Forgiveness

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Forgiveness Page 16

by Elise St. George


  That’s why when Ratchet called to tell me that Ace is taking in a pregnant woman that just got released from jail, I rallied the old ladies together to get some clothes and baby stuff for her. After hitting up each old lady and gathering up their baby stuff, I headed to Ace’s house. I haven’t been to this house since Ace kicked that skank, Sarah, to the curb and I’m glad that he finally is putting some use to it. Although he’s a total softie on the inside, Ace wouldn’t just offer a pregnant woman shelter if he wasn’t interested in her and I hear she’s the elusive Davenport girl. I pull up to the cabin and Ace meets me outside, and his face was full of surprise at the amount of stuff I have with me.

  “I hope this is enough stuff,” I tell Ace. “Ratchet texted me right before you left the jail so I was able to go around to all the old ladies and get stuff from them. I hope it’s enough.”

  “It’s more than enough, baby sis,” he tells me while giving me a hug. “How have you been?”

  “Better than that poor girl,” I say. “I’m glad you’re out, though. Did you see Steve while you were in there?”

  “He’s good...seems a little lonely though,” he says.

  I look away because I know I’m about to cry, and Ace just pulls me into a huge hug. He’s never asked what happened, but he always somehow understood.

  “I really wish it could’ve worked out,” I whisper.

  “I know, baby girl,” he whispers back. I wipe away my tears and put on a brave face.

  “Now, help me get this shit in the house and I definitely want to meet this girl that has you so smitten...especially if she’s part of the Davenport family,” I say.

  “Yea,” he says, picking up the rest of the bags. “I’m surprised I didn’t know about her.”

  “I knew about her,” I admit.

  “How?” he asks.

  “Well,” I start. “I’m closer to her age than you are. You’re closer to her brother’s age so you knew about him, and he went to school in-state. She pretty much kept to herself in high school. She was smart, played softball, and had a pretty small group of friends. Then, she went to school in Mississippi for five years and came back to law school in-state. She never came home though, and once she had her first child, the parents stopped acknowledging her existence.”

  “But they have no problem claiming this baby? Do people really think those old fuckers have a baby?” he asks.

  “It’s the Davenport family,” I tell him. “Everybody’s afraid to question them.”

  I walk in the house and introduce myself to Mickie, and told her that I remembered her from high school. I take her upstairs to get ready for Ace’s welcome home party and lead her straight to Ace’s room because I have a feeling she’ll eventually end up in here anyway. It’s crazy to see her back in Winslow because she looks so defeated. I remember how strong she was when she left, so to see her be so beat down by life is heartbreaking. I told her how much I admired the fact that she left Winslow, and I must’ve hit a nerve because she started crying.

  Ace comes to console her, and it makes me want to cry. I’ve never seen Ace act like that with any woman other than me and momma. He didn’t even act like that towards Sarah, and he proposed to her. Mickie gets herself together quickly and we try on some more clothes until she decides on a cute yellow dress. I do her makeup, we get in my truck, and we head to the clubhouse for Ace’s party.

  On the way to the party, I start talking to Mickie and may have spilled the beans about Scott’s ex. I know I shouldn’t meddle so much but I can see how special this woman is and I know that Ace probably won’t tell her about Sarah. As we drive and talk, I can’t help but think about her pregnant belly and be sad about the family that I could’ve had with Steve. Looking back and seeing Ace and momma be alone all this time makes me regret divorcing Steve sometimes, and I’m too embarrassed to tell him that I may have made a mistake and jumped the gun instead of working on things with him.

  Nobody knows, but Ace and Uncle Joe were both very upset with me once they saw the effect the divorce had on Steve. I almost cried when Ace told me how bad it was, and Uncle Joe reminded me of his words at our wedding. I gave up on our relationship and I will never forgive myself for that.

  We pull up to the clubhouse and Ratchet has given Mickie a nickname. Boss Lady. He’s right. She may be small, and she may be down on her luck right now, but I can tell that this woman is fierce as hell. There’s something nurturing about her personality, and she makes you want to tell her everything.

  Their ears must have been itching because, lo and behold, the culprits themselves walk their asses into the party. That skank Sarah sees how attached Ace is to Mickie and blows cigarettes smoke in her face. Who the fuck does that? I’m about to do something until Mickie decks the shit out of Sarah. Ace drags Mickie into the clubhouse while one of the prospects makes Sarah leave. The whole group is silent until I burst into laughter and Ratchet follows not too far behind me. I mean....she totally deserved that.

  While Ace is in the clubhouse calming Mickie down, Hammer approaches me and all the women look at him with disgust. He looks confused for a second before looking at me.

  “You really should tell Ace,” I advise.

  “He’d never forgive me,” Hammer responds.

  “I mean,” I say honestly. “It can’t really be any worse than what you’ve already done to him so you may as well come clean and restart at ground zero.”

  He nods and walks away because the looks the ladies are giving him make him feel uncomfortable. Harley and Ace finally come out and I run to hug her.

  “Bitch!” I yell. “You literally just became my favorite person ever. I’ve been waiting for someone to put that bitch in her place for the longest.”

  I take her to the buffet and pile food onto her plate. Momma pointed out how skinny Mickie looks and I agree with her. We need to get Mickie and that baby fed. Once Mickie starts eating, all the old ladies start praising how Mickie handled Sarah and I must’ve been feeling myself because I let the bean’s slip about Sarah and Hammer’s baby. At first I feel bad, but then I realize that the secret was literally eating away at me and I’m just glad I was able to get it off my chest. Mickie gets overwhelmed and goes for a walk to get some fresh air. Ace watches her walk away, but then freezes when he sees Hammer approach Mickie and who could blame him...Hammer slept with his fiance. He approaches Hammer and Mickie and they have a pretty serious conversation before Ace and Mickie go back to the group of men. I think after the Sarah incident, he doesn’t want Hammer near anyone that he could possibly be involved with.

  Those guys are over there talking about football and Mickie throws her two cents in. One of the newer brothers, Snake, questions her and he’s super disrespectful about it. Once again, when I think someone is about to intervene, Mickie shows how much of a firecracker she is. She cussed him the fuck out and then insinuated that he beats his girlfriend. I know which of these girls is his girlfriend, and when I look at her, she looks embarrassed and ashamed. Damn, Harley was right.

  “Harley, I’m ready to go!” she yells and I hop up to give her a ride until I see Ace shake his head behind her back.

  She sees me look at Ace and then whips around and cusses him out before going into a full-fledged panic attack. Ratchet has to help her before Ace intervenes and carries her out of the clubhouse, and the party awkwardly continues. Hammer is still here and I can tell that he has something to say to me, but I’m not sure I want to hear it. However, Ace was willing to hear him out after all the shit he did so the least I can do is give him a chance. When approaches me and realizes that I’m not going to walk away, he starts speaking.

  “I’m sorry, baby girl,” he says softly. I don’t know what to say because he hasn’t called me that in over ten years. Honestly, I can’t even remember the last time Hammer called me baby girl and I’m speechless.

  “I was selfish,” he starts. “I was depressed and so jealous of Ace that I sabotaged our family, and I’m only just now realizing ho
w much my actions affected our entire family. I ruined your childhood with my drama. Hell, you had to move in with Tank and Loki for stability and it was totally my fault. Once your momma really left me, I thought about how much I fucked my life up because I thought I deserved more and didn’t appreciate what I already had. I never realized that I was the reason my life ended up the way that it did. I had everything a man could want in life and I messed it all up by being a selfish bastard. I asked Ace to forgive me, and I plan to ask your momma the same, but I’m asking you to forgive me as well. I want to know the person that you’ve become and I promise I’ll get myself together.”

  I can’t do anything but nod and hope that Hammer does better. If I’m honest, this is the first time Hammer’s really acknowledged the hurt he’s caused all of us and it gives me hope that he’ll do better. I hug him and I’m driven to tears because I can’t even remember the last time that we hugged. He hugs me back awkwardly and then clears his throat.

  “One more thing,” he says. “It broke my heart that I couldn’t walk you down the aisle when you got married, and Joe made me realize that my behavior affected how you and your brother approach relationships. If you’re willing to give me a second chance, then think about giving your ex-husband one too. Don’t let my mistakes keep you from fighting for your happiness.”

  He walks off to talk to the club guys after that, leaving me to think about his words. Maybe it’s because I’m emotional right now, but I call Steve. It rings a few times before someone picks up.

  “Harley?” he says tentatively. It breaks my heart that he feels that way towards me now.

  “What’s your address?” I say before I lose my nerve. “I’m coming over.”

  This should be interesting.

  Chapter 34 - Steve, 25 years old

  She called me. She’s coming over. I don’t know what the fuck to do but I know I can’t fuck this up. My hands are shaking when I text her my address, and I run around my apartment trying to clean up as best as I can. I jump in the shower quickly and scrub the shit out of myself because I want to look good for her. I never thought I’d do this for anybody, but she’s special. If she’s reaching out to me, then I’m going to jump at the opportunity. Call me pathetic….I’m pathetic as hell and I don’t give a fuck.

  I hear a knock on the door and open it. It’s her. She’s really here, standing in my front door. I don’t know what to do other than to just kiss her passionately. I want this woman so badly that it hurts my soul and I have no words when it comes to how I feel. She’s my everything, and I’m going to make sure she never leaves me again.

  I pick her up and carry her straight to my room and get to work. I rip her panties off and eat her pussy like I’m starving because I am. My tongue strokes her core long and slowly, and she starts to moan loudly. I love that I can do this to her. I love that I can make her feel good and take her over the edge.

  I’ve missed everything about this woman. Her moans make me hard, and I can’t take my time like I want to. If I have to fuck this woman stupid to keep her around, then that’s what I’ll do. I’m determined to never let this woman leave me again. I take my clothes off while she takes hers off, and I’m in awe of her beauty. She has more tattoos, but she’s still my high school sweetheart….my Harley.

  I move up her body and kiss her with everything I have in my body before thrusting inside her. Damn, she feels so good and she’s so tight and I’m not sure how much longer I can last so I start off slow. I thrust in and out of her slowly, then take my thumb and rub her clit. She starts bucking against me so I clamp down on her thighs to keep her still while I keep going.

  “Why are you going so fucking slow?” she pants. “Fuck me, Steve!”

  “Alright baby,” I respond. I kiss her nose and pound into her.

  “God yes,” she yells.

  I turn her over into her favorite position to get a better, deeper angle and her pussy becomes so tight that I’ve lost all circulation in my brain. The only thing I can focus on is her tight, wet heat wrapped around my cock. She leans up so I can kiss her neck and I lean back while she pretty much pleasures herself on my cock. Damn, she could ride me like this all day and night...I would be in heaven.

  She moves up and down my cock and moans while setting her own pace. This is sexy as fuck and I trail my hand down her spine tattoo, making her gasp and clamp down on my cock harder and I know I can’t hold it any longer.

  “I’m about to cum, baby,” I tell her so she knows that I’m not going to last longer.

  “I can tell,” she says. “Cum for me, baby.”

  She starts pounding herself down harder on me and I know I’m about to cum. I grab her hips and start pounding her faster on top of my cock and she starts screaming my name.

  “God yes!” she screams “Fuck me, Steve!”

  That sends me over the edge. I spill all my seed in her pussy and keep thrusting until I’m done. I look over at her, and she’s asleep. I chuckle because I know it’s a sign that I did my job. If the sex is good, she’s more energized and wants to keep going. If the sex is great, she falls to sleep within five minutes of the sex. I go to the bathroom and wet a washcloth with warm water, wipe her legs, get into the bed with her, and just hold her. I doze off with a renewed sense of hope in my heart.

  Chapter 35 - Harley, 24 years old

  I wake up and realize that I’m not in momma’s house, then I feel an arm wrapped around me and I hear someone snoring. I take a deep breath and realize what I just did. It’s Steve. I fucked Steve. I try to slowly get out from under his arm without him noticing until I feel the arm around me tighten.

  “Where the fuck do think you’re going?” he whispers behind me. Shit. I didn’t know he was awake. “I’m not going to let you leave me again, I hope you know that.”

  My heart melts and I recount the previous day and remember why I showed up at his doorstep.

  “I need some air,” I say. He just stares at me like he doesn’t believe me.

  “I’m serious,” I say. “I had a long day yesterday and I need some air.”

  Once he realizes I’m serious, he hops out of the bed and starts rummaging through his dresser. When he finds whatever he’s looking for, he grabs one of his ratty t-shirts and throws in over my head while he puts some shorts on. He grabs my hand and leads me to the balcony before pulling out whatever he rummaged for in the drawer….it’s a joint! I start laughing as I remember how we used to sit and smoke weed together in our apartment in Atlanta and have deep conversations. He lights it up, takes a couple of puffs, inhales, and blows out before handing me the joint. I do the same and we just sit there and smoke for a minute before he clears his throat.

  “So what happened yesterday?” he asks.

  “Hammer apologized to me and Ace,” I say. “He’s the reason I came over here. He basically said that I left you because I don’t trust in relationships. That his actions towards momma, the most loyal person I know, made me jump ship when I saw a sign of danger in our relationship.”

  “Shit,” he mutters. “He said all that?”

  I laugh. “Not really, but that’s what he basically said to me in man speak. Hell, Uncle Joe and Ace have been on my ass about it for a while now.”

  “Really?” he says with surprise.

  Huh. I always thought he was influencing them to say those things to make me feel guilty for leaving him, but I guess I was wrong. Damn, maybe they were right and I’d been making assumptions in my marriage based on what I saw between momma and Hammer. I take another puff of the joint and just shake my head and chuckle.

  “What’s so funny?” he asks.

  “Those mother fuckers were right, I never should’ve left you,” I admit. “I should’ve stuck things out and figured out the Crystal situation with you instead of abandoning you when we had our first real issue. Whatever happened with that, by the way? Is that sweet child your daughter?”

  He looks really guilty and rubs his face with one hand. He always does that
when he feels bad about something.

  “Honestly,” he admits. “I never looked into it more. I took a really bad downturn after you left me, baby. Your uncle just got me out of my funk about a month ago. I’ve been so busy trying to get my life back together that I haven’t even thought about it, but since you brought it up, I probably should. Every child deserves both of their parents.”

  Wow. I feel like such a bitch for not even considering how my actions would affect his life. I promised this man that I would be by his side through his ups and downs and I failed him. I failed us. Now, I’m starting to think that I don’t even deserve a second chance with him and I start sobbing. Damn this weed...I need to remember to woop Ace’s ass for growing this shit. It’s got me way too emotional. Steve immediately picks me up and comforts me, and I start to feel bad all over again.

  “If you don’t want to be with me again,” I say softly. “I would totally understand.”

  “Why the fuck would you say that?” he yells. Whoa. He looks angry as hell.

  “I treated you terribly. I made assumptions and conclusions about your character that cost us our marriage. If this ends up being a one-time thing, I get it,” I whisper.

  “Baby,” he says softly. “I’m not sure if you understand, but I never plan on letting you leave me again.”

  He doesn’t explain the statement. He just curls up with me on the balcony and we keep smoking in comfortable silence, and I feel dumb as hell for not getting my shit together sooner because I’ve missed five years of moments like this. For the first time since I left Atlanta and moved back home to Winslow, I am content.

 

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