"What?" she asked.
Why do I always act so foolish around her? he thought. The others always made fun of my slang-even Kelsier thought it was silly. Now I start speaking it before her?
He'd been feeling confident and sure as he studied his plans before she arrived. Why was it that the girl could always make him fall out of his leadership role and go back to being the old Spook? The Spook who had never been important.
"You shouldn't be ashamed of the accent," Beldre said. "I think it's kind of charming."
"You just said it was gibberish," Spook said, turning back to her.
"But that's the best part!" Beldre said. "It's gibberish on purpose, right?"
Spook remembered with fondness how his parents had responded to his adoption of the slang. It had been a kind of power, being able to say things that only his friends could understand. Of course, he'd started speaking in it so much that it had been hard to switch back.
"So," Beldre said, eyeing the board. "What does it say?"
Spook hesitated. "Just random thoughts," he said. She was his enemy-he had to remember that.
"Oh," she said. Something unreadable crossed her face, then she turned away from the board.
Her brother always banished her from his conferences, Spook thought. Never told her anything important. Left her feeling like she was useless. .
"I need to get your brother to use his Allomancy in front of the people," Spook found himself saying. "To let them see that he's a hypocrite."
Beldre looked back.
"The board is filled with my ideas," Spook said. "Most of them aren't very good. I'm kind of leaning toward just attacking him, making him defend himself."
"That won't work," Beldre said.
"Why not?"
"He won't use Allomancy against you. He wouldn't expose himself like that."
"If I threaten him strongly enough he will."
Beldre shook her head. "You promised not to hurt him. Remember?"
"No," Spook said, raising a finger. "I promised to try to find another way. And, I don't intend to kill him. I just need to make him think that I'd kill him."
Beldre fell silent again. His heart lurched.
"I won't do it, Beldre," Spook said. "I won't kill him."
"You promise that?"
Spook nodded.
She looked up at him, then smiled. "I want to write him a letter. Perhaps I can talk him into listening to you; we could avoid the need for this in the first place."
"All right. ." Spook said. "But, you realize I'll have to read the letter to make certain you're not revealing anything that could hurt my position."
Beldre nodded.
Of course, he'd do more than read it. He'd rewrite it on another sheet of paper, changing the line order, and then add a few unimportant words. He'd worked on too many thieving crews to be unaware of ciphers. But, assuming that Beldre was being honest with him, a letter from her to Quellion was a good idea. It couldn't help but strengthen Spook's position.
He opened his mouth to ask whether or not her sleeping accommodations were acceptable, but cut himself off as he heard someone approaching. Harder footsteps this time. Captain Goradel, he guessed.
Sure enough, the soldier appeared around the corner to Spook's "room" a short time later.
"My lord," the soldier said. "You should see this."
The soldiers were gone.
Sazed looked through the window with the others, inspecting the empty plot of ground where Quellion's troops had been camped for the last few weeks, watching the Ministry building.
"When did they leave?" Breeze asked, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
"Just now," Goradel explained.
The move felt ominous to Sazed for some reason. He stood beside Spook, Breeze, and Goradel-though the others seemed to take the soldiers' retreat as a good sign.
"Well, it will make sneaking out easier," Goradel noted.
"More than that," Spook said. "It means I can incorporate our own soldiers in the plan against Quellion. We'd never have gotten them out of the building secretly with half an army on our doorstep, but now. ."
"Yes," Goradel said. "But where did they go? Do you think Quellion is suspicious of us?"
Breeze snorted. "That, my dear man, sounds like a question for your scouts. Why not have them search out where that army went?"
Goradel nodded. But then, to Sazed's slight surprise, the soldier looked toward Spook for a confirmation. Spook nodded, and the captain moved off to give the orders.
He looks to the boy over Breeze and I, Sazed thought. He shouldn't have been surprised. Sazed himself had agreed to let Spook take the lead, and to Goradel, all three of them-Sazed, Breeze, Spook-were probably equal. All were in Elend's inner circle, and of the three, Spook was the best warrior. It made sense for Goradel to look to him as a source of authority.
It just felt strange to see Spook giving orders to the soldiers. Spook had always been so quiet during the days of the original crew. And yet, Sazed was beginning to respect the boy too. Spook knew how to give orders in a way that Sazed could not, and he had shown remarkable foresight in his preparations in Urteau, as well as his plans to overthrow Quellion. He had a flair for the dramatic that Breeze kept saying was remarkable.
And yet, there was that bandage on the boy's eyes, and the other things he hadn't explained. Sazed knew that he should have pushed harder for answers, but the truth was that he trusted Spook. Sazed had known Spook from the lad's young teenage years, when he'd barely been capable of communicating with others.
As Goradel moved off, Spook looked to Sazed and Breeze. "Well?"
"Quellion is planning something," Breeze said. "Seems too early to jump to conclusions, though."
"I agree," Spook said. "For now, we go forward with the plan."
With that, they split up. Sazed turned, making his way back down and over to the far side of the cavern-to where a large group of soldiers worked in an area well lit with lanterns. On his arms, he wore the familiar weight of his copperminds-two on his forearms, two on his upper arms. In them sat the knowledge of engineering he needed to complete the task Spook had assigned him.
Lately, Sazed didn't know what to think. Each time he climbed the ladder and looked out over the city, he saw worse signs. The ashfalls were heavier. The earthquakes were growing more and more frequent, and more and more violent. The mists were lingering later and later in the day. The sky grew dark, the red sun more like a vast bleeding scar than a source of light and life. The ashmounts made the horizon red even during the night.
It seemed to him that the end of the world should be a time when men found faith, not a time when they lost it. Yet, the little time that he'd devoted to studying the religions in his portfolio had not been encouraging. Twenty more religions eliminated, leaving just thirty potential candidates.
He shook his head to himself, moving among the toiling soldiers. Several groups worked on wooden contraptions filled with rocks-weight systems that would fall to block off the water running into the cavern. Others worked on the system of pulleys that would lower the mechanism. After about a half hour or so, Sazed determined that they were all doing their tasks well, and returned to his calculations. However, as he walked to his table, he saw Spook approaching him.
"Riots," Spook said, falling into step beside Sazed.
"Excuse me, Lord Spook?"
"That's where the soldiers went. Some people started a fire, and the soldiers guarding us were needed to put it out before the whole city went up. There's a lot more wood here than there is in Central Dominance cities."
Sazed frowned. "Our actions here are becoming dangerous, I fear."
Spook shrugged. "Seems like a good thing to me. This city is on the edge of snapping, Saze. Just like Luthadel was when we took control."
"Only the presence of Elend Venture kept that city from destroying itself," Sazed said quietly. "Kelsier's revolution could easily have turned into a disaster."
"It will be all right," S
pook said.
Sazed eyed the young man as the two of them walked through the cavern. Spook seemed to be trying very hard to project an air of confidence. Perhaps Sazed was just growing cynical, but he found it difficult to be as optimistic as Spook.
"You don't believe me," Spook said.
"I'm sorry, Lord Spook," Sazed said. "It's not that. . it's just that I seem to have trouble having faith in anything lately."
"Oh."
They walked silently for a while, eventually finding themselves at the edge of the glassy underground lake. Sazed paused beside the waters, his worries chewing at his insides. He stood for a long moment, feeling frustrated, but not really having an outlet.
"Don't you even worry, Spook?" Sazed finally asked. "Worry that we'll fail?"
"I don't know," Spook said, shuffling.
"And, it's so much more than this," Sazed said, waving back at the work crews. "The very sky seems to be our enemy. The land is dying. Don't you wonder what good any of this is? Why we even struggle? We're all doomed anyway!"
Spook flushed. Then, finally, he looked down. "I don't know," he repeated. "I. . I understand what you're doing, Sazed. You're trying to find out if I doubt myself. I guess you can see through me."
Sazed frowned, but Spook wasn't looking.
"You're right," the young man said then, wiping his brow, "I do wonder if I'll fail. I guess Tindwyl would be annoyed at me, wouldn't she? She didn't think that leaders should doubt themselves."
That gave Sazed pause. What am I doing? he thought, horrified at his outburst. Is this what I've really become? During most of my life, I resisted the Synod, rebelling against my own people. Yet, I was at peace, confident that I was doing the right thing.
Now I come here, where people need me most, and I just sit around and snap at my friends, telling them that we're just going to die?
"But," Spook said, looking up, "though I doubt myself, I still think we'll be all right."
Sazed was surprised at the hope he saw in the boy's eyes. That's what I've lost.
"How can you say that?" Sazed asked.
"I don't know, really," Spook said. "I just. . Well, do you remember that question you asked me when you first got here? We were standing by the lake, just over there. You asked me about faith. You asked what good it was, if it just led people to hurt each other, like Quellion's faith in the Survivor has done."
Sazed looked out over the lake. "Yes," he said softly. "I remember."
"I've been thinking about that ever since," Spook said. "And. . I think I might have an answer."
"Please."
"Faith," Spook said, "means that it doesn't matter what happens. You can trust that somebody is watching. Trust that somebody will make it all right."
Sazed frowned.
"It means that there will always be a way," Spook whispered, staring forward, eyes glazed, as if seeing things that Sazed could not.
Yes, Sazed thought. That is what I have lost. And it's what I need to get back.
I have come to see that each power has three aspects: a physical one, which can be seen in the creations made by Ruin and Preservation; a spiritual one in the unseen energy that permeates all of the world; and a cognitive one in the minds which controlled that energy.
There is more to this. Much more that even I do not yet comprehend.
57
You should kill them.
Vin looked up as she heard a pair of guards pass the door to her cell. There was one good thing about Ruin's voice-it tended to warn her when people were nearby, even if it did always tell her to kill them.
A part of her did wonder if, in fact, she was mad. After all, she saw and heard things that nobody else could. However, if she were mad, there would really be no way for her to realize it. So, she simply decided to accept what she heard, and move on.
In truth, she was glad for Ruin's voice on occasion. Other than Ruin, she was alone in the cell. All was still. Even the soldiers did not speak-likely at Yomen's orders. Plus, each time Ruin spoke, she felt as if she learned something. For instance, she had learned that Ruin could either manifest in person or affect her from a distance. When its actual presence was not with her in the cell, Ruin's words were far more simple and vague.
Take, for instance, Ruin's order that she kill the guards. She couldn't follow that suggestion, not from within the cell. It wasn't so much a specific order as it was an attempt to change her inclinations. Again, that reminded her of Allomancy, which could exert a general influence over a person's emotions.
General influence. .
Something suddenly occurred to her. She quested out, and-sure enough-she could still feel the thousand koloss that Elend had given her. They were under her control still, distant, obeying the general orders she'd given them before.
Could she use them somehow? Deliver a message to Elend, perhaps? Get them to attack the city and free her? As she considered them, both plans seemed flawed. Sending them to Fadrex would just get them killed, as well as risk upsetting whatever plans Elend had for a potential attack. She could send them to find Elend, but that would probably just get them killed by the camp guards, who would be afraid they were bloodlusting. Plus, what would she have them do if they did get to him? She could order them to take actions, like attack or pick someone up, but she'd never tried something as delicate as ordering one to speak certain words.
She tried forming those words in her head and getting them to the koloss, but all she sensed back was confusion. She'd have to work on that some more. And, as she considered, she wondered if getting a message to Elend would really be the best way to use them. It would let Ruin know about a potential tool she had that, maybe, he hadn't noticed.
"I see that he finally found a cell for you," a voice said.
Vin looked up, and there he was. Still wearing Reen's form, Ruin stood in the small cell with her. He maintained a straight-backed posture, standing almost benevolently over her. Vin sat up on her cot. She'd never thought that of all her metals, she would miss bronze so much. When Ruin returned to visit in "person," burning bronze had let her feel him via bronzepulses and gave her warning that he had arrived, even if he didn't appear to her.
"I'll admit that I'm disappointed in you, Vin," Ruin said. He used Reen's voice, but he imbued it with a sense of. . age. Of quiet wisdom. The fatherly nature of that voice, mixed with Reen's face and her own knowledge of the thing's desire to destroy, was disturbing.
"The last time you were captured and locked away without metals," Ruin continued, "not a night passed before you'd killed the Lord Ruler and overthrown the empire. Now you've been soundly imprisoned for what. . a week now?"
Vin didn't respond. Why come taunt me? Does it expect to learn something?
Ruin shook its head. "I would have thought at the very least that you'd have killed Yomen."
"Why are you so concerned with his death?" Vin asked. "It seems to me that he's on your side."
Ruin shook its head, standing with hands clasped behind its back. "You still don't understand, I see. You're all on my side, Vin. I created you. You're my tools-each and every one of you. Zane, Yomen, you, your dear Emperor Venture. ."
"No. Zane was yours, and Yomen is obviously misguided. But Elend. . he'll fight against you."
"But he can't," Ruin said. "That's what you refuse to understand, child. You cannot fight me, for by the mere act of fighting you advance my goals."
"Evil men, perhaps, help you," Vin said. "But not Elend. He's a good person, and not even you can deny that."
"Vin, Vin. Why can't you see? This isn't about good or evil. Morality doesn't even enter into it. Good men will kill as quickly for what they want as evil men-only the things they want are different."
Vin fell silent.
Ruin shook its head. "I keep trying to explain. This process we are engaged in, the end of all things-it's not a fight, but a simple culmination of inevitability. Can any man make a pocket watch that won't eventually wind down? Can you imagine a lantern that won'
t eventually burn out? All things end. Think of me as a caretaker-the one who watches the shop and makes certain that the lights are turned out, that everything is cleaned up, once closing time arrives."
For a moment, he made her question. There was some truth in his words, and seeing the changes in the land these last few years-changes that started before Ruin was even released-did make her wonder.
Yet, something about the conversation bothered her. If what Ruin said was completely true, then why did he care about her? Why return and speak to her?
"I guess that you've won, then," she said quietly.
"Won?" Ruin asked. "Don't you understand? There was nothing for me to win, child. Things happen as they must."
"I see," Vin said.
"Yes, perhaps you do," Ruin said. "I think that you just might be able to." It turned and began to walk quietly from one side of the cell toward the other. "You are a piece of me, you know. Beautiful destroyer. Blunt and effective. Of all those I've claimed over this brief thousand years, you are the only one I think just might be able to understand me."
Why, Vin thought, it's gloating! That's why Ruin is here-because it wants to make certain that someone understands what it has accomplished! There was a feeling of pride and victory in Ruin's eyes. They were human emotions, emotions that Vin could understand.
At that moment, Ruin stopped being an it in her mind, and instead became a he.
Vin began to think-for the first time-that she could find a way to beat Ruin. He was powerful, perhaps even incomprehensible. But she had seen humanity in him, and that humanity could be deceived, manipulated, and broken. Perhaps it was this same conclusion that Kelsier had drawn, after looking into the Lord Ruler's eyes that fateful night when he had been captured. She finally felt as if she understood him, and what it must have felt like to undertake something so bold as the defeat of the Lord Ruler.
But Kelsier had years to plan, Vin thought. I. . I don't even know how long I have. Not long, I would guess. Even as she thought, another earthquake began. The walls trembled, and Vin heard guards cursing in the hallway as something fell and broke. And Ruin. . he seemed to be in a state of bliss, his eyes closed, mouth open slightly and looking pleasured as the building and city rumbled.
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