. But when I was given the DNA-splicing operation, it must've reacted with the recessive gene that I did possess, meaning I'm not going to act or react like every other made Kelderan telepath."
He opened his mouth and promptly shut it.
He'd expected a lot of things upon waking up, but not that he was mentally bound to Kalahn.
Not that he hadn't enjoyed her presence with him in the past. But he had no idea what it really entailed. He needed more information. "Explain the bond to me more."
She touched his cheek and he met her gaze again. As she stroked his skin, a sense of calmness came over him. It was as if she had magical powers.
For all he knew, maybe the mental bond was somewhat similar.
He was about to demand more information when Kalahn spoke up again. "The bad first—the bond is irreversible. Anyone who's attempted to sever the mind-bond on Hirlanzia ended up in a perpetual vegetative state, never to wake again."
"Okay, now explain the benefits."
She studied him a second before replying, "Well, we'll always be able to sense each other's emotions. At least we will once your telepathy is no longer muted. I suspect that will help with arguments."
He smiled. "I'm sure many a male wishes he could gauge his female's emotions on any given subject. Even if sometimes it may not be what they wish to know."
She frowned. "How are you able to tease and take this in so calmly?"
What Ryven wouldn't give to be able to shrug. "Delaying the information won't change it. If I'm to make any plans for the future, I need to know all the facts."
"To find a way to break the bond, I understand."
He wished he could take her face between his hands. "No, you don't, Kalahn. Will it make our relationship unusual and maybe a bit more trying at times? Even not knowing all the facts, I suspect so. But it would take a hell of a lot more for me to give you up. I've never felt as much at ease as I have around you, not even with some of my best friends. And there is no female in the universe more beautiful and determined than you. I'm not giving up on us, love. So don't dare give up on us when you've fought your whole life for what you wanted."
It was a tad presumptuous for him to say as much. For all he knew, Kalahn didn't feel as strongly about him.
But given the few glimpses he’d had of her dreams and thoughts, she wanted him too. This would be the real test to see how much.
So Ryven held his breath and waited. He may have thought when he woke up that he had a second chance to make Kalahn his, as he should've done for years. But Kalahn had the power to take it all away. He wasn't above being stubborn, but he wouldn't force her into a life she didn't want. No one deserved that future.
~~~
Kalahn was torn between bursting into tears and curling up against Ryven's side and never letting go.
She'd had a feeling that Ryven could be romantic, but it was more than that. He seemed so determined and certain they could be together.
To even love each other.
And he did it all while barely being able to stay awake, lying on a bed, and being unable to move most of his body.
He was stronger than she'd ever realized.
She'd cared for him before, but she was falling for him. It would be easy to love such a male.
No. She couldn't allow those sort of feelings to bloom. At least not until Ryven understood the true extent of what their bond entailed.
Taking a deep breath, she finally replied, "I'm not giving up on us. From the moment Orvar brought you back and during the hour it took to clean you and stitch you up, all I wished for was you to wake up and smile at me. I think even without the bond there's a connection between us. But I don't want to kindle it until you know all the facts. After all, your life will be in danger as long as you're connected to me and my family."
He never broke their gaze. "Danger will always exist, Kalahn. It doesn't matter whether it's related to the royal family or something else. No one can protect against everything."
"But our case is different from everyday dangers, Ryven. If either one of us dies, the other half could become a walking ghost, barely able to survive. The effect will only be exacerbated as feelings grow and mature."
He raised an eyebrow. "Since when do you play it safe?"
She growled. "This isn't just my life we're talking about here."
"Kalahn, if I could, I would sit up, pull you close, and kiss you to show how I feel. But since I can't, won't you believe me? I was already determined to brave your brothers' ire before I knew any of this. Nothing you say will change my mind."
At the mention of his mind, Kalahn quickly checked his mental presence. Part of the reason Ryven's telepathy had been drugged silent was that he was still too weak to repair the damage that had been done from her brushing against his unguarded self. Not to mention some of the drugs the doctors had used to heal him had also weakened his mental state. Apparently, certain things affected telepaths differently than non-telepaths.
Assured he was still stable for the moment, she asked, "I'm tempted to wait until you're fully recovered before I take your word." He opened his mouth, but she beat him to it. "But I'm going to be selfish and do this."
Leaning down, she kissed him gently. As his lips moved against hers, Kalahn wished she could take it further. Memories of his wildness back in the kitchen on Jasvar filled her mind, and heat spread throughout her body.
It was only when she moved a little more toward him and he grunted that she remembered his injuries. She instantly pulled back a few inches, but never took her gaze from his eyes.
The heat and determination she saw there made her shiver.
Ryven grunted as he moved a hand to touch her thigh. "Kisses seem to make me stronger. You should definitely give me more of them."
The corner of her mouth ticked up. "I almost think that's an excuse."
"More like it's motivation." He lightly stroked the side of her thigh, each motion making her nerves overly sensitive. "And not just for me. I'm using my wiles to entrance you so that you'll do everything to make me whole faster. It'll be much easier to kiss you and try to make you my bride when I can move around freely."
"Ryven."
"I'm being honest. I want you, Kalahn. If you ever forget that, I may just have to kiss you senseless to remind you."
Since Ryven's chest was one of the most injured parts of his body and she couldn't touch him there, she traced his jaw. As she moved her fingers back and forth, Ryven closed his eyes with a groan.
She wondered if he were as affected by touch as she was by his. There was one way to find out.
A proper princess won't look, but Kalahn glanced down. The bulge under the sheets told her plenty.
Ryven's voice was husky. "Kalahn, don't. Your gaze only makes it worse."
Since she'd never seen a naked adult male before that she could remember—surely any she'd seen as a child didn't count—she wa
s tempted to move aside the thin fabric to see her male.
Yes, she rather liked thinking of him as hers.
Ryven lightly squeezed her thigh, but she didn't move her gaze. Before she lost her nerve, she tossed back the sheet and gaped.
At Ryven's long, hard length, her nipples tightened and a tingle started between her thighs. She wanted him in ways she'd only ever read about.
She reached out a hand, but before she could touch him, Ryven whispered, "Anyone could walk in."
"No. Your next check-in isn't for about ten minutes." Somehow, she forced her eyes away from his hardness and to Ryven's eyes. "Are you in pain there? I don't want to hurt you."
"I'm in pain in a good way, love. But not from injuries. Males tend to guard their cocks above all else, and I wasn't about to let the birds get it."
Kalahn looked back at his…cock. She'd heard the word before, of course, but princesses weren't supposed to be vulgar.
However, she rather liked the term.
Running a finger down his length, she was surprised at how hard, yet silky his cock was. To truly test it out, she gripped his base and Ryven groaned. Before she could let go, he whispered, "Don't stop, love. Please don't stop."
At Ryven's words, confidence flared and she gently pulled up and down. Each time she did, Ryven made a variety of sounds, ranging from growls to groans. Each one told her more of what he liked.
She finally noticed a small drop of liquid at the top of his cock. Curious, Kalahn leaned down and licked it off.
The salty taste only increased the pulsing between her own thighs. Since she knew she couldn't bare herself to Ryven just yet, she'd just have to make him groan some more in other ways.
Opening her mouth, she sucked his cock in.
"Mm, yes, Kalahn."
The heady power she had, with Ryven at her mercy, was a new sensation. And one she rather liked.
The Forbidden Page 14
